back to article You say Cozy Bear, I say Midnight Blizzard, Voodoo Bear, APT29 …

Microsoft and CrowdStrike made a lot of noise on Monday about teaming up with other threat-intel outfits to "bring clarity to threat-actor naming." It's a great idea that would benefit network defenders tasked with keeping track of the 200-plus nation-state, financially motivated, and hacktivist crews that all the major …

  1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "Unfortunately, they didn't actually do anything to deliver this clarity"

    Cut them some slack. PR announcements are for making, not for acting on. Surely everybody knows that.

  2. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    Crouching Yeti

    Hidden Dragon?

    It strikes me that these 'cuddly' names in some way make the threat actors more acceptable to the public perception. But either way, the word salad is just a joke... just give 'em numbers: APTxxx?

    1. big_D Silver badge

      Re: Crouching Yeti

      How about things like

      Stinky bear

      Ferret fiddler

      Impotent Panda

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Crouching Yeti

        Just name them sequentially like Hurricanes or Ubuntu releases

        Impotent Panda

        Syphilitic Warthog

        Flaccid Gerbil

        Liz Truss

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Crouching Yeti

        Buttwipe

        Snotrag

        Smegma

        Toerag

        Syphilitic

        Pustule

        (and many other favourite Punk bands on this great double LP, all from K-tel this Summer)

  3. Throatwarbler Mangrove Silver badge
    Joke

    A humble suggestion...

    Just name them after El Reg commentards.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A humble suggestion...

      Even less "glamorous", from Windows error codes.

      0x1e for China, 0x28 for North Korea... so "Velvet Chollima" could be 0x286a291b

      I'm sure 80% of hackers will quit the group in a week.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Names

    Will they be given names like Storms; Norman, Hilda? That would be confusing when the BBC announces we're going to be hit by Hilda, half the country will be battening down the hatches and the other half turning their PCs off. How about names from Sci-Fi films; The Thanos Crew or The Doctor Doomers? Better yet, Mister Sinister? More British options; The Cybermen or Daleks, maybe The Quatermasses.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Names

      Too glamorous. Try <insulting adjective> <boring animal>. Like Farting Sloth, or Foolish Snail.

      Better yet, just give them simple numbers. APTnnn for instance.

  5. Roger Kynaston

    A different war

    Over here in Blighty our leader made a speech about how he wanted to buy lots of death and destruction toys. I feel that he missed a trick when he didn’t propose to set up some serious government based defence of the situation we are in. I know governments have a, sometimes deserved, reputation for being less than efficient but this piece illustrates that the private sector is often little better and what we need here is a serious recognition of the situation we are in and some concerted effort to counteract it.

    One thing that comes to my mind is to have a darpa like investigation into some protocols that have security built in to them rather than using ssl as an add on.

    Also, a caveat, I am sure that the TLAs here have their own groups (would the UK one be called haveacuppa?) trying to wreak havoc on people they don’t like.

  6. ChrisElvidge Silver badge

    Who actually gives a shit about the name of the nasty bastards that have just invaded their database?

    As said above, giving them "cuddly" names is just a PR exercise.

    @big_D : stinky winnie-the-pooh, impotent dear-leader?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Librarians have been using authority lists for eons to keep track of authors and their aliases, taking multiple writing systems, languages, and commonly used misspellings into account. For authors and aliases, substitute stars and nebulae and you'll be looking at astronomers' catalogs.

    An industry that lives off CVE numbers and credit card numbers and email addresses and so on has no excuse for failing to make identifications coherent, consistent, authoritative, and accessible.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A single standard on the industry ... may affect intelligence

    May reflect intelligence.

    If only we had some intelligence, nous, wits or even a bit of common sense that could be reflected.

    1. druck Silver badge

      Re: A single standard on the industry ... may affect intelligence

      It would certainly affect everyone's intelligence, or rather sanity, if Microsoft was put in charge of naming, with their long standing reputation for giving the same name to many different products.

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