back to article BOFH: It's not generative AI at all, it's degenerate AI

BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns "Yes but you can't just do that!" the Boss snaps. "Sure we can!" the PFY says. "And we did!" I add. "You've no right to do so. You're attempting to change the terms of the employees' contracts." "Not really. Anyway, they agreed to it." "They only agreed to it because they couldn't …

  1. Hot Diggity

    Best of luck

    Director: "Oooh, I have a new email. Let me agree to these terms and conditions first. "

    Now there are only two employees.

    1. b0llchit Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Best of luck

      That might be slightly unfortunate! Who will they be teasing now?

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Best of luck

        They'll keep appointing new bosses - they'd get bored otherwise.

        1. KittenHuffer Silver badge

          Re: Best of luck

          Appointing? Or annointing?

          If annointed in oil then they're easier to push down the stairs!

          1. jgarbo

            Re: Best of luck

            Only if pushed head first...

    2. steelpillow Silver badge

      Re: Best of luck

      Correction: now there are only two Directors.

      >Tappity<

      and they have nothing to do now except spend their bonuses.

    3. Karlis 1

      Re: Best of luck

      Pretty sure that third employee is the janitor. You simply do not mess with George.

      1. My other car WAS an IAV Stryker
        Pint

        Re: Best of luck

        That's exactly what I thought also. One of these for you ----> plus a round for our favorite trio!

      2. imanidiot Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Best of luck

        Don't mess with the janitor, he knows where the skeletons are hidden. And where to hide yours.

  2. UCAP Silver badge
    Devil

    Right about now we find that the PFY has been secretly training the degenerate AI (I *love* that term) on the BOFH's data and that he is about to institute a take-over bid at the BOFH's expense. Industrial civil war in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ...

    Spawn of Satan because that is what I think these AI models are ... -->

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge
      Pint

      But then we learn that the BOFH has been training his own AI and that was trained on the PFY's bot's training…

      Ding! And, they're open!

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      "Spawn of Satan because that is what I think these AI models are" - and BOFH certainly is.

  3. Howard Sway Silver badge

    You're now an infinitesimal part of a vast number of weighting algorithms

    Yes, we've all seen the danger signs, and any BOFHs and PFYs of any repute should have already exempted the IT department's data from being fed into the infernal AI machine : because we all know that feeding IT into IT will cause highly dangerous infinitely recursive loops.

    1. Terry 6 Silver badge

      Re: You're now an infinitesimal part of a vast number of weighting algorithms

      I think that this may well be what is already happening. Now I need to go and get some glue- Pizza tonight.

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: You're now an infinitesimal part of a vast number of weighting algorithms

      "feeding IT into IT will cause highly dangerous infinitely recursive loops."

      All the more reason to ensure IT data is fed into it. Attack is the bes form of defence.

  4. Bebu
    Windows

    "Grovelling obsequiousness is a skillset that AI has yet to convincingly master"

    I suspect that is actually a rather profound observation.

    It's too easy to overdo and ineffectual if too subtle.

    I am confident a LLM Uriah will eventually be trained as there is apparently always a market for flatterers, grovellers, fawners, bootlickers, toadies, sychophants, browntongue lizards, and the myriad synonyms that english finds the need to describe the variety of specimens of this genus of despicable objects.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Grovelling obsequiousness is a skillset that AI has yet to convincingly master"

      And imagine how much more money will be available for executive bonuses if AI can replace all that middle management..

      Wait, did I say that out loud?

      :)

  5. Vincent Ballard

    Three?

    Who's the third human? And how long before she quits because she finds the BofH and PFY too creepy?

    1. Popsi

      Re: Three?

      The guy from security is the third one. Someone has to keep the rabble out.

      1. imanidiot Silver badge

        Re: Three?

        I bet an facial recognition system linked to the door controls could sort that out well enough.

    2. Dr. G. Freeman

      Re: Three?

      George the Cleaner.

      He's the Alfred to BOFHman and Rabid.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Three?

        The cleaner was my first thought as well. Security would be second, but with no other employees around they're less critical.

    3. imanidiot Silver badge
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: Three?

      I was gonna say, probably the cleaner. Someone needs to keep the place looking tidy and clean the crappers.

      --> In a world without cleaners -->

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Three?

        "Someone needs to keep the place looking tidy and clean the crappers.""

        Especially the morning after the celebratory 16 pints and a large curry night.

  6. a cynic writes...

    Tempting

    So, so tempting...

  7. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    I am seriously tempted ...

    To make degenerate AI a mandatory part of our machine learning course (and the relevant BOFH episodes mandatory reading material)

    Great episode

  8. Jedit Silver badge
    Trollface

    OK, Simon, own up

    This story is far too positive towards AI to be anything other than AI-generated.

  9. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    AI, trained on Human Stupidity.

    What's not to fail?

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Terminator

      Well, let's face it, all the others are.

  10. tyrfing

    The BOFH and PFY would be bored out of their skulls about an hour after they're the last employees left.

    Who would they have to make fun of? Or drop cement bags on?

    I guess they would end up perpetually in the pub.

    1. You aint sin me, roit
      Pint

      Perpetually down the pub...

      Aka "End game" ------>

    2. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
      Pint

      You say this like it's a bad thing?

  11. azander

    Sounds like they are going the way of the Jetsons. They need one person to 'press the button' for some obscure, or externally forced, reason. Then you have IT who have to replace hardware when needed, and someone to 'manage' the, albeit small, staff. That same person probably is the CEO, so he can get his bonuses etc. for all of the good work the AI did, and to sign paperwork since the laws don't accept AI as a legal entity.

    When the AI needs someone to upgrade the hardware they call the BOFH, who then calls the button pusher to assist him. That keeps the BOFH and PFY employed, and of course the director, because they need a 'human'-like entity to deal with the outdated corporation still out there when negotiating contracts, etc.

    1. Terry 6 Silver badge

      Really?

      Then you have IT who have to replace hardware

      I'm sure that could be mechanised.

    2. KittenHuffer Silver badge

      And as a simple button pusher the job title for the PFY gets changed to 'Pushes For You'!

      1. Hot Diggity

        Nice and unspecific. So pusher can easily upskill from buttons to 'people down the stairs' if anyone gets re-employed in the future

    3. Northern Harrier

      It's the old 'man and dog' thing.

      The man is there to feed the dog,and the dog is there to make sure the man doesn't leave before clocking off time.

  12. Blackjack Silver badge

    [not being able to vape inside is a breach of the Geneva convention]

    You know, I am surprised those guys didn't end opening the door at the top floor that's missing the emergency stairs and then getting pushed outside.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    c'mon, Reg, c'mon Reg

    What the hell! Football's coming home again in a few days and nothing on this site. At least the BOFH could have shoehorned it in.

    1. Elongated Muskrat Silver badge

      Re: c'mon, Reg, c'mon Reg

      That prediction appears to have turned out about as well as the guy who had the "England 2024 Winners" tattoo done on his arm in anticipation, and, apparently, an unfortunate misconception about the nature of causality.

  14. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    To Whom/What Do Advanced Cyber Treats Pose an Existential Threat?

    Who else wrily smiled at Simon’s BOFH tale imagining it a fanciful fiction rather than realising it presently practically operating virtually everywhere there is the opportunity for Novel Extra Ordinary ACTion and/or NEUKlearer HyperRadioProACTive IT?

    :-) Would you be assured, or maybe not because of the implications of the above, to know there only be stony faces in the likes of a Pentagon or a DARPA or an AFWERX for such is recognised to be a catastrophic vulnerability offering an unlimited number of unknowable prior to the attack possibilities against which there is no possible available defence ....... as this tale surely tells ....... https://www.nationaldefensemagazine.org/articles/2024/7/12/how-to-make-the-pentagon-softwarecentric

  15. Captain_Cretin
    Boffin

    Leagally speaking....

    This would never work, abusive, deceptive EULA are not legally enforceable; at least outside of the USA.

    Has the company moved location and not told anyone??

  16. martinusher Silver badge

    Monkeys and Typewriters

    Both these concepts are a bit dated but the sentiment behind it is 100% on the money. The numbers people don't think of LLMs as statistical machines that, correctly applied, are really useful. They see it as a reducing headcount, replacing (expensive) people by (expensive) outsourced computing. They don't realize that what's being made is really just exquisitely filtered noise, noise that might result in the works of Shakespeare but in the absence of anyone to recognize it as such (except another LLM?) it might as well go unread.

    We're living with the consequences of educating far too many lawyers, sales and other PR types. (What were referred to in the Hitch Hiker tale as the "B-Ark".)

  17. TeeCee Gold badge
    Coat

    HR AI looks like it could be around for a while.

    Then again, it could be HAIR today gone tomorrow.

    1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: HR AI looks like it could be around for a while.

      I'd just be fearful of any intelligence in HR, It would make their half baked schemes to get me to behave while being paid more effective

      However, after unscrewing one of the legs off the HR bods chair and setting the health and safety guy on them when HR tried to repair it, we ended up with a nice little loop where they'd spend all day bothering each other and left the rest of us alone.

  18. deadlockvictim

    Implausible

    This scenario is implausible: the idea that senior management would allow itself to be replaced by AI.

    AI is for replacing people who do actual work.

    Why, the very idea strikes at the very roots of the system! It's the beginning of the end! The thin end of the wedge! A Bennite solution! Where will it end? The abolition of the monarchy?

  19. Herby

    I've always wondered...

    If some episodes are AI generated form the comments posted. I'm also waiting for someone to ask ChatGPT "write a BOFH episode", but it might be too difficult.

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