Re: if it's anything like his ability to run a car company...
I'd be happy to take the USA back into the UK on the following conditions - we won't accept them back until met though:
1. No more of this "states" nonsense - you're one big country, behave like it
2. All guns must be surrendered immediately. Permits may be applied for on the British system after suitable investigations are made by the police, as in the UK
3. Back taxes due with interest since 1774 to be paid in full.
4. Adopt the metric system immediately (except where the UK doesn't use it)
5. You may keep your law system as it's similar to the UK however Judges must now be appointed in the UK style by a panel of senior Judges rather than elected.
6. The US may have a devolved parliament with existing chambers however the UK parliament to have precedence.
7. Laws to be harmonised where they severely differ from UK law within 20 years
8. US constitution to be abandoned - unwritten constitutions and precedence are clearly superior as demonstrated in the British model
9. Capital city to be moved from Washington DC to New York. Public buildings in Washington DC to be turned into free museums explaining how wrong America was about the revolution, patriotism, American Exceptionalism etc.
10. English spellings to be adopted everywhere.
11. A billion will become a million million not a thousand million
12. Financial year to be harmonised with UK dates. No more of this September nonsense.
13. All police to be disarmed immediately except for SWAT teams which will operate on the UK model
14. British school curriculum to be imposed. British history to be taught.
15. British food culture to be imposed (tea, curry, beans on toast, kebabs etc)
16. "Football" to be renamed to "American Football" and replaced with proper Football on TV. Baseball to be retained but renamed "American Rounders" - "world series" to be renamed "North American premier league of American Rounders".
17. Freeview TV to be made available to all Americans
18. All internet service providers to sell their networks to OpenReach and rent the connections back. Single-area monopolies of ISPs to be abolished
19. US healthcare system to be nationalised and made part of NHS
20. The role of President to be abolished - the First Minister of the USA can be the leader of the largest party in the House of Representatives.