back to article If you find Microsoft's Copilot offerings overwhelming, it's no wonder: There are 130-plus of them now

At Microsoft, "it's Copilots all the way down for us." So said Frank Shaw, chief communication officer at Microsoft, in a pre-recorded interview with Mustafa Suleyman, EVP & CEO of Microsoft AI, newly wooed from Google's DeepMind. It was not an adversarial exchange with challenging questions, but rather a cordial conversation …

  1. Andy Non Silver badge

    Telemetry on steriods

    No thank you, not ever, nope.

    I wonder where the "loyalties" of these copilots will be with? Sure they may provide some help but what info goes back to Microsoft and their partners? Sounds like employing Big Brother to work in your business.

    1. ThatOne Silver badge

      Re: Telemetry on steriods

      > I wonder where the "loyalties" of these copilots will be with?

      Towards selling you ads, obviously. I mean, what do you expect from a company polluting its own Operating System with ads?

    2. Law

      Re: Telemetry on steriods

      *logs into windows using the forced non-local account*

      *clicks on the security notification*

      "We noticed you were using chrome to shop for macbooks yesterday, we just want to make sure you know the best computers are actually the new snapdragon based surface laptops. We've just set Edge as your default browser so you can browse more securely, and for your convenience we've set the surface laptops product pages as your home screen."

  2. ThatOne Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Repent, the End is near!

    Seriously, who would let a half-baked piece of (terminally stupid) software rule his or her life? Most people of course!... Thinking for yourself is so hard and tiring, it's always good to have somebody you can trust to constantly point you towards the next "exciting opportunity"...

    If this isn't the end of civilization, I don't know what could be.

  3. Rich 2 Silver badge

    Cockroach Pilot

    “Copilot is now becoming a phrase that people use to refer to AI assistance, to personal AIs, to productivity AIs, to work AIs,"

    No it isn’t!!! It’s becoming an expletive for the turgid heap it is.

    All I want to know is how to switch the fucking thing off. EVERYWHERE

    1. Snake Silver badge

      Re: Cockroach Pilot

      You can uninstall CoPilot on Win10 from the Apps link in the Settings, just like any other installed program. As for the rest... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Cockroach Pilot

      "All I want to know is how to switch the fucking thing off. EVERYWHERE"

      EVERYWHERE ..... Not possible at this time ..... too late !!!!

      Personally ..... very possible .... just need a 20lb Lump Hammer & some time to spare !!!!

      [Everything running a MS OS newer than Windows 7 ..... introduce 'Lump Hammer' with extreme prejudice .... rapidly & repeatably !!!

      Done !!!

      P.S. This will *not* be joke in 6-12 months, if MS continue down this road !!!

      :)

  4. Dan 55 Silver badge

    MS doing what MS does

    Everything's called Copilot now even though it might have nothing to do with an LLM.

    Sort of like Windows 10 everywhere at Windows 10's launch, which turned out to be just Windows on Desktop again.

  5. Howard Sway Silver badge

    It's macros, but with AI instead of API

    It's banging your head on the desk, but with sharp steel spikes instead of a flat wooden surface.

    I read about this elsewhere, and the idea is that all your apps are going to talk to each other with AI and magically work out how to do all your work for you together. Considering just how crap app interoperability has been for the past 25 years, and how tediously difficult workflow automation has been when crossing boundaries between independently developed apps, the idea seems unlikely to get too far, but should produce some entertaining stories. Such as when Excel notices a company name on a spreadsheet and decides to mail a copy to that company, inadvertently letting them see just how much you're ripping them off. And then perhaps Exchange will look at the email in that company and automatically write a nasty email back to your company, or contact its legal software to sue you.......

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    macrotrends dot net Microsoft Revenue 2010-2024 | MSFT - Shows an upward blip in quarter results for last quarter of 2023, although it stayed flat coming into 2024. Seen against the ups and downs over time (not inflation indexed), the revenue results so far don't stand out that much - and that data doesn't show the costs. I predict there is going to be a corrective shock proportional the overdone hype, followed by years of gradual improvement at integration with AI which will add up over time.

  7. Terry 6 Silver badge

    Co-Pilot? Bollocks

    As it happens, this evening I was searching for a recipe to use with the air fryer. Not too difficult you'd have thought.But Google being as shit as ever, presented me with dozens of published recipes, and a lot of You Tube videos to ignore but nothing that actually met the query. Since it's just about become impossible to craft a query to get what you need to know rather than what Google's algorithm wants to show you I tried Bing. Which was only slightly worse than Google's offering, but did present me with a choice to use Copilot. So I tried it. And it gave me even shittier results than it had before.

    An LLM ought to be able to parse a query asking for an air fryer recipe for aubergines stuffed with minced beef- or at least minced meat, and give a basic recipe.

    Sorry Microsoft, it's not AI if all it can do is write a pair of vaguely related recipes; one with air fryer aubergine but not stuffed with minced beef ( or indeed anything similar), the other that did have aubergine and minced beef- but in slices, not stuffed.

    But it looked very impressive, as the words appeared on the screen one at a time, teletype style, like some kind of science fiction device. Designed to appear as if the AI is talking to us- but clearly bollocks. The "AI" wouldn't be producing words one-at-a-time if it was an actual AI. This is just a marketing dept's idea of how an AI should behave.

    1. Andrew Hodgkinson

      Re: Co-Pilot? Bollocks

      You're right about all of this IMHO except that "showing the words" thing really is how it's working under the hood. Despite the powerful maths going on underneath, ultimately this is a boring, lame, "generate one new word, reassess stats on what next word should be, generate next word, reassess..." loop. The little delays are the stats check on what the next word should be.

      There's no intelligence of any kind here and never has been. It's actually most likely even shittier than you thought.

      Consideration for the day: ALL text output by LLMs is hallucination. There's no difference in its modelling between what a human observer considers true or false; the "AI" (hah!) is just running its algorithm in a loop. The word "hallucination" arises because beings with actual intelligence view the completely unintelligent statistically generated output and deem it thus.

    2. Andy Non Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Co-Pilot? Bollocks

      " but nothing that actually met the query"

      This seems to be an increasing problem. Yesterday I did a search for lightweight garden forks... and was offered umbrellas and oven gloves!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Co-Pilot? Bollocks

        "Yesterday I did a search for lightweight garden forks... and was offered umbrellas and oven gloves!"

        There is more known about you than you think !!!

        On the basis of your 'known' data ... it has assessed that you will need an umbrella to keep the sun off because you burn in the sun & oven gloves to protect your hand from blisters using a lightweight garden fork !!!

        Never doubt the copilot !!! :)

        :)

        1. Alan_P

          Re: Co-Pilot? Bollocks

          Try searching for “Fork Handles”

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Co-Pilot? Bollocks

            "Try searching for “Fork Handles”"

            Purfumed or plain ???

            :)

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Co-Pilot? Bollocks

              Thank you upvoter !!!

              It took 12 days for someone to get the reference !!!

              (I must be getting too old .... Two Ronnies must be like Tommy Trinder was to me as a lad .... i.e. Who !!!??? )

              :)

    3. VicMortimer Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: Co-Pilot? Bollocks

      For decades, I was able to play Google like a piano, manipulating my search query with just a few words to get the information I needed out of it.

      I can't now. It's wrong half the time. It mostly ignores me when I give it quotes to explicitly limit the search to exactly what I typed. It tries to 'correct' my spelling when I wanted an exact match only.

      Google has been thoroughly enshittified.

  8. EricB123 Silver badge

    Uh oh

    Microsoft Fabric?

    My skin is crawling.

  9. hx

    Sounds like desperation

    Please clap for Microsoft and their AI strategy, which seems to be be diarrhea the words "copilot" over everything while at the same time exfiltrating all your data to the cloud for their Recall product. I don't know what they're up to, but it seems like a hostile intelligence service's wet dream.

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