Eggheads crack the code for the perfect soft boil Researchers have put computational fluid dynamics software to good use in devising a solution to the age-old problem of the perfect soft-boiled egg. While Brits love to dunk their soldiers (toast cut into strips) in a soft-boiled egg, other nations seem more equivocal about its taste. Nonetheless, ensuring that the white is …
The connotations attributed to the adjective, "hot," would imply that a hot fluid was perceptibly warmer than a "tepid", "lukewarm" or "blood-warm" fluid which one might understand to be approximately body-temperature. Conclusively: "hot snot" would be distinct to "tepid snot" in the imaginations of most readers.
(I do hope I have not offended any reader's imaginations in my synopsis of these English-language facts.)
Yeah, I was just super bummed out that Happy eggs 404-ed their so-convenient, fast (compared to 32 Italian minutes!), and tasty pre-boiled offerings ... they did however launch "new" frozen pre-omeletted eggs, that are less messy for an unsuspecting world, yet still hit just as hard, or harder!
I want it ready when the toast is done!
Mishak,
Well are you going to be pleased! Latest research has just what you need! A toaster that ensures perfect exterior toast crunchiness to interior fluffiness ratio (a wondrous state we shall heretofore refer to as flunchy). This is achieved with alternate heating and cooling cycles, meaning your breakfast toast can also take 32 minutes.
Glad to be of service.
Share and enjoy!
Up-voted for "flunchy". What a wondrous word. That you, I now have a smile on my face.
As for boiled eggs, what I want to know is whether the shell and inner membrane of this 'perfectly' boiled egg come off easily or stick to the cooked white. An issue not addressed by this article or the one in the Guardian which I read earlier: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2025/feb/06/scientists-crack-what-they-say-is-the-perfect-way-to-boil-an-egg
Come on, these things are important!
Eclectic Man,
I'm glad to make you smile with my silly portmanteau word. I was very pleased when I came up with the word flunchy, that kind of silliness makes me happy. Mostly when using it I have been met with derision from my so-called-friends and family. But I still soldier on with it - mainly to annoy them, if truth be told.
They all laughed at the Wright Brothers' genius too!
Although, as Sagan said, they also laughed at Bozo the clown.
"They all laughed at the Wright Brothers' genius too!"
The British comedian (who was for a while a joke writer for the great Bob Hope):
"When I told my friends I wanted to be a comedian, they all laughed.
They're not laughing now!"
And, at the end of a stand up gig, to a young lady:
BM: "Did you understand the jokes?"
YL: "Some of them."
BM: "Shame on you! Get thee to a nunnery!"
Upvote for the Monkhouse.
There's a great BBC documentary called, 'Bob Monkhouse the Last Stand'. He did a final gig, when he knew he was dying (but the people there all thought this was part of his comeback after recovering from cancer treatment). He hired a London venue and invited a bunch of professional comedians that he'd worked with or knew - and in many cases younger up-and-coming comedians that he'd often helped or given advice to.
It's mostly footage of the show, which is warm and very funny - it's more him telling stories of the business rather than his normal stand-up. A lot of people didn't rate him, becuase of his gameshow 50s American comic persona - which was safe for family shows on prime time TV. His stand-up was much better.
Jimmy Carr has a similar game-show persona. Although I'm less a fan of his stand-up, it's still good though. But I've heard him interviewed, when not in character, and he came across as a much more interesting and nicer person. He'd written a book on the history of comedy, and it was clearly a subject he loved and was passionate about, and it brought out a whole different side of him than you see as a viewer.
One of the stories Bob Monkhouse told was when Frank Sinatra was booked to sing at an event in London, and BM was part of the show and organising group. Well, Frank was 'missing', but known to be in a hotel room with a well known actress. He and others were waiting outside to get Frank to the rehearsal on time, but Frank and the lady were 'busy'. Eventually the others gave up but BM stayed and eventually knocked on the door.
Well, Frank was very angry and decked BM, then returned to the room.
Anyway it seemed Frank did not need much by the way of rehearsal, so come the show, he walked on sang his songs like a true pro, walked off and left. Afterwards one of Frank's 'people' approached BM and gave him a box, claiming it was 'Frank's apology'. It was a gold Rolex.
«Well are you going to be pleased! Latest research has just what you need! A toaster that ensures perfect exterior toast crunchiness to interior fluffiness ratio (a wondrous state we shall heretofore refer to as flunchy). This is achieved with alternate heating and cooling cycles, meaning your breakfast toast can also take 32 minutes.
Glad to be of service.
Share and enjoy!»
And I thought Talkie the Toaster had been unaccountably mislaid in one of Red Dwarf's garbage disposal chutes.
I suppose it could be commercialised along the lines of the Teasmaid which will shuffle the eggs between boiling and tepid water. Set the time for breakfast and the eggs are started and then at appropriate times later the toaster and kettle are switched on. The deluxe version can butter the toast.
I still worry that after a few of the 2 minute boiling phases it's going to be something the size of a goose egg that isn't hard boiled.
Readers wondering who exactly would have enough time to spend half an hour moving an egg from one pan to another at carefully controlled intervals ... should recognize, this is a chance/plausible excuse to design and build a Lego-robot!
As for the 32-minute cooking procedure, just start the robot before your morning shower or bath.
If I have the choice of (a) having an egg the consistency of either a tennis ball or a fresh oyster, or (b) having to wait more than 30 minutes for a breakfast egg – I'd rather take the egg. Now. Not in 30 minutes.
And let's not even start about having to juggle an egg between two different pots for half an hour.
Or, you could keep one of those thermosensitve plastic blocks in the same place you keep your eggs, and have a visual indication of how boiled your egg is.
Too boringly practical?
(https://www.robertdyas.co.uk/tala-colour-changing-egg-timer?srsltid=AfmBOoqQuiXeeIczNecOYaSLhkdRnfA4abT0PTToybd4AQ5Bjn6BIKFq)
Not need to keep eggs in the fridge in EU. We are not forced to use chlorine and other strong disinfect to hide bad method of rearing, so our eggs keep their natural bacteria barriers. And don't need to be taken out of the fridge since they are, usually, not in there in first place. The "pointy end down" does not apply too, for the same reason. Similar with chicken: No chlorine bath here.
Is US the only country needing such procedures? I simply don't know.
Crack egg on the edge of a preheated frying pan containing oil or fat of choice. Pour content of egg into pan. Baste with a spatula or turn over according to taste. Place inside a bap and eat. Bap may optionally be prepared by toasting cheese on to the cut surfaces, possibly augmented with a layer of Marmite.
-A.
A vegetarian version of a MIGHTY Scotch egg then maybe, to mix it up some? Or even an actually vegetarian burning ring of fire Masala omelette ... (from the Lester Post-pub nosh SPB) Yum!
As a cook these days, who the hell is boiling eggs en masse?
Stick them in the steamer for seven minutes and then cool. How rapidly you cool determines how squidgy the yolk is. Boiling water is medieval ;)
The reward for making a great batch of soft boiled eggs is usually having to make another batch and have the boss grumble about it. See also fresh baked bread, pastry and fresh cut fruit.
The table is incomplete and needs to include the times for poached and coddled eggs at a minimum and we need to know more about the toast: how thick is it, how much butter (and what sort) is on it and how long it's in the toaster for.
Honestly, they seem to handing out academic titles to anybody nowadays.
Yours sincerely
Prof H. Helibecnof
Is to put eggs into a pan of cold water and heat gradually to boiling. This allows air trapped in the air sack to escape slowly through the pores in the eggshell and membrane and avoids the messy 'exploding egg' syndrome where you have a half a boiled egg and half a poached egg. I then leave to simmer for about 5 minutes and find the egg(s) perfectly edible. I will not be trying the 32 minute 'recipe' at home. Life is too short for that.
Steam is just as hot as the water that made it
This is wrong, steam is hotter than the water it has just boiled out of: the transition usually isn't at the surface but at the base as the superheated steam bubbles it's way up and out. As you only want around 90°C, you don't really want to produce any steam at all.
Gomez Adams,
Of course soldiers can be toasted! Are you some kind of toast-ist? Bread can live whatever way it wants to - and you shouldn't be trying to dictate its life choices to it! Although, at risk of kink-shaming, I draw the line at fucking marmite! Bleurgh!
Soldiers can be toasted or untoasted, brown or white - sometimes I even butter a floury bap and tear pieces off it to dip in my yolk.
A friend of mine met a guy who likes toasted crumpets with butter, marmite, peanut butter and jam. He should be burned as a heathen!
I'm a relatively recent convert to taking my tea black, so don't feel I have the moral justification to demand everyone else ditch the milk as well. Although I did frequent a lovely chinese restaurant in Brussels that served their green tea in twee Laura Ashley style cups and saucers with sugar and milk provided. And I'm prepared to call that out as plain wrong. Although saying that, green tea ice cream is delicious, so maybe green tea could work with milk too?
Bread is bread... in the borm of toast or not.
On my side of the Channel we don't even have name for the toast soldiers... ( and yes we dip some buttered bread in our "Oeuf à la Coque" )
Since we have the baguette available we use slices of baguette.
And slicing the buttered baguette piece to the right size is always something interesting as it's almost impossible to have slices of the (more or less) same size. Now I can see the advantage of a toast in that specific usage.
I have to upvote the boiled beef... Even if I prefer it grilled.
I survived on it (and various tandooris) when I was in Coventry Polytechnc ( just before it became CovU ), more than 3 decades ago, eating in Priory Hall. (and sleeping there too)
If you want something really barbaric, try the Scandinavian gravlax (or gravad lax)... the real one, not the marinated thing that is using the name.
(the real gravad lax is salmon, marinated with herbs and salt and put in a hole in the ground for several month covered by earth... and then served once unearthed)
Headhunter to be exact. Due to a miscommunication the artist responsible for the video understood "egghunter" on the phone. When the mistake was discovered Front242 said "oh, that idea is cool!".
A minute's silence for Regina Eggbert.
"The video is private" - mus be really horrific!
The last person to watch it is still suffering from shell-shock. Mental health is no yolk and so El Reg were panned for making such an eggshibition of themselves. Although some people say this is just modern wokery and that people shouldn't need to be coddled - and should be more hard boiled and not be so liable to crack under the first sign of pressure. The uneggspurgated video will be available as an easter egg in the next El Reg DVD box set.
In ascending order of danger to life:
It's really quite simple:
1. Fresh eggs are best (still warm from the chooks bum)
2. Otherwise take from fridge an allow to warm up to roughly room temperature say 22°C
3. Using a pointed implemented (eg tip of chefs knife) carefully make a tiny hole at one end.
4. Place eggs into a saucepan of sufficient cold tap water to cover the eggs.
5. Bring to the boil. Allow to boil for exactly three minutes† (purchase a countdown timer from your local Pound shop)
6. Immediately place eggs into cold water.
The French have a fancy way of cooking eggs, as one would expect, in individual ramekins in a Bain Marie viz œufs en cocotte which with a choice of nice additions are rather delicious but definitely in the category of ffaffing about. As it's said, in quite another context, a philosopher tries everything once and preparing this dish occasionally is not too demanding.
1 - the yolk's integrity is apparently greater (more important for poached etc eggs) and tastes better. 2&3 - reduces the likelihood of the eggs cracking during boiling 4,5,6 - ensures the precise "cooking" of the eggs.
† at altitude do adjust (longer times) for the lower atmospheric pressure and consequent lower boiling point. Lose ~3.25°C/1000m.
I hear an air fryer can complete the task in 20 minutes. Ten minutes in preheated air fryer at 250 degrees F (121 degrees C for those outside the USAian universe). Follow that with 10 minutes in an ice bath.
For the latest and greatest use an instapot, as the name suggests it's nearly instant.
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