back to article BOFH: Why's the network so slow?

BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns "What's up with the network?" the Boss asks. "What do you mean?" I ask. "Why's everything so slow?" "By everything you mean what? Our local systems or the internet?" "Our local systems – like email. It's taking ages to update." "That's not local, that's the internet," the PFY …

  1. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    "just a change we rolled out"

    Heh, good one. The BOFH basically admits that he's responsible for the situation and manages to get dinner expenses paid to correct his own problem.

    Impeccable.

    1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: "just a change we rolled out"

      But he strategically added he had warned the boss. That must have set of alarms in the bosses mind

  2. Alan J. Wylie

    Mornington Crescent?

    I'm surprised that while visiting all those stations, the PFY never arrived at Mornington Crescent.

    1. Korev Silver badge
      FAIL

      Re: Mornington Crescent?

      Well, that's clearly not allowed under the Ealing Broadway South Swap rules, had we been playing the North Swap then you'd have been fine (see icon)

      1. Chloe Cresswell Silver badge

        Re: Mornington Crescent?

        If we'd been playing with the North Swap rules though, you would have been in nidd for at least 2 moves.

        1. Korev Silver badge
          Thumb Down

          Re: Mornington Crescent?

          Frankly Chloe, I'd expect a player of your calibre to know that can only follow a move via Arnos Grove...

        2. Barry S
          Facepalm

          Re: Mornington Crescent?

          At least he didn't get stuck at Dollis Hill.

          Bugger.

        3. Charlie Clark Silver badge

          Re: Mornington Crescent?

          Not if you're going anti-clockwise, remember?

          1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

            Re: Mornington Crescent?

            On a Tuesday?

    2. Ball boy Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Mornington Crescent?

      Now you mention it, I'm surprised no one thought to blame the microwave link. Doubtless new antenna hardware will help and Sven and/or Samantha will almost certainly offer to go up on the roof to help handle the engineer's large horn.

      1. Ol'Peculier

        Re: Mornington Crescent?

        And at this point... we've lost the Yanks!

        1. eldel

          Re: Mornington Crescent?

          My dear (chap/lady/being of unspecified type) we lost them all the way back at Mornington Crescent

          1. ROC

            Re: Mornington Crescent?

            Yeah! Where's the GrandCentral station connection?

            1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              Re: Mornington Crescent?

              Just off Grand Junction? Although you might get wet if you make a wrong turn.

          2. An_Old_Dog Silver badge
            Go

            Re: Mornington Crescent?

            Only partially-lost them. They presume you're referring to some variant of "Calvinball."

            See:

            https://www.google.com/url?q=https://foreignpolicy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/calvinball20127.jpg%3Fw%3D637%3Fquality%3D90&opi=89978449&sa=U&ved=0ahUKEwjP56Syq_CGAxW_FTQIHb5sDdkQ5hMIBQ&usg=AOvVaw0kXnjqHSOtZHOJhOsc3xcq

          3. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

            Re: Mornington Crescent?

            That's OK, Brit town names are amusing by themselves. Kinda like how the Discworld books are a really long story, but every book can stand by itself. Well, every book but the first two, since the first two are really one book split into two.

        2. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: Mornington Crescent?

          That usually happens if you invoke the HannShot 1st Rule or try the McCoy-McGann Takeover which is a bit of a Foxy move that turns into a one time use debacle.

        3. FeRDNYC

          Re: Mornington Crescent?

          Nah, I'm just getting flashbacks to playing "Give My Regards to Broad Street" on the Commodore 64, lo those nearly four decades ago.

          1. herman Silver badge

            Re: Mornington Crescent?

            This sounds almost as bad as the Great Tea Trolley Disaster.

        4. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Mornington Crescent?

          > And at this point... we've lost the Yanks

          Yeah, they have an old map, which still shows the Circle Line as an unbroken loop, and they were told to get off four stops after Edgware Road coming from Baker Street.

          Mwaaa-haaa-haa (sorry, that just sort of slipped out)

          1. PlanetEarth

            Re: Mornington Crescent?

            Nah, you didn’t lose this Yank. I thought it was bloody brilliant! I’m “havin’ a laff”! (Isn’t that what you people in Slough say?)

            1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
              Thumb Up

              Re: Mornington Crescent?

              close, it's Larf, or in some locations, Larrrrf. But you can have an honourable mention for being so close :-)

            2. tezboyes

              Re: Mornington Crescent?

              You need to be much further North for a laff ;)

  3. b0llchit Silver badge
    Happy

    Classic strategy

    A carefully planned update on a Friday to ensure ample entertainment the whole weekend and beyond.

    1. tezboyes

      Re: Classic strategy

      Nah, update on a Thursday, so when the complaints come in on the Friday you can spend all weekend rolling everything back - on overtime plus sustenance and residential expenses of course.

  4. Joe W Silver badge

    The first part of the conversation rings a bell...

    ... though I cannot find it in the archives. I need to do familiarise myself with the literature again :)

    1. Aleph0

      Re: The first part of the conversation rings a bell...

      I think it was when Simon introduced the stack model of bosses' brain, namely that they could only keep max two technical terms in mind at the same time. After the third one their brain stack overflowed, and the bosses entered "dummy mode".

      1. Joe W Silver badge

        Re: The first part of the conversation rings a bell...

        I remember he zoomed out on a sattelite map to show "the whole system"...

  5. xyz Silver badge

    Mmmmm....

    I was at a site that had a "slow" network for about 2 years. Tried everything right down to including checking for assorted handbags against fibre connections... The works and nothing helped.

    Turned out it was the auditing on a web app that everyone was using. The audit_end query was having to scan the audit table for the audit Id to update the table, hence "slow" network from the users' perspective. Created an audit_end table that just inserted the id and datetime and created a view of both tables for reporting purposes. Blindingly fast network and everyone was happy. .

    1. Elongated Muskrat Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Mmmmm....

      Sounds to me like that your audit table was a heap when it should have had a clustered index on audit ID, leading to table scans on key lookups, but what do I know?

      Your bottleneck there is most likely to be on disk access on your database server, not network, and proper fault analysis would have shown that.

      Consultancy fees are payable in beer.

      1. Martin an gof Silver badge

        Re: Mmmmm....

        Your post reminds me of the classic Flanders & Swann A Song of Reproduction (YT link).

        M.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Mmmmm....

          What'll you get?

          Flutter on your bottom!

      2. Toni the terrible

        Re: Mmmmm....

        a pint, 8 pints, a curry and annother pint?

    2. Mike007 Bronze badge

      Re: Mmmmm....

      The only check you would need to do is a few pings that would show you there isn't a network fault, and look at the response time column in the browsers debugger to see that the server is taking ages to respond... At which point "the network" is exonerated and you ask the app developers to fix their broken app. Which would be fixed by adding the missing index to the column that likely should actually be a primary key...

  6. Hazmoid

    I'm surprised the BOFH didn't ask for the boss to spring for a decent dinner at the local curry house, instead of just a takeaway. And possibly a hotel room because it was too late to go home after fixing the problems , with room service.

    1. Blackjack Silver badge

      Needed food for the late night gaming session on the gamer rig he had in the office.

  7. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Going to sleep on the train .... the story of all our lives.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Waking up on the train was the story of my life in London. Never quite remembered the going to sleep bit.

    2. IGotOut Silver badge

      Chatting to a bunch of women I met after a gig in Brixton and we had a competition of who got the most f**ked up on a night out.

      One woman from Swansea recalled how after a particularly hedonistic night out in London, she woke up dazed and confused, couldn't work out where she was, couldn't understand the locals so called her mate from a phone box (remember those). Her friend asked for her to get someone on the phone and after a brief conversation was put back on the phone to her friend. "Alice you stupid b*tch, you're in Edinburgh!"

      1. KittenHuffer Silver badge

        Alice! Alice? Who the fsck is Alice?

        1. Jonathan Richards 1 Silver badge
          Go

          Just the other side of the railroad track

          Alice... Remember Alice? It's a song about Alice...

          1. BobTheIntern

            Re: Just the other side of the railroad track

            I mean... I'm sitting here on the bench...

        2. herman Silver badge
          Facepalm

          What, after 25 years living next door, you still don’t know Alice?

        3. that one in the corner Silver badge

          Alice doesn't live here anymore.

          She hasn't, not since 1974.

        4. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

          Alice is ...

          Alice is the recipient of many encrypted messages from Bob.

          If you don't believe me, go ask Alice. When you're ten feet tall.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Guy I worked with regaled us with the story of how he got so fucked up on a night out he woke up in a ditch, 12 miles outside the town he had been clubbing in, wearing someone else's clothes.

        Which was fortunate as he'd shit himself.

        I once woke up in bed, stark naked, two naked women with me and have zero memory of how or indeed what had happened to get me there or after I got there.

        Two mates of mine picked up a drunk hitchhiker at Hilton park services. The guy wanted to go to Preston, he fell asleep in their car, they dropped him off in Edinburgh.

        1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
          Coat

          I once woke up in bed, stark naked, two naked women with me and have zero memory of how or indeed what had happened to get me there or after I got there.

          Did you still have your wallet?

          1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
            Pint

            Drunken Scotsmen

            On a two week manufacturers course in Nantes, towards the end of the course the instructors took us out on the tour of the bars.

            Following morning one of the two scots made it to the hotel breakfast, citing he'd lost his colleague from his branch of our company, after a coffee or three, he went to get the other one out of his hotel room, which against all odds he succeeded in & sat down at the table with eyes & iris's as closely closed as inhumanely possible & while looking like a rabbits pink eye with extreme conjunctivitis. He made a valiant....sorry pathetic effort to function, but opted to spend the day nursing his hangover back in his hotel room.

            I'm not sure which one of the two it was, I think the more sober one but he left the group & the bar about 3am, got to the river & headed West towards our hotel, which was unfortunate as our hotel was East once you hit the river, having failed to notice the thinning out of buildings until he hit the city limits 45 minutes later, he clued up & walked back to the hotel, arriving back there at something like 5am.

            I'll follow up with the story of the two Swedish guys on the same course (Though they didn't get drunk) they wandered into a very expensive looking neon lit bar near the railway station, failed to notice how scantily clad the ladies were, made a query of drinks & how much that cost, which was somehow translated into they wished to buy a round of drinks for all the whores.

            After they got taken for every Franc they had & kept their teeth, the following day was a flurry of phone calls & faxes, that resulted in them being given a cash advance by the manufacturer & that amount charged to their employers.

          2. PB90210 Bronze badge

            More importantly, did he have his kidneys?

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              He still had his kidneys.

              But the mushrooms and baked beans were gone and the fried bread was just a few crumbs in the sauce.

  8. Dave314159ggggdffsdds Silver badge

    "So your plan is to walk to Tottenham Court Road and ride the Central line to Ealing Broadway, change to Elizabeth Line and ride that to Slough.""

    This is one of the more subtle digs at the boss's intelligence. For non-London-based readers, it should be pointed out that the Elizabeth Line also calls at Tottenham Court Road and takes about 15 mins less to get to Ealing Broadway than the Central Line...

    1. Will Godfrey Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Ah! The benefit of local knowledge.

      I used to know London train and bus routes (for price as well as time)... but that was in the late 1950s/early 60s.

    2. Tom 38
      Headmaster

      This is utter pedantry however:

      your plan is to walk to Tottenham Court Road and ride the Central line to Ealing Broadway, change to Elizabeth Line and ride that to Slough."

      [..]

      "But on the way up Oxford Street you encounter [...] you're going to avoid the hippies and maybe leg it to Farringdon where you can ride the Elizabeth line direct.

      If you're on Oxford Street and walking towards TCR, you're walking East. To get to Farringdon from Oxford Street, you go down Oxford Street, New Oxford Street, High Holborn and then Farringdon. So you cannot go to Farringdon and avoid the hippies without diverting off Oxford Street, and if you're doing that, you might as well go to TCR.

      Besides which, you're on Oxford Street walking to TCR, and blocked by hippies so you walk to Farringdon? When Oxford Circus or Bond Street is .. right there.

      1. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

        You are in a maze of twisty corridors, all alike. There are exits North and South

        1. b0llchit Silver badge
          Happy

          Your alcohol levels are only slightly elevated (~2.5‰).

          Up is Down, Left is Right, Light is Dark, Merry Go Round.

        2. Jonathan Richards 1 Silver badge
          Joke

          xyzzy

          Nothing happens

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: xyzzy

            Plugh

        3. herman Silver badge

          And you are in danger of being eaten by a Grue.

          1. Blackjack Silver badge

            There is a Flask but you you can't get Ye Flask.

        4. Terry 6 Silver badge

          That sounds like Soho then (South of Oxford St heading towards Leicester Sq and thereabouts).

      2. Dave314159ggggdffsdds Silver badge

        That's more a question of which pub you're going to stop at on the way.

      3. PB90210 Bronze badge

        I once tried using the Network Rail site to check the times of trains from Kings Cross (Harry Potter platform) to Cambridge...

        One of the suggested routes was to take Thameslink from Kings X (Thameslink) to Farringdon, take the tube back to Kings X then take a train to Cambridge... luckily this has now been simplified this as they closed the Thameslink station and moved it across the road into the main Kings X station

        1. Terry 6 Silver badge

          This is something that TfL route mapping took a long time to get to grips with. Routing you 3 miles round wit two changes to get to a location that was a 2 minute walk away from a direct station.

          It seems a lot better now.

          1. PB90210 Bronze badge

            tfl.gov.uk is a lot better since they included the concept of 'walking'.

            Places like Tower Hill, Tower Gateway and Fenchurch St are now considered adjacent despite being on different lines because they are just a short walk apart... much like Bank and Monument have been been depicted for decades (they are linked underground by an endless mazes of passages, all alike)

        2. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

          I'm sure it did, same way Google Maps will route you over a toll road if one is nearby regardless of what it does. Turn onto toll road, travel north 200 miles, get on local access road, travel south 200 miles, arrive at destination. Or, check the avoid tolls button and it says go east 50 feet, arrive at destination. They were hoping to sell 3 tickets for a 1 ticket ride.

          1. Terry 6 Silver badge

            Or just a major road. From my house I can get to a nearby location by turning right and then left, in about 3 minutes. Google notoriously would send you to the left for a half mile or so, and right again, and along the slip road onto the three lane ring road, along to the next rather slow and busy exit, bring you off and turn right (roughly a 12 minute, one mile journey) which brings you to a point less than quarter of a mile from where I left home.

    3. low_resolution_foxxes

      Yeah I was trying to figure out if that was an in-joke!

      After living in Ealing for ten years it seemed an odd route choice

      Always more fun getting on the wrong Piccadilly line train West..

      Once had the nightmare of being, well, drunk. No cash. Rang Mrs to say I was on route home, wrong Piccadilly train, phone died, walked for three hours to Acton by mistake. Efff me did I get a row when I got home

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Reminds me of a BT Hub and my father-in-law

    Naturally, because I work as a software engineer, I'm deemed an IT expert in all related subject matters.

    On this one occasion, my father-in-law who runs his own accounting firm called me in a panic - nothing in his office was working (unreliable internet, email, file shares, printers, the lot).

    I head over that evening, and instantly notice that the office has been significantly rearranged. I ask if he's touched any of the IT cabling - knowing full well he _must_ have, and was assured with confidence that he plugged everything back to where it was.

    I walk around, trying out a few machines, confirming the reported symptoms. A ping from his iMac to google showed peculiar results, so I began tracing all the cabling.

    Eventually I found his desk phone - a VoIP handset provided by his business ISP - with two cables going to the BT Business Hub thing. One port was clearly intended for the LAN, the second to daisy-chain a desktop PC.

    I pick up the BT Business Hub, to find it is - as a possible understatement - "alarmingly warm to the touch". The poor little blighter is visibly power-cycling every minute or so too.

    I unplug one the rogue cable which introduced an unwholesome ethernet loop (unsurprisingly the BT Hub doesn't provide STP or any such protection) and instantly all returns to a state of normality.

    Poor little hub!

    1. Dr. G. Freeman

      Re: Reminds me of a BT Hub and my father-in-law

      Oh the BT business hub, the bane of my existence 2006-2008. I was on the frontline Helldesk for BT business tech support.

      I would have just taken the little thing, and put it out of its misery by your favourite method of destruction. (best I heard was as a clay pigeon substitute)

      It's more humane than actually using it for its BT anointed job.

      1. Chloe Cresswell Silver badge

        Re: Reminds me of a BT Hub and my father-in-law

        Had a client with the (then new) bt business hub 4, and Cloud Voice. It was interesting how the BT Hub, with BT provided VoIP would last roughly 4 hours before overheating and needing to be power cycled.

  10. Howard Sway Silver badge

    I see that the PFY has yet to pass "The Knowledge"

    To be able to fly solo on network management duties in several large city financial institutions, it is rumoured that you have to complete the challenge of visiting every station on the tube network within a single 18 hour operating period. Only those who can devise a successful travel plan can claim to have "The Knowledge", and be let loose on the insanely complicated layers of networking tech that have built up over aeons.

  11. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Coffee/keyboard

    "spanning tree, bayesian binary caching, flapping vlans, combination crypto signing errors"

    Brilliant stuff. Sounds like the BOFH excuse generator has gone through some updates

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: "spanning tree, bayesian binary caching, flapping vlans, combination crypto signing errors"

      It now has an AI plug-in powered by blockchain :-)

      1. tezboyes

        Re: "spanning tree, bayesian binary caching, flapping vlans, combination crypto signing errors"

        Has the BOFH bullshit bingo ever been collated?

  12. neilg

    Rest your eyes for a moment..

    Woke up in Upminster late night or early morning depending on your perspective.

    Going from Twickenham (St.Margaret's) to Covent Garden. around 1999 ish, had to find a telephone box :-(

    1. PB90210 Bronze badge

      Re: Rest your eyes for a moment..

      Had a sozzled friend get on a train at Paddington. He fell asleep, missed his stop at Southall and woke up as it terminated in Reading... decided he may as well stay put and get off on the way back... woke up again in Paddington

      Third time lucky...

  13. Luiz Abdala
    Pint

    After consulting the internet and not being able to find a local gun shop

    That went totally under the radar.

    But I noticed.

    Top notch.

    1. that one in the corner Silver badge

      Re: After consulting the internet and not being able to find a local gun shop

      Ahem.

      > "But on the way up Oxford Street you encounter a group of Vegan Crossfit enthusiasts who are in a piano accordion ensemble. After consulting the internet and not being able to find a local gun shop

      James Purdey and Sons, bespoke shotguns and hunting rifles; South Audley Street, less than one mile from Oxford Street.

      There may be - lesser - establishments closer to hand, but if a gentleman is not willing to take a stroll past Mayfair...

      Although, given the details of this sordid tale, one may find Mr Purdey (senior) a tad reluctant to serve at such an hour, at least not without a proper appointment being agreed beforehand.

      1. Bilby

        Re: After consulting the internet and not being able to find a local gun shop

        > Although, given the details of this sordid tale, one may find Mr Purdey (senior) a tad reluctant to serve at such an hour

        Mr Purdey (senior) retired in 1858, and his son James (junior) in 1900, so it seems unlikely that either still serves customers of any social standing or degree of intoxication...

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: After consulting the internet and not being able to find a local gun shop

          "...or degree of intoxication..."

          unless intoxicated on spirits?

  14. Big_Boomer
    Pint

    I need a Duvel!

    A friend was taking the last train home from Brussels Midi to Waterloo, but misread the platform number and caught the wrong train. He woke up in Paris. <LOL> He didn't have his Passport but luckily the French Transport Police believed his story and accepted his Belgian ID card so he just had to sleep 4 hours on a bench in Gare du Nord before they put him on a train back to Brussels Midi from where he could catch the correct train home. Originally left Midi at 00:30 and arrived home at 11:30. After that night he swore off beers over 7.5%.

    As for slow networks, I know of a company that after years of investigation discovered that their "cheap" network installers had fitted CAT3 cable behind the wall sockets. You get what you pay for.

  15. Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Bronze badge
    Pint

    "Ahhhm, let's see. How much is a pint, eight pints, a curry, and another pint?"

    Excellent. This will ensure the BOFH and PFY will be good to make sure the network is in top notch in short order.

    <burpsch>

    <hicsh>

    'scuse me, I'm off for another curry and a pint. ---->

    1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
      Pint

      Talking Of Curry

      Prior to leaving for work this morning & putting out the bin, I noticed what appears to be my usual curry order on the doorstep.

      I wasn't that drunk 4 small cans over 5.5 hours, nothing shows up on CC or food delivery service & my phone was quietly charging all nigh (Or so I thought).

      Guess I'm eating Vindaloo tonight.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Talking Of Curry

        I noticed what appears to be my usual curry order on the doorstep.

        Before or after you'd eaten it?

        1. PB90210 Bronze badge

          Re: Talking Of Curry

          Back in the 80s/90s, Taco Bell opened what I think was the 1st outlet in London, close to Warren St station

          Every morning there was a fresh pile of sick outside...

          1. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

            Re: Talking Of Curry

            That's a normal feature of Taco Bell. There's a pile of sick outside all of them. If you go inside, you'll see steamer trays of sick next to burrito shells.

        2. Ropewash

          Re: Talking Of Curry

          If after, how many hours after?

  16. milliemoo83

    It's back

    ""Like route path issues because of spanning tree, bayesian binary caching, flapping vlans, combination crypto signing errors - you name it.""

    DUMMY MODE ON!

  17. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
    Pint

    Ahhh the good old

    BoFH

    If you cant blind them with science, baffle them with bulshit.

    As for PFY's with traffic cones..... I've heard stories from last week about our one and her last weekend of freedom... whatever happens folks.. never go anywhere a hen party is going....

    And the wedding is tommorrow at 3pm* so I'll be there in a mourning suit and black tie** and hope Mrs Roach does not catch me chatting up PFY's mom....

    *stupid day for a wedding... shortest night of the year

    **although turning up in a wedding dress and proclaiming loudly "But Lunk(PFY's beloved)... you promised yourself to me" could be a good laugh...... briefly

    1. H in The Hague

      Re: Ahhh the good old

      "And the wedding is tommorrow at 3pm*"

      Please give her our best wishes.

      1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

        Re: Ahhh the good old

        Well I'm PFYless for the next 3 weeks... but Mrs Roach did get all soppy, romantic and nostalgic at the wedding reception..... ;)

    2. Joe W Silver badge

      Re: Ahhh the good old

      Great Nanny Ogg quote :)

    3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Ahhh the good old

      "a mourning suit and black tie"

      LOL, deliberate I presume :-)

  18. chivo243 Silver badge
    Coat

    But it's a thing! a Level 3 guy said so!

    flapping vlans! Or was that flapping ports? That was the terminology - flapping!

    1. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

      Re: But it's a thing! a Level 3 guy said so!

      Yes, flapping is legitimate telecom term. When it became one I have no idea. Used to just be bouncing, but now there's both bouncing and flapping. It's even used as a symptom when tickets are opened, and this is at multiple companies and not just Level 3.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    funny

    Funny stuff, even though as a leftpondian I'm not familiar with the geographic references. All I know about London area mass transit is that if you have a rough night like the PFY, you can sleep at home as long as you can get up and walk away.

    1. WonkoTheSane

      Re: funny

      This probably won't help

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mornington_Crescent_(game)

    2. cmdrklarg
      Devil

      Re: funny

      Despite being a leftpondian myself, I recognize a number of the locations being mentioned in the article and discussion by virtue of having played the old game Hellgate: London (see icon).

      Hopefully the current state of those places are better than depicted in the game. :)

  20. Chairman of the Bored

    Flapping vlans or flapping ports?

    From what I've heard the goal is to get the flapping vlan to work with the port. Tough to do after eight pints, a curry, and a pint

  21. Chronos

    Remind me, how did we simulate a horribly out of range UMTS connection on the boss' box? Pass me one of those pre-curry pints and I'll bring up the man page for tc...

  22. Yamosu

    Some of this reads like it was written by the great, late, Douglas Adams. I approve.

  23. Blakey

    So, if I'm reading this right... The PFY lives in Slough?

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