back to article Japan stops measuring train crowding by ease of newspaper readership

Japan's Ministry of Land, Infrastructure, Transport, and Tourism has changed the way it measures crowding on trains, abandoning decades-old newspaper- and magazine-based metrics. The Ministry publishes regular reports detailing congestion rates in major metropolitan areas. Those documents have previously used the charming …

  1. Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge

    Barking spiders and air biscuits...

    Air biscuits.

    Nobody mentioned air biscuits and barking spiders yet?

  2. Pete 2 Silver badge

    Fishy

    > This news from Japan suggests we should also contemplate a metric for train crowding

    Might I humbly suggest this unit be known as the sardine

    1. plunet

      Re: Fishy

      There's no plaice even for sardines

      1. Xalran

        Re: Fishy

        But a crowded RER in Paris means that people are *serrés comme dans une boite à sardine*

        ( as tigh as in a sardine can ).

        Now, to be honest, the Japanese subways/local trains raise that to another level.

        1. MiguelC Silver badge

          Re: Fishy

          I've been in a train so packed that my feet were in the air for the first two stops (it was after a football match)... I would have loved to have as much space as sardines in a can :)

    2. MatthewSt Silver badge

      Re: Fishy

      If your suggestion isn't taken up you'll be carp-ing on about it non-stop

    3. Paul Herber Silver badge
      Angel

      Re: Fishy

      We'll have none of this Euro-centric sardine stuff in El Reg if you don't mind.

      I'll raise you one Pilchard.

      You Kernow it makes sense.

      1. Bebu Silver badge
        Windows

        Re: Fishy

        I'll raise you one Pilchard.

        Up that to one Brisling. :)

        1. Paul Herber Silver badge

          Re: Fishy

          Meby

      2. Korev Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Fishy

        I'll raise you one Pilchard.

        You Kernow it makes sense.

        Proper Job...

        A pint of Betty Stoggs naturally -->

      3. The Indomitable Gall

        Re: Fishy

        The difference between a Pilchard and a Sardine isn't mere naming though... That would be like proposing just calling every litre a gallon and thinking that it wouldn't mess everything up....

    4. Evil Auditor Silver badge

      Re: Fishy

      Supporting the sardine.

      But, having had both the pleasure to travel in Tokyo's rush hour and the displeasure doing the same in London (and other major city in Europe and the western hemisphere), for the latter I'd suggest to optionally use a metric measuring the ability to escape the rotten sardine smell emitted from fellow passengers.

    5. Sceptic Tank Silver badge
      Pirate

      Re: Fishy

      If your joints get squashed out of place it may require a visit to an orthopedic sturgeon.

      1. LybsterRoy Silver badge

        Re: Fishy

        As long as its not a Nicola

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lets improve the other metrics first

    Honestly, until the British train companies improve the metrics for trains-actually-turning-up, trains-getting-to-their-destination-vaguely-on-time, and trains-not-turning-into-a-bus-replacement-service-half-way-through-the-journey, then I'm not so interested in the train-overcrowding one.

    1. abend0c4 Silver badge

      Re: Lets improve the other metrics first

      Britain seems to have a unique desire to spend large sums of money to make railways services worse.

      HS2 will, in the end, further reduce rail capacity between London (well, Wormwood Scrubs for the foreseeable future) and Manchester which means higher fares to deter travel to manage the consequent overcrowding.

      Also in Manchester, the Ordsall Chord (a short, but expensive piece of railway, originally proposed in the 1970s, allowing trains from Victoria Station to loop back round to Piccadilly) was supposed to provide better connectivity and a wider choice of routes through the city. It's largely unused because the necessary improvements to the Castlefield Corridor weren't made and therefore any additional trains would simply delay the existing ones.

      It's almost as if politicians had no concept of public transport outside London.

      1. EvilDrSmith Silver badge

        Re: Lets improve the other metrics first

        or even

        "It's almost as if politicians had no concept of public transport"

        1. The commentard formerly known as Mister_C Silver badge

          Re: Lets improve the other metrics first

          or

          "It's almost as if politicians had no concept of Outside London"

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: Lets improve the other metrics first

            Surely the base unit should be the Corbyn - the level of crowding at which a politician is enabled to create a photo-opportunity by sitting on the corridor floor.

        2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

          Re: Lets improve the other metrics first

          Exhibit A:

          Rishi "Chopper" Sunak

  4. Roger Greenwood

    Podcast level

    When you can hear the podcast from the ear of a fellow traveller better than your own.... (and yes it's 2 techbros talking bollocks drowning out Marina Hyde)

  5. What? Me worry?

    Based on my former commute Munich U2 Königsplatz - Moosfeld, a measurement metric based how many Münchners are having a Augustiner Hell while traveling to/from work? 0 Hells - packed car, 1-2 Hells - room to stand, 3+ - room to sit

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Coat

      Sounds like Helles on earth...

  6. Ali Dodd
    Joke

    I have a suggestion for 250%

    Exceedingly close and uncomfortable as unable to avoid eye contact with other passengers

    1. Paul Herber Silver badge

      Re: I have a suggestion for 250%

      Just adjust the knob on your left size to change your height to either 4' 6" or 6' 6"

      1. Pete 2 Silver badge

        Re: I have a suggestion for 250%

        > Just adjust the knob on your left

        Which takes close contact to a new level of intimacy

        1. tiggity Silver badge

          Re: I have a suggestion for 250%

          Japanese trains already have a reputation for unwanted intimacy (chikan is usually (but not always) females suffering from the unwanted "actions" of men - so often see some female only carriages in Japan)

  7. chuckufarley Silver badge
    Boffin

    I think it should be...

    ...based on the odds of any two passengers of a given train having the same MAC addresses for the WiFi NIC's on their portable devices. It would avoid the need to expand or switch the metric for the foreseeable future.

  8. Bebu Silver badge
    Coat

    Sorry, I'll read that again.

    200 percent There is a lot of pressure from physical contact, but you can still read a weekly magazine;

    At first glance I read this as "...There is a lot of pleasure..." which hit the cognitive emergency brakes.

    Given the subjects of the Chrysanthemum throne have a few quaint traditions some involving sharp implements and exposed bellies I had to reread this to allay my misgivings.

    Otherwise I might have suggested the rego unit might be Jollies with 200% = 1 Jolly but clearly at 2.0 Jollies the ability to still read a magazine is extremely unlikely.

  9. Potemkine! Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Why people choose to live this life in crowded cities is beyond my understanding

    1. chuckufarley Silver badge

      Because Science!

      https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/bigger-cities-do-more-with-less/

      1. HuBo
        Alien

        Re: Because Science!

        Well, there's plenty of room to grow here on Mars! And our top-notch quantum teleportation public transist system never runs at that 250% spin packing level of entangled green tentacle superposition ... but then again you're not always sure where you're at until someone opens the doors!

        1. Blofeld's Cat
          Coat

          Re: Because Science!

          “I teleported home last night with Ron and Sid and Meg. Ron stole Meggy’s heart away and I got Sidney’s leg.” — Douglas Adams

      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Because Science!

        Trading quality of life for productivity and probably discounting commuting time when calculating output in a given time.

      3. Potemkine! Silver badge

        Re: Because Science!

        Oh yes, the economy, the thing that matters most for an American.

        But what about quality of life? Living with the Nature and being part of it instead of being totally disconnected? Having time with the family rather than hours in commuting? Growing your own food rather than buying industrial junk? Just to name a few.

        1. Sceptic Tank Silver badge
          Terminator

          Re: Because Science!

          I tried growing veggies in my own garden. To ensure that the food only gets eaten after the harvest you have to turn it into toxic industrial waste anyway. I simply don't have the time to earn a decent living and farm at the same time – especially "organic" farming.

      4. LybsterRoy Silver badge

        Re: Because Science!

        I read it - much seems to be of the bears shit in woods caliber of science, and having read it I still wouldn't live in big city of your choice but say London unless I was filthy stinking rich and hence could keep away from the steaming hordes.

  10. Primus Secundus Tertius

    Luggage index

    Worst of all are both student backpacks and wheelie-cases.

  11. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

    They can always switch to suicides, that never goes down on japanese trains. Maybe one day they will treat their citizens like people instead of wasting their lives commuting.

  12. jokerscrowbar

    The Boris

    Percentage of the room needed to give Boris’s Bollocks a swift knee 100 to 0% descending.

  13. Sir Sham Cad

    Just use the old Japanese one

    You can call it "The Evening Standard Standard" or just "The Standard Standard" for short.

    1. The commentard formerly known as Mister_C Silver badge

      Re: Just use the old Japanese one

      or the Eric & Ernie "Morning Standard"

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uX5HCE3CAWs

  14. munnoch Bronze badge

    Newspapers? I think I remember them..

    My technique was to fold the newspaper (The Japan Times obviously) vertically and then read it like a concertina. That worked up to 200%. Have to admit I've never seen that info-graphic but had a few commutes that must have topped 250%. The contents of the train becomes one solid mass of humanity helpless against the G-forces.

  15. Korev Silver badge
    Coat

    As this is Japan, should the new paper be The (Land of the Rising) Sun?

  16. MrReynolds2U

    Upside

    There is a sweet spot around 150% to 200% on Northern Rail where you can still breathe but the conductor cannot move through the carriage so your journey doesn't require a ticket.

  17. Fr. Ted Crilly Silver badge

    well my contrbution is.

    The Amine scale.

    Fresh today.

    Not exactly stale yet yesterday.

    Getting a bit rancid.

    Fuck me mate can you spell wet wipe?

  18. Dr. G. Freeman

    Scotrail say that a train is 75% full if every seat is taken.

  19. Michael Nidd

    Average Exit Latency

    How about "Average Exit Latency", defined as the number of stops required to get from the average passenger position to the outside of any exit. When it gets above about 2, the crowding near the doors increases non-linearly because people are trying to get position before all of the next three stops although two thirds of them don't want the current one.

  20. Barking mad

    The Anglepose

    The angle at which you can raise your arm before touching another passenger.

    Negative values indicate an overcrowded train.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like