back to article California upgrade company aims militarized 'Tactical' Cybertruck at police forces

A California company has retrofitted a third-party tactical version of Tesla's Cybertruck for the police, though it's not clear if this is really the vehicle officers will want to use. The modified version of the truck is made by UP.FIT, which has made police cars out of Tesla EVs since 2020. On the surface, the Cybertruck is …

  1. Khaptain Silver badge
    Trollface

    Musk Exposure

    As much as El Reg, or a least the American Left Wing Nutjob contingent, dislikes E. Musk, I personally am grateful for the extremely large and constant exposure that you give him.

    You might hate him but it is always very interesting to learn what he is doing, or what is being done with the products that he produces. And thanks to El Reg, E Musk probably gets even more credit than he deserves.

    Maybe El Reg is moving slightly to the opposite side of the overton window ? Now that would truly make the San Fran crowd ecstatic.

    1. jospanner

      Re: Musk Exposure

      I'm sorry people are making fun of your cybertruck.

      1. Arctic fox

        Re "I'm sorry people are making fun of your cybertruck."

        It's all too easy to make fun of is it not? Late, way too expensive and appalling quality control during production. One example:

        https://insideevs.com/news/717730/cybertruck-owner-issues-1-month-pedal/

        As for the remarks regarding "left-wing nutjobs" passed by the one you were replying to what can one say? He has simply very clearly identified which type of nutjob he is :).

        1. MachDiamond Silver badge

          Re: Re "I'm sorry people are making fun of your cybertruck."

          "He has simply very clearly identified which type of nutjob he is :)."

          Yep, all of them.

          1. Arctic fox

            Re: "Yep, all of them."

            Doubt that. Given how he opened his posting I would be very surprised if his homebois weren't Attila and Genghis.

      2. Roj Blake Silver badge

        Re: Musk Exposure

        Look, it's easy to criticise Elon Musk for any of reasons including the Cybertruck but what you have to understand is that it's also great fun.

        1. Reaps

          Re: Musk Exposure

          "great fun."

          if you want to nanny your truck like it's made of cotton candy!

          1. Ken G Silver badge
            Trollface

            Re: Musk Exposure

            I think Mr Blake meant that making fun of Musk is great fun.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Musk Exposure

        I have this theory that the body design was inspired by a visit to the lumber section of Home Depot (equivalent to B&Q) shortly after the rack holding the plywood collapsed dumping the sheets into a tangled heap.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Musk Exposure

      " American Left Wing Nutjob contingent" great way to tell us your a right wing nutter

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Musk Exposure

        How does that translate to European politics - American Left Wing Nutjob = European Centre Right Nutjob?

        1. spacecadet66 Bronze badge

          Re: Musk Exposure

          We have actual leftists in the USA again these days, though still not so many. Of course, we have no way of knowing if the OP meant them, or (my guess) OP is in the large contingent of dullards who think Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden, Barack Obama, etc. are communists.

  2. More Jam

    It's tactical, new, and cyber too!

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Facepalm

      "Tactical"

      If you go to your favourite internet tat bazaar, and search for the term "Tactical" - all sorts of "tactical" tat will be returned - a couple of good examples to narrow the search would be "torch" or "knife" - the reality is, the majority of these would not pass muster for real military selection/use

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "Tactical"

        Just wait 'til kaffiyeh clad insurgents mount 14.5mm machine guns on the back of Cybertrucks and sales of Toyota Hilux collapse across sub-Saharan Africa.

        1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

          Re: "Tactical"

          The sand will blast the finish off the Cybertruck bodywork. Surely no self respecting fan-boy insurgent would want to be seen in anything other than one in pristine indestructible condition

  3. goblinski

    "...It's not too hard to imagine a wanted criminal evading a police officer in a Cybertruck by merely going offroad and then finding a hill to drive over..."

    Whereas would the police officer be driving an Impala, a Crown Vic, a Taurus or even a Ford Explorer with shiny road tires (fancily named Police Interceptor blah blah) - they'd be flying, flying over that hill, and said wanted criminal would be very, very sorry for having tried to swim against the mighty tide of justice :-P

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      .. unless his name is Trump, apparently. Sorry.

      But yeah, a criminal trying to escape in a Cybertruck won't faze the police. They can just pursue it with a diesel car - that will have even enough range to cart the idiots back to the police station before it needs a refill. They do need to carry a big metal ball though, as Musk demonstrated.

      :)

    2. Dan 55 Silver badge

      It's not for going over hills, it's for cutting demonstrators in half in the middle of town... if the police driving it don't get their fingers chopped off when closing the door first.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bodies of water

    > Tesla CEO Elon Musk says his truck will one day be able to cross bodies of water, including rivers, lakes, and even seas, as long as they aren't "too choppy."

    Well, heck, if he can walk on it, shouldn't be too hard to drive on it!

  5. sarusa Silver badge
    Devil

    Bwahaha. Please do!

    Yes, if I ever have to flee from the bizzies I will pray they are in Sports Futility Vehicles. As you said, there are plenty of hills around here that a Subaru family estate car will happily climb and a Wankpanzer can't. Or I can run through a shallow stream, the Subaru will have no problem, the Deplorean will short out.

    I mean, I have no desire to actually be a criminal or flee from the police, but if you hand me this juicy scenario I just can't help but imagine.

    1. Joe W Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Bwahaha. Please do!

      That's a new word for me: wankpanzer

      Have one of those ------->

      1. Bebu Silver badge
        Windows

        Re: Bwahaha. Please do!

        《That's a new word for me: wankpanzer》

        Me too!

        Google translate gives the English as "roll tank" ? Curious or perhaps curious how the German mind works.

        Wankerpanzer (half) translates as expected. (No not "Landbruiser.")

        Wichser, Wichs, wichsen* are apparently the German vernacular equivalent.

        So perhaps Wichspanzer or Wichswagon. :)

        Anyway I learnt that Panzer also (originally) means body armour like chain mail.

        * politely: to polish or to black (as in shoes or stoves I imagine.)

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. jospanner

      Re: Bwahaha. Please do!

      My Clio has a greater cargo capacity.

      1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
        1. Korev Silver badge
          Trollface

          Re: Papa! Nicole

          That takes make back!

          Teenage Korev loved those adverts for some reason

        2. Roj Blake Silver badge

          Re: Papa! Nicole

          The final one they did (with guest appearances from Vic and Bob in a The Graduate homage) was the best.

    3. heyrick Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Bwahaha. Please do!

      I'm hammering the upvote for "Wankpanzer" alone.

      Have another --->

    4. Rainer

      Re: Bwahaha. Please do!

      The Cybertruck will not "short out" wading through a comparatively deep stream. It does need some time to pressurize the battery, though and it has been demonstrated that it is "mostly" ok after doing so.

      The main problem of the CT is its weight.

      But off-road fitness has AFAIK never been a consideration for getaway vehicles. Else criminals would use Ariel Atoms and beach-buggies.

      The main desirable feature of a Cybertruck as a police car is its physical presence, it's brutalistic physicalilty.

      1. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

        Re: Bwahaha. Please do!

        How well does it deal with a supersonic dose of lead into its lithium chambers? Just asking, as that might be a limit on its tactical utility.

        1. PB90210 Bronze badge
          Happy

          Re: Bwahaha. Please do!

          But, from the article, it does appear they have a button to deploy extra armour...

          Alongside the 21 needed to work the lights/siren

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

    5. druck Silver badge

      Re: Bwahaha. Please do!

      There are even easier ways of escaping Police SUVs available in the middle of town's with no hills necessary. For many years criminals have been removing one of the series of bollards preventing vehicles using pedestrian paths between roads, allowing small cars to pass through while stupidly over-wide vehicles will come to grief.

  6. Badgerfruit

    Interesting that a spotlight and fancy noisebox are called high tech.

    1. spacecadet66 Bronze badge

      Surprised they didn't just be done with it and claim them to be AI.

  7. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

    Good ol musk, always sucking the tax payer's tit.

    1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

      How is this related to taxpayers?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Subsidies? But yes, not in this story.

      2. heyrick Silver badge

        Who pays for the rozzers to have all this fancy crap?

        1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

          The rozzers haven't asked for this, and as per the article, it's unclear whether this is a vehicle they would actually want to use.

          So Musk makes a Cybertruck.

          A 3rd party company buys one, and puts all kinds of flashy crap on it. They say it's aimed at law enforcement, but in the absence of money, contract or any particular interest beyond ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, this is nothing more than a rolling advertisement for their company.

          No taxpayers involved.

          1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

            Just you wait and see...

            1. This post has been deleted by its author

            2. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

              Wait and see what? Whether a taxpayer suddenly emerges from the gloom and claims they've been duped by the Muskinator because a third party bought one of his trucks and modified it?

              As others have said; it's not the case here; this is a private enterprise doing private enterprise things. It might be the case at some nebulous point in the future when and if the police commit to buying, but right now they're not involved so as far as this is concerned all taxpayer tits remain resolutely unsucked.

              1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

                You dont appreciate the multiple phases of this, you only see private enterprise and government agency. Life is never that simple, there are multiple actors here, with proxies etc.

                1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

                  It's a pimped Cybertruck, not the Cold War.

                  1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

                    You are a simpleton...

                    For example take the american media, its pretty obvious they have an agenda when they constantly praise corporate leadership. Musk wouldnt be where he is if it wasnt the corporate media policy.

  8. biddibiddibiddibiddi

    Just what they need, a remote control with 21 buttons to figure out (which will inevitably have ridiculously unnecessary modes for the lights and sirens), and jumping in for a hot pursuit but the computer does a software update and the car won't work for an entire day. And an off-road rated vehicle that needs an additional off-road package purchased to be able to go off-road. And the vehicle can't be sold off on the second-hand market when it's time to be replaced in less than 3 years (assuming it even makes it as long as an average normal car). And the officers are embarrassed to be seen in it. But at least the bicycle and Segway cops will feel better, no longer being the most ridiculous unit on the police force.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It'll probably still be more reliable and better made than an F-35...

    2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Alert

      hot pursuit

      Sheriff Roscoe P Coltrane chasing the Duke boys

      Sheriff Buford T Justice chasing the Bandit

      ...in Tactical Cybertrucks/

      Same outcome as before

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: ridiculously unnecessary modes for the lights and sirens

      I don't think playing "La Cucaracha" is unnecessary. Just think about the fear in the hearts of the criminals!

    4. MachDiamond Silver badge

      "and jumping in for a hot pursuit but the computer does a software update and the car won't work for an entire day."

      A bigger dilemma is what happens when it needs parts or service? Does the PD just leave it in the car park for a few weeks until a tech can be dispatched and a few more weeks for parts to be available? To have a $100k+ vehicle sitting unusable in a car park is a big waste of money with no advantage.

      A couple of "influencers" have proved that it isn't all that bullet proof from the factory. It will be really, really expensive to fix any bullet holes.

      1. PB90210 Bronze badge

        Big problem comes when those subscription licences run out and they're left with the basic minicab version... but, hey, they've still got 21 buttons to go 'whoop whoop' as they trundle after the baddies at 22mph

  9. mantavani

    Bodies of water

    > Tesla CEO Elon Musk says his truck will one day be able to cross bodies of water, including rivers, lakes, and even seas, as long as they aren't "too choppy."

    It’s probably not the look he was going for, but I’m picturing Jeremy Clarkson trying to cross the English Channel that time in a Toyota Hilux.

    1. Montreal Sean

      Re: Bodies of water

      At least the Hilux can sink, be dried out (a bit), and be started again to continue the trip.

    2. John Miles

      Re: Bodies of water

      I'd go more with the Hamster's Dampervan or the first version of the Hovervan.

  10. vistisen

    If police forces ever got round to useing them in Europe, the easist way to evade them would bo to tunn down a narrow street

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Somewhat stupidly the Police in Basel, Switzerland bought Teslas and then found out that the cars' tendency to phone home with its location broke all sorts of confidentiality rules...

      1. Evil Scot Bronze badge

        Interesting, as BTP have a Model 3.

        1. Korev Silver badge
          Terminator

          There was also this rather funny incident: where some cops got locked in their Tesla as their suspect cycled around the car making gestures at them (before crashing into the selfsame car)

  11. ArguablyShrugs

    "And off‑duty, it can even earn money as a self‑driving taxi!"

    *: Only with the optional Firetruck Striking Device service installed.

  12. spacecadet66 Bronze badge

    I'd like to see police forces everywhere adopt the Cybertruck as their main patrol vehicle. It'd mean they'd spend lots more time immobilized at the station and much less out making trouble.

    1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

      Police dont make trouble in most countries of the world, unlike the corporate brainwashing shithole you call home.

      1. spacecadet66 Bronze badge

        Thanks, I enjoy starting the day with a good laugh.

      2. Evil Scot Bronze badge

        Some WhatsApp Groups in the UK may prove you wrong.

        1. spacecadet66 Bronze badge

          This guy's a Brit? I'd like to see him come into certain bars in this town ("this town" being Boston, Massachusetts, USA) and say how great the UK police are. Luckily, if he tries this, Boston also has some of the world's best hospitals.

          1. Korev Silver badge
            1. spacecadet66 Bronze badge

              If you're trying to tell me that the USA is full of cowardly gun fetishists, I already knew that.

    2. PB90210 Bronze badge

      The water cannon version should be interesting...

  13. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge
    Trollface

    Musk, take the wheel!

    Will it have FSD pursuit mode? I always wanted to be a cop until I heard that you can't actually steer a car and shoot out tires with a pistol. Those 70s TV reruns let me down.

  14. Carbon Man

    ", UP.FIT does offer an optional offroad package, " I read that as "we'll charge you $5000 to remove the crappy plastic trims and dispose of them"

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yeah but....

    21-button remote to customize the siren and lights.

    1. Move Bitch, Get Out Da Way

    2. Whatchya Gonna Do

    3. Robocop Theme Tune

    4. The Distance

    5. Run Away

    6. Run For Your Life

    The possibilities are endless!

    1. spacecadet66 Bronze badge

      Re: Yeah but....

      7. I'm An Insecure Bully And The Government Gave Me A Gun And A Badge And This Cybertruck.

  16. Strong as Taishan Mountains

    you know this is gonna be a thing in wealthy Arab states soon, lookin' at you dubai

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Trollface

      Well I guess it doesn't rain much there...

      1. Casca Silver badge

        No, but the sandstorms should do a number on the aluminium

  17. streaky

    Presumably..

    After giving it a coat of paint - or a contract to oil it now and then..

    Seriously, I'm not irrationally afraid of Musk saying true things - but the design of the Cybertruck is catastrophically bad, even by US vehicle design standards - a remarkably low bar.

  18. 0laf Silver badge
    FAIL

    "the most epic tactical vehicle on earth,"

    The Paramount Marauder would like to have a word.

    And one would think that in situations where bullets, fires and pokey sticks might well come to bear that having a reletively inert energy source like diesel might be preferably over the large lithium based bomb that sits under most EVs and likes to go off when it get dented, warm, wet or a bit grumpy.

    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      The Paramount Marauder would like to have a word

      Just what I need for shopping at Sainsburys on a Friday night..

      Take my parking space will you?

      <crunch>

      Not now :-)

  19. UnknownUnknown

    Dumb shit

    Either use a proper Military Vehicle, a ruggedised SUV like a Bowler or the terrorist/freedom fighters favourite across the global a Toyota HiLux.

    An EV truck and Police Riot response have no real overlap until Logan’s Run/Blakes 7 comes to pass from fiction to reality.

    1. My other car WAS an IAV Stryker

      Re: Dumb shit

      Check my nickname -- I'd rather have one of those (Stryker) for police/paramilitary work any day. Proper armor, decent engine/transmission/drivetrain, and upgradable with many, many kits including a Remote Weapons Station. Easy enough to tack on some lights and sirens. But boy can it guzzle that diesel!

      I even hear my former employer is (again) working on electric versions. They did a one-off series hybrid once, and I was part of another that replaced much of the hydraulics with high-voltage distribution (not a hybrid -- no HV battery). I don't know the exact details of "StrykerX" -- or "AbramsX" -- nor do I really care, because it seemed all the cool projects ended up shelved (and sometimes recycled years later). It makes good marketing, though, especially at the trade shows.

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