back to article AI Catholic 'priest' defrocked after recommending Gatorade baptism

An attempt by a Catholic advocacy group to spread the word of God using an AI model has backfired, and chat bot – Father Justin – has been pulled down and reworked. The group's Catholic Answers website contains answers to commonly asked questions from those confused by the good book. Father Justin was supposed to aid this, by …

  1. laurence brothers
    FAIL

    hellish simulation

    Surely this is a mortal sin of some kind? Simony, perhaps? Is there no comment from the official Catholic hierarchy on this debased and degraded attempt to dilute their faith with hallucinatory blasphemy and heresy? This really seems like a project that Screwtape would have initiated and then been horrified at the actual results.

    1. unimaginative
      Angel

      Re: hellish simulation

      The group is not part of the church organisationally. A stupid but well intentioned tech project is hardly something terrible.

      1. spireite Silver badge

        Re: hellish simulation

        Ironically, though they aren't part of the church, they are more likely to follow the faith properly than the church actually does.

      2. Pascal Monett Silver badge
        FAIL

        Re: hellish simulation

        Hell is paved with good intentions.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: hellish simulation

          The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

          Hell itself is paved with those nasty terracotta tiles that get insanely slippery when they are wet, driving people to blasphemy (and the A&E dept of your local hospital). They are one of Satan's many micro-aggressions

          1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
            Mushroom

            Re: hellish simulation

            If you are in Blighty, the road to hell is almost any road, full of potholes after years of budget cuts and neglect.

        2. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

          Re: hellish simulation

          Actually, the road to hell is paved with door-to-door salespeople. In the winter, some of the lesser demons go ice-skating on them.*

          (* With so many thanks to Neil G and Sir Pterry)

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Interesting naming

    "How is it Father?"

    "It's Justin"

    1. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

      Or

      "Justin...credible"

      C.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Or

        Using contraception, I hope. Justin case.

        Remember, kiddies, pulling out Justin time leads to pregnancy.

    2. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: Interesting naming

      Uh-oh. I think someone needs a reverse exorcism.

      1. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

        Re: Interesting naming

        Ironically, for an organisation where the flames usually come after the judgement.

    3. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

      Re: Interesting naming

      Must be running on Intel's new Timber Lake™ processors.

  3. unimaginative
    Angel

    'Of course, there wouldn't be a need for this if people professing to be Christians – or indeed any doctrinal faith – would actually read the rule book of their religion. You might be surprised at the contents.'

    Christianity does not have a rule book as such. Unless you count this VERY short one: https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2022:36-40&version=NIV

    1. Paul Herber Silver badge

      Rule 1: NO

      Rule 2: see Rule 1

    2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      Ada

      Is my deity

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Ada

        I C.

    3. jake Silver badge

      And before some xtian tries to bring up "the ten commandments", I strongly suggest you look into where the current set came from, and why. They are not what you think they are. Your shamans have been lying to you.

      1. Denarius Silver badge

        ten commandments

        Jake, please do enlighten us. Granted earlier Hebrew and the tribal refugees out of the superpower of the day had a very different culture, if one could call it that. You will not steal appears (how does anyone now know what was in someones mind 3500 years ago ?) to have started as including kidnapping for selling into slavery. But then, when teaching, one starts with the simple stuff. Dont do X, Do this etc. Not sophisticated but neither was the intended audience. Context is nearly everything.

        As for lying shamans, given the last 50 years of failed predictions and assertions from, (drum roll please) Science), let along the various failed Utopian nightmares inflicted in the name of justice, equality etc, then the current ruins of Western culture has many more BS artists in authority given robes and titles than any previous attempt at civilisation. For an insiders view of current science process, the erudite Sabine Hassenfelder has a video on her despair at how the research community works now. Trigger Warning. German deadpan humour ahead.

        1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

          Re: ten commandments

          The bible says many things but it never says slavery is wrong....

          Abraham who spoke to god on a regular basis had 300+ slaves...god never tells him once to free them.

          1. Bill Gray

            Re: ten commandments

            I vaguely recall that Leviticus requires your slaves to come from other lands. Which does suggest that slaves from other lands are fine. US Southerners were/are mostly correct in saying that slavery was Biblically endorsed.

            Ah, here we are... Leviticus 25:44-46 :

            44 Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves.

            45 You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property.

            46 You can bequeath them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life, but you must not rule over your fellow Israelites ruthlessly.

        2. heyrick Silver badge

          Re: ten commandments

          "As for lying shamans, given the last 50 years of failed predictions and assertions from, (drum roll please) Science"

          Science, like medicine and education and anything else, is full of bullshit and charlatans. However, in the past fifty years science has given us a hell of a lot. There's a pretty good chance that some of you are reading this on a little bit of tech that, in my childhood, would have seemed as ridiculous and fanciful as owning a Star Trek Tricorder.

          So, on the balance of things if you look at "science" in general, we're understanding more about the world, we're putting more and more technology to use (not always in good ways), our cars are safer, our transport is safer (Boeing excepted), our power is less polluting, we're making advances against cancer and Alzheimer's, autistic people are better understood (instead of being the "weirdo retards" (actual quote) that nobody wants to talk to) and yes, we've even managed to fly a helicopter on another world.

          So, for every bit of bullshit in science (and it seems to me that a lot of that is largely in the field of quantum physics that is so mind screwy that you could probably propose anything), I can point you to literally hundreds of useful real world advances. Even if it's something as mundane as cooking a better slice of toast.

          Can you say the same about religion? Because, you know, that sky fairy is still up there watching hundreds of thousands of us slaughter each other because we can't agree on what the sky fairy actually is. And when we're not doing that, we're going out of our way to make life increasingly shitty for half the population because, what, a bunch of psychotic manchildren are scared of the menstrual cycle or something?

          1. TimMaher Silver badge
            Coat

            Re: a better slice of toast.

            Is that the one that lands butter side up?

            1. gnasher729 Silver badge

              Re: a better slice of toast.

              "Is that the one that lands butter side up?"

              If it lands butter side down, you can pick it up and check if it's dirty. So that's not the worst case.

        3. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

          Re: ten commandments

          Science works because its predictions fail. It's how you know you need a different idea.

          Charlatans work because people don't think scientifically.

          Religions work because of a bug exploit of that last observation.

        4. Mooseman Silver badge

          Re: ten commandments

          " 50 years of failed predictions and assertions"

          Such as?

          I could list hundreds of failed religious predictions for the same period that all say the end of the world is nigh, yet here we are.

      2. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

        Its funny how they are called the 10 commandments, becaue if you actually count them... you will realise there arent 10.

        1. sanmigueelbeer
          Coat

          11th Commandment

          11th Commandment: Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife but if thy neighbor's wife covets you, then, thou shall not refuse.

          1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

            Re: 11th Commandment

            Nope.

            Thy neighbours wife is thy neighbours property and thats already coveted by thy shall not steal.

            But dont worry if you covet thy neighbours virgin daughter you can rape her for 20 coins, but remember its important you pay the 20 coins and marry her, and in fine middle east tradition, her opinion doesnt count.

            4) Laws of Rape (Deuteronomy 22:28-29 NAB)

            If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her.

            1. heyrick Silver badge

              Re: 11th Commandment

              "its important you pay the 20 coins" [...] "he must pay fifty pieces of silver"

              I think I see a problem here.

              1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

                Re: 11th Commandment

                Yeh the real problem with my statement is i got the number wrong, not the fact the rapist gets to buy the virgin.

                Im going to guess your American, only an american would be worried about the father not getting his full 50 coins and completely ignore the real crime of raping a poor defencelss woman.

        2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

          Were the ancients counting in base 10 or, perhaps 16 ? If so, where are the rest. Alternatively, binary, and quite a few have been added since

        3. Rich 11 Silver badge

          613. But don't ask me to list all of them from memory. With luck you'll be able to find them already written down somewhere. Probably.

          1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

            613 is the mizvot - the full list of laws from god in the OT.

        4. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
          Happy

          Moses, in History of the World, Part I:

          "Hear me, O Israel! The Lord thy God has given me these fifteen [drops one tablet, which breaks into pieces]...Oy!...ten...TEN commandments for all to obey!"

          Mel Brooks is a national treasure.

          1. Bill Gray

            Can't remember where I saw a cartoon, Moses holding tablets and speaking to a crowd :

            "The good news is, I got Him down to ten. The bad news is, adultery is still in."

    4. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

      Exactly if christians read their book they wouldnt be christians any longer.

      For starters jesus and his followers were not CALLED christians, the word christian NEVER appears in the gospels, jesus never calls his followers, the apostles never use the word.

      Secondly Jesus himself says to only call GOD the father, so catholics calling priests etc father are breaking the number 1 law of jesus.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        'jesus' never said anything, it's a fictional character.

        If you're going to argue about what a fictional character said or did, might as well argue about one that matters: Han shot first.

        1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

          Not discussing whether he is real or fictional, im simply stating that the character of Jesus or his apostles never uses the word christian

      2. Snake Silver badge

        very true

        As an X-xristian, who did go though some of their religious edumication, I have a personal truism:

        "If you were raised Christian but didn't turn atheist...you didn't listen to your religious teaches well enough."

      3. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
        Joke

        catholics calling priests etc father

        unless of course, the priest happens to be their... father

      4. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
        Joke

        Dave Allen

        Absoultely no AI was used in the production of these

        Angry Nun

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiawHyLKnks

        On Religion

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G43bObLAQt8

      5. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
        Coat

        For starters jesus and his followers were not CALLED christians

        There's always... Brian

        1. Rich 11 Silver badge

          A man called... Brian.

      6. Ochib

        The first Christians didn’t call themselves Christians. They called themselves “The Way” (referring to Isaiah 30:3), but they were called by other Jews “The Nazarenes”. Christians was actually a derogatory term used by non-believers to belittle the faith in Antioch, as it meant “Little Christs”. But the name caught on around 100 ce.

  4. chuckufarley Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Mathew 22:37-40...

    ...Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

    Down with the False Profits. Up with the Dividends.

    1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

      Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

      First of all Jesus was quoting the old OT when he repeated those two laws...secondly if you read a few lines after the SECOND LOVE THY neighbour in the OT, there are laws about slavery...

      WHyw ould jesus who authored the OT, write laws about slavery ?

      1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

        Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

        oh yes the down voters, who cant accept the basic truth that jesus is an areshole who wrote laws in the OT to support evil slavery, just like muslims who cant accept taht Mohammad was no different.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

          jesus didn't write anything.

          It's a fictional character.

          And yes, mohammed was no different, it was also a fictional character. It seems that much like with the mythical jesus, nobody actually wrote down anything about 'mohammed' until many years after 'he' supposedly died. There are no contemporary records of a human mohammed ever having existed, only the later religious propaganda exists. Sadly, it's only recently that scholars have begun to realize that the probability that both supposed religious figures were simply invented by hucksters seeking to profit from the gullible is far greater than them actually having any human as the basis for the myths.

          1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

            Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

            Thats precisely my point. Jesus and Mohammad are just puppets of the rich people who "kindly shared" their holy writings.

            We only know about Jesus and Mo because the Roman Emperors and Muslim caliphs wnated us too know, you know the same people who killed people for power, so why would anyoen think they are sharing their stories because its the "right" (tm) thing to do.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

        WHyw ould jesus who authored the OT, write laws about slavery ?

        Most of the books of the OT long predate Jesus, and in any case the ones that make up the current OT were carefully selected by theological scholars at various times between 300AD and the reformation. Even if we accept that Jesus existed around 0AD he probably wouldn't recognise the OT as we see it today.

        1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

          Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

          My point is the bible was written by rich powerful people... the same people who wanted slaves, so its hardly a shock their stories say god wants them to have slaves. Rich people dont like giving money away, so guess what the bible doesnt say god wants rich people to help poor people, so they dont.

      3. Antron Argaiv Silver badge

        Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

        Religion and logic are incompatible.

        Just don't be a dick...and if you can do something nice for others along the way, so much the better.

        That about covers it.

        1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

          Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

          No.. again you dont appreciate WHY the religion was invented and WHY that group or persons are BEST of INTEREST in everything OBEYING what they (sorry they are only repeating what god wants).

          From Evangl America, to Christians to Islam in the middle east, the answer to what god wants is what does the leader want. Funny that, when you understand who is the puppetter you understand what "god" wants.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

            I don't quite understand why you're so adamant that the bible requires people to do what "the leader" wants. It's certainly possible to read some parts of it that way (especially in the King James Version), but it's far from the only way.

            1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

              Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

              It's so varied and ambiguous that you can find justification for almost any behaviour, good or bad, in the bible. That's why the church was so upset by the reformation. Allowing ordinary people to read the bible, in their own language, would stop the priests from interpreting it as they wanted to, and remove their control over people's lives (and money).

              1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

                Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

                Only YOU can , because you can read and reason. For most of human history few people ever saw the bible and they could hardly challenge anything because well the church would kill you on the spot.

              2. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

                Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

                Phil:It's so varied and ambiguous that you can find justification for almost any behaviour, good or bad, in the bible.

                cow: Thts mostly untrue, the fact is people lie about what the bible says eg (calling priests father) or they just make up stuff (eg chrsitamas, xmas trees etc).

                When you eliminate all that, the bible is actually pretty easy to read. Problem is people cant accept what it says so they invent stuff, which is why we have tousands of different christian religions.

            2. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

              Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

              Because you dont understand your history. Im not saying religions are always successful but they have been for a long time.

              AC: I don't quite understand why you're so adamant that the bible requires people to do what "the leader" wants.

              cow: THe jewish people have been praying for the son of David to return and rule them...

              Christians want another son of david to return and rule them , aka Jesus.

              Muslims have a schism today where teh two halfs are arguing and have been killing each other for 1400 years (Sunni v shia), because they cant agree who is the leader (caliph) of all muslims on earth.

              Can you see a theme here ?

              You just dont understand that for a long time people actually believe that their ruler was chosen by god.

              It was a real problem.

              For example during the English civil war, they found Charles guilty, but parliaent didnt want to kill him even though he was guilty because they all felt he was speically chosen by god. yes The English felt that Charles was a Messiah.

              1. Mooseman Silver badge

                Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

                "The English felt that Charles was a Messiah"

                No. You're confusing the divine right of kings with actually being a messiah. Kings were considered divinely appointed (conveniently) so that getting rid of a king or queen would go against god and upset the natural balance of the world - look at any Shakespeare play where a king is usurped, there are natural disasters, unusual phenomena etc etc as a consequence.

                1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

                  Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

                  @Mooseman.

                  NO.

                  The word Messiah means chosen one. There are dozens of Messiah in the bible. Cyrus the gReat is called a Messiah because he did "gods will"(tm) when he conquered Babylon and freed the jews.

                  Every single king and priest is a messiah, the act of pouring oil on their head is the ritual. The european kings continued this because they also pretended they were chosen by god, and most of european played along.

                  Jesus is just one of many messiahs, when he got oil poured on his head, he was simply continuing an old tradition, he wasnt the first and he wasnt the last. Anyone can pour oil on their head and call themselves messiah, and basically anyone did/does.

                  1. Mooseman Silver badge

                    Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

                    "Every single king and priest is a messiah, the act of pouring oil on their head is the ritual"

                    That's a tenuous definition, sorry. No English king has ever been called a messiah - the term messiah has definite connotations in English, and merely annointing people (how often does a monarch do that?) does not make you a messiah. Nobody thought Charles I (as per your example) was a messiah (I will resist the Monty Python quote) - a monarch was seen to be divinely appointed, yes, and in earlier times people believed that touching a king would cure some diseases.

        2. Mooseman Silver badge

          Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

          You can't run a country by a book of religion

          Not by a heap or a lump or a smidgen

          Of foolish rules of ancient date

          Designed to make you all feel great

          While you fold, spindle and mutilate

          Those unbelievers from a neighbouring state

          1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

            Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

            Moosman...

            amazing how blind you are. Religon is POLITICS, they are the same thing. RELIGIONS were only invented by POLITICAL masters to brainwash enough of th epopulace.

            Theres no difference to waht Fatty in NK does with his brainwashing and what Islam is today or the past, or even the judais of the bible. Its all the same thing, the big top dog, does their best to brrain wash the masses for their own gain.

            1. Mooseman Silver badge

              Re: Mathew 22:37-40...

              "amazing how blind you are"

              Ease up on the personal attacks please. I'm not "blind" for simply correcting your misunderstanding of how monarchs were regarded in medieval England. Nobody thought Charles I was a messiah.

              Yes of course organised religion is a means to control the populace - the whole christian idea that poverty in this life guarantees you riches in the next, while you watch your wealthy neighbour getting the best of everything is a classic example. Again, I didn't disagree with that.

              Take a little time to read what people say before ranting. Thankyou.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That reminds me

    Have a watch of the film "Idiocracy"

    Followup comment:

    Then try not to think of Republican America.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: That reminds me

      "Then try not to think of Republican America."

      Old-school Republicans I can live with. It's the MAGA[0] cult which is causing the bulk[1] of the problems.

      [0] Muppets Annoying Genuine Americans.

      [1] To be perfectly fair, the ultra-leftwing nuts are just as bad as the ultra-rightwing nuts. Forcing everybody to march in lockstep is never the answer.

      1. heyrick Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: That reminds me

        Upvoted for the acronym.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: That reminds me

        Downvoted for the BSAB garbage.

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: That reminds me

          Your mistake is assuming just two "sides". There are at least four here in the USA.

          1) Leftwingnuts, <10% of the population

          2) Rightwingnuts, <10% of the population

          3) The Don'tCareLeaveMeAlones, ~6% of the population[0]

          4) The rest of us, normal people, >75% of the population, most of whom are sick of the bullshit being spouted by the first two

          [0] Here defined as "people who pay no attention to the news whatsoever" (number from an NBC news poll last week).

          1. jmch Silver badge

            Re: That reminds me

            "1) Leftwingnuts, <10% of the population

            2) Rightwingnuts, <10% of the population"

            Left and Right aren't opposite ends of a straight line, they are opposite ends of a horseshoe. The more extreme their positions, the more alike they are!

  6. Howard Sway Silver badge

    our AI app, Father Justin

    This is a great idea, but why stop at a simple priest? How about an AI pope? Or even your own personal Jesus? Think of the sponsored ad tie-ins guys! "The Lord's forgiveness has been brought to you today by Pepsi and Amazon Web Services...". If you don't do it, somebody else will!

    1. Denarius Silver badge

      Re: our AI app, Father Justin

      haven't the health wealth mod already done this ? Give me money and all this will be given unto you. No work, no effort required. A lazy religion for the lazy stupid, but I repeat myself.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: our AI app, Father Justin

      Swell! Though I'd do away with the middle-AIs and prostrate straight to the dope: AI God (roboGod of the AIpostolate)

      Note: not to be confused with turgescence, middle-ages, prostate, opiacae of the people, robodog, robocop, heading to mass turbinate, a handy way to get ur kicks, or pustulate.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: our AI app, Father Justin

      >> You have sinned my child? Don't despair, that's what our $sponsor of the day$ Gift cards are For: For Giveness!

      >> What is your particular sin my child?

      << I undressed my gorgeous busty neighbour with my eyes.

      >> Oh, that's expensive! That's worth about 300 dollars of clothing and lingerie. Our $fashion web shop sponsor of the day$ gift cards are ideal for that!

      >> How many times have you sinned my child?

      << Five times.

      >> Then that'd be 5 times 300 dollars of $fashion web shop sponsor of the day$ gift cards totalling 1500 dollars plus sales tax penance. Visa or Mastercard?

    4. WUStLBear82

      Re: our AI app, Father Justin

      Clifford D. Simak wrote about humans and robots trying to create an infallible AI pope in his 1981 novel 'Project Pope'.

    5. A.P. Veening Silver badge

      Re: our AI app, Father Justin

      Think of the sponsored ad tie-ins guys! "The Lord's forgiveness has been brought to you today by Pepsi and Amazon Web Services...". If you don't do it, somebody else will!

      Somebody else already has, I recommend you read "Stranger In A Strange Land" by R.A. Heinlein.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: our AI app, Father Justin

      I have these 95 theses to nail to a door somewhere...

    7. jmch Silver badge

      Re: our AI app, Father Justin

      "your own personal Jesus"

      Nice earworm!!!

  7. jake Silver badge

    "I am as real as the faith we share."

    Truer words have never been spoken.

    1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

      Re: "I am as real as the faith we share."

      You might want to read a dictionary for the definition of "faith".

      It means to acceept something as true with ZERO evidence. Surely that qualifies as the very definition of stupdity.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "I am as real as the faith we share."

        ... as the very definition of religion. ANY religion.

        1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

          Re: "I am as real as the faith we share."

          All religons are simply politics taken to the next level. Theres no such thing as religion, its simply political brainwashing where the leaders invent stories and claim its gods will and if they are lucky millions of idiot believe and accept their god chosen leaders.

          Hang on thats the story of the bible and koran...

  8. Strong as Taishan Mountains

    The hilarious part is that they're doubling down.

    They claim only 10K but I find that a little suspicious. I've seen basic dev services advertised for this much, but I don't know if that would include training etc.

    Anyone around here with any experience with LLMs to speak to what this really cost?

    1. doublelayer Silver badge

      It could be that they paid someone to plug in prompts to a couple chatbots until they got one that didn't forget its role immediately. Lots of bots essentially take an existing bot, prime it with something like "Pretend you are a priest named Justin who believes in the Catholic Church's teachings and wants others to do so", then just make sure that they start all conversations with that. A bit more prompt engineering time can add necessary statements like "Don't say you hate types or classes of people because you are trying to be convincing". I wouldn't be surprised if that's what they spent the ten thousand on and that they probably could have managed it for less.

      1. Richard 12 Silver badge

        Don't forget the running costs

        Though maybe they used a free trial.

      2. Strong as Taishan Mountains

        Thanks! They allege to have "trained it" with a whole wealth of articles from their website, which if they're not being totally dishonest about it would constitute quite a bit of training? or no?

        The latest was that they "worked on it" for 6 months... So maybe they got something out of the box and then had staff slave away at training it just a little bit..

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    2000+ year old con moves up a notch

    Still a Pontif Scheme.

    Pay now, benefit later…

    1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

      Re: 2000+ year old con moves up a notch

      Dont you mean 3000 ?

      1. Richard 12 Silver badge
        Headmaster

        Re: 2000+ year old con moves up a notch

        While Christianity as a general concept can be argued to date back to around 20-30 CE, no specific organisation or form of faith does.

        For example, the role of Jesus wasn't defined in its generally accepted form until the first Council of Nicaea in 325 CE. The Bible itself is even younger. Prior to that various disparate groups existed.

        Historically, Catholicism is probably 970 years old in July - it formally split from Orthodoxy in 1054.

        1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

          Re: 2000+ year old con moves up a notch

          The gospels which are about jesus life and ministry never use the word Christian. The word christian doesnt even appear in the bible, the three time it does is as Chrestian, which means somethign else.... it can be argued the word doesnt exist in the bible

          At best it was first used over 50 years later so christianity is not 2000 years but 1950.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: 2000+ year old con moves up a notch

        2000+ also = 3000

        1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

          Re: 2000+ year old con moves up a notch

          I mentioned 3000, because Jesus is not new he is a continuation of the OT. THe problem is people forget his message and focus on the person.

          A very clear message from jesus is for everyone to obey their masters, pay their taxes...

          Just stip and think, why on earth would PAYING your TAXEs to ROME be that important to Jesus ?

          Answer its because Jesus like Moses, like all the other characters are about brainwashing the masses to obey their masters. In the OT this was by paying money to the temple (yes the temple was a money making business and nothing more). MOnotheism is simply another way to say, the priests want ALL the money they dont want to share the money given to other temples.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: 2000+ year old con moves up a notch

        Nah, there's evidence it's not that old. it might even be less than 2500.

        Turns out that the jewish part of the con was invented much more recently than previously claimed. And the christian part of the con is less than 2000 years old. The islamic part of the con was obviously invented much more recently.

    2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      Re: 2000+ year old con moves up a notch

      I see what you did there!

      Pray now, benefit later…

    3. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

      Re: 2000+ year old con moves up a notch

      Maybe an improvement on the Ancient Egyptian religion, which was, obviously, a pyramid scheme.

  10. david 12 Silver badge

    would actually read the rule book of their religion

    I can see that Iain Thomson doesn't come from a counter-reformation background.

    1. Paul Crawford Silver badge

      Re: would actually read the rule book of their religion

      Why read the book when you can enjoy Lego instead:

      https://thebrickbible.com/

      1. that one in the corner Silver badge

        Re: would actually read the rule book of their religion

        Joshua looks suspiciously like Obi Wan resorting to a woodsaber - on his way to Alder-an?

        Today's Lesson: practice what these guys preach and create an LLM prompt for that hokey old religion[1]. The best one wins the coveted title of "Jedi for the straight guy".

        May The Fourth Be With You.

        (click) psssshhhh thrmmmm thrmm bnngg bnngg krssshh

        [1] please, no midichlorians, we are a respectable Original Trilogy congregation.

  11. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

    Its amazing how all the worlds religions have always been written and given to use by rich aresholes. Its amazing how god always wants "them" in power and how its always about "them".

    From Mohammad, to the jewish kings its always the rich and power who authored and gave us these holy books.

    THeres never been a holy book where the chosen ones get messages from god to give away all their money to the poor.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The Donald's 'God Bless The USA' bible is guaranteed to make you $60 poorer

      1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
        Coat

        Or, $0 if you were to receive a Gideons bible (New Testament v2.0) - you'll have to fork out for your own copy of v1.0

        As many in the IT world know, many design flaws and other issues have been sorted out and you have a much improved product by the time v3.0 is released.

        The way things are working out over in the middle east and elsewhere in the world, doesn't look like we are anywhere near a RC for v3.0

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Yes, many brutal and violent dictatorships have been based on Romans 13. It can be explained as a divine justification for oppression.

      1. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

        "What have the Romans ever done for us?"

      2. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

        Exactly billions of people have really believed that kings are chosen by god.

        Go look at the British Royal Family motto. they claim they were given their divine power by gods will.

        1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          "Watery tarts distributing scimitars is no basis for a system of government. True executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!"

  12. Awk_ward

    The snake that eats its own tail.

    So we're currently being dogmatically told, by the tech world and its robo-dog, to have faith in AI and then we try to get it to preach about a fantastical fairy god and tell us to 'have faith'?

    Someone needs to crucify the lot of them.

  13. Groo The Wanderer Silver badge

    The AI is as "real" as the god it blabs about... I do not understand mankind's fascination with "supreme" beings. The Universe itself is supreme enough for me, and I can see it around me, and near as I can tell, the whims and wishes of the Universe when it comes to one's life are indistinguishable from a deity - aloof, detached, and totally unconcerned with the wants and wishes of the complaining bacteria under the microscope.

  14. Ball boy Silver badge
    Joke

    Bringing AI into religion?

    Douglas Adams was, again, well ahead of the pack.

    I feel we should ask this thing to prove God exists and see what happens... ;)

    1. b0llchit Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Bringing AI into religion?

      In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry...

      And the anger never stopped!

    2. PB90210 Bronze badge

      Re: Bringing AI into religion?

      Hmm... what's the equivalent of death by Zebra Crossing?

    3. Dr Paul Taylor

      Re: Bringing AI into religion?

      I was waiting for the mention of Douglas Adams, who invented the Galaxy-Wide-Web. And then the electric monk

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Bringing AI into religion?

        "Douglas Adams, who invented the Galaxy-Wide-Web."

        I believe it was J.C.R. Licklider who invented the Intergalactic Computer Network all the way back in the early 1960s.

        But that's the RealWorld. The concept had been a major theme of Science Fiction for many decades prior.

        "And then the electric monk"

        Again, machines getting (quasi-)religion had been a theme in SciFi long before Adams dabbled in it.

  15. b1k3rdude

    The second line in the title, very good, made me chucle...

  16. herman Silver badge
    Devil

    Koolaid

    He should have known that the Koolaid was actually Flavouraid, not Gatorade.

  17. Bebu Silver badge
    Windows

    Another exile to the parochial house on Craggy Island?

    Fr Justin should fit in just fine with Fr Dougal, Fr Jack and Fr Ted.

    At least Mrs Doyle won't have to clean up after Fr Justin.

    1. SnailFerrous

      Re: Another exile to the parochial house on Craggy Island?

      Plus the AI training process is a lot smaller, quicker and cheaper. The answer to any question is

      "That would be an ecumenical matter".

      1. parrot

        Careful now

        Down with this sort of thing

        1. Francis Boyle

          Surely you mean

          "Feck off"

          You know it's the right answer.

          1. parrot

            Re: Surely you mean

            “Now what would you say to a nice cup of Gatorade, Father?”

            “Feck off cup!”

            (Like that you mean?)

            1. Dizzy Dwarf Bronze badge

              Re: Surely you mean

              Nuns! Reverse!!

    2. Not Yb Bronze badge

      Re: Another exile to the parochial house on Craggy Island?

      This Bible is small, that Bible is far away.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Say what you want about an AI priest...

    ...at least he can't actually have sex with children.

    1. VicMortimer Silver badge

      Re: Say what you want about an AI priest...

      You are, unfortunately, wrong.

      https://hypebae.com/2023/6/sex-toy-technology-chatgpt-open-ai-lovense-pleasure-companion

  19. Bebu Silver badge
    Windows

    ChatGPT/LLM and Religion what could go wrong?

    I would have been tempted to ask the unfortunate Justin to give a self consistent explanation of the mystery of the trinity. :)

    Fr Justin would have a hard act to follow after the Francis, who from the linked article's images might be suspected of a foot fetish, basically calling a group of incarcerated (and by definition randy) teenagers a mob of wankers if they entertained masturbation.

    I actually have more time for this pontiff than most of his predecessors but having to deal with the accumulated institutional dross of two millennia which would make Gormanghast seen revolutionary by comparison, is always going to be impossible for a one man.

    As long as any religion maintains a prescriptive stance on moral and ethical matters (very few bother much about theology and their flocks even less) I can see even more ridiculous nonsense in the future.

    At the core of most if not all religions there are universal (to humans anyway) principles that a thinking person might profitably consider and adopt at least in part, to improve themselves and their world.

  20. chivo243 Silver badge
    Trollface

    This model

    Trained on too many sporting victories, American Football springs to mind…

  21. Grogan Silver badge

    Hell yeah, some Gatorade and some salsa for those communion wafers might just be what's needed to keep that tired old ideology alive /s

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      The Church of the Holy Taco Bell. All hail the vibrating ring.

  22. parrot

    Permissions

    I think the last paragraph of this article is a bit naive. Regardless of what you believe, or what distro you use, Christianity is more than just the kernel. Development is community driven, there are various user experiences to choose from, and users can make their own customisations too.

    Anyway, here's a fun theory, you know how on some systems allow permissions will override deny permissions? Or whitelisting an address means sensible stuff like SPF gets ignored? Well, the bible at one point says, "all things are permissible but not all things are beneficial"*; Gatorade baptism might not make sense but all Justin knows is it can't say no... At least we're not talking about one of the "full immersion" forks.

    * lack of context is deliberate here

  23. aerogems Silver badge
    WTF?

    So... out of curiosity.. why can't you use Gatorade* to baptize someone? It's mostly water, so couldn't a priest just bless the Gatorade?

    * It's what the plants crave

    1. parrot

      Most Christians would expect baptism to occur in water, because the bible says Jesus was baptised in water and they aim to follow his example. Arguably infant baptism already strays from Jesus’ example because at no point is the child fully submerged in the water but the tradition goes back centuries and is valued in many denominations of the church.

      There are plenty of subjects not specifically covered by the bible itself, Gatorade is definitely one of them! Christians have to discern what they think is in the spirit of their teachings generally. There may be nothing to say you shouldn’t use Gatorade so if you really wanted to then perhaps you could. But as baptism is a meaningful public declaration of faith, I think most Christians would discern the suggestion of using Gatorade as intentionally silly and not in keeping with the occasion. Justin did not possess this necessary discernment.

      1. aerogems Silver badge
        Trollface

        Most Christians would expect baptism to occur in water, because the bible says Jesus was baptised in water and they aim to follow his example.

        That would be the only thing a lot of Christians follow the example of from Christ's life.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Baptisms are sticky enough without added sugar.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    FATAL ERROR

    Evolution was going along quite swimmingly until a sentient being mentioned religion.

  25. Rudy

    Gatorade not so implausible

    If memory serves, Baptism is one of the two sacraments which can be performed by a member of the laity (the other is Extreme Unction or the Sacrament of the Sick) in an emergency. So, if there was no priest around to perform the baptism, and no water to hand, a layperson using a bottle of Gatorade would probably suffice.

    1. Dizzy Dwarf Bronze badge

      Re: Gatorade not so implausible

      When life gives you alligators, make gatorade.

      1. aerogems Silver badge
        Headmaster

        Re: Gatorade not so implausible

        It's not Friday, no bad puns allowed!

  26. xyz123 Silver badge

    It would only pass the turing test if it asks the questioner their age and if they said under 15, asked them if they'd ever seen a grown man naked.....

  27. Bob Dunlop

    Sounds like a Romaprot God Machine from Edmund Coopers Kronk (1970s I think).

    Mind you that used to dispense a Kewpie doll along with each confessional absolution, and sent a transcript to the government.

    Funny how some books stick in my mind.

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