back to article So you've built the best tablet, Apple. Show us why it matters

Apple! What the hell were you smoking? How can a market leader worth $2.9 trillion make such a massive marketing mistake as the advert for the latest iPad? Said iPad is a little bit thinner than the last one, so the advert showed all the creative, lovely things in the world being squashed flat by a giant metal press. Books, …

  1. Zebo-the-Fat

    Just think

    Just think how long the battery could last if they had had made it a little thicker (easier to hold and less likely to bend too!)

    1. elsergiovolador Silver badge

      Re: Just think

      The point is that iPad is to thin that you can ask someone to slide it under the door.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Just think

        It's not so soft as you may think. Granted, it has round corners so it won't scratch your but, still...

        1. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

          Re: Just think

          At that price, it's certainly an expensive way to scratch your but.

    2. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

      Re: Just think

      The battery life is already more than sufficient for the vast majority of users. No point (at least, marketing-wise) extending it any more. Thicker also means heavier, which means it's a pain in the wrist to hold, so thinner & lighter is genuinely better here.

      It also doesn't bend easily. Soo...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Just think

        I only use mine (Pro) on holiday mostly for browsing, booking hotels and travel etc. A couple of years ago I went Interrailing and found myself spending a lot of of time worrying about how much battery is left becase charging is a problem. If you're relying on cafes, trains, arports and other public charge points then you're buggered. 5V-1A USB charging won't charge the battery if the screen is on - even in dark mode. 2A USB will take at least 4 hours from empty, but only if the screen is off and wireless all turned off, but many allegedly 2A outlets resulted in the "not charging" message. My new Mac's 96W PSU charges it in a bit over 2 hours with the screen and wireless off, but it's a brick of a thing to carry around.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Just think

          “ My new Mac's 96W PSU charges it in a bit over 2 hours with the screen and wireless off, but it's a brick of a thing to carry around.”

          Buy a GaN charger. If you’re a serious traveller this is a no brainer. I have a 200W charger that’s smaller than the Apple

          Version and charges my MacBook Pro, iPad Pro and iPhone all at the same time at a decent speed. And mine is old hat now; more powerful smaller devices are available

          1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

            Re: Just think

            "Buy a GaN charger. If you’re a serious traveller this is a no brainer."

            ^ This. My GaN is 65W, but it's tiny; about 1" square and 2" long. Charges my iPhone from empty to 80% in about 40 minutes, and full charge in just over an hour. Also charges my MBA with screen off, or maintain the battery level indefinitely while I'm using it.

          2. Headley_Grange Silver badge

            Re: Just think

            Thanks. Order's in.

          3. MachDiamond Silver badge

            Re: Just think

            "I have a 200W charger that’s smaller than the Apple"

            That won't do you a blind bit of good if the charge controller in the device maxes out at 96W. I've seen the ads for devices that are "the fastest phone charger on the market" that are a complete scam. This is like people that plug their Chevy Bolt into a 350kW DC fast charger when the maximum charging speed for the car is ~55kW thinking they'll charge up quicker. They'll certainly pay more.

            It's in Apple's best interest to sell a charger that's sized to get the fastest possible charging times for their device. The incremental cost is tiny, so it's pointless to make a smaller external power supply.

          4. HelpfulJohn Bronze badge

            Re: Just think

            "Buy a GaN charger. If you’re a serious traveller this is a no brainer."

            I would agree that it's a no-brainer. Anyone with a brain would have given at lest one web-linkie to at least one supplier.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Search?search=gan+charger

            https://www.startpage.com/do/dsearch?q=gan+charger&cat=web&language=english

            That took very little brain and about thirty seconds.

            Oh, and for those not interested enough to look but stil wondering "GaN" is Gallium Nitride. Gallium is silicon's cousin.

          5. hoopsa

            Re: Just think

            Just bought a 120 Anker GaN charger on the back of these comments. It's really good, so thanks for the recommendation !

        2. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

          Re: Just think

          "If you're relying on cafes, trains, arports and other public charge points then you're buggered."

          This is true, so make sure you're not relying on them. Buy a powerbank, and charge it and the iPad each night at your hotel. iPad alone should give you ~10hrs of intensive use each day unless the battery is EOL, and a moderately-sized powerbank can easily extend this to more hours than is sensible to sit behind a screen in any given day.

          But I'm sure you were already doing this.

          1. Michael Strorm Silver badge

            Re: Just think

            If you're having to charge an external powerbank and carry it around with you with you just in case, doesn't that- admittedly minor- inconvenience (a) more than offset the even more marginal benefit of a slightly thinner device and (b) essentially concede AC's point that the iPad itself *doesn't* have a large enough battery?

          2. MachDiamond Silver badge

            Re: Just think

            "Buy a powerbank, and charge it "

            Also don't believe the claims on the packaging. The two power banks I have were purchased without batteries and I loaded them up with 8 18650 cells each that I scavenged and tested from duff laptop packs. If the powerbank is small and light, it's carp.

            Since I work in the field, I have backups for everything with a battery, power banks and charging that will run from the power point in the car. There's a good chance I don't have the time to sit still and use any sort of public charging or mains socket. I also have a workflow that helps me make sure I'm charged up each morning.

    3. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: Just think

      "Just think how long the battery could last if they had had made it a little thicker "

      .... and easy to replace.

  2. Zippy´s Sausage Factory
    Unhappy

    The issue, it seems to me, isn't with Apple but with what advertising is in and of itself.

    Whether an advert is successful or not depends on whether sales go up, and that's dictates how much adland gets paid, and that's all they really care about. As much as anyone who remembers the Shake'N'Vac woman is unlikely to do so fondly, the reason that ad ran for years is every time it played sales of the product went up by a ridiculous amount. That's why an inferior brand of crisps dominates the UK market (thanks to Gary Lineker), why the one of the very insurance comparison sites still going has a thing for meerkats and why biscuits named Fox are marketed by a panda that appears to be a member of the mafia for some reason (or were - don't remember seeing any in a while).

    1. Roland6 Silver badge

      > Whether an advert is successful or not depends on whether sales go up

      It’s been social media coverage for some time now, naturally, this can achieved by either a really good ad or, more easily, by a really bad ad…..

      1. Blogitus Maximus

        Exactly this. Everything's been curated, right down to the fake ass apology. They even got Samsung to make people think of apple whilst trying to advertise their product.

        1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

          I'm not so sure; it's done some major brand damage. Apple built their reputation on being creative, and many of their customers (including me) based buying decisions on being part of this 'creative' movement - even if deep down we all knew the whole BoHo hippy dippy peace and light thing was fundamentally bullshit.

          To tarnish this with destructive imagery, the exact opposite of what most of their customers fondly imagine themselves to be, and potentially open up a Pandora's box of ridicule and lost credibility for basically the next decade (Apple "Creative"? Ha! Remember their 2024 ad?) - I'm not sure any amount of short term publicity would make that worthwhile.

          1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

            To tarnish this with destructive imagery, the exact opposite of what most of their customers fondly imagine themselves to be, and potentially open up a Pandora's box of ridicule

            Hopefully it'll also make regulators raise an eyebrow. Apple crushing the competition thanks to it's monopoly over it's devices. But that's also why I'd never buy an iPad. Last time I looked, it seemed impossible to put it on my own network, behind my own firewall. I wanted to use one to let clients preview images when I was doing more professional photography, but discovered everything 'had' to go via Apple. I don't know if things have changed, but don't understand why businesses would want anything the do with their iPads shared with a potential competitor, or sent to/via an insecure cloud.

            1. FIA Silver badge

              Hopefully it'll also make regulators raise an eyebrow. Apple crushing the competition thanks to it's monopoly over it's devices.

              What would they be looking into?? a poorly judged advert?

              Last time I looked, it seemed impossible to put it on my own network, behind my own firewall.

              Eh? It behaves like all other network devices on mine? Does what DHCP tells it to.

              but discovered everything 'had' to go via Apple.

              It doesn't, and never has done. Although they do push you in this direction, but if anything it's got less restrictive, not more.

              I have an iPad and an iPhone and keep my photos largely sync'd between them, without one ever going near 'the cloud'. It loses some of the convenience that the cloud offers, but it's by no means impossible. (I also use 'Nextcloud' to give me the cloud convenience without giving someone else my data).

              I don't think they're as restrictive as you think, and if you're displaying photo's the screens really are very very good.

              As a test, I've just opened the files app on my iPad, browsed to a samba share on my server, and opened a picture I happened to have on a file share... worked as expected, no cloud involved.

              It's always worth remembering there are people who HATE APPLE (because in computer land that's what some people have to do), but in reality they're just devices, either suitable for what you want a device to do, or they're not. It's not worth getting bothered about, life's too short.

              Being a computer nerd I've had this a few times, there are some people who just can't understand why I don't have an Android phone because I'm competent with computers and Apple is 'so restrictive'. My point is I've got loads of computers for 'fiddling with', and there are some things in life I just want to work. The Apple stuff does this so I continue to use it. (Had I got on the Android train at the start I expect I'd be saying the same about Samsung now).

              1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

                I don't think they're as restrictive as you think, and if you're displaying photo's the screens really are very very good.

                As a test, I've just opened the files app on my iPad, browsed to a samba share on my server, and opened a picture I happened to have on a file share... worked as expected, no cloud involved.

                It's always worth remembering there are people who HATE APPLE

                I just tend to hate software on principle. But I may have to look at this again. But that's pretty much what I was trying to do. Camera had WiFi & Ethernet, server same, iPad had WiFi, and a portable WiFi AP so those could talk where there was no other network, ie on location. I'm no Apple expert and couldn't get it to work, neither could a couple of Apple sysadmins and seemed like the only way to share images was via iCloud. This was with the first versions of iPad and I guess I was optimistic expecting to be able to go into console mode and do stuff in BSD.. I mean MacOS. Oh for the good old days.

                1. Headley_Grange Silver badge

                  I have spent hours with Fuji and Sony cameras trying to get them to transfer pics to my idevices via Fuji and Sony apps with very rare success and a lot of shouting. I gave up and bought one of these.

                  https://www.apple.com/uk/shop/product/MJYT2ZM/A/lightning-to-sd-card-camera-reader

                  It's a rip-off price from Apple, of course, but it works fine with iPhone and iPad.

                  1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

                    I have spent hours with Fuji and Sony cameras trying to get them to transfer pics to my idevices via Fuji and Sony apps with very rare success and a lot of shouting. I gave up and bought one of these.

                    Yep. This is why I curse technology. Things like this that should be simple end up either needlessly complicated or impossible. Plus the enforced cloudybollocks. I gave up on Photoshop when that morphed into SaaS and switched to good'ol Gimp instead. But the goal was something a lot of creatives probably would like to do, ie I take pic, camera sends to server (ok, laptop), clients can see pics via a simple slideshow app on an iPad. But a lot of photographers do shoots on locations where there's no network, so there should be an easy way to do this stuff without any network dependency.

                    And for my next trick, I've been thinking about using a drone. Some of those have decent cameras now so could get interesting angles without falling off ladders, out of trees etc..

                    1. Headley_Grange Silver badge

                      If you haven't already then Google "wireless tethered capture". It's aimed at short distance studio work rather than what you want, but you might be able to make it work.

                    2. MachDiamond Silver badge

                      "clients can see pics via a simple slideshow app on an iPad."

                      I use Camranger to control my camera on many shoots and clients can install a client app that lets them see the images without being able to mess with the camera. Another option is to tether to Capture One Pro and with a 100mp camera, tethering with a cable is highly recommended. I can't depend on there being internet availability so all of my options don't require it.

                      Gimp and other applications can be fine, but for a working professional, it can be a problem to not use Photoshop. I can also find tutorials on just about anything based on Photoshop which is also very important. I could translate those instructions to Luminar or Gimp, but that's another step and not every tool works the same way on each of the programs. There's also a constraint if you use assistants. A digitech is mostly likely going to be very familiar, maybe even exclusively so, with Capture One. A retoucher with Photoshop. If the ad agency wants intermediate work files, it will be layered Photoshop formats (.psd/.psb). Trying to fight the system isn't productive even if it is silly.

                2. MachDiamond Silver badge

                  "seemed like the only way to share images was via iCloud. "

                  That's the same conclusion I came to when I wanted to sync certain files between devices. I think you can choose to back things up on iCloud or not, but to sync, it's mediated through Apple servers rather than on an ad hoc basis. I'm a Mac user, but I don't like iOS. Apple's phones and tablets are far too expensive and my applications for those gets zero benefits for using Apple products so there is no point in spending a massive premium for them.

    2. Ol'Peculier

      Oh thanks a bunch. I've now got the Shake'n'Vac jingle as an earworm...

      https://youtu.be/4q8inM0gKVo?si=xA72xwNCJruo3G38&t=9

    3. david willis
      Mushroom

      Advertising

      Just think Hoover and "free flights" - go on google it...

      1. IceC0ld

        Re: Advertising

        oddly enough, this as a book appeared in my timeline this morning, has Amazon gone into see the future now :o)

        https://www.amazon.com/Hoover-Free-Flights-Inside-Story/dp/1072819783

        and yes, I DO recall the adds, and the offer :o)

        never to be seen again

        used to work in a cardboard box factory, and we were printing boxes that carried the voucher for 'free' flights to Australia, one of the maintenance guys was going to see family out there, we pulled a ton of board from the scrap area, and cut out the vouchers, he got to go to Australia, and the money saved got him to Fiji for the homeward trip :o)

    4. Persona

      Fun fact. The woman in the Shake'N'Vac advert had a very bad stomach upset on the day of filming that necessitated her sitting on the loo rather a lot. Consequently the advert was hurridly filmed in a single shit.

      1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
        Facepalm

        She probably did need the freshness back.....as did the camera crew....

        Icon: FFS Did you die in here* woman?

        *After a M4 Chilli Con Carne, lots of beer upon getting to London, my colleague went into the bathroom & came straight back out stating those exact words (Except the last one), he didnt have much room to talk as he was a serious alcoholic & had probably caused just as many noxious greenhouse gasses.

  3. Headley_Grange Silver badge

    If it had MacOS instead of a phone OS then it would be an interesting prospect for me, although the price with the keyboard is a bit steep. They'd have to add the touchscreen interface I guess, but I assume there's no technical reason why MacOS couldn't be run on it.

    1. F. Frederick Skitty Silver badge

      They seem to be going in the other direction, by slowly turning macOS into iOS.

      1. The Sprocket

        Regrettably.

      2. MrBanana

        Every time there is a major MacOS release I look at all the "new" stuff, and find that I have zero interest in it. Unfortunately they don't publish a list of all the stuff they have taken out. You have to discover it for yourself, and it is always the removal or dumbing down of something that can only be some internal UI war to see iOS takeover MacBook hardware. Why is the Wi-Fi indicator now only 3 bars of strength? What happened to the battery percentage indicator being easy to find? Why does Apple feel the need to continually "simplify" the user experience. No doubt their logo will morph from a crunchy apple into a jar of apple puree for the easy of digestion of the children that choose to use it, and the supposedly senile of us that are forced to.

        1. Headley_Grange Silver badge

          It's worse than that, Jim.... They've dumbed down some Mac apps to make them worse than iOS. E.g. the reminders app; on Mac you used to be able to select a bunch of reminders and drag them to a date on a little calendar at the bottom LHS. No easy way to do this now and if I need to do this I go to my phone where the multi-select and tap a new date for all of them is still there.

          I'm not saying that they do this intentionally, I just assume that the overall vision is that everything is phone/pad-biased with Macs coming a distant second in terms of use-case, compatibility and support.

          I like you analogy with baby food - just open your mouth and get what you're given while Cook croons "here comes the choo-choo..."

          1. MachDiamond Silver badge

            "just open your mouth and get what you're given while Cook croons "here comes the choo-choo...""

            Given Tim's lifestyle choices, that just conjures up a need to hide in a corner and shudder.

    2. Mike007 Bronze badge
      Joke

      The mere suggestion that they should add touchscreen support to MacOS is proof that you are an evil sinner who is unworthy of owning an apple product.

      I mean suggesting that they should implement something that everyone else was already doing first... There are no words for how absurd that is!

    3. MachDiamond Silver badge

      "but I assume there's no technical reason why MacOS couldn't be run on it."

      Microsoft tried that sort of thing and it didn't go over well. Putting a desktop OS on a mobile device isn't very efficient and putting a mobile OS on a desktop can be crippling.

  4. Dan 55 Silver badge
    Gimp

    Shiny for fanboys with too much disposable income

    If Apple were at all bothered about making useful products, the Mac would be at M4 first, not their thinnest ever tablet which sits in the living room and is picked up from time to time to browse the Internet on Safari which is gimped anyway.

    I'm sure someone will be along to say they use an iPad for Photoshop. Great, aren't you special.

    1. Roland6 Silver badge

      Re: Shiny for fanboys with too much disposable income

      > not their thinnest ever tablet which sits in the living room and is picked up from time to time to browse the Internet on Safari

      This last year I have been able to use both my ancient iPad Air with ~10 inch screen and a newer Pro with the ~13 inch screen.

      The smaller, lighter (and thinner) Air is still my preference for the backpack etc. The larger one is almost permanently on a stand and gets used for Zoom etc.; it rarely moves from my desk…

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Poor yields?

      Or yields of their new M4 are so poor they can only use it in a product that barely has any sales volume for the coming months?

      1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

        Re: Poor yields?

        Good point. That might just be the only logical explanation.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Shiny for fanboys with too much disposable income

      Yeah but I bet you’d want one if it ran Linux.

      1. Tim99 Silver badge
        Linux

        Re: Shiny for fanboys with too much disposable income

        Probably not quite what you might want, but I have two Apps on my older iPod Pro 12.9 that work for me: "Terminal Emulator" which I can use for awk, python etc., that allows copy/paste to and from the native iPad Files App; and the "$ iSH" App that has a version of Alpine Linux with the apk package manager which I used to install Midnight Commander for SSH Shell links etc.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Nuclear

    What makes you think we need nuclear now.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Nuclear

      You think that spending the last six or seven decades shoving fossil fuels up power station chimneys (and distributing mildly radioactive ash) was a good idea?

      1. MachDiamond Silver badge

        Re: Nuclear

        "and distributing mildly radioactive ash"

        The coal was mildly radioactive, but reduced to ash, it's concentrated and much more of a problem.

  6. Mast1

    The 1984 meme

    "hurling a hammer through a giant glowering Big Brother video screen lecturing a gray, thuggish audience"

    But surely the recent advert was just carrying on that "1984" meme: unfortunately they hopped into the audience.

    Were they intimating that, like Winston Smith's job, they could destroy the historic record at will and re-write it in their imagining ?

    (Then, like WS, they would have to keep on re-writing it. Result: a job/market for life.)

    1. BartyFartsLast

      Re: The 1984 meme

      "Were they intimating that, like Winston Smith's job, they could destroy the historic record at will and re-write it in their imagining ?"

      They've done that for the past 30 or more years and the fanbois always leap to their defence, nothings changed.

    2. Roj Blake Silver badge

      Re: The 1984 meme

      “If you want a picture of the future, imagine an Apple stamping on human creativity—for ever” as George Orwell almost wrote.

      1. Michael Strorm Silver badge

        1984 drawn in felt-tips by a nine-year-old girl

        Wouldn't that require an Apple with feet?

  7. Blogitus Maximus
    Trollface

    I don't get it

    I don't use apple products, too overly controlled and priced. That said I think the complaining about this advert is equally inflated.

    Troll, because you're giving them unwarranted free advertising.

  8. Bebu Silver badge
    Windows

    "Apple has completely lost touch with its customers."

    No. I think they are pretty much on the money there. The typical Apple fetishist is certainly unfazed by the gratuitous destruction portrayed in the advert. Truly creative individuals that (still) use Apple kit would have found it uncomfortable viewing, I should think.

    As the back of the Narnia wardrobe. As the place where you get so much out of almost nothing.

    An allegorical allusion with Apple represented by Jadis of Charn? And their clients by Edmund? ;)

    Curiously the wardrobe was built from apple wood taken from a tree grown from the seed of another more notorious and fateful tree.

    1. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

      Re: "Apple has completely lost touch with its customers."

      Obligatory xkcd.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No such thing as bad publicity ?

    It can be a stroke of genius to make your ad campaign "news" and therefore carried for free. Who needs adwords ?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: No such thing as bad publicity ?

      Especially so for Apple, where the reach of their normal advertising is probably largely to existing customers. I'd imagine for non-Apple owners, they'll simple register Apple as an expensive brand they have heard of but don't own, glaze-over and won't register Apple ads even when they nominally see them.

      By getting into the news, that broadens the reach of the brand and product, will get some potential consumers to talk about the advert, the brand, the product. And also gets past ad-blockers or targeting algos. The trick is not to over-use the tactic or to be caught knowingly using it, as either will backfire and undermine the brand. As a high risk, high return tactic, when would you use it? Well perhaps if your sales appeared in danger of plateauing, as Apple's did in 2023, or if you were introducing something so unfeasibly expensive that simple adverts may struggle to shift.

    2. Persona

      Re: No such thing as bad publicity ?

      Genius. There is no other way I would ever have noticed a new iPad being introduced. I can't recall any others for the last decade.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I've been had

    I've agree with the article and I've been had. I replaced my 2020 iPad Pro and Magic Keyboard with the latest iPad Pro M4 and keyboard. I've gained only guaranteed security updates for 4 years.

    Despite the amazing claims about how thin and light the new one is, I've lost just 80g in weight from the iPad and keyboard combo.

    Significantly, I've lost the use of the Apple Pencil. The Pencil 2 that was compatible with the iPad pro 2020 doesn't charge from the iPad Pro M4 and doesn't even pair with it fully charged. The older original Apple Pencil with USB C pairing and charging does work! There's no exchange or trade in offered for the defunct Pencil 2. Awful.

    Screen looks the same to me, except that there's an odd wobble/shimmer from the background when an app is closed. Whether this is a bug or feature is entirely unclear.

    I should have bough the iPad Air.

    1. Howard Sway Silver badge

      Re: I've been had

      Me too. After seeing the advert I sold my trumpet and replaced it with an iPad Pro, but no matter how hard I blow into the USB port, I still can't get a damn note out of the thing.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I've been had

        your holding it wrong!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I've been had

          No .... you're blowing it wrong !!!

          No further comment, otherwise it gets very NSFW !!!

          :)

    2. Roland6 Silver badge

      Re: I've been had

      > Significantly, I've lost the use of the Apple Pencil.

      I wonder if there are other older Apple peripherals that no longer pair…

    3. DS999 Silver badge

      Re: I've been had

      How have you been "had"?

      You know you have 14 days after purchase to return it, and since it is less than 14 days since you receive it you still have time left. So quit bitching and simply return it and buy the iPad Air you say you should have bought.

      1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

        Re: I've been had

        Exactly. Or file this idiot's entire post under "things that never actually happened".

    4. This post has been deleted by its author

  11. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Stop

    "they're also keenly aware that it takes away privacy"

    I beg to differ.

    I am not at all convinced that people are "keenly aware" of the violation of their privacy. I will barely acknowledge that people are aware of it at all.

    Because, if people were so keenly aware, they would stop with Facebook, block Google at every turn and campaign for their rights to be respected at the legal level.

    I'm not seeing that happening.

    Yes, there are people who are aware. For starters, all of those who, like me, do not have social media account. I can phone or mail my firneds, I don't need a life-raping platform to help me stay in touch.

    But those are far from the majority, otherwise we wouldn't be talking about Facebook, Tik-Tok, Instagram et al.

    So no. People are certianly not "keenly aware".

  12. Jason Hindle

    The greatest promise

    Stifled by iPad OS

    Unfulfilled delights

    If Microsoft could drag itself out of its own bottom and create a decent tablet experience for Windows, they could have it all (and on one device).

    1. Mage Silver badge

      If Microsoft could drag itself out of its own bottom

      They have failed since 1992

      Windows for Pen Computing (based on Win 3.1)

      They did a tablet/pen version of XP too.

      They destroyed WinCE which once had nearly 50% of PDAs and phones in the USA.

      Then stupidly tried to unify Desktop and Phone/Tablet with Windows 8

      Win10 Tablet edition was terrible. Under powered Atoms without enough RAM for 64 bit, so ran 32 Bit Win10 and disabled sound & SD card when Win10 updated.

      Tablet mode is still poor. You need keyboard and mouse and Desktop mode for an MS Surface. A cheaper laptop makes more sense. Or even Linux. The Lenovo X201 tablet/laptop runs current Mint 21.3 + Mate better than Windows 7. Wacom works too.

      Bought Danger Sidekick and destroyed it.

      Spent 11 Billion on Nokia phone division without getting name or IP (just a licence) and scrapped it.

      No, MS has lost the plot between 2003 and 2006. Look at Win10 cf Win7 (a service pack for Vista) and slow take up (25% to 29%) of Win 11.

      MS want to sell services. I doubt they'll ever crack phones and tablets now. Non-corporate Windows and Education is losing to Chromebook (Education), Android (Not much Education) and iOS (Education).

      1. karlkarl Silver badge

        Re: If Microsoft could drag itself out of its own bottom

        > Windows for Pen Computing (based on Win 3.1)

        Ironically it was actually the best tablet experience I have had.

        A completely uncrippled OS which I can do anything on. Plus, due to the era, no DRM and all that WinRT/iOS activation nonsense.

        Yes, it was a chunky boy but if they released this today, I would buy it (actually a few dozen to last me until the next time a proper tablet appears again).

        Windows 3.1 was flakey but on the tablet hardware, none of the "rough edges" seemed to be triggered.

        1. J. Cook Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: If Microsoft could drag itself out of its own bottom

          I had the pleasure(?) of using an XP Tablet edition on some very small hand-held devices that could be strapped to one's wrist. [RedactedCo] had bought a handful of tablets for their marketing team to use, the marketing team returned them to IT after soundly rejecting them*, and I used one of those for things like inventory audit. The UI was... mostly usable. (The on screen keyboard was from the core OS accessibility features and worked as well as could be expected; the pen and digitizer were actual wacom parts and just worked. I didn't bother with trying the handwriting recognition.) As long as one didn't mind looking like a total goober** with the thing strapped to one's wrist with a USB connected barcode scanner plugged into it, it did exactly what I needed it to do.

          The downsides were that the battery life on them sucked pretty badly, even if one turned on all the energy saving features.

          (* To be fair, the application that department used was absolutely NOT suited to running on a tablet computer, much less one with a 10 inch diagonal screen.)

          (** Or a proto-gargoyle from Snow Crash.)

          1. MachDiamond Silver badge

            Re: If Microsoft could drag itself out of its own bottom

            "As long as one didn't mind looking like a total goober** with the thing strapped to one's wrist"

            Depending on the application, that could be very handy. I'd like a multimeter that's set up in a horizontal orientation that could strap to my wrist/forearm so I have two hands to place the probes and still be able to see the display. It would be a bit weird to load up like a Snowcrash gargoyle outside of a defined need. The heads-up rig described in Micheal Crichton's "Airframe" sounded really good and now there wouldn't be a need for a data CD.

        2. Mage Silver badge
          Linux

          Re: Windows 3.1 was flakey

          WFWG 3.11 with selected 32 bit drivers and Win32S and decent HW, VFW and 3rd party players and programs only lacked the Explorer desktop. We used it till HW for NT4.0 was affordable with Win9x only used on the Kids game machines.

          About 15 years ago I did a demo of a proof of concept 4.3″ touch screen Debian with Ice Window Manager on ARM.

          Sadly while the speed, quality, storage, screen & handwriting conversion of my Nxtpaper 11 is great, many aspects of Android 13, even in "PC Mode", are much poorer than Windows 3.1.

          We had NT3.51 as a server after Win95 came out (upgrade from NT 3.5) and it was better than Win95. We had the Explorer Desktop Preview on it later till we got NT 4.0 Server. We skipped Win2K and used NT 4.0 workstation till April 2002.

      2. Mage Silver badge

        Re: If Microsoft could drag itself out of its own bottom

        I had copies of Tablet edition for XP, never got round to finding HW worth installing it on. I think I still have the CDs somewhere.

        I was surprised to read there was a Win95 version too. I never remember hearing of it.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: If Microsoft could drag itself out of its own bottom

          There was, I used it on RM tablets many, many years ago.

          Just don't, there's a reason you never used it!

      3. James Anderson

        Re: If Microsoft could drag itself out of its own bottom

        And this relates to an article about a crappy apple add how?

        1. Dave 126 Silver badge

          Re: If Microsoft could drag itself out of its own bottom

          It's an ad for an Apple product that the above Microsoft products are designed to compete with.

          Microsoft and its partners have this week been showing off the latest attempt to have Windows (and a mix of natively compiled and x86/64 applications) run on ARM - so comparisons to Apple's macOS on ARM transition a few years back will also be inevitable.

        2. MachDiamond Silver badge

          Re: If Microsoft could drag itself out of its own bottom

          "And this relates to an article about a crappy apple add how?"

          Nearly every Reg comment string goes off the rails in 6 posts or less. Relax and go with the flow.

    2. PhilipN Silver badge

      MS only ever really wanted desktop. And now Cloud.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        MS only ever really wanted desktop. And now Cloud money.

        FTFY

  13. Mage Silver badge
    Coffee/keyboard

    Best Tablet?

    Rubbish. Perhaps the plan is to eventually merge iPad and Mac as single product? It's the only thing than makes sense of the spec and it would increase Apple profits.

    Far too over priced.

    The iOS id too walled.

    No SD Card slot

    Screen too shiny.

    Apple playing games with EU compliance.

    The thickness is irrelevant.

    The TCL Nxtpaper 11 is far better. As low as €250 with 128G Flash and up to 1T in SD card Slot. The TCL pen is also better than the Apple Pencil, which I've used. The biggest limitation of it is that it uses Android, but really is Windows or iOS any better on a tablet.

    1. RPF

      Re: Best Tablet?

      Read some reviews on the TCL Nxtpaper 11 and it seems to be extremely average.

    2. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: Best Tablet?

      "No SD Card slot"

      My cameras use CF cards so an SC slot is useless. Any sort of card slot has a high chance of being obsolete quicker than the device it's installed in so it better to just have another USB port and lots of them. The microSD card from my drone goes in a reader that's like a thumb drive and just plugs into a USB socket. If a new drone has a different card/specs, I can buy an inexpensive new reader rather than have a useless port on the computer.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Apple's bubble popped (again) when Jobs died

    Im an Apple FanBoy. There, I said it.

    But ...

    Steve Jobs remains the creative energy that drove the Apple vision forward, both initially and then on his return to Apple. Im sure Time Cook made a great COO, driving costs out of the production line etc etc, but he lacks Jobs' meticulous attention to creative detail and creative vision. Apple under Cook is turning into Compaq and will probably go the same way sooner or later. Jobs had issues, but Cook is not far off a cost accountant with an MBA and global company experience. Apple will be around for decades yet, and shareholders will get value, but the days of Apple producing something that makes you sit up and say "cool! I want one!" (does anyone use cool anymore?) are probably past it unless there is a change of leadership. Apple will be the subject of a future 1984-esque advert, only this time it will be Big Brother speaking on the screen.

    1. J. Cook Silver badge
      Meh

      Re: Apple's bubble popped (again) when Jobs died

      Jobs.... was a very polarizing person. Love him, hate him, but he did get the company to crank out some fairly innovative products that helped change the IT landscape.

      That's all I'll say on that matter.

      (not a fanboi for apple, PCs, or any other platform, really. All OSs suck.)

      1. MachDiamond Silver badge

        Re: Apple's bubble popped (again) when Jobs died

        "Love him, hate him, but he did get the company to crank out some fairly innovative products that helped change the IT landscape."

        I believe that Steve's super power was realizing that it was important to have R&D with some slack in their leash and he had the ability to spot the things that were worth refining into a product. He wasn't 100%, but he did do well enough to get Apple to where it is. Tim Cook has no super powers and has turned Apple in the iPhone company.

        The MacPro should be a flagship, cutting edge product but doesn't get much attention. Yes, it's expensive, but up to a certain point, that's not an issue if it facilitates a faster throughput. If I'm shaving enough time off of editing a video project and that allows me to take on more work in a month/quarter/year, that makes it simple to justify spending more money on the tools. I've maxed out the cheese grater that I use for photo editing and outputting multiple resolution galleries for a customer is about as fast now as makes any sense. The work is waiting on me rather than me waiting on the computer to finish something. It's not at that point for a video project with some complexity, but I can't afford to have a sparky come around and run a dedicated circuit for a large hole cheese grater on top of the cost for the box. The iMac and Studio are not enough, don't have the expandability nor upgradeablility.

    2. Headley_Grange Silver badge

      Re: Apple's bubble popped (again) when Jobs died

      I think you need a mix. Sure, the Jobs-type who innovates is important, but they are like butterflies and not interested in consolidating and maintaining. My biggest beef about Apple stuff is that they make a song and dance about lanuching innovative products but then let them fester in a barely-finished state. It's 2024 and I still can't assign a ringtone to a group on the iPhone - something possible 25 years ago on a Nokia. The bugs in iTunes/Music on the Mac are legion and some of them easily over 10 years old.

    3. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

      Re: Apple's bubble popped (again) when Jobs died

      AC: Steve Jobs remains the creative energy that drove the Apple vision forward, both initially and then on his return to Apple.

      cow: So steve jobs says he created everything and had all the vision....

      so why does Apple have thousands of engineers and other types ?

      AC: Im sure Time Cook made a great COO,

      cow: says who ? Tim Cook ?

      AC: but he lacks Jobs' meticulous attention to creative detail and creative vision.

      cow: Says who ?

      Apple ?

      1. Michael Strorm Silver badge

        Re: Apple's bubble popped (again) when Jobs died

        > AC: Steve Jobs remains the creative energy that drove the Apple vision forward, both initially and then on his return to Apple.

        > cow: So steve jobs says he created everything and had all the vision....

        So, you misinterpret someone pointing out that Jobs had the creative energy and vision to drive Apple forward as them claiming that Jobs did everything himself? Even though that's clearly not what they said, and not something even Jobs himself claimed?

        That sounds familiar... mainly because I had almost exactly the same conversation with you a few days ago.

        Remember a couple of weeks ago when you compared MS's lack of credit for the people who worked on MS-DOS to Hitler's dehumanisation of concentration camp victims then bleated as if no-one understood your original point.

        When the actual issue was that no-one cared about it after your ludicrously inappropriate trivialisation of Nazi war atrocities and comparison to the fate of concentration camp victims rendered it trivial and banal.

        I've no doubt that you're so obsessed with the hive of bees you have in your bonnet that you'll keep missing that point, and you'll continue to think (wrongly) that it's about the fact that everyone else is a gullible and brainwashed victim of the American media that worships Tim Cook, Steve Jobs, Satya Nadella et al.

        Whatever.

        1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

          Re: Apple's bubble popped (again) when Jobs died

          Michael: So, you misinterpret someone pointing out that Jobs had the creative energy and vision to drive Apple forward as them claiming that Jobs did everything himself? Even though that's clearly not what they said, and not something even Jobs himself claimed?

          Cow:

          I will quote the WHAT original post said about creative energy.

          > Steve Jobs remains the creative energy that drove the Apple vision forward, both initially and then on his return to Apple.

          > Im sure Time Cook made a great COO, driving costs out of the production line etc etc, but he lacks Jobs' meticulous attention to creative detail and creative vision

          It compares TWO people when discussing CREATIVE ENERGY...

          There are thousands of people at apple who contribute....one person out of thousands changes... and our poster says its all different befcause of ONE person.

          1. Michael Strorm Silver badge
            WTF?

            Re: Apple's bubble popped (again) when Jobs died

            You do understand that praising good management/leadership doesn't mean that person is being given credit for everything those under them did?

            Are you under the impression that (e.g.) historians think that Napoleon did the fighting- every bit, in every battle- himself?

            1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

              Re: Apple's bubble popped (again) when Jobs died

              michael: You do understand that praising good management/leadership doesn't mean that person is being given credit for everything those under them did?

              cow: No thats precisely the point.

              When the company gives out bonuses it rewards the management precisely because they claim credit for everything.

              We can this play happening today with Musk and his claims that that he is entitled to $50B bonus because HE achieved everyrthing. He is claiming its ALL HIS WORK and therefore he claims he should get all the bonus.

              What you are claining makes no sense at all.

              The ENTIRE point of claiming CREDIT is to also claim the rewards, and this is precisely what happens. If ther ewas no value in claiming credit then there would be no point in wasting time in press releases and so on with statements to this effect.

            2. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

              Re: Apple's bubble popped (again) when Jobs died

              Michael:

              You do understand that praising good management/leadership doesn't mean that person is being given credit for everything those under them did?

              ...

              Are you under the impression that (e.g.) historians think that Napoleon did the fighting- every bit, in every battle- himself?

              cow:

              You are confusing reality with what is claimed.

              We all know very well Napoleon didnt fight everyone on the battle field, or load every cannon, or fire ever bullet.

              We do know he did very much claim it entitled him to be emperor, and thats the point.

              The Duke of Marlb when he was given Blenheim palace very much received ALL or MOST of the credit for *HIS* (not my words - another example of stolen credit) for the victory over Nap.

              D of M got the reward and the actual soldiers who fought got injuried or died got nothing, just like modern leardership claim or let others give them credit for the work of the unnamed masses.

              Not ice your own words show you are yet another pawn who is part of the probilem of stolen credit, and like i showed, this misattribution has REAL consequences, both with the example of Blenhiem palace and today with executives rewarding themselves with billions and sharing none with the unnamed.

        2. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

          Re: Apple's bubble popped (again) when Jobs died

          @Steve

          You are doing it again, you are repeating like a parrot that Steve Jobs is responsible for EVERYTHING at APPLE. You are dehumanising the thousnads of other people at apple who contributed to those same products.

          You dont even have the humanity to recognize their contributions, which is precisely my point, you cant attribute anything to them because you dont know their names.

          1. Michael Strorm Silver badge
            Facepalm

            Re: Apple's bubble popped (again) when Jobs died

            > @Steve

            Who are you even addressing here? The long-dead ghost of Steve Jobs? Someone else called Steve? (That's not my name- and you already replied to me- and the original poster was an AC).

            > you are repeating like a parrot that Steve Jobs is responsible for EVERYTHING at APPLE

            Uh, nope. No-one here claimed that, but you seem to have an odd obsession with assuming otherwise, even when it's been made clear- repeatedly- that wasn't what was said.

            1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

              Re: Apple's bubble popped (again) when Jobs died

              @Michael

              Do i really have to explain why names are better than gts ?

              Learn to quote properly so quotes work across multiple comments.

              ~

              micahel: Uh, nope. No-one here claimed that, but you seem to have an odd obsession with assuming otherwise, even when it's been made clear- repeatedly- that wasn't what was said.

              cow: I quoted the original poster, you are lying here, they clearly give credit to Jobs for creativity and compare JOBS against Tim. Yet again you are failing to quote things entirely. You are not trying now and you are misrepresenting what was said.

              Try and do things properly, oterhwise you are just lying.

              1. Michael Strorm Silver badge

                Re: Apple's bubble popped (again) when Jobs died

                There's more than one accepted convention for quoting things. The style I use is certainly more common- and widely-accepted- than that pseudo-conversational thing you seem to have convinced yourself is the One True Way!

                1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

                  Re: Apple's bubble popped (again) when Jobs died

                  Excuses excuses....

                  Facts are using names to label messages is the better way, but you dont have the grace to acknowledge you failed too see this.

                  We all know you do this because clear pinpoint examples of what i did and didnt say would completely destroy many of your falsified misrepresentations of what i actually said.

                  1. This post has been deleted by its author

  15. The Sprocket

    Best tablet? Already got it.

    Apple really needs to wake up. The 'best tablet' is the one I'm using and have no need or desire to 'upgrade'. My 2017-19 10.5" iPad Pro runs very nicely still and is light/thin enough. But for the most part, I just use it as a digital tool to browse the web, as one might thumb through a magazine of yore.

    Nice to know Apple is still making tablets. SOMEDAY I will have to upgrade, but not now. But I can do well without the sanctimonious negative ads. Wake up Apple—you risk pissing off potential customers.

  16. Joe Gurman

    If you read reviews....

    The use case/primary audience appears to be people who prefer a good tablet to a laptop. In the case of the Pro version, the differentiator (compared with the Air) appears to be the ability to add Thunderbolt/USB-4 storage.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Best iPad ever

    My Mum loves her latest iPad, it's the best one yet. It has a built in stand so it doesn't keep falling over when on a video call with her sisters or the grand kids scattered around the world. Plus it has a keyboard to make typing emails and messages so much easier with her old arthritic hands. Best iPad ever.

    OK, it's a $200 Chromebook. And the two previous models over the last decade were sub $80 Android Tablets. But to her, and all her octogenarian mates, it will always be her marvellous iPad.

    Bless

  18. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge

    Any PR isn't always good PR

    This ad reveals that Apple is the boring, greedy corporation that people once thought they stood against. Google does their best to destroy AOSP but iOS is harder to love without a romantic image of Apple's past.

  19. dave 93
    WTF?

    No tech review, just an Ad review wtf?

    Double Layer OLED display? Not interested

    AI powered productivity software? Not interested

    Having a boringly predictable pop at Apple? Of course...

    You couldn't even be bothered to discover that this 'apocalyptically terrible vision of our dystopian future' is actually a recycled 15 year old LG ad...

    Be honest - How many iPhones, IPads and Macs are regularly drawing power at El Reg HQ to keep the site running?

    We need to know...

    1. Colin Bain

      Re: No tech review, just an Ad review wtf?

      https://youtu.be/NcUAQ2i5Tfo

  20. Groo The Wanderer Silver badge

    They say any press is good press. Certainly it keeps the more despicable politicians in the world in the news.

    1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

      The only people who say that are people who write ads...

  21. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

    > Opinion Apple! What the hell were you smoking? How can a market leader worth $2.9 trillion make such a massive marketing mistake as the advert for the latest iPad?

    Who is stupid enough to watch ads in the first place ?

    1. Philo T Farnsworth Bronze badge

      People who are outraged by an ad of which they've heard tons on negative press in the media?

      Made you look, didn't it?

      While I'm not privy to Apple's marketing decisions (disclosure: I own a small amount of Apple stock in my retirement portfoilio but not enough to make me even close to wealthy), I certainly wouldn't be surprised if this whole brouhaha (ha ha ha!) turned out to be a beautiful bit of marketing sleight of hand.

      The op ed suggests Apple buy a days worth of ads on the telly -- which everyone would *loathe*, even the die hard fanbois and grrls, after approximately the second showing.

      This way, they get the entire tech world to kvetch and moan and everyone seeks out the darned thing on their own volition. Genius.

      For reasons too complicated to elaborate here, in a long running project, I've been tracking celebrity apologies for about the last twenty years and I've noticed that whenever some singer or actor has a new album about to drop or movie coming out, they do something mildly embarassing and then apologize for it, grabbing a nice little flurry of publicity, usually with an obligatory mention of whatever project they're currently hyping.

      Almost like it was planned.

      See also Chris Rock/Will Smith and/or Taylor Swift/Kanye West.

      1. Groo The Wanderer Silver badge

        Nope. Don't care. Not even interested in wasting 30 seconds of my life on an ad for amusement's sake when they're the Superbowl "showcase" ads, never mind trash-diving to see bad ones.

        1. Philo T Farnsworth Bronze badge

          Congratulations on your ability not to sneak a peek at a road accident.

          Clearly, you're not the target audience.

          And, even so, you've obviously *heard* of the ad and are interested enough in the subject to comment, which is 99.99 percent as good as seeing it.

      2. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

        Philo: People who are outraged by an ad of which they've heard tons on negative press in the media?

        Made you look, didn't it?

        cow: No i didnt look.

        People see many things, we all see shit in the toilet before we flush, doesnt mean we rush out to buy more.

        1. Philo T Farnsworth Bronze badge

          @CowHorseFrog: "People see many things, we all see shit in the toilet before we flush, doesnt mean we rush out to buy more."

          You don't buy food? I'm impressed.

  22. osxtra

    Through Thick and Thin

    I'd say Samsung crushed it.

  23. chriskno

    "You were the brand of liberation," Really? The walled garden that you spend a fortune to be part of, that controls you and restricts your choice massively. Funny how we all see the world differently isn't it?

  24. tiggity Silver badge

    Thin

    My (distinctly non tech fan) partner likes Apple products & has an iPad & iPhone.

    Doubt she cares about thickness though as for, every tablet she has had*, she has purchased a protective cover (one that folds to be a "stand" if required) - so instantly a lot thicker (but a bit more protected) - she may be atypical (as she does not care if logo is hidden, indeed quite happy that any randoms on the train cannot instantly see it's an Apple product & a more likely theft target)

    * Except the first, which got knocked on crowded standing room only commuter train (when in a rucksack) & gained a cracked screen, hence covers ever since!

  25. MachDiamond Silver badge

    Why didn't they

    I can think of a much better ad with the positive slant that the iPad condenses all of those things into the device rather than them being tossed on a tip. It's still a massive lie, but not as negative.

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