Intel Capital next into the chip giant's trebuchet, to be shot as far over the wall as possible

Stricken silicon giant Intel has decided it doesn’t want to be the sole investor in its venture capital operation, so will spin it out for others to plow money into. The x86 titan today announced the intention to separate Intel Capital, its global venture capital arm, into a standalone fund. Intel will remain an “anchor …

[Yet Another Anonymous coward]

In financial news...

A careful analysis by management consultants have determined that the only cost-effective, profitable and solvent part of Intel is the 4th floor lab's tea kitty.

In a dynamic synergy leveraging exercise all other Intel divisions have been sold off leaving only the tea kitty.

At time of writing, the tea kitty contained $4.50 in cash and is valued at $100Bn

[Leedos]

Intel Captial?

Never heard of them. If this is the "arm" of Intel that sold ARM of Intel (XScale) to Marvell, off with there heads!

[Bebu sa Ware]

Vermont Pumpkin Chuckin' Competition?

After they have hurled Intel Capital into the outer darkness I wonder if the now leaner Intel might drag their trebuchet over to Vermont to compete against the other trebuchet teams?

The record for a pumpkin over 2.67kg (5 lbs) is 268m (879ft) but I imagine with the dead weight of a venture capital vehicle and the desired distancing the Intel Trebuchet could better that record.

Trebuchets apparently have names bestowed on them by their constructors. Theirs might have been baptized Itanium. ;)

[An_Old_Dog]

Re: Vermont Pumpkin Chuckin' Competition?

Dunno about the Vermont competition, but I went to an event where they launched things down a 300+ yard range, and people guessed how far they'd fly.

The trebuchet they used was cocked with a full-sized farm tractor, and I saw an HP Laserjet I fly ~200 yards downrange.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Vermont Pumpkin Chuckin' Competition?

> I saw an HP Laserjet I fly ~200 yards downrange.

... with nary a dent or damage, presumably. Heck, if it was a model IV it probably would've still worked afterwards.

The HP's these days might just fall apart on the way to the bucket.

[David Austin]

Stupid question

If Intel Capital really did create $170 billion from a $20 billion investment, and it's not just a creative accounting swizz, *Why on earth would you want to sell it?*

[Yet Another Anonymous coward]

Re: Stupid question

Cos it's the only bit with any value you can sell.

It's why, when I go to fill up the car, I always sell the valuable wheels to pay for the fuel

[IGotOut]

Re: Stupid question

It's creative accounting.

When they say "Value", it just stock manipulation.