After that 2024 Windows fiasco, CrowdStrike has a plan – job cuts, leaning on AI

CrowdStrike – the Texas antivirus slinger famous for crashing millions of Windows machines last year – plans to cut five percent of its staff, or about 500 workers, in pursuit of "greater efficiencies," according to CEO and co-founder George Kurtz. In a letter to staff, included in a regulatory filing this week, the big cheese …

[IGotOut]

Makes sense...

...after all it wasn't like it was the "move faster" that caused the fuck up in the first place.

Oh hold on.

[Groo The Wanderer - A Canuck]

Re: Makes sense...

But now we'll be able to blame the computer and sue the vendor instead of having to take the hit of it being caused by human error. We think it's a winner!

[steviebuk]

What I want to know how

George Kurtz and Crowdstrike aren't bankrupt yet. Surely no one will ever use his software ever again. What a fuck whit.

[Oh Matron!]

Re: What I want to know how

But AI!

[Pascal Monett]

Great idea

Fire the people with experience and replace them hith a hallucinating statistical anaysis machine.

I think that's what you call digging your own grave.

In any case, we'll see just how much this pseudo-AI is going to help you reach $10 billion in revenue.

If I were one of your remaining customers, you have just signed the definitive death knell of our relationship and I would be looking for another security supplier.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Great idea

AI must have tipped over into being cheaper than people in Bangalore.

[BBRush]

Re: Great idea

But they have such cool free t-shirts! I for one will miss the ability to avoid another day of laundry if they fold.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Great idea

It'll look good financially for the next few quarters. That's all that matters

[Anonymous Coward]

What could possible go wrong when the AI identifies your zero-day vulnerability as a badger and calls the pest controller for you

[Doctor Syntax]

Automating test and release is a good idea - they should have done that already after last year's unpleasantness - but not by using AI.

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, they should have done that already BEFORE last year's unpleasantness - but not by using AI.

[Pope Popely]

hallucinatory interference

A lot of those on the net these days. Not necessarily hallucinated by generative AI.

[IGotOut]

On the plus side...

...when Delta get sued into oblivion (in progress), they then can reclaim a chunk back of these guys, which means they'll have to fire the AI. What you think the C-Suite will take a hit?

[Vulnerable RAT]

Business Efficiency

AI: Good morning. I successfully remediated the overnight ransomware outbreak with payment of the $5m ransom demand. I phished/impersonated a couple of the main people in the VIP group as per EntraID to facilitate the ransom payment (shh)

All systems have been recovered and we have been offered additional cybersecurity posture improvement advice and support from the threat actor as a goodwill gesture for our swift payment.

Enjoy the rest of your day.