back to article There's no international protocol on what to do if an asteroid strikes Earth

UK lawmakers have learned there is no international protocol for making decisions over how to respond to a prospective life-threatening asteroid strike on Earth. Members of the Science, Innovation and Technology Committee heard how UK academics had been part of the joint NASA and FEMA table top game exercise which found …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Our MPs will be using the time wisely to decide whos partner's business will obtain the exclusive rights to manufacture and sell the "asteroid hats".

    1. KittenHuffer Silver badge
      Coat

      .... and will also 'start' projects to prepare suitable ass-teroid safety bunkers .... that they will then cancel once suitable progress has been made .... only to be sold to the same partners for pennies on the pound .... to be finished off and then rented to those with enough money.

      Leaving us poor plebs with the cheap, Chinese, tin foil ass-teroids hats, that don't even fit, to protect us from a large kinetic energy impact event. Or hot fudge Sundae .... that falls on a Tuesdae!

      You can trust our lying, cheating, ass-hole, scumbag politicians ..... to be complete twunts. But then I repeat myself!

      ----------> Mine's the one with the anti-ass-teroid lining!

    2. UnknownUnknown Silver badge

      At least they will do that.

      In the USA it will be Don’t Look Up (for real) …. If NASA monitor programs not already wood-chipped by DoGE.

      1. Rafael #872397 Silver badge
        Trollface

        Nah, Lil' Hands Donald will propose a scheme to get a Big Beautiful Bomb with money coming from poor and sick people and going to space-buggering trillionaires. WIN!

        1. Roland6 Silver badge

          But only if it is going to fall on the US, anywhere else on the globe and it will be someone else's problem...

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Plot of Don’f Look Up …. trying to capture the rogue asteroid to exploit the mineral resources in it - and destroyed the Earth by underplaying the risks of fucking it up.

            A natural evolution of Ukraine, DRC etc.

        2. Ken Hagan Gold badge

          Too true. This was pretty much his suggestion for hurricanes. (https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-nuke-hurricanes/)

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Hats

      The hats will have tightly defined regulations governing manufacture and bids will be accepted via the government gateway encouraged from SME although large corporates will win. They must not contain conductive metals lest these short circuit the 5G control signals and upset the aerosolised nanobots. I.e., no tin foil hats permitted.

  2. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge
    Joke

    Eh?

    You mean we aren't going to load a bunch of deep sea on to a Space Shuttle and fire it in the asteroid's general direction?

    1. KittenHuffer Silver badge

      Re: Eh?

      I think you missed out 'oil rig workers' in there somewhere!

      1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: Eh?

        I sure did!

    2. Steve Foster
      Joke

      Re: Eh?

      Nah, Ellie is dealing with it.

    3. EarthDog

      Re: Eh?

      Because we all know it is easier to train rig hands to be astronauts than it is to train astronauts to be rig hands

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Eh?

        It is! Astronauts aren't a part of most space launches. For the first few launches they did little more than sit there. Chuck Yeagar called them 'Spam in a Can', and they pushed hard for a larger window so they wouldn't get bored. They were part of the process simply so the Americans and Russians could claim to have had their citizens in orbit.

        There have been over 3x as many unmanned moon landings than manned. Not a single astronaut was involved in the 9110 Starlink launches so far, GPS, nor in asteroid sample collection. There have been almost 400 manned space flights ever, and over 2000 uncrewed launches every year.

        I know there's a great romantic image of Steve Zodiac jetting about in Fireball XL5, but astronauts aren't needed for 99.5% of space flights. And when they are, it's as a pilot to carry more useful people (who have been trained as astronauts).

        Meanwhile, Offshore oil-drilling got its first attempt at commercial-scale remote-operation in 2019, after decades of people trying to develop it. And even then it needs a human crew to supervise. Drilling involves way more actuation and adaptation, assembly of equipment

  3. SnailFerrous
    Mushroom

    We can't get Bruce Willis to deal with it any more.

    1. DS999 Silver badge

      If there was a remake it would be the Rock playing that role so we'll send him up to blow it up.

      1. The commentard formerly known as Mister_C
        Boffin

        The Rock versus a rock? won't work. Needs paper to beat rock, as any fule know

  4. m4r35n357 Silver badge

    FFS

    We can't even get our shit together to solve the self-inflicted existential threats (when we _know_ what we need to do), so why should anyone expect that we can collaborate to solve an external threat like this (where there is realistically nothing we _can_ do).

    Cue "remedial physics lessons" in 3, 2, 1, . . . ;)

    1. Richard 12 Silver badge

      Re: FFS

      With enough notice, we do have the technology to prevent an impact.

      Space is big. Like really big.

      The Earth is comparatively really small.

      A very tiny nudge in the right direction a decade before impact is more than enough, so a launch 12-15 years before is likely to be enough.

      If we wait until it's going to hit during this political term then it's far too late and the only thing that can be done is to use the politicians as a meat shield.

      1. m4r35n357 Silver badge

        Re: FFS

        Hollywood physics. Dream on.

      2. Ian Johnston Silver badge

        Re: FFS

        Great. Now all you have to do is spot and very very accurately track something a mile across and (12 years x 20,000 m/s) away. In fact, you have to spot and very, very accurately track every small lump at that distance, to decide which are threats.

        Good luck.

        1. Richard 12 Silver badge

          Re: FFS

          Yes. We are already doing this.

          We definitely have not spotted them all, and their orbits can change due to approaches with smaller objects that we haven't spotted, or outgassing.

          So we do need to keep looking.

          https://eyes.nasa.gov/apps/asteroids/#/home

          1. Persona Silver badge

            Re: FFS

            In the 90's we knew about 50,000 asteroids. This grew over time so we currently know about a million. Another 2000 new asteroids were found within hours of the Vera Rubin Telescope recently starting operation. Scott Manly is predicting it will discover 5 million more over the course of the next 10 years. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TUQRJLfNzs

            Space is big.

          2. Paul Herber Silver badge

            Re: FFS

            Outgassing. So this is all the fault of men, beer, beans and curry.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: FFS

          Can't AI do it?

          1. DJV Silver badge

            Re: Can't AI do it?

            Well, no doubt it could attempt it. But does that mean we risk it hallucinating an impact that could never occur and completely miss one that will?

      3. Mint Sauce
        Pint

        Re: FFS

        Space is big. Like really big.

        I dunno man, it's a long way down the road to the chemist's. How does that compare?

        1. TrickyRicky

          Re: FFS

          It's peanuts...

  5. Sir Sham Cad

    Didn't we solve this in 1979?

    All we need is a triangular spaceship that shoots little white dots!

    Pew pew pew!

    1. EarthDog

      Re: Didn't we solve this in 1979?

      I’m highly experienced with several high scores under belt. Where do I volunteer?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Didn't we solve this in 1979?

      Ah yes, Asteroids!

      A friend and I had mastered the game of Asteroids back in high school and could play all day on just one quarter.

      The trick was not to shoot as much asteroids as possible but to shoot all the rocks but leave one small rock still on screen and then fly as fast as possible across the screen diagonally and wait for the tiny enemy space craft to appear that was worth 1000 points.

      We could easily rack of tens of thousands of points using this technique and would collect so many extra ships (lives) that they would go beyond the field of view at the top of the screen that would allow you to take a break from gaming to go outside and get some air and still have plenty of ships left to where you wouldn’t end the game.

      The danger in that was that if you had too many extra ships it would cause memory corruption in the console and you wouldn’t see some of the small lines that made up the asteroids start to disconnect and waggle in the air.

      The local 7-11 convenience store in my neighborhood sponsored a competition for Asteroids and my friend and I were shoe-ins to win but we never followed through with it and registered but we heard an older guy in his twenties had won the competition and received a brand new Asteroids deluxe machine.

      I can’t remember if the memory corruption could be easily fixed by unplugging thr game or letting the ships dwindle down but if memory serves (no pun intended) they had to replace a couple of the consoles during the competition due to memory issues.

      Those of us that have witnessed it know what I’m talking about.

      Much simpler times back then.

      I’d offer you a pint for the memories but I’m A/C.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Didn't we solve this in 1979?

      That's what we need, tangetial thinking. We can select shooters by monitoring computer games to find the best.

      1. Long John Silver Silver badge
        Pirate

        Re: Didn't we solve this in 1979?

        As in the book/film "Ender's Game"?

        1. Rafael #872397 Silver badge
          Alien

          Re: Didn't we solve this in 1979?

          As in the movie The Last Starfighter (a few years later: 1984)?

    4. Arty Effem

      Re: Didn't we solve this in 1979?

      Nice idea, unfortunatey sound effects don't work in space.

      1. Paul Herber Silver badge

        Re: Didn't we solve this in 1979?

        What would we call the game if there was nothing to replace the bits where the pews used to be?

  6. gv
    Pint

    Resistance is useless

    Has anybody checked with the planning department on Alpha Centauri?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Resistance is useless

      I would check, but I'm a bit preoccupied with trying to locate the correct disused lavatory to retrieve some council records pertaining to a new motorway.

      1. Michael Hoffmann Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Resistance is useless

        Just look for the leopard!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Resistance is useless

      Oh God, we don't have an international protocol for space bulldozers arriving from hyperspace!

      1. Paul Herber Silver badge

        Re: Resistance is useless

        We saw a programme on TV yesterday featuring elephant seals. Gave me an idea about some overweight, bullying, officious type of creature ...

        Poetry in motion, it was not!

  7. Tron Silver badge

    That's not all...

    There is no international protocol for making decisions over how to respond to a zombie apocalypse either.

    They may have to throw some money to friendly experts on a committee, to hear representations from industry requesting money to deal with this, with Oracle or Fujitsu doing the software.

    That will just leave the question of who supplies the AI.

    £50m should do it, funded by benefit cuts.

    1. EarthDog

      Re: That's not all...

      https://www.ready.gov/community-preparedness-webinar-series-zombie-awareness

    2. Richard 12 Silver badge

      Re: That's not all...

      A large asteroid strike is absolutely certain eventually if we do nothing - it's happened before - we just don't know when.

      A zombie apocalypse is unlikely to happen, unless they're in the White House.

      1. Sanguma

        Re: That's not all...

        Bah! Rats! Foiled! Damn it all! Beaten to the punch! I was going to suggest that the Zombie film apocalypse had been a preparation for a Trump Presi-Dent-sy - Dent as in the late Arthur Dent - but A: the US voting public elected the Zombie, and B: you connected the dots before I did! Bah! Rats! Foiled again! Now what have I done with my whiskers, in order to twirl them effectively? Josephine? Josephine! Josephine!?! What have you done with my whiskers!?!?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: That's not all...

      The zombie apocalypse is here. It was started at the Rio climate summit in the 90's. Have you not noticed the zombies walking around saying' "I'm saving the planet by deforesting to make way for CO2 sequestration plants, solar farms and windmills made from devastating land with open caste mining and child labour? We're building complex EV cars that require replacement with 5 years so we can make twice as many using (so called) fossil fuels.

  8. elsergiovolador Silver badge

    Extreme weather event.

    The news we’ve all been waiting for: if an asteroid is on its way to obliterate civilisation, rest assured - there is no international plan. Zero. Nada. We’ve got committees “working through policy questions,” which is bureaucratic speak for “writing PowerPoints until the sky turns orange.”

    So what’s the response for a giant interstellar rock with a kinetic energy equivalent to all our petty worries vapourised in a flash?

    No COBRA briefings. No chin-stroking pundits. No last-minute think tank report titled “Reimagining Impact Events for Inclusive Growth”. Just one beautiful, unconsulted end to the circus.

    Maybe that’s the plan: die with dignity before another global summit on “planetary resilience” chaired by someone who still thinks gravity is a hoax.

    And let’s be honest - even with 14 years’ notice, we’d:

    Waste year 1 commissioning big four to draft an action plan no one reads.

    Spend years 2-8 negotiating who gets to name the rocket.

    Year 9: procurement scandal.

    Year 10: new government, project scrapped.

    Year 11: reinvent the same plan, with diversity, Net Zero targets and a TikTok campaign.

    Year 12: public inquiry.

    Year 13: think pieces on “how the asteroid might inspire innovation.”

    Year 14: impact.

    And when it hits? No sirens. Just the faint sound of a civil servant whispering, “we followed the process.”

    Bring it on. At least the asteroid doesn’t pretend to care.

    1. KittenHuffer Silver badge

      Re: Extreme weather event.

      Personally I think that you're being far too optimistic!

    2. Eclectic Man Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Extreme weather event.

      "Spend years 2-8 negotiating who gets to name the rocket."

      Ahem:

      Pointy McPointface

      FTFY

      Sorry, couldn't resist. My coat is the one with the badly sewn on NASA Space Cadet badge on the sleeve.

      1. Roger Kynaston
        Coat

        So we call the asteroid?

        Hitty McHitFace, Explody McExplodeface, Wipeout McWipoutface?

        I could go on but I have an online poll to fill out and my phone is in my pocket.

        1. Eclectic Man Silver badge
          Happy

          Re: So we call the asteroid?

          This was a reference to the naming of a British research vessel, when the naming was open to the Great British Public, the name "Boaty McBoatface" won, but it got named 'Sir David Attenborough' instead. One of the submarines did get the popular name: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boaty_McBoatface

    3. Sudosu Bronze badge

      Re: Extreme weather event.

      You forgot the most important bit:

      Year 13.99 - Huge and complex "End Of The World Party" rapidly and successfully organized and implemented at the last minute, by citizens, without government help.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Extreme weather event.

      Your cynicism is appreciated. Nice situation summary. You did however omit the vast transfer of wealth to the already rich building failed projects and the total impoverishment of the masses through enormous taxation and inflation to keep them safe. Oh ... it's already being done, must be advanced planning, we're so lucky to have a government with foresight.

    5. Paul Herber Silver badge

      Re: Extreme weather event.

      Gravity is a hoax and I have proof!

      https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/db/Morris_dancers_York_8667.jpg

  9. Headley_Grange Silver badge

    3 pints and some peanuts is my plan.

    1. b0llchit Silver badge
      Coat

      Good it is Friday then. Thursdays are rather problematic. I never could get the hang of Thursdays. Friday it is and that means Cheers!

    2. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
      Mushroom

      To be brutally frank, whether we do or do not have a protocol probably won't make much difference.

  10. spireite

    No, what will happen is that that DJ Trump will promise to fix the situation, with Musk as his wingman.

    Then, at the last second, Trump will depart the spaceship with strict directions to Musk to do the job.

    In one of the other seats will be Toxic Barbie, who will stand on the moon telling the universe that the mission failed because Biden didn't finish his Coco Pops that morning.

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Shouldn't be a problem, the gravitational field associated with Musk's ego will be enough to change any asteroid's orbit.

  11. Joe 59

    This anti-Sweet Meteor O'Death talk is offensive and can't be allowed in a civilized society. The Sweet Meteor O'Death strongly rejects this kind of planning, and condemns the process as useless and a tremendous waste of taxpayer money ahead of his arrival.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A few simple steps

    1 - Sit comfortably

    2 - Loosen tight clothing

    3 - Reach forward

    4 - ... further than that

    4a - ... further still

    5 - Purse lips

    6 - Kiss one's arse goodbye

    1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge

      Re: A few simple steps

      Duck and cover!

  13. Roj Blake Silver badge

    "Approaching at Hypersonic Speed"

    Remind me: what's the speed of sound in space?

    1. b0llchit Silver badge
      Alien

      Re: "Approaching at Hypersonic Speed"

      Ehm,... fast ?

      But that is probably also very fast.

    2. Excused Boots Silver badge

      Re: "Approaching at Hypersonic Speed"

      "Remind me: what's the speed of sound in space?”

      I think it’s zero!

      Hurray, we’re all saved!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "Approaching at Hypersonic Speed"

        Not true, as space does contain matter, no matter how sparse, there is a speed of sound. Maybe a physicist can tell us if it will be fast or slow because it will be so faint impossible to measure. How far does a molecule travel in interstellar space before hitting another, or perhaps a better question is how long. I would assume the speed of sound will be approaching zero, but not zero, because it reduces along with density. Less to bump into.

        Ok let's call it zero.......

        1. Persona Silver badge

          Re: "Approaching at Hypersonic Speed"

          You are correct but the mean free path is kilometers so sound waves cannot form coherently and the concept of a "speed of sound" becomes irrelevant. So we could call it zero or better still NaN

          1. Like a badger Silver badge

            Re: "Approaching at Hypersonic Speed"

            Speed of Nan is presumably the same as a mobility scooter, and that would mean around 4-6 mph.

    3. The commentard formerly known as Mister_C

      Re: "Approaching at Hypersonic Speed"

      SPEAK UP. CAN'T HEAR YOU. UNLESS YOU SCREAM.

      STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU. VACUUM AND ALL THAT

    4. Julz

      Re: "Approaching at Hypersonic Speed"

      Of the order of 100km sec-1 at a v v v low frequency.

      https://physics.stackexchange.com/questions/162184/what-is-the-speed-of-sound-in-space

    5. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

      Re: "Approaching at Hypersonic Speed"

      The same as the speed of light, what without all that air in the way. That's why nobody can hear you scream in space. Your ears aren't fast enough.

      Betcha thought nobody had an answer, dincha?

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Approaching at Hypersonic Speed"

      "Remind me: what's the speed of sound in space?"

      Duckducking† "What is the acoustic velocity of interplanetary space?"

      (I find it helps if your query is sounds adult~ish and sounds Iike you know what you're talking about‡... Presumably turns off the search engine's AI assisted bullshit generator.)

      The result of that query included this seemingly serious discussion:

      StackExchange Physics "What is the speed of sound in space?"

      Apparently 13,000 - 240,000 km/sec in the interplanetary medium [IPM.] The dependence on temperature is partially responsible for the range.

      † any guesses as to what autoconfuse made of this? Although I am not sure that it wasn't right. ;) ‡ crucial if you actually don't.

      1. Paul Herber Silver badge

        Re: "Approaching at Hypersonic Speed"

        What is the acoustic velocity of interplanetary space?

        Er, African or European interplanetary space?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    We do have a protocol

    Just watch:

    Don't look up

    It gives a rather well argued prediction of policy.

  15. ChrisElvidge Silver badge

    The stupid dinosaurs had no plan either - though they did last a few million years longer than current ape descendants.

  16. EricM Silver badge

    There's no protocol needed on what to do when an asteroid/comet strikes earth

    because then it's too late, damage will probably be local or regional and everybody is left to pick up his/her own pieces.

    Regardless of the high level of cynicism in this thread, there actually _should_ be a protocol on how to _prevent_ one of those to hit earth, which is perfectly doable with a long enough warning time.

    This means space observation and a deep space strike/push capability are absolutely critical - e.g. exactly the type of work currently being largely de-funded by NASA.

    @ESA, JAXA and CNSA : Care to take over? The potential benefit vs cost ratio is nearly infinite.

    1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge

      Re: There's no protocol needed on what to do when an asteroid/comet strikes earth

      There must be a Clarke and Dawe for that, surely...

      1. Ian Johnston Silver badge

        Re: There's no protocol needed on what to do when an asteroid/comet strikes earth

        An asteroid hit it? Chance in a million

        1. theDeathOfRats

          Re: There's no protocol needed on what to do when an asteroid/comet strikes earth

          Chance in a million

          You had to say it, dintcha?

      2. Bebu sa Ware
        Facepalm

        Re: There's no protocol .... There must be a Clarke and Dawe for that, surely...

        "There must be a Clarke and Dawe for that, surely..."

        This jewel would have to be a contender: The Front Fell Off.

        I imagine even left ponders might appreciate the Australian humour.

    2. SundogUK Silver badge

      Re: There's no protocol needed on what to do when an asteroid/comet strikes earth

      "The potential benefit vs cost ratio is nearly infinite."

      You haven't heard of opportunity costs, have you?

    3. WageSlave5678

      Re: There's no protocol needed on what to do when an asteroid/comet strikes earth

      Beware the Hot Glass !!

      Records show that the sizeable asteroid strike that hit Earth also vaporised the bedrock into plasma, which got pushed out as far as near space. That then fell back to Earth as very hot glass (c. 500 DegC ) which then broiled most of the animals on the surface. The oceans were less affected, it just cooled and sank. Anyone in a burrow probably survived initially, and then for a few days of roasted veg &/or cooked meat until it all went off.

      So anyone with a cellar would probably be OK, as long as they weren't too close to the seaside.

      At least initially ...

  17. TheMaskedMan Silver badge

    If there were to be a protocol, it would inevitably end up as a committee of space-capable nations, and we all know how effective committees are.

    Viable courses of action would be presented to the committee by a joint working party of NASA, ESA, JAXA et al within weeks, and then the politicians would spend the remaining time bickering, feathering their own nest and scheming to become chair of the committee. Actually doing something useful would not happen - debate would still be raging even as the world killer screamed down through the atmosphere.

    What we really need is an independent third party with the resources, facilities and knowledge at their disposal to do the job without - or perhaps in spite of - government intervention. Unfortunately, right now, that's probably Elon Musk. We are truly screwed.

  18. bemusedHorseman
    Coat

    ...And to think I voted for the Giant Meteor, only for it to no-show and drop out of the running. Sigh... I really should've stuck to #ResonanceCascade2024, at least the Combine make shit happen.

  19. Gary Stewart Silver badge

    The plan

    Sit down with our backs against a wall, put our heads between our legs, and kiss our ass goodby?

    1. Ken G Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: The plan

      I came here to say this, glad the protocol hasn't changed since my day.

  20. Ian Johnston Silver badge

    If humanity's future depends on NASA making a decision about anything then we're screwed.

    Much better to hand the job over to SpaceX. By the time seven earths have been destroyed they'll be getting the hang of it

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Really?

    Does it actually need a protocol at all? A large strike is like a large nuclear detonation without the radiation so don't we have a plan of how to evacuate all the state bureaucrats top somewhere safe so their useless skills can be saved to tell us what to do afterwards.

  22. xyz Silver badge

    The Plan...

    Be rich

    Say nothing

    Start wars to keep the gen pop distracted

    Get yer mate to build fuck off spaceships

    Leave and watch the fireworks from orbit.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You see...

    ...this is why we need to spend more money on degenerative brain diseases. If we'd fixed that, we'd still have Bruce WIllis.

    We may have train up the pound shop version of Bruce Willis, Jason Statham.

  24. Persona Silver badge

    Mostly pointless

    If there was a medium sized asteroid that was going to hit in the middle of the US you would expect the US to want to divert it, even if that made it likely to hit China. China however might see it differently. Don't expert international agreement because any pre agreed action could instantly become meaningless depending on the exact circumstances. The best that could be hoped for is agreement not to try to divert anything where there was a very high probability of it missing and any such attempt would become an act of war.

  25. ICL1900-G3 Silver badge

    Best option

    Grab your coat and snatch your hat, leave your worries on the doorstep

    Just direct your feet to the sunny side of the street.

  26. Roger Kynaston
    Pint

    Bigly huge

    We have the best asteroids. They aret the biggest and the best. We will (kaboom)

    Icon because I plan to be wasted if one does come our way.

  27. Long John Silver Silver badge
    Pirate

    Keep an eye on the 'in the know'

    When the UK is situated in the immediate impact danger zone of an asteroid or may receive tidal waves resulting from catastrophe elsewhere, the warning signs shan't arise from government announcement or from MSM.

    We need an underground surveillance organisation, perhaps to be named Kakistocrat Watch, enabling early warning to ordinary citizens (aka subjects of the Crown) of potentially survivable disasters (by 'renowned' people).

    Members of the Watch would report on unusual numbers of civilian and military aircraft departures from the UK, and similarly for shipping (especially super-yachts). Key individuals in the City, government, and, naturally, 'the royals', must have their movements monitored.

    The mass of folk would have no prospect of retiring to safety. However, forewarned, and suitably trained, civilian squads (perhaps some disaffected military also), could arrange to intercept the most prominent would-be emigrants and meet out justice. Tempting as it might be to adorn lampposts with decorative corpses, a more satisfying result, should it be feasible, would be to place the refuse of humanity in confinement on a low-lying seacoast.

    Parliamentarians not belonging to the top tier of 'Rt Hon.' members, should be made aware that their humble, yet much self-vaunted, status offers no privileges when 'push comes to shove'.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Skid Marks

    I was wondering whether a large (diameter at least several km) iron-nickel fast moving body could pass through the lower atmosphere just missing the Earth's surface without breaking up.

    I was thinking a track over Florida through Oregon. I imagine the shock wave from the body's passage through the air alone would destroy most structures along that trajectory and the vaporizing iron-nickel would grill, or rather broil, whatever was left.

    Kentucky Fried... I suppose it would be but we might still have Chicken Maryland.

    Inspired by one of the Earths scarred by a near miss with an asteroid presumably near the Gap described in one of Pratchett and Baxter's The Long Earth books.

    1. Ken Hagan Gold badge

      Re: Skid Marks

      I think the curvature of the Earth's surface puts a fairly low upper limit on the length of such a skid mark.

  29. 0laf Silver badge
    Mushroom

    Varying degrees of ded

    Hmm if you are rich you die slowly in a bunker, if you are poor you die quickly on the surface.

    If you're a tech bro you spend all your time trying to monitise the data and sell post apalypse apps for non-working devices.

    Either way all ded.

  30. JohnMurray

    I suspect..

    The international protocol will be to let the poor die, while the rich survive in their bunkers [with a choice of young beautiful females].

    Pretty much what the international protocol is for pandemics....

    1. Ken Hagan Gold badge

      Re: I suspect..

      "Pretty much what the international protocol is for pandemics...."

      A depressing (or is it, in this context?) number of ultra-rich seem to be prone to the "anti-vax" mind virus so regardless of the international protocol I doubt they'd be among the survivors.

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