
Microsoft Experience Center
I'd prefer to go to an actual Circus with real clowns
Microsoft is shuttering its only UK retail store, less than six years after the doors of the Oxford Circus location were first opened to the public. El Reg showed up with the rest of the public back in the halcyon days of 2019 to gawp at Microsoft's attempt to be as cool as Apple over three floors and 22,000 square feet. Less …
I knew it existed. I went there once...only took 5 minutes to get 35% of the way along the queue, but then another two hours and a couple of reboots to get in.
Once I was in and getting the full experience, it's 1 hour tour...and I could tell it was authentic because half way through I had 2 hours 17 minutes remaining. Then about 30 minutes after that they just kicked me out.
The only complaint I had was when I needed to use the gents. They have no toilets there, you have to take a dump in the root of the shop.
Can't say this comes as a surprise. The first I knew of this place existing was after reading this article telling me it's closing down, so doesn't sound like they publicised it too well.
-Upon looking up exactly where it was, I now realise I've walked past the store at least twice without realising it was there...!
Install Linux?
Actually, that would be hilarious if someone sets up a charity to take over the premises and offer help and training to those wishing to divorce from Borkzilla
I'd donate to it, and I'm sure it would be a lot more popular!
A Linux experience shop would be great, but the loads of different doors to get in might put off some customers. The ones that pick the Debian and Ubuntu doors will be ok, the Red Hat and Fedora doors will be round the back with SELinux written on them, the Arch Linux door will be the simplest door, but you'll have to bring your own hinges and door knob and you'll be judged no matter what you bring...for Mint, Devuan, PopOS etc you'll have to go through the Ubuntu / Debian doors, because they're essentially the same, and take the doors leading off the corridor...finally there is the Gentoo door, which is just a picture a door, if you want the Gentoo experience, you have to build it yourself.
For the authentic microsoft experience, they'd have to make sure that their Microsoft Surface tablets show a window that says "Something went wrong" every give minutes. And to make it a more visceral experience, have a coffee bar where you're charged monthly to see the coffee bar, with an extra charge to be able to order some coffees, another charge to be able to have a compulsory cup, another charge for milk, and another for "super stir" which is just stirring but with a special spoon (which costs extra per month to be able to access). The entire process of ordering coffee would not just cost a lot, but would be incredibly complex. Merely asking the staff how to order a coffee will result in an email being sent to your coffee address telling you that they really understand your problem, and would absolutely love to be of the utmost help to you and wishing you a very good day.
No wonder they're shutting it down. It's pointless, embarrassing and nobody cares. Their products aren't exciting. We use them because we have to, and we use them despite their existence, not because of it.
Link: https://zgp.org/~dmarti/linuxmanship/Comes-3096.pdf
I got SERIOUSLY f**ked off with Microsoft in 1998.
In January 1999 I went over 100% to RedHat.....where I remain!
"Microsoft Experience".......please give me a break.....I simply don't need to know........
...........never mind visit some glossy shop populated by people EXACTLY like James Plamondon (see link above).
Good riddance!!
What exactly is left to experience from Microsoft?
A new and innovative form of subscription based spyware, powered by AI?
I'm petty sure everyone knows exactly what Microsoft is, by this point. It's not like they've actually innovated anything useful recently, or, for example, ever.
Same goes for the entire tech industry, frankly.
They had a gaming room on the second floor with about 30 stations in there. Completely free, never had to wait long to get on, and remarkably liberal with the amount of time you could stay on - probably because there was such low awareness. The staff were great at keeping the sometimes boisterous punters under control.
Also there was a very clean toilet upstairs.
Farewell, hidden gaming den!
With Apple just a couple of yards down the road, what did Microsoft have to wow the average customer. The surface PC (27" touch screen that folds down to be a massive drawing tablet), has not been updated in years, no phones. X Box is nothing really special and sold everywhere. So some PCs playing games.
It's not about wowing the customers...it's about giving them the Microsoft experience...like halfway through the tour, they update the tour and you have to start again...and the toilets flushing halfway through you taking a shit because the toilet thinks you're idle...and finally the coffee shop...which is fine if you want one coffee...but if you have a group of 2 or more, for some reason, it works out cheaper to buy a VLK order of coffee with 50 coffees included...even though you only need 4.