back to article Pastor's divine 'dream' crypto scheme indicted by Uncle Sam

A man of God is in the sin bin with Uncle Sam's prosecutors over a cryptocurrency investment business that he claims came to him in a dream. According to an indictment announced by US Attorney Vanessa Waldref, 51-year-old pastor-turned-crypto guru Francier Obando Pinillo of Miami, Florida, has been charged with 26 counts of …

  1. KittenHuffer Silver badge
    Facepalm

    When running a Ponzi scheme ....

    .... you have to know when to stop scheming and start running!

    Cos at some point someone IS going to figure out what you're doing. And if you are still around at that time then the long arm of the law will eventually catch up with you. You have to pick the right time to take your ill gotten gains and disappear into the wind.

    ------------> Hanging around for just a bit more is what turns smart criminals into dumb jailbirds!

    1. Andy Non Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: When running a Ponzi scheme ....

      Maybe he was hoping to launder his ill gotten gains, or at least pastorise them.

      1. KittenHuffer Silver badge

        Re: When running a Ponzi scheme ....

        Unfortunately, he was in the business of washing people's souls ..... not their money!

        1. Someone Else Silver badge

          Re: When running a Ponzi scheme ....

          ..or at least their brains...

        2. MachDiamond Silver badge

          Re: When running a Ponzi scheme ....

          "Unfortunately, he was in the business of washing people's souls ..... not their money!"

          What? you haven't seen the "megachurches" in the US and what they bring in?

    2. Herring` Silver badge

      Re: When running a Ponzi scheme ....

      I guess you need to know when to hold. Know when to fold. Know when to walk away. Know when to run,

    3. Sceptic Tank Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: When running a Ponzi scheme ....

      Shouldn't that be dumb criminals turning into smart jailbirds. I.e. "I was dumb to be so greedy but now I've learned my lesson and I've had lots of jail time to think things over".

      =======> 20/20 hindsight.

  2. Andy Non Silver badge
    Coat

    " launch his own cryptocurrency"

    Give it up, the idea is dead and buried.

    1. KittenHuffer Silver badge

      Re: " launch his own cryptocurrency"

      Crypto is not dead ..... it just smells that way!

    2. Mentat74
      Trollface

      Re: " launch his own cryptocurrency"

      Don't worry... it will be probably be resurrected in 3 days...

      1. KittenHuffer Silver badge

        Re: " launch his own cryptocurrency"

        Jesus! I thought that sort of thing only happened at Easter!

    3. ravenviz Silver badge

      Re: " launch his own cryptocurrency"

      It’ll probably be rubbish!

  3. chivo243 Silver badge
    Coat

    Church of the New Coin

    Hear me Brothers and Sisters, the lord has come to me and he sayeth, "my church is poor, and is need of much support, please go home and install this little app in the name of Jesus! It will run in the background, and the church will get the much needed support it so desperately needs, can I get an Amen!

    Yes, my robe with the holy usb drive of profit!

  4. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

    BitCoin drive

    1) Hire a few sappers.

    2) Dig a tunnel.

    3) ???

    4) Profit!

    1. KittenHuffer Silver badge

      Re: BitCoin drive

      Quick! Call Angus Lennie!

    2. Bebu sa Ware
      Coat

      Re: BitCoin drive

      If I were the Newport council I would have allowed Howells to dig (by himself) with a standard (council provided) shovel during the usual dump opening hours, subject to his agreeing to and signing a comprehensive disclaimer. Can't get fairer than that.

      Either the bloke is a complete looloo or more likely he convinced a number of slightly more deluded souls to "invest" in this hopeless project.

  5. heyrick Silver badge
    Happy

    launch his own cryptocurrency

    I should take this opportunity to announce that I have created my own currently: FUC, standing for Fully Universal Credit.

    It might be a bit hard to give a FUC at the moment as it's a brand new currency and vendors might not want to give a FUC in return, but in time people will see the advantage of FUCing and soon enough we'll all be FUCed.

    1. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: launch his own cryptocurrency

      "and soon enough we'll all be FUCed."

      Elon, I thought you were calling it "X". Is this a new venture?

  6. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Following the link about setting up his own currency there's a line from the judgement: "During the hearing, the judge himself stated it was his belief that the council owned the physical hard drive but that I am the owner of the Bitcoin,"

    It seems his proposal is to set up a scheme that's backed up by the Bitcoin he owns but has no access to. I suppose most people might see a few flaws in that but this being crypto it's not likely to be a problem for him.

    1. FrogsAndChips Silver badge

      "In the old days, gold bars would be held in a vault and the notes traded in public would represent the value held in the vault. I could use the Bitcoin as backing, like a financial vault, and create a new currency - let's imagine it's called James Coin - which would replicate one for one the assets in the Bitcoin wallet."

      I'm not a finance expert, but isn't the idea of a vault, that someone can actually access and retrieve its contents at any time? And wasn't the gold standard abandoned like 50 years ago?

      But nevermind, I'm sure he will find enough suckers (cf first story in the article) to make a nice profit.

      1. MachDiamond Silver badge

        "And wasn't the gold standard abandoned like 50 years ago?"

        Yes and no. For the masses, yes. Notice how many governments are buying and storing up gold? Repatriating gold they've stored outside of the country.

        I have more silver than gold as it's much more useful as a medium of exchange. Unless a sack of flour gets realllly expensive, people aren't going to be able to make change on an ounce of gold tendered as payment. Silver is also still widely used in industry where the use of gold as a material isn't what it used to be.

      2. doublelayer Silver badge

        To be entirely fair to him, he's only an idiot on the first point, namely that a vault that nobody can open and may not exist is not at all useful. Not being on the gold standard doesn't prevent you from making an investment based on an openable vault containing gold, and there are several places that do exactly that. It just means that you wouldn't be able to exchange your government-issued cash for gold at a fixed rate. There are many types of investments that base their value on a specific location containing things of value. While people generally want it, shares of the investment change in price. If people all decide they don't want it, someone is going to have to go in there and take some of the stuff out so it can be sold.

    2. Steve K
      WTF?

      Russell's Teapot?

      It's only his word that says he had the key on that drive (and that the drive ever existed).

      On an unrelated note, I am now offering fractional ownership of Russell's teapot to those who would like to invest.

  7. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

    General Advice

    Do not entrust your wealth, in whatever form, to someone who has, in Dungeons-and-Dragons terms, made wisdom their "dump stat."

  8. Bebu sa Ware
    Facepalm

    "fraudsters take money from hardworking, honest people,"

    expecting 34.9% return pcm (~420% pa) one might append greedy or question the applicability of "honest."

    Really this Ponzi scheme is one tiny eddy in the maelstrom of the crypto Ponzi scam.

  9. Winkypop Silver badge
    Devil

    If you believe in an all-knowing invisible sky daddy, then…

    Have I got a Ponzi scheme to sell you!

  10. osxtra

    It's Elemental

    Well, let's see. An almost dozen year old flash drive, sitting in a mound of decomposing who-knows-what, at almost certainly elevated temperature due to said decomposition.

    Even if this guy found the drive, do you think it'd still be readable?

    I'd say let him look. By hand. With a trowel. And a full release for anything that may happen to him while in there.

    Being trash, of course (as he ostensibly threw the drive away), once the item is found he'd also need to pay a most likely quite hefty salvage fee to the landfill owners, before he even knows if the data on it is still recoverable.

    1. MonsieurAardvark

      Re: It's Elemental

      I believe this is an actual spinning rust drive...

  11. Sceptic Tank Silver badge
    Devil

    I have a Job to do

    For a while there the preacher man gave the congregation some prophets profits they could truly believe in.

    Anyway, can somebody explain to James Howells that "crypto mining" is not done with a shovel in a landfill?

  12. Sceptic Tank Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Bitcon mine! Mine!

    James owns the coin, council owns the drive? So if I drop a brown envelope and someone picks it up, they now own the envelope but the cash is still mine?

    (Possibly not a 1:1 comparison, but close enough).

  13. Sceptic Tank Silver badge
    Happy

    Invest in property

    I really should be working but this story with the buried treasure intrigues me. (One man's trash is another man's treasure, as they say).

    Anyway, here's what I would do if I were Howells: wait for the landfill to become the landfull. At that point it will probably be covered up and plots sold for housing development. Buy the plot over the area where you think your drive is and start digging. Probably ain't no one goanna tell you, you can't dig a hole in your backyard?

    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge
      Mushroom

      Re: Invest in property

      Probably ain't no one goanna tell you, you can't dig a hole in your backyard?

      Icon is the expected end result once he digs down below the containment layer. Followed by mass-evacuation of the neighbourhood

      (*Lots* of nasty chemicals in a well-rotted landfill! There's a reason why they have lots of vent pipes, even when covered over..)

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