back to article 'Cybertruck ownership comes with ... interesting fan mail'

Since Elon Musk vigorously threw up a gesture once thought reprehensible at a Trump rally on the day of the president's inauguration, owning a Tesla has taken on a whole new meaning for some. And it's owners of the Cybertruck – Tesla's most conspicuous and dorky model – who are bearing the brunt. At this point, we must doff …

  1. Howard Sway Silver badge

    spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

    It's true. I've been so brainwashed by the media I now hate EVERY technology, even spoons.

    1. b0llchit Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

      There is no spoon.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

        (There is) Only Zuul!

      2. Someone Else Silver badge

        Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

        The spoon is a lie!

        1. that one in the corner Silver badge

          Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

          (Enter The Tick, stage left) "Spoooooooooooooon!"

      3. Andrew Scott Bronze badge

        Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

        wish there were, that way we'd be getting it in small doses. as it is we're getting drowned in the crap every day.

    2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

      Spoons are evil! Alan Rickman's Sheriff of Nottingham even tore someone's heart out with one. Truly spoons are dictator death implements.

      That's why I always eat with my fingers.

      They call me soup-hand Luke.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

        "evil! Alan Rickman's Sheriff of Nottingham even tore someone's heart out with one"

        Well, he issued the order, but it didn't happen. History does not report whether Christmas was cancelled or not...

    3. The Dogs Meevonks Silver badge

      Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

      The irony is... that ole Muskrat and his Musketards made me hate them... simply by the words and actions that they themselves did.

      If you're at a dinner table with 10 other people, and Musk is invited to sit at the table... and no one speaks out... You now have 11 nazi's eating dinner... Same goes for buying anything produced by a nazi.

      Nazi's can fuck off

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
        Headmaster

        Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

        Nazi's can fuck off

        How do you feel about grammar Nazis?

        [Unable to decide between icons here. Troll, coat, smiley face? So many choices.]

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

          Come on, you could at least have called them Grammar Nazi's - one extra character for hours of fun.

          :)

          1. gnasher729 Silver badge

            Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

            I always, always use “grammer nazi” but “Grammer nazi’s” for two of them is even better.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

          Hey, maybe the possessive apostrophe shows that he thinks that a stainless steel cybertruck is the Nazi's can, as in "go to the can" ?

        3. The Dogs Meevonks Silver badge
          Devil

          Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

          A quick kick in the meevonks should suffice.

      2. Jellied Eel Silver badge

        Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

        Nazi's can fuck off

        Users "nearly daily" post images and videos capturing notes left saying things like "WHAT'S ELON'S §$% TASTE LIKE?" or "NAZI CAR," people kicking the vehicles or throwing slices of cheese at them, which is a novel form of peaceful protest we can get behind.

        Sounds a lot like El Reg then? Oh how far the Vultures have fallen..

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

          You won't be able to post any of that nonsense here.

          El Reg does moderate, and rightly so.

          1. Korev Silver badge
            Big Brother

            Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

            > El Reg does moderate, and rightly so.

            Compared to the <hushed voice>Moderatrix's reign of terror</hushedvoice>, I think we get off easily these days....

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

              She's probably on a well deserved break :)

              1. that one in the corner Silver badge

                Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

                Don't try voting on a comment when the WiFi is down, that summons her back! And doing it three times will uuuuurkkkkk

    4. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

      Do you think the association with Musk is going to make Nazis look bad ?

      1. gnasher729 Silver badge

        Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

        If makes the Nazis who built the beetle look bad.

    5. UrbaneSpaceman
      Pint

      Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

      What, even Wetherspoons?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

        Especially Wetherspoons.

    6. Ravester
      Pint

      Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

      At least spoons sell half decent beer for a decent price, oops sorry, wrong spoons thanks to the brainwashing...

    7. vtcodger Silver badge

      Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

      Ah yes. But you haven't seen our block-chain enabled, AI capable spoonmwith regular OTA updates. We'll be rolling it out to a few select customers in a few weeks. To order one, just send an email with full financial details to elon@scamster.ng.

      1. The Dogs Meevonks Silver badge

        Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

        It's 2040, you are currently dying from dehydration because the compulsory musketard neurailink chip in your brain has blocked all hydration due tot he expiry of your nestle water+ subscription service.

    8. The Man Who Fell To Earth Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

      I can sell you a new high-tech substitute for your spoon, that is to spoons what a cybertruck is to a real pickup truck.

      I call it a spork. And it's all mine!

    9. DS999 Silver badge

      The best punishment for them will come down the road

      When they try to sell or trade theirs in and find out it has far less residual value than they assumed it would.

      Until a few years ago Teslas had some of the highest resale values around, that has completely turned around since between Musk being forced to cut prices again and again trying to make up for sagging demand and the reputation of the brand being in the shitter as he's finally taken off his mask. That's something the "I bought this car before I knew he was a nazi" types are already reporting when trying to unload theirs, and it sure isn't going to get any better as more and more of them end up on the used market with fewer and fewer willing buyers.

      I suppose the only thing the Cybertruck cucks have going for them is that Tesla has reportedly cut back production - they are producing fewer of them than they were only a few months ago. And they were producing less than 5000 a month at the peak. So maybe "scarcity" will make it a collector's item someday for fans of odd looking vehicles. Like DeLoreans (pre BTTF fame) and Pontiac Aztecs and so forth.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The best punishment for them will come down the road

        Not all junk turns into treasure when it ages. Anyone who wants to preserve a Tesla is better off spending that money on therapy as they clearly need it..

    10. David Hicklin Silver badge

      Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

      I am surprised that someone has not invented an Bluetooth knife, fork or spoon yet complete with cloud subscription that causes it to stop working if connection is lost.

      They can then communicate with the dishwasher to start washing the moment the door is closed.

      And then re-order the dishwasher cleaning tabs...

      Stop! I must stop....need a lie down.......

      1. Daytona955
        Trollface

        Re: spoon-fed by media nonsense designed to make them hate Elon Musk and EVERY technology

        Watch out - the patent trolls will be after you. There's probably one somewhere that's bought HAPIfork's IP....

        https://slate.com/technology/2017/10/why-should-you-buy-a-bluetooth-enabled-smart-fork.html

  2. b0llchit Silver badge
    Devil

    Courts to the rescue

    It's called "the consequences of your actions"

    And His Muskness will promptly sue all you maggots because you are supposed to buy his bullshit, ahem, swasticars, damn, try again, monthly recall vehicles.

    His Muskness has been letting some ranting slip through, saying:

    You will be buying my cars, whether you like it or not. Boycotting me is not an option. I will have your money, one way or another.

    No further comments could be extracted, but laughter and shaking heads were plenty.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Courts to the rescue

      But suppose somebody bought a cybertruck because they are automobile fans and just wanted the ultimate in vehicle style and engineering?

      1. BartyFartsLast Silver badge

        Re: Courts to the rescue

        Then we would have them sectioned

      2. Rich 2 Silver badge

        Re: Courts to the rescue

        Oooo oooo - Thais is one of those “lateral thinking” puzzles isn’t it?

        Errrr… let me guess… The person in question is blind and his mates were having a laugh and told him it was a Lamborghini?

      3. PCScreenOnly

        Re: Courts to the rescue

        Wouldn't buy one of those then would they

      4. Ididntbringacoat

        Re: Courts to the rescue

        'But suppose somebody bought a cybertruck because they are automobile fans and just wanted the ultimate in vehicle style and engineering?"

        Oh, but let's not be Silly!

      5. nobody who matters Silver badge

        Re: Courts to the rescue

        <......".......the ultimate in vehicle style and engineering?"......>

        If someone wants the ultimate in vehicle style and engineering, the Cybertruck wouldn't even be considered for the shortlist.

        It's pug-ugly and judging from the number of safety recalls that have been issued, it is an engineering disaster.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Courts to the rescue

          "judging from the number of safety recalls that have been issued,"

          Yeah, he wanted a "SciFi" look but I don't think he meant it to be Total Recall :-)

          1. BartyFartsLast Silver badge

            Re: Courts to the rescue

            I wish I could forget I'd seen the Cybercuck too.

          2. Not Yb Silver badge

            Re: Courts to the rescue

            Satisfactory (video game) put in a Cybertruck easter egg. It has square wheels (and broken windows) on the model, and drove like it until a recent update which made it act a little more like rounded tires.

        2. blu3b3rry
          Devil

          Re: Courts to the rescue

          As has been said about various other car types over the years. It's a very, very expensive alternative to getting the word "Twat" tattooed on your forehead.

      6. short a sandwich

        Re: Courts to the rescue

        Someone's guide dog will need chastising in that instance.

      7. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: Courts to the rescue

        automobile fans and just wanted the ultimate in vehicle style and engineering?

        They would have bought *anything* other than a CyberTruck.

        Even a 1960s Trabant.

        1. nobody who matters Silver badge

          Re: Courts to the rescue

          Ooooh, that's a bit harsh :)

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Courts to the rescue

            Nah. Harsh is mentioning Lada.

            :)

      8. gnasher729 Silver badge

        Re: Courts to the rescue

        Thats a contradiction. You cannot be a car fan and like the cybertruck.

    2. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: Courts to the rescue

      "monthly recall vehicles."

      The horrible thing to admit is that Tesla has an efficient drive train. Sad that the rest of the car is shit.

    3. blu3b3rry

      Re: Courts to the rescue

      He's going to end up suing someone eventually for not calling him the "meme maestro" with the bee he's got in his bonnet.

  3. that one in the corner Silver badge

    Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

    Google was good enough to quote an excerpt or two from Facebook posts about this subject, and the answer appears to be - yes!?

    "fling the cheese from his Big Mac onto my truck. Glad it landed on the glass because it was there almost an hour before I got out of my flick and found it. Could have done some greasy damage to the trim or the tonneau"

    Tonneau? Isn't that just the fancy name for loading bed of the truck? Which can be damaged by greasy cheese? Yikes.

    Although there is a strange specificity to the protest: "CT was parked outside my daughter's home during a party and when I left there was a slice of American cheese stuck to the side of the truck.". American cheese? Ok, so that - stuff - will act like one of those vinyl wraps and adhere to the smmoth surface, but wouldn't a decent blue cheese have a more appropriate aroma?

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Happy

      Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

      I once threw a slice of cheese to the dog. He failed to catch it, unusually, and it landed perfectly on the top of his snout folded over and stuck. Poor bugger was absolutely frantic. He could see it, he could smell it, but it wouldn't come off and his tongue wouldn't reach to devour it's yummy deliciousness!

      Labradors being famed for their vast intelligence, he immediately ran straight at the kitchen table trying to knock the cheese off with the legs and then running under the chairs to scrape it off on the undersides. Took me a minute to calm him down and hand him the cheese - excitement over.

      I can only assume that Labradors were off chasing tennis balls when God was handing out the brains.

      1. Like a badger

        Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

        You're brave. My experience of dogs+cheese is that it results in farts that need their own logarithmic scale of awfulness. But feeding cheese to a friend's dog, that's OK.

        1. Someone Else Silver badge

          Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

          ...For small values of "friend"

      2. Evilgoat76

        Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

        The Malamute, with his whole two brain cells (one for breathing and a spare) tends to go for the catch with a noticeable lag and much enthusiasm which has landed said cheese on the top of the fridge/cupboards/child on numerous occasions

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

          My wife once vigorously shook a bottle of tomato ketchup *after* she'd loosened the top. The dog went totally mental trying to lick it off his own head (and everywhere else) and it took ages to clean up. Both the kitchen and the dog. She wanted to keep this amazing lapse of judgement from me, but she doesn't like going up ladders and the ketchup that reached the ceiling was a dead giveaway LOL

      3. Ian Mason

        Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

        They got the very last of the brains, just after the ginger cats.

        There is a theory that there is only one labrador braincell and that they all have to share it in a fashion similar to the single electron shared by the whole universe as mooted by Pauli (Man, I want some of what Pauli was smoking that day).

        1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

          They got the very last of the brains, just after the ginger cats

          I'll have you know our ginger cat is very bright. He can eat *and* purr at the same time!

          (Also, he says his tortie sister went to the brains handout twice. He can't remember whether she gave him any but she must have done.)

    2. RobThBay

      Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

      American cheese?? Ahhh you meant Freedom Cheese.

      1. richardcox13

        Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

        > American cheese?? Ahhh you meant Freedom Cheese.

        Correction needed: "Not-Cheese".

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

          I-can't-believe-it's-not-cheese, for shure.

    3. BartyFartsLast Silver badge

      Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

      American cheese is basically toxic waste that's marketed as cheese flavour foodstuff

      1. PCScreenOnly

        Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

        and no wonder it can rot through anything

        1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

          Tonneau? Isn't that just the fancy name for loading bed of the truck?``

          No it's the cover for the truck bed, most trucks have them I believe as optional extra's (Oher vehicles Unibody Trucks\SUV's have them as standard - Not sure about the SwastiKKKar).

          The Lady has them as a three part locking covers each rated for about 200 - 300 pounds.

          https://da8h1v3w8q6n5.cloudfront.net/aa82/inventory/230491/R01599960_1.jpg

          1. that one in the corner Silver badge
            Pint

            Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

            > No it's the cover for the truck bed, most trucks have them I believe as optional extra's

            Well, in the face of that, I just had to check again[1] (my French not being what it was); the word has moved across into English (and appears to be the basis for "tun" as well, much more important - see icon).

            The bastion of modern knowledge, Wikipedia gives the 'ole at the back as "tonneau" and the tarp flung over the top as the "tonneau cover", which matches what these off-roaders and some detailing enthusiasts[2] are talking about. If we go into third definition territory then it is finally being used to refer to the cover.

            Ok, we'll go with the third definition and accept that "usage changes" and all that. But that still leaves us with the Cybertruck owner worried that cheese will ruin his fancy replacement for a tarpaulin, which isn't any great improvement!

            > The Lady ... https://da8h1v3w8q6n5.cloudfront.net/aa82/inventory/230491/R01599960_1.jpg

            I am sure that your Lady looks gorgeous, but sadly that link gives the poignant message:

            >> The Amazon CloudFront distribution is configured to block access from your country

            [1] what, me, twiddling my thumbs waiting for The Machine to finish yet another build? Pshaw.

            [2] so *that's* what "detailing a car" means! Have heard it a few times but hadn't twigged it just meant a good scrub; well, you live and learn.

            1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

              "so *that's* what "detailing a car" means! Have heard it a few times but hadn't twigged it just meant a good scrub; well, you live and learn."

              I think I first heard the term in Back To The Future when Marty comes home and Dad is a successful author and Biff is the flunky "detailing" the trucks on the driveway. Seemed an odd word at the time. But they we might have our cars "valetted", which in the US would more likely mean paying someone to park it for you, not have it cleaned inside and out as in the UK. Language is weird, other national variations of a language you speak, doubly so. Ask a Frenchman about Quebecois French, or a Spaniard about a Mexican Spanish :-)

          2. werdsmith Silver badge

            Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

            No it's the cover for the truck bed,

            The cover for the truck bed is called the tonneau cover.

            The open area for loading is the tonneau.

            1. that one in the corner Silver badge

              Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

              Looks like I opened up a tonneau worms!

    4. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

      but wouldn't a decent blue cheese have a more appropriate aroma?

      If we are talking about appropriate aroma, some well-aged surströmming pushed down the outside ventilation slots might be more appropriate.

    5. veti Silver badge

      Re: Unless a finger smear or a slice of cheese is enough to damage the Cybertruck

      When you see a cybertruck, that's not time for a trip to the cheese shop to select the perfect tribute. You use whatever dairy product you have on hand. If you have "American cheese" (whatever the hell that even means) easily available, then that's what you slap on it.

      Besides, why would you want to waste good Brie or Stilton that way?

  4. captain veg Silver badge

    they're not like us

    What kind of persons sees a Cybertruck and thinks "in no way at all would I look an utter twat driving one of those"?

    -A.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: they're not like us

      It's cool innit! It big and shiny! Shiny thing go fast! Shiny thing go whoosh! Shiny!

      1. A Non e-mouse Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: they're not like us

        It goes 88mph too!

        1. Someone Else Silver badge

          Re: they're not like us

          So does my '17 Corolla....

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: they're not like us

          If only they then disappeared - flames optional.

        3. MachDiamond Silver badge

          Re: they're not like us

          "It goes 88mph too!"

          Not if you don't want pieces falling off.

      2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: they're not like us

        Although, saying that - beauty really is in the eye of the beholder.

        Some people bought these things Link to an Autoexpress article

        There's a bit of recency bias here. The Chrysler PT Cruiser and Fiat Multipla were here as I'd expected. No Allegro though. Or Montego. And I quite like the Pontiac Aztek - having never seen one before. Though it's in the realms of quirkily interesting, rather than actually good. Until you see one from another angle.

        Some people love the angular look. Some people seem to genuinely like brutalist architecture. I guess there's no accounting for taste.

        1. xyz Silver badge

          Re: they're not like us

          The Fiat Multipla is gorgeous.

          1. vistisen

            Re: they're not like us

            Its crash rating was so bad, that it was the only car that looked better after the crashtest than defore

          2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

            Re: they're not like us

            The Fiat Multipla is gorgeous.

            Perhaps sir has been drinking?

            Possibly brake fluid...

          3. graeme leggett Silver badge

            Re: they're not like us

            Both the original Fiat 600 Mutipla (a 1950s minivan) and the reuse of the name from the turn of the century are....distinctive, I'll give you that.

          4. captain veg Silver badge

            Re: they're not like us

            > The Fiat Multipla is gorgeous.

            Well, yes, for a given value of "gorgeous".

            Choosing a Fiat Multipla, of the 21st century variety, simply meant either "I don't have a penis", or "it didn't influence me."

            The original 1950s variety is, not exactly gorgeous, but certainly interesting.

            -A.

            1. captain veg Silver badge

              Re: they're not like us

              Hello downvoter,

              Was your down-click because you (a) do have a penis, and (b) it was instrumental in choosing a Fiat Multipla?

              Enquiring minds need to know.

              -A.

          5. HorseflySteve

            Fiat Multipla

            I got stuck behind one of those for 20 minutes driving to work one morning. The bulbous shape was bad enough but when combined with body colour of phlegm, I found it incredibly visually offensive & was very glad I'd had a light breakfast.

        2. PCScreenOnly

          Re: they're not like us

          Scorpio - old frog eyes itself

          The Multipa were really decent cars, well use abroad as Taxi's

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: they're not like us

            When mentioning the arrival of the new MINI, Karl Tsigdinos, presenter on RTE's Drive! programme, said that the spirit of the classic Mini was carried by the likes of the Multipla in terms of design features, as opposed to the new MINI.

        3. Andrew Scott Bronze badge

          Re: they're not like us

          from my youth the rambler american. today lexus cars are pretty ugly. cybertruck pretty weird looking, but most pickup and pickup like trucks buyers don't seem to really need them and the ones i've seen aren't very good drivers especially if there's snow on the ground. they seem to think that more power is the solution to every driving problem, and in snow that is not a solution. been hit by two pickup trucks and if they'd been just a bit more careful wouldn't have happened.

          1. Alumoi Silver badge

            Re: they're not like us

            What would Jeremy say: Power! More power!

        4. MachDiamond Silver badge

          Re: they're not like us

          "The Chrysler PT Cruiser"

          The exterior was rather non-mainstream, but there was good space for a bit of modification of the interior. At this point, there's plenty of them in scrapyards to supply all the parts to keep them going if you have one.

          1. Not Yb Silver badge

            Re: they're not like us

            Mom drove one around for a while. Apparently they're quite loud inside.

        5. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: they're not like us

          Some people bought these things

          Ew.

          Mind you, I was one of the very few that bought a (2nd) hand Citroen XM. *HUGE* slab of metal, great technology, French build quality..

          It (fairly rapidly) became 3rd-hand after the hydropneumatics failed for one too many times (the power steering, brake enhancement *and* the fancy self-levelling suspension all shared the same system. So, if anything went wrong with it (it did, repeatedly) you'd be trying to safely stop a tonne of car with no brakes, very, very heavy steering and no suspension. All I can say is that it was useful that the parking brake was cable-linked)

      3. Jellied Eel Silver badge

        Re: they're not like us

        It's cool innit! It big and shiny! Shiny thing go fast! Shiny thing go whoosh! Shiny!

        Only if they're painted red.

    2. Kevin Johnston Silver badge

      Re: they're not like us

      They probably bought the Cybertruck to be very visible and because the Pinto is no longer available.

      OK, yes I am stretching the bursting into flames well beyond Young's Modulus

    3. PCScreenOnly

      Re: they're not like us

      Fortuneatly, illegal over here - though seeing the rain + rust comment that would be fun.

      Wonder if it is worse than 50/60's british cars or 70's italian ones ?

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: they're not like us

        >Wonder if it is worse than 50/60's british cars or 70's italian ones ?

        They are both incredibly safe, while sitting on the hard shoulder with one pop-up headlight raised and a man in an anorak staring mournfully at an open bonnet.

        1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: they're not like us

          They are both incredibly safe, while sitting on the hard shoulder with one pop-up headlight raised and a man in an anorak staring mournfully at an open bonnet.

          At least the engine fire would keep them warm while they waited for the RAC.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Don't forget your incel card

    " Secondly, has he never tried to use a toilet in the pitch black so as not to disturb a loved one? Or does this guy just let it rip and expect someone else to clean up?"

    Either he's never had sex (highly likely) and tried to pee afterwards or he's a typical Elmo fanboi and expects everyone else to clean up his mess (also highly likely)

    Or both, the second explains the first.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Don't forget your incel card

      They have their mummy to clean up after them

      1. ChodeMonkey Silver badge
        Gimp

        Re: Don't forget your incel card

        This is not the kind of forum to raise the spectre of a NaziWankWagen owners playing at watersports with their mothers.

        1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
          Alert

          Re: Don't forget your incel card

          This is actually a:

          Humby.

          source : The Meaning of Liff: (noun) An erection which won't go down when a gentleman has to go for a pee in the middle of making love to someone.

          Icon - Closest symbol to the appendage mentioned.

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

  6. 2460 Something

    I used to rave about Tesla, about how visionary Elon Musk was, how amazing SpaceX was. When the Thailand cave rescue incident occurred. Knowing nothing about cave diving I saw the early offers and prototype and was very impressed that this group of engineers would put time and effort into figuring out a solution to safely get those kids out. When he was told it wouldn't work (and also being told to stick it where the sun didn't shine), I initially defended his outburst, though as it carried on, I had a major loss in respect for him.

    Since 2018 the guy has gone massively downhill, just one crazy thing after another, lies upon lies and more lies (standard Trump behaviour) and it feels like he now has gone full on evil mode.

    It's sad really, as with that amount of money and influence, why care about screwing others over? He could have focused on making the best possible products and used it massive wealth to make the world a better place.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      He fooled a lot of people, I did try telling everyone he was a piece of shit liar conman from the beginning of his journey to infamy.

      glad people have finally caught up, pity it took so long to allow the musktwat get a grip on unearned finance

    2. Wang Cores

      >, I initially defended his outburst, though as it carried on, I had a major loss in respect for him.

      Yeah that's the problem. People didn't reckon with the fact that someone with that temperment isn't going to be benevolent and is only in it for PR. People who want to help don't fling murder or child molestation accusations at the drop of a hat, it's like answering "yellow" to "what's 1+1" to them. I'm not sure how to trick people into "trust but verify"ing the public figures they idealize.

    3. msknight

      El Reg...

      ...can we have a Norbot in Evil Mode icon please?

    4. rgjnk Bronze badge
      Alert

      Since 2018?? He was *always* like this.

      And it's not like he ever really hid what he was like. It just gradually became harder for people to ignore.

      All that's left is for the rest of the tissue of lies to publicly collapse.

      1. MonkeyCee

        Filter?

        I think it's also a lack of anyone in his life giving him honest feedback, combined with drugs, leading to a vicious circle.

        Some men would rather destroy their adopted county than go to therapy.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Visionary would be curing cancel. Solving 3rd world debt and hunger. Homing and educating America's growing homeless.

      He is, always will be, and always has been, a ****

      1. werdsmith Silver badge

        Sounds like a vindication for Bill Gates.

    6. MonkeyCee

      Solving world hunger

      It's a few years back, but Elon did ask how much it would cost to solve world hunger.

      People who care about these things made a decent plan, ballpark price 6 billion.

      Rightho says Elon, "donates" 6 billion in stock to his charity (tax benefit, but still has stock under his control) and says he'll solve it.

      Charity sits there, donating the minimum each year to maintain it's charitable status, sitting on the stock.

      Elon gets appointed to Lord of Breaking Things in the Most Expensive Way Possible, decides to make world hunger worse instead.

      The spectacle of one of the worlds richest men taking money away from the poorest people in order to pay to for tax breaks is obscene.

    7. Jonathon Green

      I remember the cave rescue thing.It seemed strangely ironic that the man who was advocating a 10 foot phallus as the solution was calling somebody else a paedophile…

    8. MachDiamond Silver badge

      "He could have focused on making the best possible products and used it massive wealth to make the world a better place."

      Lying and graft are a faster way to wealth.

      Marc and Martin had a path planned out for Tesla that included a lot more than Elon has implemented. Although, the more detailed plans are the point where Tesla is sat now so without quality new ideas and an updated map of where to go, Elon is at a loss and perhaps that's why he doesn't spend much time at Tesla. When he does...... a pink slip for you, and you, and your entire department.....

    9. ChrisC Silver badge

      The sad thing isn't so much how far Musk has fallen, but the way it affects our perceptions of the companies (and all of their hard working employees) he's now associated with.

      Your opening line sums this up perfectly - you *used* to rave about how amazing SpaceX *was* - and whether or not you intended this to indicate that you no longer do, others definitely will now be less inclined to talk positively about Musk-associated companies, yet the companies themselves haven't changed, so we should be raving about how amazing they *still are*...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        well considering spacex and telsa are just built on lies and hype

        no they are not amazing, it's always been grift

        1. ChrisC Silver badge

          Do your best to ignore the whole association with Musk, and just focus on what they've actually accomplished at a technical level - if you *still* believe they're both nothing special, then I dunno what to say.

      2. Not Yb Silver badge

        SpaceX has gotten worse over time. Starlink makes astronomy (and low-earth satellite orbits) worse. Starship still blows up regularly, and damaged it's own launch pad severely enough to require a redesign of the entire pad area after the first launch. Amazing is in the eye of the beholder.

  7. Wang Cores
    Childcatcher

    Engagement bait. Shame.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Found the Swasticar owner

      1. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

        Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty. How can you lose?

        I gave my first ever full-blooded "from the bottom of my heart" salute to a passing Tesla at the weekend. It really couldn't have been misinterpreted as anything else but the driver looked mortified.

        Can't think why.

        1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty. How can you lose?

          Have a beer

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cybertruck shape

    I have one consistent thought every time I see a Cybertruck:

    You'd think that, in 2025, for that much money, they could afford more polygons.

    (They always remind me of the tanks from Battlezone, a 1980 video game.)

    1. neilg

      Re: Cybertruck shape

      WankPanzer perchance?

  9. JDX Gold badge

    "Firstly, normal people don't care what car they or anyone else is driving"

    I have to say, while like the writer I'm not a car guy, this statement is pretty inaccurate.

    And I can't imagine many of us would laugh off harmless abuse like having our car cheesed, any more than we'd appreciate rubbish being thrown into our gardens by chavvy kids.

    1. Excellentsword (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: "Firstly, normal people don't care what car they or anyone else is driving"

      It doesn't form part of my identity, purely utility.

      1. MachDiamond Silver badge

        Re: "Firstly, normal people don't care what car they or anyone else is driving"

        "He could have focused on making the best possible products and used it massive wealth to make the world a better place."

        That's where I get stuck. I don't see much utility in the CT to make the cost and ugliness worth it. Like any other electric truck, it can't tow a heavy load very far. The shape of the bed means it needs to be loaded only from the end since only basketball players can reach over the side of the thing. It's massive which makes parking a problem. It's built on a cast Aluminum uni-body rather than a ladder frame. It's hard to see out of both to the rear and in the front with those giant A pillars. A 4' wiper blade? REally? Sharp edges. A Chop-0-Matic bonnet. The list goes on and on so the only reason a person might buy one is purely a "look at me" desire. Well, they've got that and people are assigning shortcomings to somebody that would spend a $100,000 for something like a CT to get noticed. I expect I could pick up a nicely restored E-type Jag for less than that and not be subjected to taunts from the gallery. For the money, I could possible get two and have one cleanly converted to electric. Stop me, I'm getting a chubby.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Firstly, normal people don't care what car they or anyone else is driving"

      I'm not particular about what I drive, as long as it's reliable, reasonably comfortable (so air conditioning and radio are required), and safe. So: Dodge Stratus, Mercedes 300E, Nissan Sentra, Chevelle Malibu station wagon, Dodge Grand Caravan, Mercury Sable are all cars I've routinely driven. (A couple of which were in unusual colors, but my current one is a comfortable gray.)

      But no, I wouldn't laugh off people throwing things at or putting things on my car. I'm not particular about the appearance of the car, but I'd be right concerned about the attitude of the perp, and potential escalation - like next time rather than throwing cheese, it might be a rock.

      1. Mythical Ham-Lunch

        Re: "Firstly, normal people don't care what car they or anyone else is driving"

        Truly, those are some of the cars of all time.

    3. PCScreenOnly

      Re: "Firstly, normal people don't care what car they or anyone else is driving"

      I do know quite a lot of people who when asked what car they have will give answers like

      "Red one" and no idea of make or model, just red.

      "A Ford", to which the follow up question of "what model" may have been me asking for the square root of 498 judging by the look on their face.

      The SO is pretty good when we are looking at cars for one of us. Right now I can be told about most small SUV's from any angle, any make model - as this is what is being purchased soon. Crap on any other type of car though

      1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

        Re: "Firstly, normal people don't care what car they or anyone else is driving"

        may have been me asking for the square root of 498 judging by the look on their face.

        Not square roots, that would make the blower sound funny. 498ci would make the car sound good. One thing that Tesla fabois and anti-fanbois have though is the whining.

      2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: "Firstly, normal people don't care what car they or anyone else is driving"

        The SO is pretty good when we are looking at cars for one of us

        [Gloom mode = on]

        Mine is stuck in the car-price era of 30 years ago [1]. Everything I look at is *far* too expensive..

        [1] She drives a Morris Minor. Price-adjusted, what we paid for it 30 years ago would buy quite a nice car nowadays, especially if you factor in all the replacement bodywork & parts it's eaten over the years.

      3. veti Silver badge

        Re: "Firstly, normal people don't care what car they or anyone else is driving"

        How many people read this comment, and then just had to know what the square root of 498 is?

        (22.3159136. You're welcome.)

  10. Felonmarmer Silver badge

    Upgrade

    Sitting down and taking your time makes it a posh wizz. Enjoy a selection of reading material with your visit and relax mind and bladder simultaneously.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Upgrade

      If you're reading a certain comic during - that would make it a Viz Wizz...

      1. MonkeyCee

        Re: Upgrade

        Shurely a posh Viz Wizz then.

        I'd quite like a LLM trained on the Viz life tips and letters page.

      2. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: Upgrade

        Depending on personal hygiene (Primarily lack thereof) it could be a Cheese Wizz, that would explain the thick muck that's sold in jars in North America.

        Especially with regard to our former friends Due South.

        "Canadian cheese whiz lists cheese as the second ingredient after milk. American cheese whiz does not list any cheese on the label".

  11. steven_t

    That's a twist on a common sci-fi plot

    The entities driving Teslas are becoming self-aware and turning on their master.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The domestic cyber truck is a diversion

    The real aim of the Cybertruck is to extract some $400M from the US tax payer by selling these disasters to government. And with Trump cronies in place, nobody is going to stop yet another handout to Musk.

    That's also what drove the whole bulletproof myth (just takes a bigger caliber)..

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The domestic cyber truck is a diversion

      Well, Trump does need a bullet-proof car, and the old Government-issued one is probably a little long in the tooth now...

      1. BartyFartsLast Silver badge

        Re: The domestic cyber truck is a diversion

        Wonder if we can surround it by sharks and see if he chooses electrocution

  13. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    It's an acheivement

    Nobody felt like this about Porsche, VW, Mitsubishi or Lada

    It takes a special sort of CEO to make SS-Oberführer Porsche and Brezhnev look good

  14. Kane
    Joke

    Meanwhile, Musk's behavior is getting so erratic

    Low Stakes Conspiracy - Musk is a victim of his own experiments on himself with Neuralink, which is why he's such a suitcase of cockerels.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Gerald Ratner on steroids.

    1. blu3b3rry
      Boffin

      Ketamine.

  16. BobTheIntern

    "...a gesture once thought reprehensible"

    Seriously? In my neck of the woods, it never stopped being reprehensible.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Too soon?

    Old Henry Ford was a bit of a Nazi in his day (among other things).

    My old Ford seems immune from abuse thankfully.

  18. Bebu sa Ware
    Windows

    An Opportunity...

    Here in AU most Tesla car owners that aren't complete drop kicks or displaced septics, are so dismayed if not disgusted by Space Karen's recent antics that they regret their choice of EV marque.

    Many now sport stickers of the ilk: Sorry! I Bought This Before I Knew Musk was a NAZI.

    I am wondering whether there is an aftermarket for Twatzika logo removal and replacement.

    While the symbol is supposedly a stylized segment of an electric motor it is also not unlike a thumbtack or a prick without any balls.

    I would be offering the deceased twitter bluebird as one replacement emblem option in a choice of colours of course but I expect the stylized facepalm will be a more popular selection.

    1. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: An Opportunity...

      "I am wondering whether there is an aftermarket for Twatzika logo removal and replacement."

      Actually, there is. There's loads of photos of people that have badged their Teslas with Audio, Honda and other brand emblems.

    2. Not Yb Silver badge

      Re: An Opportunity...

      It's fairly simple to remove the Tesla T and other badging with a heatgun and some good fishing line on a set of handles. If you don't care what the car looks like after, you can skip the adhesive residue removal to save time.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I don't get it

    Why the sudden surprise?

    Musk has always been a &^%$

  20. disgruntled yank

    Consequences

    """

    It's called "the consequences of your actions" – something, we admit, Musk is not at all acquainted with.

    """

    Wasn't being forced to buy Twitter at a ridiculous price something of a consequence?

    1. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: Consequences

      "Wasn't being forced to buy Twitter at a ridiculous price something of a consequence?"

      Well, he promised to buy it, signed a contract and then wanted to back out after violating the non-disparagement terms of the contract from day one impacting the value of the company as many employees immediately started jumping ship before the rush which also damaged the company. If he had buyer's remorse and paid the $1bn bail-out clause and not bad-mouthed Twitter, he could have "gracefully" nullified the contract. As if Elon could do anything gracefully.

      1. Not Yb Silver badge

        Re: Consequences

        I think he hoped to pay the $1bn bail-out at one point, but they wouldn't let him do that due to the contract terms. Apparently signing an important document while high may not be the best idea.

  21. Andrew Scott Bronze badge

    I remember reading Andrew Tobias talking about wasting money, and saying that the thing most people were likely to waste money was on a car purchase. I could waste money on a cybertruck, but why? if i were driving a fiesta it would get me there, and my first car was an escort, probably less expensive. all i needed. good mileage for the time. Today, for the price of a cybertruck i could pay for all the gas i'll need in my lifetime and all the service i'll need for my car and still have money left over to replace it in 10 years. Sorry, don't get it. got nothing against cybertrucks, they are weird looking but if you want to drive one be my guest. just think the expense is sketchy.

    1. MachDiamond Silver badge

      "just think the expense is sketchy."

      Cars are still, after over 100 years, a status symbol. It's like buying a Rolex watch. An old Timex can be just as accurate and have a similar look. It means that many people buy a car to show off their wealth, try to get others to believe they have money or think having a fancy car is going to get them laid (which it might, once or twice).

      My car really needs a new splash of paint, but it gets me where I need to go perfectly fine. That's good enough. I trade on tying to be a good person over being flashy and people feigning to like me with the hopes I'll give them money/stuff.

  22. collinsl Silver badge

    Dear Sir,

    As a Fiesta driver I object to your comment about it's reliability. Thanks to Ford's ideas involving belts and their placement within the oil sump I live in fear of the day when said wet belt will disintegrate, catastrophically destroying the engine and probably flipping the car at the same time as the engine seizes solid.

    Yours etc,

    Brigadier Arthur Mandrake Throatwarbler Mangrove kerplunk kerplunk whoops where's my thribble two jags Arthur Jackson (Mrs)

    1. MachDiamond Silver badge

      "Brigadier Arthur Mandrake Throatwarbler Mangrove kerplunk kerplunk whoops where's my thribble two jags Arthur Jackson (Mrs)"

      Quick, where's the bursar's dried frog pills?

    2. The Organ Grinder's Monkey

      The wet cambelt is indeed the most extreme example of planned obsolescence ever foisted on an unsuspecting public by a motor manufacturer.

      I should point out two things:

      1. You don't need to wait for the belt to snap before the engine gets destroyed, the build up of fragments shed by the cambelt as the oil attacks it clogs the oil pickup well before the belt fails & the engine then dies of oil starvation.

      2. Ford claim that this doesn't happen if you use their wet belt-specific engine oil. Presumably Peugeot et al make similar claims.

      1. MachDiamond Silver badge

        "2. Ford claim that this doesn't happen if you use their wet belt-specific engine oil. Presumably Peugeot et al make similar claims."

        That's how you cover up a very poor decision and also make money at the same time. The Ford brand oil specific for that engine is the same stuff others sell, just at 3x the price.

      2. Not Yb Silver badge

        The maker of that wet timing belt was so gung-ho about how good idea it was, too. I'd never buy one with that design now.

  23. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge
    Trollface

    Showing my solidarity ...

    ... with the anti-Elon/Trump crowd. Smile and wave as I drive by, rolling coal, in my bro-truck.

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