back to article Google's ex-CEO U-turns after saying staff 'going home early' killed winning

Eric Schmidt, Google's ex-CEO and executive chairman has had to row back on remarks he made that linked the megacorp's poor showing in the AI race with the company's flexible working policies. Stanford Online uploaded a video of Schmidt's talk to students at the top US university to YouTube earlier this week, as reported by …

  1. GoneFission
    Devil

    From a corporate perspective, it makes perfect sense to blame "lazy labor" for your project and financial shortcomings. It's clearly not an issue of incompetent management, understaffing, unreasonable expectations or competitors with an unrelated edge; those can't be re-packaged as failures of personal responsibility that the employees themselves have to address through discipline, introspection and a 30% off coupon for time management & productivity courses they can take in their spare time.

    Because your employer cares about you, and you should care about yourself as much as they do. That the aforementioned coupon is only valid to a service provider your employer has an under-the-table business relationship with is unrelated, this is about what _you_ can bring to the table, and what _you_ can do to be a better person for the company. Maybe see your kids a bit less often. Maybe work a few extra hours every weekend. It's really you that is holding us back from success, and that's not very fair, is it?

    1. Snake Silver badge

      Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

      If it's good it is because of me.

      If it's bad it is because of you.

      Narcissistic Me-generation politics has penetrated the board room.

      1. Khaptain Silver badge

        Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

        "Narcissistic Me-generation politics has penetrated the board room."

        Nah, I'm Gen-X ,and that has always existed...

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

          Totally.

          Can confirm, I'm one of those supposedly lazy, workshy, thick as pig shit millennials people like to moan about....and when I've bothered to turn up and been alert enough to pay attention, I've had someone point this out and explain it to me.

        2. Alan Brown Silver badge

          Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

          I'm Gen-X and that's what we used to call Boomers

      2. Alistair
        Windows

        Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

        Uhhhh, Snake, That happened back in the 80's man, its been there all along, curled up under the boardroom table snacking on the occasional intern-mouse that accidentally wanders in off-hours to wipe down the CEO's boardroom chair. Its just getting fatter and fatter every year. Eventually it will end up swallowing several Board members.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

          Eventually it will end up swallowing several Board members.

          If I were a shareholder, THAT's where I would use AI to replace people. The net saving would be enormous..

          1. Shalghar Bronze badge

            Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

            Just be "green", replace each useless CEO with a pottet plant.

            For "CO2" reasons, etc.

            1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

              Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

              "Pottet"

              No idea. But I want one.

          2. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

            Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

            If i was a shareholder i would be asking why geniuses like Eric created duplicate services by the dozens.

            So Eric why did Google create dozens of messenger systems ?

            1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

              Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

              There's a sentiment in some parts that Schmidt peaked with lex.

              To a first approximation, Google brought him in to be the heavy as Page and Brin were increasingly withdrawing into their own interests, though Page took the reins back about a decade later (and then handed them off to Pichai in 2019). The product churn is at least as much due to Page as to Schmidt, and post-2019 is on Pichai's watch.

              But Schmidt has long been noted for his "fuck you" attitude. Remember his 2009 dismissal of personal privacy?

              1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

                Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

                What makes you think Eric is the "brains" behind Lex and not Mike ?

              2. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

                Is this the same Eric Schmidt that failed at Novell? What was his excuse then?

                1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

                  Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

                  Is this the same Eric Schmidt that failed at Novell? What was his excuse then?

                  Lazy employees probably.

                  To (mis)quote Techdirt: he's an upwardly failing techbro..

      3. Zibob Silver badge

        Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

        As opposed to what ever clearly above narcissistic generation you are from that never ever had these issues?

        Funny how putting all the blame on "not my generation" also comes across as narcissistic.

        1. Snake Silver badge

          Re: generational narcissism

          I'm Gen-X and there's a reason for the "OK Boomer" meme :p lol Sure it was present by the '80's...they did a very good job even by then, didn't they? They're the ones who destroyed corporate loyalty reciprocity - it's only about [their] company now, they feel they don't owe you a thing.

      4. Woodnag

        Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

        "The reason startups work is because the people work like hell."

        The motivation is the reward if the startup exits successfully.

        Google isn't a startup, and it lays people off. Loyalty and motivation work both ways.

        1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

          They probably don't have long commutes into offices, not multiple layers of manglement above them.

          1. Brad Ackerman
            Holmes

            Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

            And the best startups tend to be fully remote — even the hardware ones.

            1. MachDiamond Silver badge

              Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

              "And the best startups tend to be fully remote — even the hardware ones."

              I was working with one (manglement F'd it up) that was hardware and remote.

              A lot of what people were doing were tasks that took time and didn't need a shop full of people to accomplish. For many things, I have better facilities at home than any company I've worked with had. I've been an electro-mechanical nerd for a fair lifetime to this point. I've also not been constrained by having to buy new or modern. My inventory of power resistors (>1W) came from an estate sale in several good size boxes. That was $50 very well spent since I don't think since the years since then I've spent more than $20 ordering something I've needed and didn't already have (for prototyping, etc. Production might be a different story).

              We assembled en-masse as required and if the project ever got to a full up demo product, we would have needed to spend more time in one place as this was a big piece of kit. By working remotely, we saved loads of money. The inventor and lead engineer lived in Silicon Valley. To base the business there and pay everybody wages to live in the area at a level we all lived elsewhere would have been a big drain on investor cash.

              A small team all focused on their own work in pursuit of a common goal with rewards at the end doesn't require managers physically wandering around an office and "checking up" on everybody. Peer pressure and a bit of pride in not being the one holding up everybody else gets the job done.

          2. I am the liquor

            Re: multiple layers of manglement above them

            not multiple layers of manglement above them.

            I think this is a far bigger advantage for startups than the hours people work.

        2. Joe W Silver badge

          Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

          "Loyalty and motivation work both ways."

          my current work place will learn that the hard way in the next months...

          1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

            Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

            "my current work place will learn that the hard way"

            They won't though. They never do.

        3. Michael Strorm Silver badge

          Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

          Bingo. All these bosses lecturing their own employees on working stupidly long hours and sacrificing any work-life balance in favour of the company because they did forget all that.

          They might have done so for *their own* startups, but that's because they were workaholics who made that choice for themselves, knew there was a huge prospect for growth and that they'd get very rich if they succeeded... because they had a huge stake in the company.

          None of that applies to salaried employees working for a long-established company that hasn't been a "startup" for over two decades. They won't be rewarded for working harder and they're likely not being given a significant stake- if any- in the success of the company they're working for.

          If you want expect "driven"/workaholic types- similar to the person you once were and happy to work under "startup" conditions- you'd better be prepared to offer them the same potential rewards. Which, of course, you probably won't because you're not a startup and those people will be working for an actual startup.

          It reminds me very much of a recent story about a similarly- if not more- insufferable and self-serving prick who wants his employees to work 70 hours a week and claimed that *he* worked 20 hours a day, 7 days a week. (And if you believe that, you'll believe anything).

      5. disgruntled yank Silver badge

        Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

        Henry Clay Frick was a baby boomer?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Yep yep, the priviledged attitude

          +1 for the reference

    2. Groo The Wanderer

      From a CEO's perspective, it's important to blame everyone but yourself and paint the situation as you personally being responsible for what profits were earned so that the voting shares grant you a nice, fat bonus for your "performance." (And what an act of fantasy that performance usually is!)

      1. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

        Even more important is how gracefully you refuse to take responsibility for the things for which you are self-evidently responsible, which turn out in retrospect to have been mistakes.

        "I misspoke." Bullshit. You said something which did not articulate your actual thoughts, huh? Then why was what you said a cogent series of arguments? You explained your point of view very clearly. It turns out the point of view happens to be odious.

        You've been caught being an honest, if self-absorbed and out-of-touch billionaire, so naturally you "regret your error." Please tell us exactly, what is the error you regret?

      2. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

        If the ceos are so smart, why do they keep hiring the people they blame for failure ?

    3. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      I'm fairly sure my employer never cared about me or my work life balance.

      Certain of its employees did (notably several managers and one or two senior managers who knew me), but the "employer", i.e.: the Corporation, saw me only as a unit capable of work, to be used until no longer needed and then cut loose, according to current and future needs. Certainly, the CEOs never had any idea what I did, nor did they care.

      I live in a "right to work" state, where employee or employer can break the employment arrangement at will, with no warning necessary. It's strictly a business arrangement, and there's been no loyalty or expectation of "over and above" effort for many, many years. Now, that being said, it never hurts to be seen putting in extra effort, to make management think you're more valuable to keep than to lose.

      1. Shalghar Bronze badge

        "t never hurts to be seen putting in extra effort, to make management think you're more valuable "

        No need for effort, most of "management" hasnt enough competence and understanding to actually be able to value real worth. Just make sure to put on a show of what they think they understand and youre better off than anyone doing real work.

        One of the far too many examples was me and a colleague "standing around" (as a certain manager decided to believe and voiced to everyone and his dogs fleas behind our backs) in front of a prototype. What he wasnt able to see/hear because he kept his distance and had no intent of asking what we did, was our conversation about technical difficulties, how to get cabling from the feed through all the moving parts to the target, how much space had to be allocated for pneumatics..... All the fiddly little stuff that "somehow" always comes up with prototypes.

        When it came to the next performance review, this nice opinion was put on the table and cost both of us our share of the bonus for early completion.

        Compensating the shortcomings of the construction and implementing some "minor" changes, with excessive overtime, destroyed weekends, delayed vacancy, all for nothing.

        You might guess what happened at the next machine. Spoiler: somehow this thing was completed late. Too late. Expensively late (Oops, had to be on the container ship to overseas ? Really ? My, how shocking. Isnt it too bad ? If only someone had had some ideas in the early stages of completion....).

        1. martinusher Silver badge

          You really can overdo this sort of thing -- lose whole chunks of your life to the firm. But ultimately you really are just a work unit unless you've got a significant equity position in the company. As a professional you should probably try to be a bit more engaged than the (anonymous) author of this poem but even so the general sentiment is correct. I've worked at enough companies (been laid off myself a couple of times as well) to know that at layoff time you're nothing, it doesn't matter how much you contribute, you'll disappear, the waters will close over your head and it will be as if you never existed.

          If you work hard and do your best

          You'll get the sack just like the rest

          But if you laze and sod about

          You'll get to see the job right out

          The work is hard, the pay is small

          So take your time and sod them all

          'Cos when you're dead you'll be forgot

          So don't try to do the bleedin' lot

          Or on you tombstone neatly laquered

          These three words....

          "Just Bleedin' Knackered"

          Incidentally, the only reason for "over and above" IMHO (apart from equity) is to build your skillbase for the inevitable.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pfft. Microsoft is ahead of the pack despite being the most lax about working from home of any of the big techs.

    1. Steve Button Silver badge

      Lax? I'd have thought a better word would be relaxed.

      1. ITMA Silver badge
        Devil

        It makes a lot of sense if you add "atives" onto the end of lax :)

        It would certainly help explain Copilot.

    2. Groo The Wanderer

      Interesting that you don't seem to consider Microsoft to be one of the "big techs "

  3. Howard Sway Silver badge

    I misspoke about Google and their work hours. I regret my error

    Translation : I said what I really thought about Google and their work hours. Now I'm embarrassed because it got out and everybody thinks I sound like an asshole.

    1. Khaptain Silver badge

      Re: I misspoke about Google and their work hours. I regret my error

      For once someone at Google was honest.

      1. Anna Nymous

        Re: I misspoke about Google and their work hours. I regret my error

        They weren't honest, just merely somewhat unguarded because they thought they were in a "safe space". Big difference between the two!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I misspoke about Google and their work hours. I regret my error

        You're a fine one to talk about honesty, Khaptain - you were reposting some outright fiction around the far right riots the other week!

        1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

          Re: I misspoke about Google and their work hours. I regret my error

          "some outright fiction around the far right riots other week"

          I didn't see any far right riots. Saw quite a lot of anti-illegal immigration protests though.

          1. sabroni Silver badge

            Re: Saw quite a lot of anti-illegal immigration protests though.

            Yeah, that's right! It wasn't a progrom, they weren't trying to burn people to death, they were attacking "hotels".

            Fucking evil is what it was, and you're making excuses for it.

            You have to be pretty fucking stupid to believe the enemy arrives in a small boat and not a limousine.

            1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

              Re: Saw quite a lot of anti-illegal immigration protests though.

              Ohh I could come back with the same emotional vitriol you're projecting, and fight to show you exactly why your post is absolutely part of the problem, but I have the overwhelming feeling that you're so set in your views that it would achieve absolutely nothing.

              Enjoy your day. And your prejudices.

    2. b0llchit Silver badge
      Mushroom

      Re: I misspoke about Google and their work hours. I regret my error

      Interpretation: You are an asshole and deserve a public flogging.

      1. Tilda Rice

        Re: I misspoke about Google and their work hours. I regret my error

        Flogged by who? Google? Or the people who love WFH?

        1. Anna Nymous
          Trollface

          Re: I misspoke about Google and their work hours. I regret my error

          Why not both? Double the fun!

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: I misspoke about Google and their work hours. I regret my error

            I doubt few offices are equipped for that.

            Could be entertaining, though on a walk through for investors: "And here we have the dungeon, mainly used for motivational purposes. For some, to avoid it, for others, precisely because we have it."

            1. Shalghar Bronze badge

              Re: I misspoke about Google and their work hours. I regret my error

              "I doubt few offices are equipped for that."

              Behold, my CAT6 of 8 tails.... Or my 10 knotted extension cords mace. Or whatever corded weapon any mess of USB cables transforms to after one day in a dark drawer...

    3. ITMA Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: I misspoke about Google and their work hours. I regret my error

      And just perhaps Google's "poor showing" in AI is because it is being forced on people who just don't want it and find it is shite, gets in the way and is extremely annoying - yes I'm talking about "Google AI overview"

  4. Anna Nymous

    Baloney from an ad-slinger (but that's saying the same thing twice)

    > Schmidt is reported as saying, "If you all leave the university and go found a company, you're not going to let people work from home and only come in one day a week if you want to compete against the other startups."

    Such baloney... If you go found a company, you'll be a startup and thus have to be careful with how you spend your first ${CURRENCY} ${AVAILABLE_CAPITAL}. Spending that money on office space while you could have your people work from a place they already pay rent for/have purchased anyway, so that they can void the commute and thus be happier, more product employees, would be madness, managerial incompetence and an inability to 'read the room'. A startup should be spending that money on other things rather than an office space.

    This individual has become detached from reality, and grown accustomed to "do as I say, because I say so". The arrogance is not only palpable, it's all-encompassing; and it is disgusting.

    1. williamyf Bronze badge

      Re: Baloney from an ad-slinger (but that's saying the same thing twice)

      I, personaly, subscribe for hybrid.

      two or three days in the office, and 3 or two at home.

      personally I'd take 3@ the office and 2 at home, but that's me (mostly to set the example). To each (team member) his/her own.

      Sometimes y'all do need the face to face time to generate rapport intra and inter team (among other things).

      JM2C

      YMMV

      1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

        Re: Baloney from an ad-slinger (but that's saying the same thing twice)

        I'm with you. As with anything, the extremes are where the danger lies; 100% WFH can be problematic, and 100% RTO is in most cases undesirable and unproductive.

        My client has a general RTO order, but as contractors we're exempt. I do go in 2-3 days a week though; largely to show the flag. Works wonders at contract renegotiation time if people actually know your face.

      2. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

        Re: Baloney from an ad-slinger (but that's saying the same thing twice)

        THe office is a very wasteful place. Far too many meetings, which suck up basically most of the day leaving little time for REAL work.

        1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

          Re: Baloney from an ad-slinger (but that's saying the same thing twice)

          THe office -i-s- can be a very wasteful place.

          FTFY.

  5. Anonymous Coward Silver badge
    Facepalm

    "If you all leave the university and go found a company, you're not going to let people work from home"

    Because google famously started out from Susan Wojcicki office block ???

  6. Ace2 Silver badge

    I remember years ago someone posting a comment here about how they hope this clown “chokes to death.” It was on one of those interviews where he said it was just peachy that none of us have privacy any more.

    I thought, yeah, that would be nice. Still waiting unfortunately.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Your mission, should you choose to accept it"..

      :)

      1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

        Posting as AC. Sensible. Given the current UK "government"'s propensity to lock people up for posting things far less threatening than this online.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Let's not forget that the ACs on El Reg are as they should be (IMHO): anonymous, but not unaccountable..

  7. Zibob Silver badge

    Schmidt is reported as saying,

    "If you all leave the university and go found a company, you're not going to let people work from home and only come in one day a week if you want to compete against the other startups."

    You mean like all the current global economy warping massive companies... Oh wait. They all started in garages and homes... Working from homes if you will.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Schmidt is reported as saying,

      Maybe his memory is going, and he's not even that old.

      1. Vometia has insomnia. Again.

        Re: Schmidt is reported as saying,

        Eric Shit's old enough to stop being a clueless edgelord. Didn't they have to pull him out of the public eye because he kept being embarrassing and creepy? He seems to have escaped from wherever he was confined...

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    An Ex-Googler says...

    Google's productivity issues stem from constant reinvention of the wheel and lack of corporate discipline. Our product was a hit but was primarily located in one of the non-Mountain View offices. So, naturally, corporate shenanigans had it consumed by a Mountain View team, retaining none of the original members, whereupon they decided to ditch all the existing code and reimplement the same functionality as part of some other piece of software. Subsequently nobody ever heard of it or its replacement again.

    Upon the corresponding wind-down of my team, top transfer options were: that year's winner in the chat-application lottery, based in Seattle at least until the next chat application comes along to displace it; and the latest rewrite of a shared whiteboard, which is also now long dead due to the arrival of some other Google shared whiteboard.

    How many extra hours could Google have spent on AI without the annual rewrite of Hangouts to ever-diminishing returns? How about if they'd skipped Google Wave, or just kept Wave and not written it again as Google+? Etc, etc.

    1. pip25
      Thumb Up

      Re: An Ex-Googler says...

      That's some great insight into Google's inner workings, thanks.

    2. Gene Cash Silver badge

      Re: An Ex-Googler says...

      God, yes. As an Android user, I think I'm on my 5th iteration of a Google SMS/messaging app? Or maybe 6th?

      Each one has been broken, but broken differently.

      1. DS999 Silver badge

        Re: An Ex-Googler says...

        I've never understood why Google has had so many problems with messaging. Messaging isn't complicated. But they were so focused on coming up with something that worked on phones, on desktops, and integrated with corporate productivity apps and the cloud that every year they'd scrap it and start over.

        Apple showed them how to do it with iMessage, but they were too dumb to see that and thought Apple was missing out not trying to integrate with cloud productivity apps and email and whatever other crap Google thought had to have their needs be addressed. As a result they kept shutting chat apps down and redoing it so often that everyone went to alternatives like Whatsapp and no one uses the Android messaging app if they can help it. At least, according my Android friends, they use it only to chat with me and other iPhone users, via SMS today and RCS tomorrow, but never to chat with other Android users. I suppose they'd be happier if I signed up for WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger or Signal (or all three because they aren't all using the same one) but too bad I'm not going to sign up for additional chat platforms just because Google screwed the pooch with Android's.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: An Ex-Googler says...

          My personal theory is that it's Google's policy that you get promoted by first performing tasks of an appropriate complexity for the level above you, then proving that you did so at the next round of reviews.

          So to get to a certain level of compensation you need to be able to say "I architected a system". So the easiest way to do that is to find some pretext to rewrite an existing system.

          Maintaining and improving what already exists will take you only so far.

    3. Like a badger

      Re: An Ex-Googler says...

      That's how all big corporates think and operate - seen it outside the tech sector.

      But I wonder how Schmidt explains the fabulously funny "midnight honk off" by the Waymo fleet? Was that because your staff were working from home, you arsehole?

      https://eu.usatoday.com/story/tech/2024/08/15/waymo-driverless-cars-honking-parking-lot-video/74810195007/

    4. ecofeco Silver badge

      Re: An Ex-Googler says...

      Every significantly large company eventually, and without fail, creates silos within itself.

      This is NEVER a good development.

    5. Jason Hindle Silver badge

      Re: An Ex-Googler says...

      Google still lacks a coherent chat app strategy, which is a pity—they should have the best overall hardware/OS-agnostic ecosystem that isn't Apple!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: An Ex-Googler says...

        The problem they have it that their primary business seems to be the theft and abuse of personal data, and most decent apps (I'm excluding WhatsApp from that) tend to be a bit more protective. It just wouldn't fly with current management.

  9. Dan 55 Silver badge

    Our employees failed us because of "work-life balance"

    Not that the US particularly has much of that in the first place...

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Our employees failed us because of "work-life balance"

      But that's why Japanese software companies now dominate the world. All those people staying in the offices til late at night, not daring to leave until their manager does, sleeping under their desks.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Our employees failed us because of "work-life balance"

        Sure, Japan also dominates the world in terms of aging population, suicide and long term maintenance of virginity as well.

        I'd rather be second best and enjoying life than be first place and leaving the office at 2am to go for a group wank in a men tossing cafe.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I "misspoke" and now I'm lying to cover up my misspeakingness.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    WFH increases my productivity

    Today I was working from home, if I’d been in the office I’d have downed tools at 5pm to catch a train. Instead I carried on for 30 mins or so and finished what I was working on, clearing the decks to start something new tomorrow. I won’t get paid for that 30 minutes, I won’t work less hours tomorrow. Company wins because I got stuff done, I win because I didn’t have an hour long commute either side of a day in the office. Anyone who thinks working from home makes you unproductive is an idiot.

    1. Ace2 Silver badge

      Re: WFH increases my productivity

      I just picked my car up from the shop. My employer didn’t need to know. Build was still running when I got back.

      Sometimes I wonder if I could ever tolerate going back to an office job.

      1. An_Old_Dog Silver badge
        Joke

        Universal Excuse

        Boss wanders into your office and sees you doing chin-ups on the (sturdy) overhead pipes.

        You: "Thirty-seven ... thirty-eight ..." You see the Boss and drop down to the floor. "Yes?"

        Boss: "I came for a status update, but why are you doing exercises on company time?"

        You: (Gesturing to your PC with colourful error messages scrolling up the screen) "My program's still compiling."

        Boss: "Oh." He wanders out.

        Later, the Boss comes back, sees your your phone, PC and monitor on the floor, and many taped-together pieces of A4 paper with multicoloured lines on your desk. On top of the papers -- a map of the Tube -- are many paper clips with one piece bent vertically; each vertical portion of each paper clip holds a coloured piece of tape, like a little flag.

        Boss: "Status?" (Glances at your desk) "Whatthehell is all that?"

        You: (pointing at your PC on the floor) "Still compiling. I'm working out the most-time-efficient way for TfL to get me to all the --"

        Boss: (Interrupting) "Never mind," and strides out.

        Much later ... the boss walks in, and sees your desk covered with many neatly-arranged flat-panel monitors, PCs stacked up on the floor, obviously running hard. One monitor shows colourful error nessages scrolling by. All the other monitors show a black background, with many dots coloured red, green, or blue. Straight lines grow from many dots, to other dots, which then disappear.

        Boss: "This is the program I have you working on?!"

        You: "No, that program is still compiling. This program is my simulation of the space-battle fleets from Legend of the Galactic Heroes."

        Boss: "..." (Slumps his shoulders and slouches out of your office.)

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: WFH increases my productivity

      "Anyone who thinks working from home makes you unproductive is an idiot."

      Anybody who things working from home is unproductive should pay for the commuting time - and fares - if they want staff in the office. They'd soon work out which is more productive.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: WFH increases my productivity

      We are a small company who hired a fresh uni student. After a few months he decided he wanted to move back to his home country, which the company agreed to.

      He can handle the technical side of the job, but the soft skills he basically hasn't been able to learn from office colleagues in the way most would at his age.

      His status also started changing to "away" for extended periods, which got longer and more frequent... It has deteriorated to the point where everyone else in the company is discussing how can monitor performance and get some numbers and statistics to back up the customer complaints of poor service...

      The thing is, this is exactly why I do NOT want to work from home. I know I am in a different mental state in the office whereas when I do have to work from home every now and then... let's just say my cigarette breaks might be slightly longer and more frequent... The difference being that I am aware of this and therefore do not work from home regularly.

      1. Joe W Silver badge
        Trollface

        Re: WFH increases my productivity

        Hey, I can browse the Internet all day even in the office if I have nothing interesting to do (not the same as"important")....

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. spuck

        Re: WFH increases my productivity

        You mention "complaints of poor service", but is he doing the job or not? If the answer is yes, what is the company hoping to measure? If the answer is no, why are you waiting to have the meeting with him where you outline where things need to improve?

      3. Nifty

        Re: WFH increases my productivity

        "but the soft skills he basically hasn't been able to learn from office colleagues"

        Wondering what 'soft skills' I've picked up during years in the office. Some colleagues couldn't stop bellowing when on the phone or Teams to a customer. Could be heard from one end of the office to the other. Nearby workmates would stop concentrating. We learned that if you're unsure about something, start rambling. A call could last 90 minutes. Others would speak so softly that anyone nearby with need to know had to ask for a summary afterwards.

        I've seen a mug chucked, to smash into the wall as a near miss on another workmates head (both programmers). A workmate whose stuff creeps across his desk onto yours as it piles up. Workmates who eat their microwave heated garlic curry at the desk while their desk fan is beaming the fragrance your way.

        Almost forgot to mention the period (in the days where indoor smoking was allowed) where half the office was software dev, half sales. Every man jack of the sales team coped with the stress by pacing the office alleyway while smoking. Your eyes would water and in deepest winter all windows had to be thrown open once per hour to clear the air.

        And in all of these situations the actual boss was secreted away in a private office.

    4. Persona Silver badge

      Re: WFH increases my productivity

      I have a relative who works from home with only one day a month wasted in the office. He is very productive, once breakfast is over at about 9:30 he buckles down to work does the odd meeting, compiles a bit of code, mows the lawn and does a few domestic chores before breaking for lunch after a couple of hours eating and gaming he gets straight back to work for the afternoon session punctuated only by preparing dinner. Due to his high productivity he finishes at 4:30 and goes out for a run to finish off his working day. Fortunately one of his two jobs is particularly undemanding and takes less than an hour a day. Were he to go into the office more I don't see how he could possibly manage two jobs at once, the garden would become overgrown and his level of fitness would suffer.

    5. Vometia has insomnia. Again.

      Re: WFH increases my productivity

      This was well known when I worked from home in the '90s (this was "DEC: The Greasy Bob Years", and his means of hitting quarterly targets included selling office space, as well as the usual redundancies and flogging anything still generating a profit to competitors) and I'd already been warned about the inclination to over-work which was well known about from previous studies. It probably more or less balanced out, but I remember it wasn't uncommon for me to wake up at 2am with a good idea and immediately start working on it. It was also much easier to get stuff done without the constant interruptions from the productivity-free "must be seen to be doing something" types.

    6. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: WFH increases my productivity

      Commander Vimes has a great speech that he gave to Littlebottom about working to the job and not the clock, going further to let her know that while people have talked about this overtime thing, there's been no credible sighting of it.

      I laughed a big laugh when I heard that (audiobook) since it's the same attitude I have. If I need to spend a little bit more time to get to a logical stopping point, fine. I will also insist that if I hit that stopping point a bit before the normal knocking off time, I'll leave. The benefit of working on salary in the US is that exempt employees aren't supposed to be paid by the hour so should also not be punished for "clocking out" a bit early. The trade off is there's no overtime either (normally). If I had to stay until the clock said I could leave, I did stop working and spent some time making notes or tidying up. I highly recommend keeping a work journal. It doesn't need to be highly detailed, but can come in handy. What was I doing last Thursday? Easy to look up.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I was in the office early (by my standards) and I worked like a dog (rare for me). I made real progress on a top priority project, but only because I put in earphones and shut out everybody else. If I'd been at home I'd have lacked the discipline to get on in this case, as the task is important but unexciting.

    Hybrid works for me. 100% office wouldn't, 100% home wouldn't. Others will have different experience both ways, so seems to me crapheads like Schmidt need to think a lot harder about leading and managing, because they know nothing, and then open their mouths to confirm that.

    By all means, fat-car corporate bosses, if bums on seat is your measure of success, then your policies and actions can get that. Let's see you explain that to your investors that you've got a new bums on seats KPI, and that will link to provable increases in total shareholder return versus the relevant index.

  13. HuBo Silver badge
    Gimp

    Dig that groove, baby?

    Schmidt (edited): "We slipped behind OpenAI because Google decided working from home was more important than winning".

    Well, silly medieval of us all then to think Google actually slipped behind because it missed the moat! And so much for d^8's "¿recursive yoga?" theory ...

    But okay, if you still gotta dig, here's some quality video encouragement, and if all that effort gives you a backache ... them Toy Dolls have your number for that too (they're super-versatile)!

  14. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge

    Ego

    Google is an ego driven company. People starting new "moonshot" or "re-architecture" projects are the heroes. Anyone working on bugs, refactoring, and usability is a nobody. Any design not infinitely horizontally scalable is forbidden, even if it never needs it. It's an attitude throughout the entire Google culture that hinders project completion and maintenance. It's heartbreaking to have your successful startup acquired then left it to rot once the bragging and congratulations are done.

    People going home early? Yes, when all your projects are blocked by apathy or dueling egos.

  15. JRStern Bronze badge

    So that's why Gemini has misfired twice and probably cost them a billion bucks in rework?

    ... so far?

    Yeah right.

    I'll bet he wrote that speech at Starbucks.

  16. O'Reg Inalsin

    Ironically Gemini (chat) and ChatGPT are barely distinguishable in terms of quality - but judging by the online hype ChatGPT is a leader in creating that cult-hype feeling (soon to be hype-challenged by Musks X.AI). Looks like Schmidt bought into ChatGPT's hype - that is a losing attitude, and how demoralizing for Google's employees to be insulted like that. Schmidt is signalling what he really wants is more hype. What he should be wanting is a "pivot" from hype to profitable applications outside of advertising and social media, while also keeping a steady investment in leading edge R&D.

    1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

      You do realise the cult thing starts with allowing corporate leaders preach to the masses, just like Erics speech which thereg and other american media have dutifiully shared with the masses.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Misspoke?

    It's interesting what some execs think when they speak their mind.

    Given some other large silicon valley companies are doing very well with working from home and the like, perhaps it's more about the ability to manage the company and workforce.

    A little bit of introspection goes a long way.

    1. Bebu
      Windows

      Re: Misspoke?

      execs think when they speak their mind.

      Exec. No mind. No think. ... Would be a bloody good idea to go for the trifecta and: No speak.

      Modern corporate america is run by Dorothy's companions in Oz - no brains, no heart and no actual courage.

      Oddly I visually parse the abomination misspoke as miss poke which I assume arose by analogy to misspelt or misstep. The dishonesty in this word is the implication that the misspoken words were unrelated to the speaker's thoughts or beliefs and were ejaculated randomly and accidentally. Bollocks!

      This prat said what he was thinking, believed and intended to say. The worm should own it and argue his case and, if or when he concedes he was wrong, apologize explaining why he was wrong.

    2. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

      Re: Misspoke?

      No whats more depressing is that you believe corporate aresholes are genuine and fail to appreciate its people like Eric who actually to blame for the "failing" he is blaming on the work from homers.

      He is the idiot who approved Google to create dozens of duplciate systems. How many chat / meeting does Google need and why are they writing the same thing more than a dozen times ?

  18. Potemkine! Silver badge

    Bloody underlings.

    Now go back to work

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What a dick

    He’s made his bundle and doesn’t need to work for the rest of his life, so why doesn’t he zip it and go off and enjoy life?

    1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

      Re: What a dick

      The real q you should be asking, is why does the media keep giving peopl elike him airtime ?

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    1. People work like hell in startups because they have a major stake in the business and are not in bureaucratic corporate hell.

    2. People do not work less WFH. People wander around offices talking, chat at coffee machines, have long lunches, long meetings ...

    The worries about WFH are more about the bosses than the workers. There are lazy workers, hard workers and productive workers. Find the productive and it doesn't matter where they work. Sometimes WFH is more productive; concentrating on complex tasks, in a busy office, is hard. A mix is probably best, subject to the work type. In the office is better if you just give out orders of course but try working on coding algorithms, logic sequences or complex spreadsheets when everyone is buzzing around loudly.

  21. Electronics'R'Us
    Holmes

    Office when it adds value

    I have no objection to going into the office [1] when it adds some value.

    A lot of my work is design and analysis (see handle) and generally I am far more productive at home [2].

    When I do need to go in (as I did a couple of days ago to decide just where to add some fixes / mitigations for EMC failures) there needs to be a solid reason. A few weeks ago I spent the entire week at the EMC test house (living out of a hotel room) to run the most risky tests (RE-102 and CE---102 for those who may be interested) so that if (when) there were failures I could analyse them and have time to develop a solution. Travelled home on the weekend.

    Most of the time I spend the majority of my week in my home office [3] with the occasional day at the relatively local office.

    No commute means I am far more relaxed and ready to go when I start the day.

    1. $COMPANY has 3 sites of which I regularly go to 2, one of which is full day worth of travel so I usually stay for a week. The local office is open plan (yuck) so it is not the place to get things done that require concentration.

    2. Design and analysis requires concentration rather than hanging around a canteen / water cooler / <hangout of your choice> and I am quite ok in my own company when I am doing that. If I need to chat to other members of the team that is simple (Teams video call - it works well enough for that).

    3. I don't work excessive hours as that can easily lead to errors. At the normal end of the working day I shut down the work laptop and close the door to the office. Occasional late work is fine but it should noit be the norm. Being a bit disciplined in that is useful.

  22. DoctorPaul Bronze badge

    Managers were told to send reminders to staff "who are consistently absent from the office."

    And that tells you all you need to know about what passes for "management" in the depressing majority of cases.

    It's a software company FFS! If you're running a steel mill then WFH isn't an option but otherwise what happened to "set a task and monitor its progress". Oh of course, that requires competent management, 'nuff said.

    Shout out to the handful of good managers who are a joy to work with (rather than for) and are remembered fondly many years later.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Managers were told to send reminders to staff "who are consistently absent from the office."

      Now you've made me wonder what running a steel mill would look like with WFH :)

      1. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

        Steel Mill WFH

        Use waldoes! Waldoes are remotely-controlled manipulators (sometimes attached to a mobile "body") which let you deal with potentially-dangerous materials without risking your own body.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Steel Mill WFH

          But how do you know where it is?

          :)

          (sorry, it was stronger than me :) ).

  23. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
    Pint

    Wish I

    could work from home , sadly thats just not possible.

    But work does have 1 advantage that home doesn't (not counting the PFY who'd gladly murder anyone I disagree with... or the boss who locks himself in his office when I'm out of mine) nay but 1 advantage...... the pub is closer ..... and I've just got back from lunch

    <<<currently debating a full on curry tonight or ordering pizza ... followed by more beer

  24. Charles Bu

    How to say "be my wage slave"...

    ...without saying "be my wage slave".

    No, startups primarily work because they have a better product or service than the existing offerings (try selling doggie do's as deodorant outside Boots and no matter how well you talk it up, no one will buy it).

    The vast majority of people I've worked with (000s over the years) work very hard, and are generally thinking about their work 24/7 even when they're not physically in front of their laptop, working.

  25. Winkypop Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Back in my day…

    We didn’t have WFH (not officially). Instead, we made do with “work free days”.

    Whenever possible, you would decide to do anything but work on a given day.

    Surf the Internet (what did we do before that came along?), shopping trips, pub lunches, a movie in a cinema (yes), bill paying, etc.

    Not much changes.

  26. tp2

    these googlers dont seem to understand that I'm working hard to compete against the whole world, including google, all alone. My web site has no visitors: https://meshpage.org and thus no paying customers. If googlers can take a breather, the smaller, nimbler and quicker to respond small companies and thousands of self-employed workers will take the crown.

    1. steviebuk Silver badge

      Your cert appears to be invalid.

  27. steviebuk Silver badge

    Cause he's

    a cunt and has been for a long time. All these billionaires love to blame their workers instead of themselves and/or management. Much like workers low down the chain get fired, yet management, exec management and so on all get given money to "leave". How does that work!

    1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

      Re: Cause he's

      Finallyt someone who writes the truth.

      The real person Eric should be blaming is Eric. Its his fault google continues to create dozens of duplicate services...

  28. Bbuckley

    No Eric. It has nothing to do with the very large brains in your WFH employees. It is all to do with the very small brains in your "leadership team". Including you.

  29. Bbuckley

    A sad fact is Eric Cunt and Sundar Cunt, along with their "leadership team", have turned a previously innovative world-beater into a drap "Office Space" Initech. Google has been reduced to a has-been in record time by these very, very dumb cunts.

  30. ske1fr
    Big Brother

    What he said, what he meant

    "The reason startups work is because the people work like hell."

    The reason startups work for the founders is that they work their people like hell.

    Fixed that for you, Eric. And mate, I was more productive in the years I worked exclusively from home, because I didn't have to go to physical meetings called by pointless pointy-headed attention-seeking bosses like you. Not that I worked for Gurgle, heaven forbid.

    1. steviebuk Silver badge

      Re: What he said, what he meant

      And the ability to wake up and start work straight away instead of having to waste time in the commute.

  31. ske1fr
    Joke

    Alice?

    Oh, and on the AI race...is it like the Caucus Race? Seems like everyone's running in different directions with no obvious finish line, and it's certainly not going to take 14 minutes...I love learning new shit.

  32. cd

    Squirrel boy!

    For those whe remember Fake Steve Jobs.

    https://www.fakesteve.net/tag/squirrel-boy

    1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

      Re: Squirrel boy!

      Not sure why you mentioned SquirrelBoy at least he knows what unsecure code actually is, the real jobs wouldnt have a fucking clue, he couldnt program, remember Woz did all the programming and h/w design.

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Last startup I did didn't have an office

    All 5 of us worked from home when we wanted. And we got stuff done.

    And that was a long time before the pandemic.

  34. steviebuk Silver badge

    He's

    always been a cunt Eric Schmidt has. They are all for "Work hard, work long hours and you'll be succesful". No, they'll just make you lots of money then once you're done with them you'll drop them. THAT is the issue. You may want to do the long hours etc to get rich, but its no motivation when you know you're doing all those long hours to make someone else rich.

    Its why Elon loves the H-1B visa because it means he can become even more rich on the backs of others but pay them a LOT less than he'd have to pay America workers. And also knows if those H-1B visa workers don't like it, they'll loose their visa and will have to go back home, so he knows they'll just keep their mouth shut. He then knows he can make them do whatever he wants, even if it means working long hours, 7 days a week.

    They are all cunts (the execs, not the H-1B visa workers)

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