Infosys announces 'In-Person Collab' weeks

In an effort to get its employees back into the office, Infosys has reportedly instituted mandatory in-person attendance for select roles – but dubbed the program "In-Person Collab" weeks. Because that's how the young people talk, right? News of the requirement reportedly reached employees in the form of an internal email from …

[Fred Daggy]

How do I do "in-person Collab" in an office is one colleague is in Belgium, two in South Africa and another in the US? Myself in another country? A TARDIS to bring them together? Also, the chatty members of the open-plan monstrosity can be heard from at least 3 postcodes away, interrupting meetings and any chance of rational thought. If they are actually talking about work topics (almost never), they are in a different department altogether. So, yeah, "In-Person Collab" might work for the C-Suite with the private lounge, pure brass dunny and air-co personal offices.

However, it has nothing to bring to the people trying to actually do things.

[Dan 55]

Putting aside those people who work in geographically split teams so it makes no difference to them where they work so they might as well work where they work best, it's also odd that all these back-to-office initiatives never include some element of co-ordinating with other members of the office. It's just "turn up x days a week or we fire you" and then... Brownian motion will improve productivity?

[GoneFission]

The pretense is always productivity and collaboration, and it's not even good at pretending or being logically sound. Corporate real estate investments, micromanagement and captive-audience proxy utilization of business services near office complexes like restaurants and gas stations however make perfect sense, as all of those seek to extract either agency from the employee or money from their wallet. And in the end, that's what really matters.

[Potemkine!]

No, we won't offer you free vaseline, but we've got a shiny new name for our 'up to the elbow' program.

[Anonymous Coward]

Infosys employees quit in droves

Following this announcement, more than 95% of worldwide employees of Infosys put in their papers and asked for immediate release.

Joke over. Time to pay the bills and the mortgage.

[Anonymous Coward]

Another monkey-see monkey-do corporate decision

When, oh when, will these MBAs realize that there are people who actually perform better without constant "collaboration"?

As Shakespeare would have said if he were here now... "First, shoot all of the consultants!"