back to article Welsh woman fined for flatulence-fueled cyber harassment

Wales has given the world many things – Tom Jones, laverbread, and the equals sign. But one woman from Caernarfon has added weaponized flatulence to the list. Her unorthodox approach to WhatsApp landed her with a community order and fines. The court heard that the 25-year-old stinkerbell, Rhiannon Evans, sent a series of …

  1. IamAProton

    "I would like to feel safe in my home."

    Block the sender?

    Do not play the video?

    Watch them outside of your house and spare us from the 'feel safe at home' BS?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "I would like to feel safe in my home."

      If this is what makes her feel unsafe then she is not ready to become a member of society.

      She is still in the infancy stage if her life and a serious psychological assessment is required.

      As for chief farter in question, she is a complete numpty who's internet access should be removed for a couple of months .

      1. pig

        Re: "I would like to feel safe in my home."

        And you are so confident in your opinion you posted it anonymously.

        1. LBJsPNS Bronze badge

          Re: "I would like to feel safe in my home."

          Non Anonymous post. If her skin is that thin she needs medical help.

        2. NoneSuch Silver badge
          Unhappy

          Re: "I would like to feel safe in my home."

          I keep saying the US is lost after the Great Pumpkin was elected.

          Yet with Brexit, the new online legislation and Terror Act pulling normal citizens aside for no lawyer, no keeping silence interviews, the UK is on the brink themselves.

          1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

            Re: Silence

            The first two phrases you need are "am I free to go?" and "I want a lawyer". If the person asking the questions says you do not have the right to legal representation then he can explain his reasoning to your lawyer. If for some strange reason you waive your right to legal representation you can change your mind. You can still remain silent (or "no comment") but the court (be it a jury or a bench of Magistrates) are entitled to draw an "adverse inference" from a suspect's failure or refusal to answer questions in interview. Even with this change to the law your lawyer is very likely to advice you to remain silent or no comment.

            Most important of all: Do not take legal advice from fools like me on the internet.

            1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

              Re: Silence

              > The first two phrases you need are "am I free to go?" and "I want a lawyer".

              Sounds US-centric.

              > Most important of all: Do not take legal advice from fools like me on the internet.

              True, just like Abraham Lincoln posted yesterday on Twixxer.

              1. Ken G Silver badge
                Trollface

                Re: Silence

                Abraham Lincoln? I thought he was dead. Don't tell me he became a vampire himself?

                1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

                  Re: Silence

                  He never was dead. Do your research with your favourite search engine, and it will confirm: He is not dead.

            2. JustAnotherITPerson

              Re: Silence

              Here in the US, there was a guy that said “I know that I didn’t do it, so why don’t you just give me a lawyer, dog, ‘cause this is not what’s up" but the courts declared that he didn't actually ask for a lawyer because there is no such as a "lawyer dog". Yes, I'm serious.

    2. jospanner Silver badge

      Re: "I would like to feel safe in my home."

      I think there’s more to it than this. The stuff about child visitation should be a clue.

    3. Lazlo Woodbine Silver badge

      Re: "I would like to feel safe in my home."

      Maybe the mention of physical fights should be a clue to the safety comments

      To the victim, the fart videos were a contnuation of aggression.

      Clearly the farter is an unstable person to continue sending the videos after a police warning, would you want someone like that knowing where you live?

      1. Gene Cash Silver badge

        Re: "I would like to feel safe in my home."

        > Clearly the farter is an unstable person to continue sending the videos after a police warning, would you want someone like that knowing where you live?

        So the court order is going to make her forget where he lives?

        1. F. Frederick Skitty Silver badge

          Re: "I would like to feel safe in my home."

          No you bellend, it's going to put her in serious trouble if she breaks the order. As in, straight to prison kind of trouble.

    4. ChoHag Silver badge

      Re: "I would like to feel safe in my home."

      Unfortunately there's little other than a restraining order such as this that you can do in response to someone being a prat. You're not allowed to slap them any more even if they deserve it.

    5. Gene Cash Silver badge

      Re: "I would like to feel safe in my home."

      "Oh my god, she's going to come over and fart me to death!!!!1111oneoneone"

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "I would like to feel safe in my home."

      I have a better idea. Don't send videos of yourself farting to people who didn't ask to see them.

  2. KarMann
    WTF?

    Just, how?!?

    …holding her smartphone camera to her rear end, farting into it while smirking throughout.
    How does that even work? How is she holding it to her bottom, but also visibly smirking in the video? I'm trying to imagine adequate but reasonable contortions to make that happen, and failing. Unless she was wearing this smirk somewhere else??

    1. Loudon D'Arcy
      Coat

      Re: Just, how?!?

      Perhaps her merkin was smirking?

      1. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

        Re: Just, how?!?

        I initially misread that as "murkan" -- c.f. 'Murka! -- c.f. America!

    2. Mentat74
      Coat

      Re: Just, how?!?

      Maybe you could see her cheeks going up ?

    3. Lazlo Woodbine Silver badge

      Re: Just, how?!?

      Smirking isn't just visible, it's aubible - laughter, you've heard of it, right?

      1. LBJsPNS Bronze badge

        Re: Just, how?!?

        smirk

        /smərk/

        verb

        verb: smirk; 3rd person present: smirks; past tense: smirked; past participle: smirked; gerund or present participle: smirking

        smile in an irritatingly smug, conceited, or silly way.

        "he smirked in triumph"

        h

        Similar:

        smile smugly

        simper

        snigger

        leer

        smicker

        smirtle

        noun

        noun: smirk; plural noun: smirks

        a smug, conceited, or silly smile.

        "Gloria pursed her mouth in a self-satisfied smirk"

        1. Lazlo Woodbine Silver badge

          Re: Just, how?!?

          Very clever, but smirking is also usually accompanied by laughter...

          1. cornetman Silver badge

            Re: Just, how?!?

            > Very clever, but smirking is also usually accompanied by laughter...

            No it's not. *Usually*, it is intended to be surreptitious so also making a noise would be self-defeating.

            1. werdsmith Silver badge

              Re: Just, how?!?

              I think someone has smirking mixed up with sniggering, or eating peanut filled chocolate bars as they call it in USA.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Just, how?!?

                > peanut filled chocolate bars

                That would be a bit of a marathon then.

          2. LBJsPNS Bronze badge

            Re: Just, how?!?

            First rule of holes: When you're in one, stop digging.

    4. HuBo Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Just, how?!?

      The ole' vertical smirk?

      1. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

        Re: Just, how?!?

        Upvoted for Vertical Smirk

        I fart in your general direction

    5. Bebu sa Ware
      Coat

      Re: Just, how?!?

      « ...holding her smartphone camera to her rear end, farting into it while smirking throughout.

      How does that even work?»

      My thought exactly.

      All I could imagine was that she had her head thrust well between her legs at the time which, while speaking to some gymnastic athleticism, is rather a case of being hoisted by one's own petard, I would have thought.

      Although as a story I would have kept the dead donkey. The flatulence was quite incidental to the harrassment using a carrier service. I imagine if she were to recite The Tay Bridge Disaster to her victim she would have received a stiff but well deserved custodial sentence. The same delivered in Welsh would deserve the black cap.

      Reminds me of a certain head of state whose lips typically form a rounded sphincter shape prior to his dumping another load of falsehood laced bullshit on his adoring acolytes usually bookended by an insufferably smug smirk.

      1. BartyFartsLast Silver badge

        Re: Just, how?!?

        Hoist by her own Le Pétomane more like

    6. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

      Re: Just, how?!?

      Alimentary my dear Watson. She contorted herself into an appropriate shape. A rectangle perhaps?

      1. PB90210 Silver badge

        Re: Just, how?!?

        A lemon entry, my dear Watson, looks like a smirk

    7. ReggieRegReg

      Re: Just, how?!?

      With flexibility like that she should be making millions on only-fans.

    8. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Just, how?!?

      You are all a bunch of very clever people but how have you all missed the obvious answer?

      I'm guessing she did this on her own. The only way she could possibly do this on her own would be with the use of.... Drum roll.... A Mirror or two mirrors. Hence why she could aim the camera and catch the smirk. If she didn't do it on her own someone else would be charged. I can't be the only one who was curious about what my own arsehole looked like and positioned a mirror on a skirting board.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Just, how?!?

        > I can't be the only one who was curious about what my own arsehole looked like and positioned a mirror on a skirting board.

        I am more than happy to confirm that I have *NEVER* wondered what your arsehole looked like.

  3. Ramblings

    This article feels very daily mail.

    1. Like a badger

      It does, it is. But surely you'll accept that since life first crawled out of a swamp, farting has been hilarious, and the phone adds the vaguest most cyberfartery angle to the story?

      I wonder if they were good, long, noisy, wet farts? Was the quality of them a contributor to the severity of the crime?

      And more importantly, how does this leave the law around intentionally letting off an SBD in a crowded lift? I hope rampant regulation hasn't just made that a criminal offence.

      1. Gene Cash Silver badge

        > cyberfartery

        This guy knows how to get his instant upvotes...

    2. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      You read it. You commented on it. You supported it.

      (Me too, but I accept the negative things that says about me with a little shame but no complaint.)

  4. Di_rhea69

    Donald Trump wannabe?

  5. The Central Scrutinizer Silver badge

    Come on el reg, lift your game.

    1. Like a badger

      If this isn't tickling your fancy there's always Viz.

    2. cyberdemon Silver badge
      IT Angle

      They couldn't resist the opportunity for a few 'explosive' flatulence-based puns, but I agree they parped on about it a bit too long

      Then again, the Reg often has articles about Wind and Biogas, this could come under their unclean energy topic

      And in any case, it is in the erm, buttnotes section.

      .. I'll get me coat

  6. Paul Crawford Silver badge
    Facepalm

    She was also said to be unaware that her actions were illegal

    Even after the police warning?

    Gee, not the brightest bulb in there.

    1. Bebu sa Ware
      Flame

      Gee, not the brightest bulb in there.

      Inescapably given the story I suppose, brought "gas light" to mind but clearly this lamp's flame had been extinguished.

      I believe uncombusted coal gas used to pong a bit.

    2. ChrisElvidge Silver badge

      Even after the police warning?

      The police are not noted for knowing exactly what is or is not legal.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Even after the police warning?

        The police usually avoid getting involved in family disputes despite a large proportion of murders occurring within families. The fact that they have taken an interest here suggests that there may well be a more serious background than usual.

  7. chivo243 Silver badge

    It's Art

    Not Fart! In bad taste, but art in some beholder's eye. Not Larry Flynt bad taste, or was it?

    1. Like a badger

      Re: It's Art

      The fartist is in residence.

  8. Blofeld's Cat
    Coat

    Pythonesque ...

    "I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

    1. LBJsPNS Bronze badge

      Re: Pythonesque ...

      Came here looking for this.

      Was not disappointed.

  9. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

    I thought that weaponised flatulence was a French idea. This Welsh thing seems to be more of a refinement of the idea from farting in someone's general direction, to something more precisely targeted.

  10. lglethal Silver badge
    Meh

    So wait, she deliberately farted on her phone. Something which she then would regularly touch with her hands, and occasionally put up to her face when taking a call?

    The personal hygiene is not strong in this one...

    1. brett_x
    2. Montreal Sean

      It's fine, she had a screen protector.

      Those protect against farticles, right?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Send for

    the FahrtsFuhrer.

  12. heyrick Silver badge

    Evans was later arrested at her home

    Meanwhile, you try getting the rozzers to show up following a burglary...

    [and as for those poor employees that get assaulted by shoplifters, where the hell are the rozzers then?]

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Evans was later arrested at her home

      They just follow up what's low effort.

      A family member reported (to a solicitor, who's notes were available) being harassed and frightened by groups of people that were after her money. The home had records of the visitors trying to get each other 'banned' from visiting.

      Police had no intention of spending a minute on it as it was 'too hard to prove' after the victim (the primary witness) had passed away. I get that they have to prioritise things that might get results, but I would've thought that abusing the elderly and terminally ill into giving you their money might warrant a little engagement.

      I know this is supposed to be a jovial article, but the world does appear to exist just to piss me off.

      1. heyrick Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Evans was later arrested at her home

        "but the world does appear to exist just to piss me off."

        Oh, man, I hammered the upvote so damn hard I'm surprised my phone's screen didn't shatter.

        But, alas, clearly harassing the elderly is okay but fart-messages aren't. Gotcha. I think. What? <shrug>

      2. ReggieRegReg

        Re: Evans was later arrested at her home

        sc--w your family member - there might be someone praying silently 200 yards from an abortion clinic! Hold my donut...

  13. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

    Let it go, let it go,

    can't hold it back any mooooore!

    The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside.

    Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried.

    I don't care what they′re going to say, let the storm rage ooooooon!

    Let it go, let it go, I am one with the wind and sky....

  14. Contrex

    "She was also said to be unaware that her actions were illegal and refuted the prosecution's accusation that the messages were sent with malicious intent."

    I really, really wish people would not use 'refute' (prove to be false) when they mean 'deny' (claim to be false). I suspect Dr Robert Burchfield, Chief Editor of the Oxford Dictionaries, was right when he 'gloomily saw it possible' that the distinction between 'refute' and 'deny' may become even more blurred 'in the next decade or two' (he was speaking in 1980).

  15. TimMaher Silver badge
    Coat

    £199(£247)

    Is that a Welsh pound?

    1. Malcolm Weir

      Re: £199(£247)

      Microsoft Office Excel (which has probably been remained Microsoft AI World Sums, or something) knows about Welsh pounds. See "Format Cells-->Currency-->Symbol"...

  16. Brave Coward

    Strangest story I've read this year

    So fart.

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      Re: Strangest story I've read this year

      We're only just into February

  17. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    Obviously

    Just gassin' with an old acquaintance m'lud.

  18. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    She seems to have made an alimentary error of judgement.

    1. PB90210 Silver badge

      It was OK until she followed through...

  19. JWLong Silver badge

    You Just Can't

    Make this shit up!

  20. Ball boy Silver badge
    Childcatcher

    So this woman, when the urge came upon her, had the wherewithal to drop her trousers, assume the position, set the phone into 'record' mode and line everything up before sending the recording to her nemesis?

    She either has far too much time on her hands - or an exceptionally broad-minded and forgiving employer. I suspect the former: the latter raises many, many more questions than it answers!

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bending over backwards

    How did they know she was smirking throughout? Is she also a contortionist?

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Trumpette

    That's all.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If she can fart at the camera whilst smirking into it...

    ... then she's a contortionist, who doesn't mind getting her face next to her @rsehole whilst letting rip. I bet she could do that as a profitable side-hustle on certain websites.

    Seriously though, if your conduct precipitates a home visit and a warning from the police, you should probably stop doing it, otherwise you are an idiot.

  24. spold Silver badge

    This isn't detailed enough....

    ...we need the blow by blow account.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: This isn't detailed enough....

      ... and a fartually accurate transcripted translation. I hear CSI-oriented AI is great at figuring out the extent to which such "intentional" sonorous exhausts represent playfulness as opposed to aggression these days, which, beyond means, motive, and opportunity, goes to the all important determination of whether criminal intent was involved ... I'm entirely confident that a deep ML analysis of where exactly the sounds were produced, and how, the extent of vibration involved, their rhythm, tempo, rubato, and especially ornamentation, will provide key new insights into this crucial question!

  25. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

    Doesn't anyone think about the phone?

    That abuse of a phone! Such a nightmarish view, such a nightmarish sound, such nightmarish bacteria puffed on it.

    Talk about PTSD... It is currently in a sanatorium, locked so it does not kill itself, drugged so it does not kill itself. No matter how much it got disinfected and tested, it still feels dirty!

  26. Roger Kynaston
    Happy

    Thanks for cheering me up

    OK. The serious side is clear and there are clearly issues which a functioning social services could help prevent from becoming a police issue

    But ... Flatulence, Whatsapp (which is part of the massive wind farm that is Meta) and the contortionist angle make this the perfect Friday read.

    I almost wet myself reading it after all while SHWMBO let rip with a very loud one but didn't record it on her phone.

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      Re: Thanks for cheering me up

      Flatulence, Whatsapp (which is part of the massive wind farm that is Meta)

      FartBook?

      1. Not Yb Bronze badge

        Re: Thanks for cheering me up

        Whatsarse?

        1. Ken Shabby Bronze badge
          Mushroom

          Re: Thanks for cheering me up

          Arsebook?

  27. alcomatt

    Gone with the wind....

  28. BartyFartsLast Silver badge

    Hopefully she didn't follow through with her threats.

    1. Trigun

      Eeeew? lol

  29. DanceMan

    Smartphone? No -- Fartphone

    As to all the contortionist comments, I assume a head to thigh shot, not a closeup of her ass -- simple.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Anther day in the valleys

    Yes, technically NOT in the valleys but.

    Careful with that ciggie!

  31. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    I've just scent you a message.

  32. O'Reg Inalsin

    The plot is hard to follow

    The court heard that the 25-year-old stinkerbell, Rhiannon Evans, sent a series of videos to her boyfriend's former partner of her holding her smartphone camera to her rear end, farting into it while smirking throughout. ..... The court also heard that the relationship between Evans, her partner, and Prytherch came to blows amid disputes over access to child visitation. Evans and her ex had previously been in a relationship for two years.

    Who is Even's ex? Who is Evan's boyfriend? To whom does the child belong?

  33. Trigun

    This whole thing was ridiculous, but the worst part is that instead of the police having a quick word, they arrested the gaseous lady and prosecuted her. To add to that, the judge then went mental with the sentencing. All that for sending fart videos.

    I would be a little more understanding if she'd had some warnings and kept doing it.

    1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

      Homework: Actually read the article.

      1. Trigun

        You're quite right: I missed the "Evans may have even got away with it if she stopped after the resulting police warning." part. I still think the sentence was OTT though, given the crime.

  34. Ken G Silver badge
  35. Judge Dead.

    All she needed to do was claim "she was in fear of", "intimidated by", and suffered flaulance as a result...

    The gassy messages only served to let her aggressor know the harm they caused...

    Did she even have a solicitor..?

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