back to article Profit slide at HP can only mean one thing: Hammer time

HP says it intends to elbow up to 2,000 workers overboard with the aim to help it save up to $300 million in its current fiscal year that runs until October. Confirmation of an "amendment to its current" multi-year "restructuring plan" comes days after it emerged that Enrique Lores, corporate captain of its tech tanker, was …

  1. williamyf Bronze badge

    ¿what happened to El Reg's traditions?

    The Reg had a habit of using HP ink and HPe to reffer to both companies.

    aside from extracting a chukle from the audience, one knew from the get go which companywas the article about.

    instead, here one had to read to the second paragraph to know, and only if you remember that Llores is the CEO of HP ink. If not, you need to read even more.

    Pretty please El Reg, ¡enshrine the mandatory use of HP ink and HPe in your style manual!

    1. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

      Re: ¿what happened to El Reg's traditions?

      Perhaps that should be "HP(red)ink".

  2. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    At first, we have HP

    with profits down.

    After Trump 2.0's first month and a bit of taking an axe to Jobs in the Federal Government, the US is plunging into a recession like a Ukrainian drone falling onto a Russian T72 tank.

    They are only the first large company in the US (and worldwide) to report lower profits. Get used to it people.

    That recession could easily turn into a depression. Good luck USA, there will be no funding for the soup kitchens as Bezos, Zuck and the rest of the billionaires take all the money they can and to hell with what the voters want.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Who will be next?

      Tesla? Given the anti Musk feeling in many parts of the world I'd say that Wall St is building in a hefty loss this quarter.

      I posted this not long after seeing a transporter loaded with Chinese built Model 3's heading towards London on the M3.

      IMHO, there is so much choice in the UK and the EU now, why buy or mostly lease a Tesla especially with all those extra taxes about to hit cars priced over £50K here in the UK.

      1. Herring` Silver badge

        Re: Who will be next?

        The P/E ratio of Tesla is around 175. Which is lunacy.

        I get the impression that the founders of Tesla started off OK and the cars were new and innovative. Since then, Musk has brought empty promises, faked demos and the Wankpanzer. The problem the US has now is that the big tech companies - which are all of the gains in the stock market plus a bit - have nothing new. They are busy investing trillions in AI "solutions" with no trillion-dollar problem that requires them. Meanwhile they are trying to up the income by making everything a subscription - no such thing as buying a gizmo and just using it until it breaks.

        I do believe it's time for a beer.

    2. Bebu sa Ware
      Coat

      Re: At first, we have HP

      "That recession could easily turn into a depression."

      You may be right. Some of the economic damage is structural and probably irreversible in the short to midterm; the reputational harm is probably irrecoverable.

      "the billionaires take all the money they can"

      That's assuming it's a deflationary (or is it stagflationary?) depression like '29 but even more likely given the lower actual non service production of the US to be inflationary (or hyperinflationary) which in the event could mean that these prats' billions might not be worth so much.

      The importance and centrality of the USD in the world economy has decreased in the last few decades and more rapidly in the last five with the current administration hastily nailing the last few nails into its coffin. One might suggest an own goal to the likes of BRICS.

  3. Filippo Silver badge

    Hey, I have a radical idea. What if we stopped profit loss by, hear me out here, stopping giving customers so many reasons to buy another brand?

    1. Sam not the Viking Silver badge

      It is a constant paradox that in businesses which serve the customer, the bosses must fail to use the service themselves so can't see if their product/service matches expectations.

      On the other hand, if you are taking home $19 million, why should you care at all?

    2. simonlb Silver badge

      Ah, I remember the days when HP was run by engineers, made bloody good products, provided excellent customer service and valued all their staff at every level. They were highly regarded in every field they served and were a byword for quality and integrity. Pity they've pissed it all away now.

      1. JWLong Silver badge

        Reminds me of IBM.

        Today they're the same shit show!

    3. ecofeco Silver badge

      That's just crazy commie talk? How dare you even THINK that the board of directors should sacrifice one iota!?!

      Commie lunacy! They are owed, OWED! customer loyalty and by god, the beatings will continue!

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Could HPs woes have anything to do with customers getting pissed off and GOING ELSEWHERE?

  5. Mentat74
    Joke

    Shouldn't they...

    Give their workers a 15 minute wait-time before firing them ?

    1. alain williams Silver badge

      Re: Shouldn't they...

      They will fire then but have a 15 minute wait time before they tell them that they are fired.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Still cutting itself into irrelevance?

  7. A. Coatsworth Silver badge
    Flame

    >>The cost-cutting programme began in fiscal 2023

    Cost cutting started long before I left pre-mitosis HP, nigh on 10 years ago

    What can be left to cut, after being sliced, diced and sashimied for a decade, I can't fathom.

    1. Like a badger

      "What can be left to cut, after being sliced, diced and sashimied for a decade, I can't fathom."

      That's because you (and I) are not the sort of top class boardroom talent that deserves $19m for sitting in a big office, spouting shit and allowing profits to sink.

    2. WigglesVonSpiggles

      They have certainly been that way for decades now. Different company names (split merge split merge), different faces, same rapacious entitled American corporate crap.

      I joined around the time of Hurd The Butcher, and I remember one time we all received an email from him saying something like “Revenues are down 20% YoY this quarter, so I will be asked why I’m not cutting 20% of the staff”, followed by a request for us to voluntarily agree to reduce our salaries by 5% instead.

      They even had the balls to suggest Hurd had solidarity with us because his own base salary would be cut by 5% too. I recall we calculated that as a percentage of his complete package he was losing out on about 0.0005%* of his annual benefits. Hardship if ever there was.

      *Number of zeros pulled out of my arse**, but it was a lot.

      **A similar source to their corporate strategy.

  8. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

    New Slogan?

    "Hewlett Packard: using fewer people to do less and less."

  9. Grunchy Silver badge

    $300,000,000 ÷ 2,000 workers = $150,000 per worker

  10. EricB123 Silver badge

    Why doesn't HP just buy their printers from Brother and slap an HP logo over that?

  11. PeterM42
    FAIL

    HP deserves to die

    No more great products.

    Give us TOTAL CONTROL over your HP printer

    Charge exhorbitant amounts for ink

    etc

    etc

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