Microsoft Copilot for Security prepares for April liftoff

Microsoft Copilot for Security, a subscription AI security service, will be generally available on April 1, 2024, the company announced on Wednesday. Its arrival on April Fool's Day is purely coincidental. As a measure of the company's commitment to software-as-revenue-generating-service, Microsoft on Tuesday invited a …

[Mike 137]

Copilot for Security, Jakkal said, is "designed to help customers and users defend at machine speed

Rong with a capital R [it's recursive ;-) ]

If at all, that should not be "defend ..." but "respond at machine speed". Real defence starts way before any attack unless you're operating purely reactively. And if you are, you'll lose however fast you try to respond, 'coz you'll be wide open fragile. In infosec there are no substitutes for forethought and preparation.

[Philip Storry]

WTF?

Copilot for Security?

What the...?

Honestly, the sheer front here is remarkable. Whatever will they come up with next?

Gary Glitter for Kids Parties?

Kwasi Kwarteng for Budgeting?

Paul Gascoigne for Temperance?

Boris Johnson for Honesty?

This has gone beyond faintly ridiculous, and into the realms of the absurd.

[hedgie]

Re: WTF?

I wonder how The Onion stays in business these days, since reality seems to have descended far past the reach of satire and into the depths of farce.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: WTF?

> I wonder how The Onion stays in business these days ..

Also check out The Babylon Bee and Not the Bee

[jospanner]

Re: WTF?

bee, The Onion’s unfunny racist uncle?

[Mike 137]

Or possibly "my career"?

"I do believe this is going to be the most consequential technology of my lifetime" says Vasu Jakkal (quite by chance of course, corporate vice president of security, compliance, identity, and management at Microsoft)

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Or possibly "my career"?

Consequential, yes. Not necessarily in a good way.

[Omnipresent]

chit chow

This will be a complete, and total disaster. M$ have lost their ever loving minds.

Also, it's time we stop using the "PC" part of computing. It's now M$ computers.

[Anonymous Custard]

Re: chit chow

All your bases PCs are belong to us

[Woodnag]

Just say no....

[HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\WindowsCopilot]

"TurnOffWindowsCopilot"=dword:00000001

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\WindowsCopilot]

"TurnOffWindowsCopilot"=dword:00000001

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Just say no....

int main() {

const char* processName = "Copilot";

while (true) {

HWND hWnd = FindWindow(NULL, "Root Window");

HANDLE hProcess = FindWindowA(NULL, processName);

if (hWnd != NULL && hProcess == NULL) {

SendMessage(hWnd, WM_CUSTOM_MESSAGE, 0, (LPARAM)"Invoke Blue Screen of Death");

}

}

[Anonymous Custard]

Papering over the cracks

So in short they're trying to use artificial intelligence to overcome the real stupidity of how their products are designed (?) in relation to security...

[EricM]

s/overcome/add to/g

Mathematically speaking, I think you got the sign wrong :D

[Ken Hagan]

Re: Papering over the cracks

Yeah, but they'll be papering over those cracks at machine speed now.

[Grinning Bandicoot]

Re: Papering over the cracks

Why not? It worked for a long while with another big Washington state corporation. Maybe we will soon watch them crying into overpriced coffee at Starbucks.

[EricM]

This title just gave me an acute case of cognitive dissonace

The only thing even weirder than trying to build security on complex and notoriously hard to manage Microsoft tools like Windows, AD, Outlook, Azure and Exchange would be to cut loose AI to "help" manage that mess.

Generally: You don't fix complexity by throwing more complexity at it. AI or not.

Trying to fix security with inconsistently and in some cases unpredictably performing AI is not even trying to sell the usual Snake Oil - that's more like suggesting to fill your fire extinguisher with gasoline...

Finally, Microsoft being unable to keep and then drive Intruders completely out of their own systems does not seem to be an especially good marketing pitch for this service.

https://www.theregister.com/2024/03/08/microsoft_confirms_russian_spies_stole/

[Anonymous Coward]

Damned by faint praise .....

"I do believe this is going to be the most consequential technology of my lifetime"

Translation:

This technology [LLM's masquerading as 'AI'] will have consequences ... possibly more than anyone expects.

Note: Consequences are not all good .... so this quote is not the most optimistic of projections BUT is more honest than most pitches for AI of late.

:)

[navarac]

Because, Microsoft

Microsoft are inept at Security at the best of times, so they have to use the "dream" that is AI to help the poor saps of interns working there. Really?

[Howard Sway]

Copilot for Security finished tasks 22 percent faster on average

Yeah, that doesn't mean that it did them correctly though, does it?

[Anonymous Coward]

MS charging $4/hour to detect defects in own software stack :o

“The speed, the scale, the sophistication of attacks has increased pretty dramatically over the last year .. On average, it takes 72 minutes or less for an attacker to get access to the user's data and inbox once a user clicks on a phishing link”

Let me see if I understand, MS is going to charge us $4/hour to detect defects in its own software stack.

[Andrew Hodgkinson]

Multiple portals

Correia said he had compared the investigation process both with and without Copilot. "I found that with each step, it was roughly between 20 and 50 percent faster for Copilot to do it, given that you do need to go into multiple portals and log in there and wait for everything to load," he said.

Ah, so instead of logging into "multiple portals", CoPilot has been given access to those portals and is logging in for you.

I'm sure CoPilot can be trusted with your administrative portal access credentials. Because, Security.

[ChoHag]

Re: Multiple portals

Security is a magic word. Like wearing a high-vis jacket, you can do literally anything if it's "for security reasons".

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Multiple portals

And that it won't hallucinate "good" results!

[cookieMonster]

Its arrival on April Fool's Day is purely coincidental.

No. It’s. Not

[RedGreen925]

"Its arrival on April Fool's Day is purely coincidental."

Not at all, it is meant for the fools who are stupid enough to believe Microsoft knows anything at all about security. And what a joke that is Microsoft and security in the same sentence. Decades of evidence prove they have not a single clue on how to do it properly, I suspect this will be another fine example of their competence in the field...

[Anonymous Coward]

Ironic

Considering their recent fuck up with Exchange Online. But again, management with see "AI" and "Security" and wet their pants for it cause they are gullible fucks.