Googlers asked if they'd like to bury themselves next to Stadia, Chromecast, DropCam

Google's latest round of layoffs is looking a bit different than usual, with the Chocolate Factory offering a buyout to employees in the recently created Platforms & Devices division. The internet goliath confirmed the move to The Register in an email, saying that US employees in the P&D team have the option to leave …

[abend0c4]

I think it would be more fitting if they offered staff the opportunity to gradually work less and less frequently and more and more unreliably until they disappeared without any convincing explanation.

[gv]

You're not taking my shiny, red stapler!!!

[Fr. Ted Crilly]

well, I'll just go ahead and let facilities management move your desk into the sub basement... M'kay?

[Dostoevsky]

O...Okay, b-but, that's the last straw!

[Reiki Shangle]

…

Ad hominem

[NoneSuch]

Re: …

Non est spes contra tyrannum

I wish someone would give me a three year package. Would carry me to retirement (and away from the idiocy of work) nicely.

[Doctor Syntax]

insisting it was about keeping "the best" on board

Does this mean they'll refuse some of the volunteers? Otherwise it's the exact converse of what will happen.

[IGotOut]

Only those from PR and Legal will not be allowed to take redundancy. The actual people that keep the place going will be shown the door.

[Charlie Clark]

You forgot the hairdressers and the telephone sanitisers! You can't run a sinking ship properly without telephone sanitisers!

Mine's the one with the book with "Don't Panic!" in large, friendly letters on the cover.

[pdvr]

There's no dropdown on the form to see who voted for Trump?

[DS999]

Buyouts vs layoffs

Its a terrible tradeoff for the company, because with layoffs you can target the lowest performers and keep your best people. Even though you can't perfectly target the worst you'll get some of them and definitely won't hit any of your best. When you offer buyouts you will likely get the opposite, because your best people can easily get another job that's equal or better, while the worst performers can't be confident they will get a job anything as sweet as their current gig.

[Dinanziame]

Re: Buyouts vs layoffs

But maybe the top performers want to stay, and the low performers know they're on the way out anyway

[DS999]

Re: Buyouts vs layoffs

I guess you've never been present to see when a company offers buyouts or early retirement. The best people are the ones who grab at that first.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Buyouts vs layoffs

They layoff decisions are usually made so high up in the organization that they don't even really know who is good and who is not. It always seems to be a combination of whoever is making the most money, and then picking names out of a hat. Lots of good folks have been let go here, and lots who suck remain.

[Bebu sa Ware]

Aren't Hardcore Enough?

Just what no one needs right now... The other tech obscenities following Space Karen's† demented playbook.

_{† given his latest penchant for suspect arm strokes the tosser might prefer Karen von Weltraum (presumably Gräfin)}