back to article Eggheads crack the code for the perfect soft boil

Researchers have put computational fluid dynamics software to good use in devising a solution to the age-old problem of the perfect soft-boiled egg. While Brits love to dunk their soldiers (toast cut into strips) in a soft-boiled egg, other nations seem more equivocal about its taste. Nonetheless, ensuring that the white is …

  1. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Mushroom

    In the opinion of this Englishman

    There is little quite as revolting as runny egg white.

    1. cyberdemon Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: In the opinion of this Englishman

      Well, there is Nigel Farage

      1. John Robson Silver badge

        Re: In the opinion of this Englishman

        Now that's a hard fought contest.

        1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

          Re: In the opinion of this Englishman

          Indeed. Though Farage is rarely offered as a breakfast foodstuff.

          1. Groo The Wanderer - A Canuck

            Re: In the opinion of this Englishman

            Thank goodness! Can you imagine the wave of food poising cases the next day?

        2. Czrly

          Re: In the opinion of this Englishman

          No, no. It really isn't. And I'll state that as someone who usually hold *very stringent* requirements for a soft-boiled egg to be judged edible. But you've got to draw a line, somewhere, yeah?

      2. anothercynic Silver badge

        Re: In the opinion of this Englishman

        He's not edible. Egg white still is, even if it's gloopy.

        1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
          Coat

          " Egg white still is, even if it's gloopy."

          Farage OTOH will always be toxic.

          1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

            Re: " Egg white still is, even if it's gloopy."

            Farage OTOH will always be HIGHLY Poisonous

            There fixed it for you.

    2. BenDwire Silver badge

      Re: In the opinion of this Englishman

      My ex used to refer to it as "Hot Snot"

      1. Decay

        Re: In the opinion of this Englishman

        We are still talking about eggs, right?

        1. Czrly

          Re: In the opinion of this Englishman

          The connotations attributed to the adjective, "hot," would imply that a hot fluid was perceptibly warmer than a "tepid", "lukewarm" or "blood-warm" fluid which one might understand to be approximately body-temperature. Conclusively: "hot snot" would be distinct to "tepid snot" in the imaginations of most readers.

          (I do hope I have not offended any reader's imaginations in my synopsis of these English-language facts.)

          1. BenDwire Silver badge

            Re: In the opinion of this Englishman

            At my age I'm definitely more tepid than hot, as my ex would confirm ...

            1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
              Alert

              Re: In the opinion of this Englishman

              @BenDwire

              ...when you were younger, you were a "hot wire"

  2. ArguablyShrugs

    A typo?

    "Research led by Ernesto Di Maio"

    I believe there should be an "y" in there.

    1. Steve Foster
      Joke

      Re: A typo?

      Ah, is Ernesto known to be a home-repair enthusiast? ("diy Maio")

      1. HuBo Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: A typo?

        ... or particularly playful? ("Ernestoy")

  3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Launching any eggs, pre-boiled or otherwise, on an unsuspecting world sounds a bit messy.

    1. HuBo Silver badge
      Windows

      Yeah, I was just super bummed out that Happy eggs 404-ed their so-convenient, fast (compared to 32 Italian minutes!), and tasty pre-boiled offerings ... they did however launch "new" frozen pre-omeletted eggs, that are less messy for an unsuspecting world, yet still hit just as hard, or harder!

    2. Sceptic Tank Silver badge
      Trollface

      A cluck-up

      Shelling the enemy?

    3. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      ...sounds a bit messy.

      I'd have thought it would be eggstreamly messy

  4. Wang Cores

    The puns, they hurt!

    You had a lot of fun with the headline on this one I see.

    1. tony72

      Re: The puns, they hurt!

      You could say they really laid it on.

      1. Steve K

        Re: The puns, they hurt!

        Yes, their array of boild eggs is one for the photo albumen

        1. The commentard formerly known as Mister_C Silver badge

          Re: The puns, they hurt!

          eggshellent puns all white. Good yokes.

    2. spold Silver badge

      Re: The puns, they hurt!

      >>>You had a lot of fun with the headline on this one I see.<<<

      It was quite a scramble to come up with one

      1. Roland6 Silver badge

        Re: The puns, they hurt!

        But I bet they had a cracking time

    3. alain williams Silver badge

      Re: The puns, they hurt!

      How much did they have to shell out for the talent to write them.

    4. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      Re: The puns, they hurt!

      Restaurants adopting this method of preparing eggs may get a mention in the Eggon Ronay Guides

  5. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

    Missing?

    Where is 4-dimensional table result?

    Weight vs heat vs intervals vs total time.

  6. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    FAIL

    "a total duration of 32 minutes"

    Whoa there.

    We're talking about breakfast.

    3 minutes in boiling water and you're done.

    I don't have 30 minutes to wait for an egg.

    1. Mishak Silver badge

      Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

      I was about to say the same - I want it ready when the toast is done!

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

        I want it ready when the toast is done!

        Mishak,

        Well are you going to be pleased! Latest research has just what you need! A toaster that ensures perfect exterior toast crunchiness to interior fluffiness ratio (a wondrous state we shall heretofore refer to as flunchy). This is achieved with alternate heating and cooling cycles, meaning your breakfast toast can also take 32 minutes.

        Glad to be of service.

        Share and enjoy!

        1. Eclectic Man Silver badge
          Happy

          Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

          Up-voted for "flunchy". What a wondrous word. That you, I now have a smile on my face.

          As for boiled eggs, what I want to know is whether the shell and inner membrane of this 'perfectly' boiled egg come off easily or stick to the cooked white. An issue not addressed by this article or the one in the Guardian which I read earlier: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2025/feb/06/scientists-crack-what-they-say-is-the-perfect-way-to-boil-an-egg

          Come on, these things are important!

          1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
            Happy

            Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

            Eclectic Man,

            I'm glad to make you smile with my silly portmanteau word. I was very pleased when I came up with the word flunchy, that kind of silliness makes me happy. Mostly when using it I have been met with derision from my so-called-friends and family. But I still soldier on with it - mainly to annoy them, if truth be told.

            They all laughed at the Wright Brothers' genius too!

            Although, as Sagan said, they also laughed at Bozo the clown.

            1. Eclectic Man Silver badge
              Joke

              Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

              "They all laughed at the Wright Brothers' genius too!"

              The British comedian (who was for a while a joke writer for the great Bob Hope):

              "When I told my friends I wanted to be a comedian, they all laughed.

              They're not laughing now!"

              And, at the end of a stand up gig, to a young lady:

              BM: "Did you understand the jokes?"

              YL: "Some of them."

              BM: "Shame on you! Get thee to a nunnery!"

              1. Eclectic Man Silver badge
                Facepalm

                Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

                D'Oh!!!

                The comedian was Bob Monkhouse.

                And the final line in his joke was:

                "Get thee to a nunnery, or, an old monk house ."

                I must be getting old or something ...

                1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

                  Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

                  Upvote for the Monkhouse.

                  There's a great BBC documentary called, 'Bob Monkhouse the Last Stand'. He did a final gig, when he knew he was dying (but the people there all thought this was part of his comeback after recovering from cancer treatment). He hired a London venue and invited a bunch of professional comedians that he'd worked with or knew - and in many cases younger up-and-coming comedians that he'd often helped or given advice to.

                  It's mostly footage of the show, which is warm and very funny - it's more him telling stories of the business rather than his normal stand-up. A lot of people didn't rate him, becuase of his gameshow 50s American comic persona - which was safe for family shows on prime time TV. His stand-up was much better.

                  Jimmy Carr has a similar game-show persona. Although I'm less a fan of his stand-up, it's still good though. But I've heard him interviewed, when not in character, and he came across as a much more interesting and nicer person. He'd written a book on the history of comedy, and it was clearly a subject he loved and was passionate about, and it brought out a whole different side of him than you see as a viewer.

                  1. that one in the corner Silver badge

                    Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

                    It was a bit of a change, tempering Bob Monkhouse on Golden Shot and then watching The Mr Hell Show.

                    Golden Baby....

                  2. Eclectic Man Silver badge

                    Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

                    One of the stories Bob Monkhouse told was when Frank Sinatra was booked to sing at an event in London, and BM was part of the show and organising group. Well, Frank was 'missing', but known to be in a hotel room with a well known actress. He and others were waiting outside to get Frank to the rehearsal on time, but Frank and the lady were 'busy'. Eventually the others gave up but BM stayed and eventually knocked on the door.

                    Well, Frank was very angry and decked BM, then returned to the room.

                    Anyway it seemed Frank did not need much by the way of rehearsal, so come the show, he walked on sang his songs like a true pro, walked off and left. Afterwards one of Frank's 'people' approached BM and gave him a box, claiming it was 'Frank's apology'. It was a gold Rolex.

          2. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

            Re: "Flunchy"

            Wasn't 'Flunch" a chain of French cheapo restaurants? (Not sure if they still exist or not)

            1. Blue Pumpkin

              Re: "Flunchy"

              It is and they do .... flunch.fr

              Though it must be ~30 years since I went to one - looks like they're thinner on the ground than they used to be - the French wikipedia has more details

        2. spold Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

          Time for an extra breakfast-beer!

        3. Bebu sa Ware
          Windows

          Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

          «Well are you going to be pleased! Latest research has just what you need! A toaster that ensures perfect exterior toast crunchiness to interior fluffiness ratio (a wondrous state we shall heretofore refer to as flunchy). This is achieved with alternate heating and cooling cycles, meaning your breakfast toast can also take 32 minutes.

          Glad to be of service.

          Share and enjoy!»

          And I thought Talkie the Toaster had been unaccountably mislaid in one of Red Dwarf's garbage disposal chutes.

      2. Paul Herber Silver badge

        Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

        The best egg on toast: put the raw egg inside the bread and boil at 101C (974.7F) for 30 minutes in a vacuum, then add at least 3oz of salt (or saltpetre) to taste.

        (Just doing my AI poisoning thing here - nothing to see for humanoids)

        1. Apocalypso - a cheery end to the world
          Boffin

          Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

          That's the recipe for the perfect boiled cow's egg.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

          Serve on inorganic toast, made from groundstone flour.

        3. EarthDog

          Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

          in a vacuum water will boil at room temperature. Or did you mean the appliance?

      3. Dizzy Dwarf

        Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

        After 32 minutes your toast will be charcoal.

        1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

          Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

          Not on low heat. After 32 minutes on low heat the color is right, but harder than ten year old Zwieback. If you ever thought military cookies can be hard, you will learn that they are not.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Hardtack

            *clack clack*

            1. Eclectic Man Silver badge
              Joke

              Re: Hardtack

              Harder than Dwarf bread?

              1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

                Re: Hardtack

                Depends on the contents. With 0% gravel and baked at less than 100°C instead of more than 1000°C a bit difficult.

    2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

      It's seven minutes here for a nice, soft-boiled egg. That is: the egg goes into water that has started to boil. This is the most accurate method for me, but I know some people put the eggs in the water before they start heating it.

      1. Missing Semicolon Silver badge

        Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

        That makes it hard to remove the shell. The high initial temperature pings the membrane off the shell.

        1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

          Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

          Didn't know that, but the eggs get chilled for a minute after boiling, which seems to help with that.

    3. spold Silver badge

      Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

      Sorry I'm late boss, breakfast was ready later than I eggspected.

    4. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

      I suppose it could be commercialised along the lines of the Teasmaid which will shuffle the eggs between boiling and tepid water. Set the time for breakfast and the eggs are started and then at appropriate times later the toaster and kettle are switched on. The deluxe version can butter the toast.

      I still worry that after a few of the 2 minute boiling phases it's going to be something the size of a goose egg that isn't hard boiled.

      1. that one in the corner Silver badge

        Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

        Visions of the Caracticus (sp?) Potts Breakfast Machine from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

    5. An_Old_Dog Silver badge
      Gimp

      Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

      Readers wondering who exactly would have enough time to spend half an hour moving an egg from one pan to another at carefully controlled intervals ... should recognize, this is a chance/plausible excuse to design and build a Lego-robot!

      As for the 32-minute cooking procedure, just start the robot before your morning shower or bath.

      1. MrBanana
        Linux

        Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

        A 32 minute egg boiling contraption should be easy to add into Wallace and Grommet's breakfast procedure.

    6. nonpc

      Re: "a total duration of 32 minutes"

      Adds an olympian element to the old tale of the wife walking into the room, ravishing her husband then walking out. On being asked what that was all about she replied that she was boiling an egg...

  7. goblinski Bronze badge

    Zojirushi figured it out decades ago.

    Come to think of it - they figured out most things important already.

  8. Frank Bitterlich

    Time is of the essence

    If I have the choice of (a) having an egg the consistency of either a tennis ball or a fresh oyster, or (b) having to wait more than 30 minutes for a breakfast egg – I'd rather take the egg. Now. Not in 30 minutes.

    And let's not even start about having to juggle an egg between two different pots for half an hour.

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Re: Time is of the essence

      I'm sure that some Lego Technics and a raspberry pi would solve that. Start it when the alarm goes off, by the time you've finished the three S's (shower, shit & shave) the egg will be perfect.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Or, you could keep one of those thermosensitve plastic blocks in the same place you keep your eggs, and have a visual indication of how boiled your egg is.

    Too boringly practical?

    (https://www.robertdyas.co.uk/tala-colour-changing-egg-timer?srsltid=AfmBOoqQuiXeeIczNecOYaSLhkdRnfA4abT0PTToybd4AQ5Bjn6BIKFq)

    1. Sceptic Tank Silver badge

      Chinese torture

      What, like Lego blocks in you underwear?

    2. that one in the corner Silver badge

      We tried one of those - but quit because it smelt revolting when it got hot! Sulphurous - which is really not a good smell when anywhere near an egg.

  10. ChrisElvidge Silver badge

    Before boiling

    It seems you have to make sure to store your eggs pointy-bit down in the fridge, but remove them from the fridge half an hour before use.

    https://www.sciencefocus.com/science/should-eggs-be-stored-pointed-end-down

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Before boiling

      No need to store in the fridge in the UK/EU.

      That's am American thing due to their bad animal husbandry

    2. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

      Re: Before boiling

      Not need to keep eggs in the fridge in EU. We are not forced to use chlorine and other strong disinfect to hide bad method of rearing, so our eggs keep their natural bacteria barriers. And don't need to be taken out of the fridge since they are, usually, not in there in first place. The "pointy end down" does not apply too, for the same reason. Similar with chicken: No chlorine bath here.

      Is US the only country needing such procedures? I simply don't know.

      1. anothercynic Silver badge

        Re: Before boiling

        In some hot climates you want your eggs not boiling/aging out quickly, so in those climates, the eggs go in the fridge.

        1. Vincent Ballard
          Thumb Up

          Re: Before boiling

          I keep my eggs in the fridge in summer, but not in winter. Same with butter. Where I live, summer temperatures are mid-30s and winter temperatures are low teens.

        2. that one in the corner Silver badge

          Re: Before boiling

          Just needs a cool box, not all the way down to 4 degrees in the fridge.

          When the English Summer sticks its head out, we put the eggs into the cool, windowless, store room. Yes, for both days.

    3. Decay

      Re: Before boiling

      Us Big-Endians refute these malicious self serving "findings" from paid for scientists following their paymasters agendas! Quite obvious paid shills of the Little-Endians!!

      1. Will Godfrey Silver badge
        Alert

        Re: Before boiling

        WHAT!!!

        Are you telling me there are still Little-Endians! I thought they'd all died out attempting to compromise the endien-ness by trying to make perfectly spherical ones.

  11. Tim99 Silver badge

    Delia Smith recipe, modified

    Take large pan of water up to boiling. Add 2 - 4 eggs, simmer for 60 seconds. Turn off heat, put lid on pan. For larger eggs leave for 6 minutes, smaller eggs, leave for 5. Decant hot water from pan, add cold water to cover eggs leave for 30 seconds, serve

    1. captain veg Silver badge

      Re: Delia Smith recipe, modified

      Crack egg on the edge of a preheated frying pan containing oil or fat of choice. Pour content of egg into pan. Baste with a spatula or turn over according to taste. Place inside a bap and eat. Bap may optionally be prepared by toasting cheese on to the cut surfaces, possibly augmented with a layer of Marmite.

      -A.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge
        Angel

        Re: Delia Smith recipe, modified

        Wot - no bacon?

        1. captain veg Silver badge

          Re: Delia Smith recipe, modified

          Sorry. Been veggie for about 40 years. There's a clue in the handle.

          -A.

          1. HuBo Silver badge
            Pint

            Re: Delia Smith recipe, modified

            A vegetarian version of a MIGHTY Scotch egg then maybe, to mix it up some? Or even an actually vegetarian burning ring of fire Masala omelette ... (from the Lester Post-pub nosh SPB) Yum!

          2. Sceptic Tank Silver badge
            Trollface

            Re: Delia Smith recipe, modified

            Ah ok. I assumed you are wheelchair-bound.

      2. Roland6 Silver badge

        Re: Delia Smith recipe, modified

        Trouble with this method is if you want to avoid “bango handa” (*) you have to break the yolk whilst the egg is cooking.

        (*) the action performed when the yolk dribbles out of the bun and down your front…

    2. Nursing A Semi

      Re: Delia Smith recipe, modified

      Or put the eggs into the water when cold, then turn off as soon as it boils, works just the same.

    3. spold Silver badge

      Re: Delia Smith recipe, modified

      Apparently the Nigella Lawson one added a snifter of coke? Seem rather sweet to me.

  12. MonkeyCee

    No cooks involved

    As a cook these days, who the hell is boiling eggs en masse?

    Stick them in the steamer for seven minutes and then cool. How rapidly you cool determines how squidgy the yolk is. Boiling water is medieval ;)

    The reward for making a great batch of soft boiled eggs is usually having to make another batch and have the boss grumble about it. See also fresh baked bread, pastry and fresh cut fruit.

  13. Charlie Clark Silver badge
    Stop

    These amateurs…

    The table is incomplete and needs to include the times for poached and coddled eggs at a minimum and we need to know more about the toast: how thick is it, how much butter (and what sort) is on it and how long it's in the toaster for.

    Honestly, they seem to handing out academic titles to anybody nowadays.

    Yours sincerely

    Prof H. Helibecnof

  14. Eclectic Man Silver badge

    My own method

    Is to put eggs into a pan of cold water and heat gradually to boiling. This allows air trapped in the air sack to escape slowly through the pores in the eggshell and membrane and avoids the messy 'exploding egg' syndrome where you have a half a boiled egg and half a poached egg. I then leave to simmer for about 5 minutes and find the egg(s) perfectly edible. I will not be trying the 32 minute 'recipe' at home. Life is too short for that.

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: My own method

      Haven't you ever come across and egg piercer (or a drawing pin)?

  15. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge

    Faster, faster

    I don't even wait for a pot of water to boil. Steam is just as hot as the water that made it. 1 cm of water, eggs in, put a lid on it, maximum heat until vigorously boiling, then medium heat until time is up.

    1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

      Re: Faster, faster

      At that rate, you might as well stick it in the pressure cooker.

    2. Charlie Clark Silver badge
      FAIL

      Re: Faster, faster

      Steam is just as hot as the water that made it

      This is wrong, steam is hotter than the water it has just boiled out of: the transition usually isn't at the surface but at the base as the superheated steam bubbles it's way up and out. As you only want around 90°C, you don't really want to produce any steam at all.

  16. Gomez Adams

    Toast? What madness is this? Soldiers are not toasted.

    1. captain veg Silver badge

      They most certainly are. And buttered and Marmited.

      -A.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Hold the Marmite. Eggs and Marmite? That's as bad as mixing tea and milk. Possibly worse.

        1. captain veg Silver badge

          Depends on the tea. Milk first, obviously.

          -A.

    2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Gomez Adams,

      Of course soldiers can be toasted! Are you some kind of toast-ist? Bread can live whatever way it wants to - and you shouldn't be trying to dictate its life choices to it! Although, at risk of kink-shaming, I draw the line at fucking marmite! Bleurgh!

      Soldiers can be toasted or untoasted, brown or white - sometimes I even butter a floury bap and tear pieces off it to dip in my yolk.

      A friend of mine met a guy who likes toasted crumpets with butter, marmite, peanut butter and jam. He should be burned as a heathen!

      I'm a relatively recent convert to taking my tea black, so don't feel I have the moral justification to demand everyone else ditch the milk as well. Although I did frequent a lovely chinese restaurant in Brussels that served their green tea in twee Laura Ashley style cups and saucers with sugar and milk provided. And I'm prepared to call that out as plain wrong. Although saying that, green tea ice cream is delicious, so maybe green tea could work with milk too?

      1. Xalran

        Bread is bread... in the borm of toast or not.

        On my side of the Channel we don't even have name for the toast soldiers... ( and yes we dip some buttered bread in our "Oeuf à la Coque" )

        Since we have the baguette available we use slices of baguette.

        And slicing the buttered baguette piece to the right size is always something interesting as it's almost impossible to have slices of the (more or less) same size. Now I can see the advantage of a toast in that specific usage.

        1. Charlie Clark Silver badge
          Mushroom

          And now you realise why we keep the channel between us: what you describe is simply barbaric! You'll be saying you don't boil beef next!

          1. Xalran
            Devil

            I have to upvote the boiled beef... Even if I prefer it grilled.

            I survived on it (and various tandooris) when I was in Coventry Polytechnc ( just before it became CovU ), more than 3 decades ago, eating in Priory Hall. (and sleeping there too)

            If you want something really barbaric, try the Scandinavian gravlax (or gravad lax)... the real one, not the marinated thing that is using the name.

            (the real gravad lax is salmon, marinated with herbs and salt and put in a hole in the ground for several month covered by earth... and then served once unearthed)

            1. that one in the corner Silver badge

              > put in a hole in the ground for several month covered by earth... and then served once unearthed

              Thank you for the image of a pescatarian squirrel.

            2. Roland6 Silver badge

              > If you want something really barbaric, try the Scandinavian gravlax (or gravad lax)...

              How does it compare with Hákarl ?

        2. spold Silver badge

          But I bet you also dip frog's legs in 'em.

  17. PRR Silver badge
    Headmaster

    My mother sez: A fairly large saucepan. Cold tap water. High fire (or best you can do with electric). When it wants to boil-over, turn the fire off and put the lid on. Let set until cool enuff to handle.

    Mother is right.

    1. Sceptic Tank Silver badge
      Trollface

      Fire engines aren't always available in my area. I'll go for electric.

    2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      You don't need a large saucepan but you will want to keep the heat going for a while. Eggs are around 20g, most of which is water and heating that is where most of the energy will go.

      1. Vincent Ballard

        Unless you're using something like quail's eggs, I'm curious about the keyboard layout which allows you to mistype either 60 or 70 as 20. (According to the box of eggs I have in the kitchen, "large" eggs are 63 to 73g, and that particular box averages 66.5g).

        1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

          Oh, I love actually measured data, not guessed. Must have been a perfect Saturday-spin-down-wind-down experience!

        2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

          I was quoting from, an admittedly imperfect, memory because I have actually weighed a few eggs. Can't check at the moment as used the last egg up yesterday for SWMBO's full English…

  18. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

    Eggheads always reming me of Front242

    Headhunter to be exact. Due to a miscommunication the artist responsible for the video understood "egghunter" on the phone. When the mistake was discovered Front242 said "oh, that idea is cool!".

    1. discordian

      Re: Eggheads always reming me of Front242

      Brilliant! I didn't know that. It's interesting that Front 242 actually went along with the idea. The result being, what might be interpreted as, some kind of situationist art statement.

  19. Dan 55 Silver badge

    "Incidentally, The Register has a long history of breaking egg stories."

    A minute's silence for Regina Eggbert.

    1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

      Re: "Incidentally, The Register has a long history of breaking egg stories."

      "The video is private" - mus be really horrific!

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
        Coat

        Re: "Incidentally, The Register has a long history of breaking egg stories."

        "The video is private" - mus be really horrific!

        The last person to watch it is still suffering from shell-shock. Mental health is no yolk and so El Reg were panned for making such an eggshibition of themselves. Although some people say this is just modern wokery and that people shouldn't need to be coddled - and should be more hard boiled and not be so liable to crack under the first sign of pressure. The uneggspurgated video will be available as an easter egg in the next El Reg DVD box set.

  20. Jedit Silver badge
    Joke

    "The Register has a long history of breaking egg stories"

    Can someone please link me to the Reg article on omelettes? I can't find it anywhere, but as per title they claim it exists.

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge
      Mushroom

      Re: "The Register has a long history of breaking egg stories"

      In ascending order of danger to life:

      Tortilla de patatas

      Masala omelette

      1.5 MILLION SCOVILLE masala omelette

  21. Jan 0
    Boffin

    No boiling required!

    "Century eggs"* have wonderfully yummy, runny, yolks and firm "whites", without using raised temperatures.

    * AKA 100 year old eggs.

  22. Bebu sa Ware
    Headmaster

    Way too much fFaffing about...

    It's really quite simple:

    1. Fresh eggs are best (still warm from the chooks bum)

    2. Otherwise take from fridge an allow to warm up to roughly room temperature say 22°C

    3. Using a pointed implemented (eg tip of chefs knife) carefully make a tiny hole at one end.

    4. Place eggs into a saucepan of sufficient cold tap water to cover the eggs.

    5. Bring to the boil. Allow to boil for exactly three minutes† (purchase a countdown timer from your local Pound shop)

    6. Immediately place eggs into cold water.

    The French have a fancy way of cooking eggs, as one would expect, in individual ramekins in a Bain Marie viz œufs en cocotte which with a choice of nice additions are rather delicious but definitely in the category of ffaffing about. As it's said, in quite another context, a philosopher tries everything once and preparing this dish occasionally is not too demanding.

    1 - the yolk's integrity is apparently greater (more important for poached etc eggs) and tastes better. 2&3 - reduces the likelihood of the eggs cracking during boiling 4,5,6 - ensures the precise "cooking" of the eggs.

    † at altitude do adjust (longer times) for the lower atmospheric pressure and consequent lower boiling point. Lose ~3.25°C/1000m.

  23. hayzoos

    modern cooking prevails

    I hear an air fryer can complete the task in 20 minutes. Ten minutes in preheated air fryer at 250 degrees F (121 degrees C for those outside the USAian universe). Follow that with 10 minutes in an ice bath.

    For the latest and greatest use an instapot, as the name suggests it's nearly instant.

  24. EarthDog

    Great job!

    This is the sort of hard boiled news I have come to expect from the Reg. The writing was top notch, not scrambled at all.

  25. aelfheld

    Science!

    This was a taxpayer-funded exercise, wasn't it?

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This...

    ...completely ignores the dunking in cold water to stop the cooking ASAP when you're done boiling. That is the secret. The length of time is irrelevant if you don't dunk in cold water afterwards.

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