Re: You're not alone, Mr. McMurtrie.
"The only people who champion them are management and marketing types, and modern pseudo-technical types who claim to be Linux proficient and yet wouldn't have any idea about how to create their own distro from scratch."
My job title is "Managing Director". I'm 53. I ran Gentoo on my work desktop for 15 years, then Arch for seven. I have done Linux From Scratch, including running make config (not menuconfig, xconfig or any other wet handshake nonsense)
I fucking hate snap, me. Mind you I do quite like systemd, so there you go.
However unlike my native spoken and written language I dislike subject verb object for service incantations, eg: systemctl fuck service. Subject object verb is the way the good $DEITY intended because you really want to service service down hit arrow up service service up. Apparently the reason for SVO is that you can control multiple services, which you could still do by parsing the last word instead of the second one as the verb/action.
The ultimate irony here is that German (Mr Poettering's native language) is famously SOV ie you cobble together a load of nouns, adverbs, adjectives and conjunctions and then spit out all the verbs right at the end. English strips away all that gender stuff for nouns (except when it doesn't) and subjects verb their objects (as you do). English insists on a massive rule book and then proceeds to break nearly all of them except for the one that says ... anything goes if it can be understood by more than one person, but that is optional ... oh and you will never fathom when to use ei or ie within a word, I hate you ... la la la thhhhrrrrip! Oh and that's one formal English. There are loads of the buggers.