Balance
*husband comes home all sad*
wife> Honey, what's up?
husband> I got rebalanced.
wife> What does it mean? Did they take your mechanical keyboard away?
husband> No, it turns out I've become a surplus to the requirement.
wife> Can you explain?
husband> Well, the good thing is that I don't have to go to work anymore, but I also don't get paid so there is that.
*pause*
wife> Umm... are you saying they sacked you?
husband> No, I am saying that I got rebalanced.
*wife gives confused look*
husband> ...precisely, they've simply shifted the equilibrium of the workplace, and it appears I've tipped over to the side of the non-essential.
wife> Shifted the equilibrium? That sounds like a fancy way of saying you've been made redundant.
husband> Not redundant, luv. Just...rebalanced. This is how workplace is being optimised these days.
wife> Optimised? Is that the new corporate speak for 'given the boot'?
husband> Not at all. I've been elevated to the realm of strategic availability. It's a proactive measure for personal growth and exploration.
wife> Sounds to me like you're strategically available to sit on the couch now.