Microsoft squashes bug that sent Windows devices to BitLocker recovery Microsoft has fixed a problem that sent affected Windows PCs scurrying into BitLocker recovery. The problem, which affected almost every supported flavor of Windows 11 and Windows 10, as well as editions of Windows Server going back to 2008, occurred after the July 2024 Windows security update was installed. Microsoft had …
"encrypts a user's storage to keep it safe from prying eyes"
Kinda-sorta?
It prevents someone without the key being able to decrypt it when powered off, e.g. by connecting to a different machine.
Once it's booted, it's decrypted and anything running on the machine can read anything e.g. malware
Bitlocker on servers in data centers makes no sense, except maybe for managers who became security aware through glossy magazines from the first class in an airliner.
What makes no sense either that Big-Tech, with all their countless billions, didn't solve the console issue on cloud based VM's.
Those who lose network or admin/root passwords are in a world of pain.
Drive encryption on servers is most definitely a thing. SAP got dinged when some miscreants made off with a load of SSDs (whether still in the rack, or in the discard pile, I don't know). Ah, here it is.
Encryption at-rest is usually a feature of cloud deployments.
I'm bored at work & to the tune of Never Ending Story by Limahl.
Crowdstrikes fucked around
Take a look at what I see
on all the users screens
A nightmare of my dreams
Bitlockers everywhere
Became a fucking blight
Finding keys written down
Is the answer to a Neverending bootup
ARGGGHHHHHHHHhhhh
Find the keys
That's not as easy as it seems
Swear a lot
It's Friday & now it's half past 3
Drives that keep their secrets
Files weren't uploaded to the cloud
And somewhere there's a envelope
With the answer to a Neverending bootup
ARGGGHHHHHHHHhhhh
Boootup
ARGGGHHHHHHHHhhhh
Got no beer
its midnight, the issues not gone away
In my hand
yet another badly scribbled key
Drives that keep their secrets
Files that weren't uploaded to the cloud
And somewhere there's a envelope
with the answer to a Neverending bootup
ARGGGHHHHHHHHhhhh
Neverending bootup
ARGGGHHHHHHHHhhhh (Repeat to fade).
I much rather Microsoft start asking me what I want my computer to do, instead of doing everything without my knowledge or permission.
Bitlocker is turned on without my knowledge or permission. Drivers are installed without my permission. The Edge browser starts when the computer does without my knowledge or permission. Updates are installed without my permission. The useless AI junk is turn on without my permission. Telemetry is collected without my knowledge or permission.
And the list goes on. Microsoft forgot that this is my computer, not theirs. And since this is my computer, I know what is best for it, they never do.
1. And the angel remembered that there was one more trumpet which he blew, and a fifth horse came forth with pompous rainbow flatulence, riding it was the one called Agile but also known as haste and budget. 2.And the Internet cease for a time and a half a time, and the people suffered greatly because they could not find their way around town, and they did not know what to say to each other in person. 3. There were no more short video clips of cats, or squirrels 4. and the people knew not what to do with themselves.
5. And the Lord saw this, and knew that it was bad, and he liked it. 6. And the Lord spake unto Agile, saying: 7. "You are cursed to walk the Earth for a thousand years, with no rest and no sustenance. 8. "Your task will be to annoy the writers of computer code everywhere, bringing them much sorrow and misery and banging of heads on hard objects. 9. "You will achieve this by bringing unto them increasingly ridiculous methodologies for managing the production of computer programs, in this task you will be aided by Lucifer's many demons, for I am a Vengeful God." 10. And the computer programmers of the world did weep, and did gnash their teeth, and they cried out to the Lord saying: 11. "O Lord who are our God, how hast thou forsaken us? 12. "We are a poor and downtrodden class who merely want to write computer code, yet we now spend most of our time in meetings discussing what we have done, what we are doing now, and what we will do tomorrow. 12a. "Our progress is at a standstill and we are beset by demons in the form of Scrum Masters and Project Managers." 14. And the Lord did grin, and the computer programmers did attend their meetings with much sorrow, there to spend all their time until Lucifer's kingdom froze solid.
Backup isn't the issue. I have Bitlocker turned on because it means that if someone nicks one of my machines, I can genuinely say to clients that it's very unlikely* that any of their data will have been accessible to the thief or anyone else who got the stolen goods (in fact, because of Bitlocker, I probably wouldn't even mention it to clients, tbh). It also means I probably wouldn't have to report myself to the Information Commissioner.
*Yes, yes, I'm aware that there are edge-case ways that someone could get in, but I'm (hopefully) not being targeted by national governments or scary corporations with massive budgets and dodgy morals. Round here, it's far more likely to just be someone looking for something to dump with the pawn shop/local fence to get their next fix.
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