Atlassian tweaks licenses to reward those who buy more, but gets its sums wrong

Atlassian has notified its customers of a new “maximum quantity billing” scheme that is good news for those who want more of its wares, but less fun for others. An Atlassian support document explains the new plan with the example of a customer who has a ten-seat subscription at $18 apiece and five days into the month adds …

[that one in the corner]

Atlassian customers will enjoy that predictability and simplicity

That is not a phrase usually associated with using Atlassian products...

[werdsmith]

Re: Atlassian customers will enjoy that predictability and simplicity

Indeed, I work where some idiot paid for Atlassian.

People just avoid it, ignore it and now it sits idle.

[Michael Hoffmann]

Re: Atlassian customers will enjoy that predictability and simplicity

Wait, what?

You work at a place where you are not forced to use Jira at gunpoint?!

How? Where? Should I send you my CV?!

[werdsmith]

Re: Atlassian customers will enjoy that predictability and simplicity

:) both Jira and Confluence fell out of use due to:

A. They cost too much time and productivity.

B. Everybody hated it, and sought out how to work round it.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Atlassian customers will enjoy that predictability and simplicity

Sounds like you are getting away easily then ; )

It gets worse when people actually try to use the products as well as just pay for them.

[Michael Hoffmann]

Jensen Huang now runs Atlassian?

"the more you buy, the more you save" seems to be his most memed phrase.

Apart from saying "AI" more often than a full rendition of Old MacDonalds Had A Farm.

[druck]

Re: Jensen Huang now runs Atlassian?

That was 'EI'.

[Gene Cash]

"Confluence: where information goes to die"

Management HATES it when I say that.

[Michael Hoffmann]

Perl was called a write-only language.

Confluence is a write-only document graveyard.

[Anonymous Coward]

Confluence is a write-only document graveyard.

A confluence is the flowing together, typically of rivers, which suggests to me that Atlassian's offering might be rebranded in the interests of accuracy, Effluence. L'Égout or Cloaca could be another contender.

_{I think Wall himself once described Perl as a Pathologically Eclectic Rubbish Lister.}

[teebie]

Why would anybody want more of their wares?