Re: They don't make 'em like they used to
"so worn and overtaken by the jungle"
Sounds like my daft old man on his allotment. He's a relic you'll regularly find in a jungle...
He had me moving ancient oil soaked railway sleepers with concrete stuck to them a few weeks back, 100kg each easy, fucking soul destroying bastards to shift...pretty sure I now know what it was like to build the pyramids now. In fact, it was probably easier then because I doubt they had old Mancs 'motivating' them along with general insults like "when I was your age, I'd have been able to carry that on the end my dick", "A break? Get off your arse you fanny!", "It's only wood, just fucking shift it, 12 more to go", "Me? Help? Look at me, I'm already old and fucked. Ask Bill over there...'Bill, what am I?' 'Bill: Old and fucked' See? Here Bill, come and look at this...'Bill: Yeah at his age, I'd have carried that on the end of my dick, if WW3 breaks out we're fucked'...that's what I said!".
I got it done, and my reward at the end was taking him for a beer..."Thanks for the help lad, it's your round isn't it?".
Should ship him to Russia to speak to Putin...Putin would be crying within the hour I'm sure...he already has a repertoire he can call on that he uses whenever he sees Putin on the TV..."Look at his fucking tiny hands, that c*nt couldn't build a sandcastle" and "he looks like the kind of thing a toddler would make if you gave them a couple of teaspoons, pipe cleaners and some playdough"..."I've seen harder bastards presenting on the BBC".