back to article NATO's newest member comes out swinging following latest Baltic Sea cable attack

Sweden has committed to sending naval forces into the Baltic Sea following yet another suspected Russian attack on underwater cables in the region. The deployment of three warships and a surveillance airplane from NATO's newest member to assist the bloc's attempts to prevent more subsea cable sabotage marks Sweden's first such …

  1. TimMaher Silver badge
    Pirate

    Kaliningrad

    It’s time Koenigsberg was returned to Prussia.

    Then most of the Baltic could be more easily protected.

    1. Like a badger Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Kaliningrad

      This should flush a decent count of the number of Russian trolls and useful fools.

      1. Notas Badoff

        Re: Kaliningrad

        Please allow for people feeling negative about starting yet another war just for your amusement.

    2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Kaliningrad

      Germany should be returned to the Swedish Empire (not sure which trolls that brings out!)

      1. W.S.Gosset Silver badge

        Re: Kaliningrad

        The Lithuanian Commonwealth would like a word.

        1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          Re: Kaliningrad

          Simple solution:

          1, Divide Germany into East/West halves

          2, Give half to France, half to Poland

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Kaliningrad

            Ooof, you'll be Saar-y that you suggested that!

            And Poland kinda did get a large chunk of what was latterly Germany/Prussia (at the expense of a lot of its own eastern territory).

            There has sadly been a lot of blood shed over borders in Europe over many many years, I'm not so sure that we should joke that much about what is still quite a sensitive subject.

            I'm just glad that, for the most part, the nations of Europe get along peaceably and co-operatively nowadays (Brexit notwithstanding, sadly). And it would be nice, for most of the ordinary decent citizens of Russia, and for the rest of us, if Russia could be a peaceful and friendly neighbour too (I want to add "again" there, but I think that there has always been some not always entirely friendly rivalry/tension between various "Great Powers" historically).

            1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

              Re: Kaliningrad

              >Ooof, you'll be Saar-y that you suggested that!

              This time we give eastern Germany to France and western Germany to Poland - confuse them !

              >There has sadly been a lot of blood shed over borders in Europe over many many years, I'm not so sure that we should joke that much about what is still quite a sensitive subject.

              Fine, we just take Aquitaine and Normandy back.

              1. Paul Herber Silver badge

                Re: Kaliningrad

                and Brittany can become the new Little Britain.

          2. Ganso
            Trollface

            Re: Kaliningrad

            So you want to turn West Germany into a third-world backwater?

  2. beast666 Silver badge

    US Navy

    I wonder if the same actor who destroyed the NordStream 2 pipeline is involved?

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: US Navy

      Mel Gibson ?

      1. beast666 Silver badge

        Re: US Navy

        We like Mel Gibson. He notices.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: US Navy

        Now if they'd said "bad actor" my automatic response would be Steven Seagal

        1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          Re: US Navy

          But he actually did it, so it's not as funny

        2. Philo T Farnsworth Silver badge

          Re: US Navy

          Bad actor? William Shatner has an iron clad alibi.

        3. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
          Happy

          Re: US Navy

          Not Steven Seagal. Surely in this case it would be Chuck Norris.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: US Navy

        Chuck Norris

    2. Casca Silver badge

      Re: US Navy

      You really should connect the brain when you post.

    3. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: US Navy

      beast666,

      You need to get your conspiracy theories right.

      Even Noam Chomsky said it was only naughty Joe Biden persuading the Norwegians to do it for them. With, if I recall my conspiracy theories correctly, a ship that happened to be in dry-dock at the time.

      Anyway the spicier conspiracy theory - which actually has some small amount of evidence to back it up, is that Ukrainian military intelligence did it. With a Ukrainian having hired a sailing yacht in Poland - that was just about big enough for the diving kit needed - though not enough for the required safety kit in case something went wrong.

      The only evidence for this was leaks from the German investigation, that they were looking into it, but nobody's investigations into Nordstream II seem to have come up with anything concrete, at least that they're publicly admitting - there's just been a few leaks.

      The pipeline wasn't running, and didn't look likely to start up, so my judgement is that the risk wasn't worth it for Ukraine to have done it. But I wouldn't bet my house on it not having been them... In my opinion, one of the consequences of the invasion of Ukraine is that GUR (Ukrainian military intelligence) has used the war to clear out most (if not all) of the Russian sleepers and to get good. They're something similar to Mossad now - and when this war ends the Russians are going to continue to regret helping to create this threat on their doorstep. Because they're going to use the same "grey zone" tactics as Russia - but they appear to be a lot more competent than Russia's GRU. They also live in a higher threat environment than Western intel agencies, plus they've been invaded, so they've got fewer scruples. But that could also have the effect of allowing other Western intel agencies to contract out naughty jobs to them - that their own parliaments wouldn't approve. "Oh we're just giving support and training to GUR - we didn't realise they were going to do that!" [shocked face]

      1. Zolko Silver badge

        Re: US Navy

        Even Noam Chomsky said ...

        Please get your informations correct : it was Seymour Hersch that unveiled the method that USA used to destroy North-Stream. And according to him the Norwegian marine only played a minor role in the plot. Seymour Hersch is (was) a world renowned journalist, while Noam Chomsky is a world renowned writer who doesn't know anything more about NATO than you or me.

        1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

          Re: US Navy

          Zolko,

          You're correct. My apologies for getting my conspiracies mixed up. Seymour Hersch is the once-respected journalist who's descended into conspiratorial lunacy (like John Pilger over here in Blighty) - and Chomsky is the linguist who minors in conspiracies and how the US are at fault for everything, except for the slaughter in Cambodia because that didn't happen...

          1. mcswell Bronze badge

            Re: US Navy

            I don't know zilch about Hersch, but I am a linguist who respects Chomsky as a linguist--but not beyond. In other words, I agree with your description of him.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: US Navy

              "I don't know zilch about Hersch"

              You don't know zilch about Hersch? Or you meant to say you know zilch about Hersch?

              1. Bebu sa Ware Silver badge
                Coat

                Re: US Navy

                «"I don't know zilch about Hersch"

                You don't know zilch about Hersch? Or you meant to say you know zilch about Hersch?»

                I actually parsed this as "I don't [even] know zilch about ..."

                Zilch being defined as near nothing as makes no difference but isn't common in all Englishes which might lead the reader to substitute something like 'shit' based on the context and the idiom "I don't know shit about..."

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Shame

    Shame if in the middle of the night those anchor dragging ships happened to sink...

    1. IGotOut Silver badge

      Re: Shame

      Sinking an oil taker in the fragile artic region is not a good idea. Besides, they can sell the tanker off as compensation.

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Shame

        Obviously you would tow it outside the environment first

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Shame

          I don't think even Musk or Bezos boosters are big enough to launch a sea going tanker out of the environment yet :-)

        2. Andy Mac

          Re: Shame

          But only if the front fell off.

          1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: Shame

            Being a Russian ship it probably was made of cardboard derivatives

            1. Graham Dawson

              Re: Shame

              I'm sure it had the minimum crew complement, however.

              1. EvilDrSmith Silver badge

                Re: Shame

                Remind me, what is the minimum crew complement?

                1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

                  Re: Shame

                  Oh, one I suppose

      2. David Hicklin Silver badge

        Re: Shame

        > they can sell the tanker off as compensation.

        Have you read about the state if that tanker? Its a floating scrapyard by all accounts

      3. mcswell Bronze badge

        Re: Shame

        Sinking it is an act of war; selling it off is an act of piracy. I wish there were a better way, like grabbing them by the anchor chain.

        BTW, I doubt that these cables were damaged by simply dragging an anchor across them. While that's certainly possible, the Chinese have patented anchor-cutting tools that can be dragged much more easily and which cut cables more effectively. Pull one of those up by the chain and then you have real evidence that can be taken to an international tribunal, or dropped on the floor of the UN. Literally.

    2. Paul Herber Silver badge

      Re: Shame

      Russian goons have reported that it has fallen in the water.

    3. Wang Cores Silver badge

      Re: Shame

      I imagine Swede coastal rangers doing a touch of "Crew Expendable" from the original Modern Warfare and reversing the vessel's course back to Russia minus crew component would be effective.

      Not for the leadership, mind. Big Guys never worry about the Little People getting squished, but feeding a superstition of a "ship that returned" might spook Russian mariners into playing nice when outside of the motherland.

  4. HuBo Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    One more member

    Good going Sweden! Can't wait for the Republic of Ukraine to also join NATO ... They've demonstrated that they can fight damn hard (even outnumbered 3.5 to 1) and have unique expertise in how to keep the Kremlin and its shenanigans at bay. They'll be a perfect new member!

  5. Kev99

    Maybe someone can get their hands on a Kilo class sub and dissuade the surface ships from anchor dragging.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Doesn't Sweden operate those silent liquid oxygen powered subs that could sneak up on USN aircraft carriers ?

      1. Bill Gray Silver badge

        Huh! Hadn't heard about that. (For other curious commentards, Wikipædia article on Swedish subs powered by Stirling engines.)

      2. Spazturtle Silver badge

        Not quite, in that war game they already knew the route of the US carrier group, so they just sat in wait. The main noise from a sub comes from it's propellor.

        1. Casca Silver badge

          Not a problem in the Baltic. The depth layers is on a whole other level than the deep oceans.

        2. Elongated Muskrat Silver badge

          Reading that wiki article linked above is quite enlightening. It seems they have slow-turning props to avoid cavitation. How fast they can move when "slow turning" is anyone's guess though.

          Since they're quiet enough to creep up on US aircraft carriers in naval exercises, I reckon they'd not have much of an issue with a Russian floating shit-heap trawler that has been retrofitted for grey ops.

          Come to think of it, didn't a rusty old Russian tanker recently have a "fire in the engine room" and sink in the Baltic?

          1. mcswell Bronze badge

            The Med.

            1. Elongated Muskrat Silver badge

              I was thinking of the Russian tanker that recently sank in the Black Sea (not Baltic, my mistake) spilling 4,000 tonnes of heavy oil into the already poisoned environment there.

              The one you're thinking of was a "cargo ship" that was suspected of being a military transport in disguise.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Captain, captain!

    You’ve left the parking brake on again.

    1. JWLong Silver badge

      Re: Captain, captain!

      There are actual parking brakes(shaft locks) on large ships.

      During Vietnam we (USS Midway) burned up #2 main shaft parking brake and thrust bearing in port when some knob engaged the jacking gear without disengaging the brake first.

      The purpose of the jacking gear is to get the lube oil going in the main reduction gears and shaft carrier bearings before making turns(turning the shaft under power).

      It did some major damage to the thrust block under power at sea and caused the shaft to move forward and screw up the reduction gears.

      Not Good!

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Captain, captain!

        "The purpose of the jacking gear is to get the lube oil going in the main reduction gears and shaft carrier bearings before making turns(turning the shaft under power)."

        Disgusting.... pure filth...!

  7. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
  8. Softsuits

    Sweating Swedes in their rock Saunas

    I'd not question the use of a bit of judicious wack a mole. It's just bad business to act sliim and shady in shared territorial waters with a smidge of steerage. The ports in the Pacific are open to Russia and ice free down by North Korea. Just sayin.

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