back to article Googlers asked if they'd like to bury themselves next to Stadia, Chromecast, DropCam

Google's latest round of layoffs is looking a bit different than usual, with the Chocolate Factory offering a buyout to employees in the recently created Platforms & Devices division. The internet goliath confirmed the move to The Register in an email, saying that US employees in the P&D team have the option to leave …

  1. abend0c4 Silver badge

    I think it would be more fitting if they offered staff the opportunity to gradually work less and less frequently and more and more unreliably until they disappeared without any convincing explanation.

    1. gv

      You're not taking my shiny, red stapler!!!

      1. Fr. Ted Crilly Silver badge

        well, I'll just go ahead and let facilities management move your desk into the sub basement... M'kay?

        1. Dostoevsky Bronze badge

          O...Okay, b-but, that's the last straw!

  2. Reiki Shangle
    Coffee/keyboard

    Ad hominem

    1. NoneSuch Silver badge
      Alert

      Re: …

      Non est spes contra tyrannum

      I wish someone would give me a three year package. Would carry me to retirement (and away from the idiocy of work) nicely.

  3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    insisting it was about keeping "the best" on board

    Does this mean they'll refuse some of the volunteers? Otherwise it's the exact converse of what will happen.

    1. IGotOut Silver badge

      Only those from PR and Legal will not be allowed to take redundancy. The actual people that keep the place going will be shown the door.

      1. Charlie Clark Silver badge
        Coat

        You forgot the hairdressers and the telephone sanitisers! You can't run a sinking ship properly without telephone sanitisers!

        Mine's the one with the book with "Don't Panic!" in large, friendly letters on the cover.

  4. pdvr

    There's no dropdown on the form to see who voted for Trump?

  5. DS999 Silver badge

    Buyouts vs layoffs

    Its a terrible tradeoff for the company, because with layoffs you can target the lowest performers and keep your best people. Even though you can't perfectly target the worst you'll get some of them and definitely won't hit any of your best. When you offer buyouts you will likely get the opposite, because your best people can easily get another job that's equal or better, while the worst performers can't be confident they will get a job anything as sweet as their current gig.

    1. Dinanziame Silver badge

      Re: Buyouts vs layoffs

      But maybe the top performers want to stay, and the low performers know they're on the way out anyway

      1. DS999 Silver badge

        Re: Buyouts vs layoffs

        I guess you've never been present to see when a company offers buyouts or early retirement. The best people are the ones who grab at that first.

  6. Bebu sa Ware
    Coat

    Aren't Hardcore Enough?

    Just what no one needs right now... The other tech obscenities following Space Karen's† demented playbook.

    † given his latest penchant for suspect arm strokes the tosser might prefer Karen von Weltraum (presumably Gräfin)

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