back to article BOFH: An 'AI PC' for an Acutely Ignorant user

BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns The Boss wants an AI PC. This wouldn't rankle as much if the Boss had any "I" of his own to work with, but in reality he has no idea of what he wants to do, nor how he might want to do it. He simply believes that AI machines will, via an AI "radioactive spider bite," give him managerial …

  1. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Happy

    Good one

    "unlike the Microsoft version, which costs thousands of pounds in licensing fees and sends all your viewing habits to East European hackers "

    I like.

    1. Blackjack Silver badge

      Re: Good one

      This Samtime beat BOFH to the joke and he had to make a YouTube video first.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWDMJ_MHHCM

  2. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Coffee/keyboard

    Brilliant episode!!

    "Like when you spilled that hot coffee on yourself."

    "When?"

    >nudge<

    "AAAAAAGH!"

    Absolutely hilarious.

  3. steelpillow Silver badge
    Joke

    Virtual coloured penclis?

    "I order a whole packet of purple LEDs for future use."

    An app to configure the onscreen virtual LED, Shirley?

    Marketing would all want it! Department Head gets the Turbo VLED!

    License fees, based on time up onscreen and renewable daily, in the small print.

    >Kerching!<

    Why, thank you kindly Sirs and Madams - excuse me while I go start a driverless car company. [H'mm, now what sounds a bit like Turbo but not too close, has to begin with T ....]

    1. Joe W Silver badge

      Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

      I like coloured pencils - or even better actual f****** coloured chalk on an actual blackboard of a decent size. Makes explaining the architecture or the stats I come up with to my colleagues (who then have to implement parts of it). And what do I have? A small (80cm x 30cm) whiteboard.... one of them. I'm not allowed to drill holes in thewall and there's no way to order anything of a decent size....

      I'll think of something.

      I'll also hook up an "AI engaged" light to... something. Dunno yet, I don't think I want to mess with the 8leased) company notebook. Or maybe a "BS detector" light, just hookedup to a microphone, which will also pick up my voice, but that's just fair ;) Should be fun :D

      1. FirstTangoInParis Bronze badge

        Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

        Someone found some money for one of those smart whiteboards. I’ve never seen any of those used effectively in a business setting but primary schools (and the kids) are definitely experts at them.

        1. Elongated Muskrat Silver badge

          Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

          I've never seen one of those that didn't have a smeared squiggle in one corner where someone accidentally wrote on it in permanent marker and then tried to wipe it off.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

            My D & D dungeonmaster has one of those soft, erasable, roll-up battle maps with manufactured-in griid lines. In the lower margin, below the gridlines, in blue, red, and black he wrote, "Dry Erase Test."

            He learnt what he wanted. Those three words have been on his battlemap for decades!

          2. KittenHuffer Silver badge

            Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

            Strangely, the quick answer to permanent marker ...... is more permanent marker! Just go over the top of the offending marker with another marker, then wipe off quickly before it dries. That tends to get most of it off.

            But if you really want it gone then just get your hands on some isopropanol alcohol. It'll be gone faster than a buttered scone!

            1. Martin an gof Silver badge

              Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

              isopropanol alcohol

              The problem with isopropyl is that it degrades the shiny surface of most of these dry-wipe boards. Use it more than once or twice and even genuine dry-wipe markers leave permanent streaks.

              At least "old fashioned" black boards could be revived with a lick of the appropriate paint.

              M.

              1. swm

                Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

                Actually the old slate blackboards could be sanded with a disk sander. Steel wool also works.

                I always loved the tactile feel of chalk on a real slate blackboard.

                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

                  And if you didn't like your audience you could also use the longest piece of chalk to draw really long lines, diagrams and underline every bit of text where possible.

                  Preferably do this with something that HAVE to attend so they can't run away from the screeching noise :)

              2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

                Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

                "The problem with isopropyl is that it degrades the shiny surface of most of these dry-wipe boards"

                What about trike (trichloroethylene)?

                1. Martin an gof Silver badge

                  Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

                  What about trike (trichloroethylene)?

                  No idea, never tried it. I'd suspect it has a similar effect though and it's possibly more of a H&S issue? Isopropyl was always a lot easier to come by. It's also a constituent part in a lot of cleaning solutions, which causes hassle.

                  M.

                2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

                  Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

                  "What about trike (trichloroethylene)?"

                  Considering that's the base solvent ingredient for home made plastic cement, probably not the wisest choice :-)

            2. Dante Alighieri
              Headmaster

              Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

              I've always used non-permanaent over permanent - it also works.

            3. Elongated Muskrat Silver badge
              Headmaster

              Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

              Apologies in advance for the full pedant mode, but "isopropanol alcohol" is a tautology; it's "isopropyl alcohol", or just "isopropanol"; isopropanol being an isopropyl group attached to a hydroxyl (-OH) group.

              In the same way, you'd not say "ethanol alcohol".

              It's many years since I worked as a chemist, but the little things like this still make me twitch...

          3. Terry 6 Silver badge

            Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

            Easily done. I happened to be holding an actual board marker, only last week, when I needed to write something on a smartscreen.So without thinking.................

            Admittedly that's only a risk in a room when you have both kinds of boards, real and digital, and are using both.

            Luckily it was easily cleaned off for rme.

        2. Aladdin Sane

          Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

          Teachers use them daily. Powerpoint wankers use them monthly.

      2. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

        Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

        I saw a computer programmers' (mother and son, Data General Nova equipment) basement. They had three walls covered with whiteboard material. They said it came in rolls with adhesive backing, like the plastic "contact paper" used to line kitchen drawers.

        I never found the stick-on whiteboard plastic for sale anywhere.

        1. David Robinson 1

          Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

          Was the son called Bobby Tables?

        2. imanidiot Silver badge

          Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

          Then you musn't have looked very hard: https://www.amazon.com/dry-erase-self-adhesive-roll/s?k=dry+erase+self+adhesive+roll

          Or for instance https://www.mcmaster.com/products/dry-erase-products/cut-to-length-dry-erase-sheets-8/ if you want a more reputable supplier

        3. theDeathOfRats

          Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

          We covered a wall with those in the developers den at a previous company. Pretty sure they came from Amazon, but any reasonably sized stationery company will probably have them.

          Edited to add: imanidiot is not as lazy as I am and has provided links ;p

        4. This post has been deleted by its author

      3. Kevin Johnston

        Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

        BS Detector light?

        While my Dad was still working in the Westland Aerospace wind tunnel (mid 70's ?) they had a presentation to some major industry group and at one point the manager took over the presentation to show his knowledge of all this techie stuff. Cue a question from the audience as to what the various meters/dials/gauges on the control panel were for. The follow up question was why one needle was creeping upwards while he was talking but nothing else seemed to be happening....Manager checks the dial and it is marked %BS

        This stuff all goes around in cycles

        1. steelpillow Silver badge
          Joke

          working in the Westland Aerospace wind tunnel

          That job must have been a breeze!

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

        " one of them. I'm not allowed to drill holes in thewall and there's no way to order anything of a decent size...."

        Go to a home improvement store, look for cheap paneling for bathroom walls. In the US you can get 4'x8' sheets ( about 8.7x17.4 Linguine) of the stuff. The plain, untextured, undecorated stuff is essentially a big whiteboard. Get a bunch of 3M command hooks to hang it. Tada, you now have 32 ft^2 (about 0.14 nanoWales) of area for your diagrams.

        The surface isn't treated as well as a real whiteboard, so you'll also need to use whiteboard cleaner if you leave the markers on there for too long.

        If you feel real fancy and have access to a miter saw you could also buy some trim boards to make a frame for the entire thing.

        1. Shooter

          Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

          Upvoted for use of appropriate El Reg standard units.

        2. Raphael

          Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

          Plywood and some whiteboard paint will also get you to whatever size you want.

      5. milliemoo83

        Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

        "I like coloured pencils - or even better actual f****** coloured chalk on an actual blackboard of a decent size. Makes explaining the architecture or the stats I come up with to my colleagues (who then have to implement parts of it). And what do I have? A small (80cm x 30cm) whiteboard.... one of them. I'm not allowed to drill holes in thewall and there's no way to order anything of a decent size...."

        And you can't scrape your nails down a whiteboard to the same effect as a blackboard...

      6. tezboyes

        Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

        How about a little black light on a black background...

    2. Charlie Clark Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

      No, nothing like blinking lights to convince the C-suite. After all, something on the screen could be fake!

      1. Aladdin Sane

        Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

        Also need a machine that goes 'Ping!'

        1. bemusedHorseman

          Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

          Not to be confused with the machine that goes ding when there's stuff, that one's a bit too timey-wimey for this application...

    3. Elongated Muskrat Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

      Well, I, for one, won't be driving a Turbot, unless they're fully amphibious.

      1. theDeathOfRats

        Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

        Then you should try the TURDO™. They certainly can float!

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

          And the UK is a world leader in launching them into the sea. Lake and rivers too. Especially after it's rained, which is quite often.

          Surprisingly, it's water companies doing it, not the traditional car manufactures! It's amazing how they have diversified since privatisation and selling to highest, mostly foreign, bidders.

    4. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

      "Why, thank you kindly Sirs and Madams - excuse me while I go start a driverless car company. [H'mm, now what sounds a bit like Turbo but not too close, has to begin with T ....]"

      Turbot powered? Runs on refined fish oil therefore organic, sustainable and revitalises the UK fishing industry?

      1. TeeCee Gold badge
        Coat

        Re: Virtual coloured penclis?

        It's been done. On the occasion of her Golden Jubilee, the Daily Telegraph reported that the country's motor manufacturers had clubbed together to present QE2 with a new Bentley, equipped with a "400hp twin-turbot engine".

        Thus 200hp turbot are a thing and have been for over twenty years now..

  4. Bebu
    Windows

    Ultimate Pleb Fascinator

    "hook the [purple AI] LED up to the disk activity connector and move the disk activity LED to the power-on connector."

    Nearly pissed myself laughing.

    An extra touch: a two colour led - say green when the disk is quiescent, purple when doing "AI."

    The irony is that it would actually work. Grab an old PC from the ewaste skip, have it spray painted matt midnight black, or Camp Xray Orange, add a laser printed stick on label [AI+ Inside], and purple led. Done!

    'if the Boss had any "I" of his own '

    I didn't parse the "I" as in AI but rather as the first person singular pronoun meaning the Boss no concept of self as distinct from anything else ie he is either in the enlightened state of nirvana or as vital as a lump of rock.

    1. UCAP Silver badge

      Re: Ultimate Pleb Fascinator

      That pretty much sums up most (but not all) of the bosses I've ever had to work with - in fact one was so bad I swear on a stack of pizzas that he managed to have negative IQ. On the other hand, the few exceptions to that rule have been outstanding!

      1. F. Frederick Skitty Silver badge

        Re: Ultimate Pleb Fascinator

        It's one of the kōans of software development:

        "Value the manager that is competent while you can, for they shall soon be headhunted".

  5. b0llchit Silver badge
    Happy

    The AI'diophile

    Purple LEDs,... just like gold plated USB cables.

    1. Dizzy Dwarf

      Re: The AI'diophile

      The pins on an AI-grade purple LED are made from 100% oxygen-free-copper.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The AI'diophile

        It's almost too bad the purple LEDs are unable to make the room they're located in 100% oxygen free. It would reduce the office noise considerably and reduce corporate costs.

  6. Howard Sway Silver badge

    purple is the color of AI working

    I guarantee this is going to start appearing on actual PCs soon, somebody is going to start adding them, then once one becomes available, everybody's going to rush to copy it.

    1. Will Godfrey Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: purple is the color of AI working

      In other news Simon has increased his shares in a purple LED manufacturer

    2. Flightmode

      Re: purple is the color of AI working

      ChatGPT is probably already using this article when responding to questions on how to build an AI PC.

    3. Pascal

      Re: purple is the color of AI working

      Microsoft already added a Copilot key after all, so the purple LED is very likely

  7. Ol'Peculier
    Pint

    New Zealand changing words?

    And the Boss loves it because (as we explained) purple is the color of AI working.

    Grrrr...

    ---> Driving me to one

    1. Throatwarbler Mangrove Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: New Zealand changing words?

      You'll get oveur it.

      1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

        Re: New Zealand changing words? Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!

        And penclis apparently rule and are perfectly acceptable here..... until they don’t and aren’t, .... as is similar to a present situation for publication and those versions of reality constantly reinvented and abused by clones of the past that have been here before and return unchanged to prove very little, verging on the practically nothing, has been learnt by humankind/Earth bound foundlings...... https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/fact-or-fiction-nasa-spen/

        Take great care and be aware ..... Words can, both at any time and at all times, choose or be chosen to create, command and control and/or destroy worlds in next to no time at all .... so beware both woefully ignorant and arrogant precocious misuse which be akin to prime evil abuse which attracts the worthy attention of forces and sources doling out generous retribution.

    2. David Hicklin Bronze badge

      Re: New Zealand changing words?

      Really could do with a Firefox addon to convert US english to proper English English..........

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: New Zealand changing words?

        Really could do with a Firefox addon to convert US english to proper English English.

        "English" is the patois formed when Roman legions and Germanic invaders were making whoopee with the native inhabitants' tavern wenches, and no more legitimate nor proper than the immediate results....

      2. Dafyd Colquhoun

        Re: New Zealand changing words?

        Translation from Simplified English to Traditional English?

  8. Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Silver badge
    Trollface

    Hook a couple of purple LED blinkenlights up to a raspberry pi, and have it do a funky display when it detects user activity or at random times.

    Also, a sensor to detect meatbag proximity. When no meatbags are present, activity can be very low, but when there's meatbags, activity can vary.

    Label it the deluxe AI, and flog it for a million $.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Blinkenlights

      The age old dummy blinkenlights! At the start of my career I worked for a manufacturer of mid-range servers. It was deemed by those on high, that the next generation would have a blinkenlight for just about everything this being the days before remote management consoles and the like.

      Come some press launch, or other such important event, the actual server hardware wasn't working cue a PC buried in the back of the server enclosure wired to the blinklights on the front. Actual version shown on the day randomly flashed the blinkenlights to appear as they would in normal usage. Of course there was a second mode that could use the 6x6 array of hard drive lights, plus a couple more rows, for a scrolling text output.

      I'll leave it as an exercise for the reader to decide what messages may have been using during testing.

      1. F. Frederick Skitty Silver badge

        Re: Blinkenlights

        "I'll leave it as an exercise for the reader to decide what messages may have been using during testing".

        Reminds me of when I wrote a C library and frontend to generate barcodes. There were two formats, one purely numeric, the other supported text. Lots of text ones got printed out and posted all over the office, until one curious manager wandered around with a barcode reader and discovered how puerile the our sense of humour was.

        1. Elongated Muskrat Silver badge

          Re: Blinkenlights

          I still remember the time when barcode scanners started becoming more prevalent (and didn't cost hundreds of pounds any more). I took one that was in the machine room of the place I was working at the time and randomly scanned a barcode that was on the side of a nearby cardboard box, that had previously held reams of paper or similar, to test it.

          The scanner beeped, and the content of the barcode appeared in the Notepad window:

          *BARCODE*

          Kudos to whoever had put that on their boxes, I suspect that somewhere there was a manager who had insisted all products were barcoded...

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Blinkenlights

        Watching the reaction of IT staff who walked past the propped open door of the room housing the fully loaded HP EVA 5000 after I'd done identify all on the disks and shelves was often fun.

        Slightly less fun was having to explain to a CEO why his SAN wasn't working after his recently sacked and very disgruntled IT manager had come back into the building in the early hours and stolen every drive from the array

      3. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

        Re: Blinkenlights

        Funny - about 30 years back Simon used a fake set of blinkenlights on a VAX to, if I remember correctly, get a bunch of lusers to volunteer for a locked room halon test.

    2. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

      The "Auxilliary AI Coprocessor"! It can be retrofitted to any PC!

      1. Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Silver badge

        Ahhhhh, this brings back distant memories of the 8087, 80287, 80387 and the 80487 maths co-processor.

        In the case of the 486, the coprocessor was actually a full-fledged 486...

  9. Doctor Syntax Silver badge
    Pint

    The offers are coming thick and fast, the urgency likely being driven by the desire to make a sale before there's any real indication about what an AI PC actually is.

    ... when I rage about it later.

    Vendors trying to make an urgent sale? I'm surprised the BOFH would rage about an opportunity like that.

  10. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    IT never rains but it pours. Prepare for both flash and biblical floods.

    "Yes, yes, I think that might just work. We could even add a Copilot license."

    It is not that I would want to rain on anybody's parade, but ...... that is more than just likely to NOT work, even with an added in Copilot license whenever it be devilishly tricky, heavenly AIMasterPilot territory one be navigating through, and full of all manner of strange beings and colossal fortifications to negotiate and arrange safe and secure free-ish fresh passage through to arrive at temporary stage-post destination with the plans delivered that supply further future travel/operations/stealthy proprietary economy-growing opportunities.

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      To build a Future Ark, are Postmodern Blueprints required ‽ .

      With particular and peculiar regard to a temporary stage-post destination with the plans delivered that supply further future travel/operations/stealthy proprietary economy-growing opportunities, here be a prime example to dare deny and declare nonsensical rather than realise and accept is both practically and virtually real, and invisible and intangible too, and thus more than just novel and quite impossible to ignore whenever responsible for titanic event leverage beyond hysterical conventional and traditional historic command and control.

      And such is the universal nature of future things in store and supply pipelines yet to come. I Kid U Not.

      amanfromMars [2406140749] ..... shares on https://www.nationaldefensemagazine.org/articles/2024/6/13/air-force-shifting-to-systems-first-platforms-second-approach

      Josh, Hi,

      That report, "JUST IN: Air Force Shifting to ‘Systems First, Platforms Second’ Approach", sharing the view of Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. David Allvin, might more than just suggest, and such would only be able to be confirmed, or denied, by Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. David Allvin himself, the future nature of over air conflict resolution is in the waging and winning of virtual battles waged increasingly effectively online with a combination of communicating machinery delivering payloads impacting hearts and minds ....... which you might like to discover is a forte of/for Per Ardua ad AstraMetaData Sources and Radical AIr Forces already deeply embedded in SCADA operating systems and in stealthy current covert ACTive deployment in all manner of fields ripe ready for fundamental change of future specific focus and general direction ..... or not, should you wish to deny it a rapidly unfolding reality to be enthusiastically embraced in favour of it being popularly branded as an existential threat to be universally feared.

  11. crosenblum

    AI is colored pencils!

    Or should we call this the Artificial Business Intelligence, where BOFH tries and fails to enhance the intelligence of the Boss, but being a manager, doesn't have much?

    I love all this AI vaporware, more ways to get idiots to spend money on stupid stuff.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: AI is colored pencils!

      "Or should we call this the Artificial Business Intelligence, where BOFH tries and fails to enhance the intelligence of the Boss, but being a manager, doesn't have much?"

      Starting from a very number makes it much easier to produce bigger percentage stats. It's easier to increase a managers IQ by 100% ( 1 to 2) than that of a genius (140+ staring number) :-)

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    AI machine

    I thought they might try to misunderstand and get the boss an AI machine - the kind that Vets use. The kind of vet that James Herriot said got nicknamed 'the bull in the bowler hat'

  13. Patched Out
    Devil

    Brilliant Idea!

    I'm going to start selling AI retrofit kits on Amazon. Each kit consists of a purple LED pre-wired with a plug for the motherboard, an appropriately sized drill bit, and a little sticker to apply on the case next to the LED that says "AI Engaged". Oh, and a tiny installation instruction sheet with useless diagrams and instructions translated to Chinese using Google Translate, then translated back to English.

  14. Flightmode

    ...any form of Copilot is pretty much worthless when there's no actual pilot.

    Ah, le mot juste.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      THHH surgical team has a surgeon and a copilot. If that's where Microsoft got the name someone in there might deserve more credit than I originally allowed. It still seems like and absurdly high-tech rubber duck.

  15. JRStern

    And for FSD cars too

    Need a rotating purple beacon on top of all cars when FSD is engaged.

    And if it's an EV better sound the horn every three seconds, too.

    1. David Hicklin Bronze badge

      Re: And for FSD cars too

      > And if it's an EV better sound the horn every three seconds, too.

      Man walking in front with a red flag.....oh forgot, that's for the 20mph speed zones in the UK. Was in Wales last weekend and observed just *one* car going at 20mph - everyone else was still doing 30...

      1. Terry 6 Silver badge

        Re: And for FSD cars too

        Hmmm. I'm happy with speed limits. Lack of enforcement so that locals know they can get away with it while the unwary get caught by a sudden change of limit and a concealed camera are a different matter.

        And yes I've been caught like that. Coming off a fast stretch of road, to one that was slower, but no ther apparent change and a sign on the (big, gentle) bend. All the locals, I realised later, knew just when to slow and speed up again. So it was really no more than a trap for outsiders.

  16. Mark 85

    Not AI but Turbo mode

    A place I worked at a long time ago in the dark ages of early desktops had a very devious IT department. This was before I changed my career path from tech writer to IT. Turbo came out on PC's and naturally the bosses had to have one. The IT lads hooked up an LED that blinked on and off every time the HDD spun up. Manglement went into ecstasy mode and soon they all had the blinking light along with bragging rights at meetings.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Not AI but Turbo mode

      Yes, possibly one of the best marketing scams in history[*] (or at least in the IT field). "Turbo" was just the new, normal, faster speed and the buttons only use was for those very rare times when a bit of software used software timing loops and got all confused at those rarefied new high speeds. It was the opposite of "turbo" in that it's actual use was "normal speed" and "slow speed".

      * second only to the marketing teams re-defining binary based mega and giga- into decimal to make hard disks seem bigger :-)

  17. Skiver

    Cool story and all, but the boss is gonna catch on sooner or later when someone tells them that what they have is not an AI PC.

    1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
      Coat

      Prove it!

    2. Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Silver badge

      Proving it...

      There's no need to prove anything... just throw vendor X (who the company bought it from) under the bus and claim they've sold you some eyewash, but vendor Y really got the real deal.

      Lather, rinse, repeat for vendors Y, Z, A, B, C etcetcetc....

    3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      If the PC's smarter than the user then the user isn't going to hear a word against it.

  18. Alister

    AI Confused

    My first name is Alastair, but throughout the company I'm known as Al.

    Recently, there have been a number of emails from manglement encouraging staff to find innovative ways to use AI within the business...

    Colleagues have taken great pleasure in pointing out that my workload looks to be on a skyward trajectory.

    Al.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: AI Confused

      Insist on only using serif fonts in future.

  19. Bebu
    Windows

    Acutely Ignorant user

    I would have thought the Boss was a Chronically Ignorant user but to preserve the acronym perhaps Abidingly Ignorant. :)

    This Einstein of manglement believed 'an AI "radioactive spider bite," give him managerial superpowers.' but clearly hadn't heard of necrotising arachnidism.*

    * hint: pass up on the pictures.

  20. Northern Harrier

    I remember turbo buttons. Just don't remember them doing anything other than pop the orange light on.

    However, 30 years later I have a Helios Predator that also has a turbo button,but this one does do something,that something being turning on all it's fans so loud and forcefully that it would be better labeled 'Hovercraft Button'.

    And it doesnt even have an orange led, never mind a purple one.

  21. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge

    Had I not learned to read the BOFH dry, the "useful as an ejector seat in a helicopter" comment would have cost me a keyboard.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      I believe they do (or did) exist. A charge (hopefully!!) blows off the rotor head before the ejector seat launches. I assume the two processes are linked such that the rotor head goes first and that action then triggers the ejector seat :-) Although thinking about it, anyone needing to eject from a helicopter has three options. 1, it works and maybe they live, 2, they go through active rotor and die instantly or 3, it fails and they die more slowly and horribly as they race to the very unfriendly ground.

  22. PB90210 Bronze badge

    I'm surprised there was no mention of installing a copy of Clippy to add that full AI feel

  23. IceC0ld

    Newest best line from BofH EVER :o)

    [quote] "So what's the point of Recall?"

    "Realistically? About the same as an ejector seat for a helicopter" [/quote]

    OMG, that got me right in the feels :o)

    I'd LIKE to ask HOW Simon gets all the ideas, but, being honest, I'm scared he might actually tell me, and then I've got to carry that burden until I get to a sufficient height, and close enough to a decent sized window :o)

  24. Dizzy Dwarf

    Betalight

    A purple LED is all very well, but - a purple betalight - what boss could resist an AI that is still thinking even when the pc isn't even plugged in?

  25. Robert 22

    I am reminded of my son's struggles learning to spell. The spell checker was worse than useless because his spelling was so bad, it would just come up with words that were completely irrelevant and unrelated.

  26. tezboyes

    Am I the only one to notice the irony of BOFH being sponsored by DDN The AI Data Company?

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