Unfold the fools
Foldables are six years into their awkward adolescence and Samsung wants you to believe the Galaxy Z Fold7 is the first phone that isn’t a sad origami exercise. Slimmer, lighter, almost like a real phone - except still a $2,000 experiment where you get to beta-test the hinge.
Developers, we’re told, must now “take foldables seriously.” Yes, please drop everything and redesign your apps so someone can unfold their $2k rectangle into a slightly larger rectangle, just to see Amazon Prime Video letterboxed like it’s 2007. That’s the revolution.
Nobody will remember the hinge age. This is the napkin-fold epoch, a brief insect molt before the true metamorphosis. Already the labs whisper of rollables, stretchables, screens that slither out like tongues of glass, banners of light unfurling from the pocket like a cursed scroll. And here we are, optimising layouts for a crease, sweating over pixels doomed to the landfill.
And then there’s the money. Why on earth should developers pay tribute to Google’s app-store tax just to deliver “experiences” that make foldables desirable? If Samsung and Google actually cared, they’d be paying developers to make exclusive apps - bribes wrapped in grants wrapped in free devices. Instead, Google sits back, skimming 30 percent off everything, while Samsung begs developers to work for free to save their luxury hinge toy from irrelevance.
So yes, you can marvel at your cat’s hairs in QXGA+ glory, or you can remember you could have bought a flagship phone, a tablet, and a laptop for the same price. Foldables are the bridge nobody asked for: too small to be a tablet, too expensive to be a phone, too awkward to be either. Call me when it unfurls like a magician’s scarf.
One useful thing for the crease, however, is that it can help you measure a straight line of Colombian fairy dust.