Windows 10 failing to patch properly? You are most definitely not alone

Microsoft's legendary approach to Windows quality control is on show again with yet another update that is struggling to complete installation, this time on Windows 10 machines. The Register saw the update, KB5001716, appear on a Windows 10 test rig overnight and it triggered a sense of déjà vu. We checked the update history …

[Excused Boots]

There has been a degree of speculation that Microsoft are simply not interested in Windows desktops anymore. Their money comes from services; Azure, 365 etc. plus, of course, virtual windows-based desktops, for which they can charge a recurring fee rather than a one-off Windows licence.

And it’s not as if this, somewhat cavalier, attitude to updates quality is a new thing, how long ago was it since a Windows update decided to flush users’ data down the toilet?

Now, if, if, Microsoft are pivoting away from being focussed on making money through the Windows OS and stand alone Office installations, then the first thing you start to do is reduce the resources allocated to supporting them and checking that updates don’t do anything stupid, yes?

[The Central Scrutinizer]

You're trying to apply logic and reason. It's Microsoft.

[Anonymous Coward]

"There has been a degree of speculation that Microsoft are simply not interested in Windows desktops anymore. Their money comes from services; Azure, 365 etc. plus, of course, virtual windows-based desktops, for which they can charge a recurring fee rather than a one-off Windows licence."

You may be right, but then Microsoft's online services exhibit the same amount of broken-ness (remember that Entra formerly known as Azure is the cloud service with the highest unplanned outage rate amongst all big cloud providers), which comes on top of some of the most idiotic security lapses there are, so the only thing we can say with a straight face is that Microsoft is showing consistent behavior across all of its product ranges.

But looking at how businesses fall over themselves to pay Microsoft a pretty penny for its crapware it could be argued that they are actually doing the right thing.

[John Brown (no body)]

And yet, accessing those MS online service still requires that you have an OS installed on a local device so as to be able to connect and interact with them. And there are still notable differences in functionality, look and feel when access those online service from Firefox/Chromium etc on FreeBSD or Linux compared with Edge/Windows.

[Anonymous Coward]

Edge for Linux

edge for Linux is recommended by microsoft at this time

[Yorick Hunt]

"Don't attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."

Although with Mickey$oft, it feels like that statement should be reversed.

[Doctor Syntax]

And don't overlook malice applied stupidly.

[John Brown (no body)]

...and stupidly applied malice.

Got keep all the bases covered :-)

[David 132]

Wait, isn't that just a logically equivalent re-statement of what Doctor Syntax said?

Did you mean "maliciously applied stupidity"?

[captain veg]

non-optional updates

A couple of months ago my W10 VM insisted on updating itself. After reboot my user profile had mysteriously rewound to a state approximately 2 years ago.

I uninstalled the most recent "updates" and, thank bob, all my recent documents etc miraculously reappeared.

Some weeks later the system informed me that it wanted once again to apply the same updates. This time I wanted to snapshot the VM first. So I ignored the options to apply updates before shutting down or restarting and opted to simply shut down without applying anything at all.

It just ignored me and applied the updates anyway.

Tossers.

-A.

[simonlb]

Re: non-optional updates

It's just like Win7 and GWX all over again. I'm glad I ditched MS after Win7.

[Dave K]

Re: non-optional updates

One of the first things I do with Windows 10 is to install WuMgr (Windows Update Manager). It basically gives you control over the update process (like you had in W7), allows you to install updates when you want and gives you the ability to skip problematic updates.

In short it allows me to delay installation and check an update isn't causing problems out in the field before I risk installing it on my machine.

[Ayemooth]

Re: non-optional updates

Quoting from the GitHub repo:

"Windows update managemetn tool for windows 10"

That typo doesn't fill me with confidence. Are we sure it's not an official MICROS~1 product?

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: non-optional updates

I think the QA proves that is an MS product :-)

[Zack Mollusc]

Re: non-optional updates

Accidental downvote due to fumblefingers. Sorry.

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: non-optional updates

You can change your vote at any time by clicking the up or down arrows. You can't, however, withdraw your vote.

I sometimes wish this was possible in all voting procedures :-)

[MOH]

Microsoft is a cancer. Except intentionally

[Winkypop]

Ahhhh Windows Update

Like an Apollo capsule reentering Earth’s atmosphere.

- Reentry starts…

- Blackout, radio silence, waiting…

- Still waiting…

- Starting to worry a bit…

- Should it take this long?…

- Hmmm…

And then: (write your own adventure here)

[David 132]

Re: Ahhhh Windows Update

Major Tom, meet General Protection Fault and Colonel Panic?

[ComputerSays_noAbsolutelyNo]

Re: Ahhhh Windows Update

... meanwhile Private Data Loss is hiding behind a Blue Screen of Death

-> Mine's the one with the Microsoft Windows Owners Manual. It's mostly blank pages.

[DJV]

Re: It's mostly blank pages

And comes in approximately 100 sheets per roll.

[Stu J]

Re: Ahhhh Windows Update

Honestly, what the merry fuck is it actually doing under the hood that takes so long?

[John Brown (no body)]

Re: Ahhhh Windows Update

"KB5001716"

Looking through an MSAccess database of a LOT of KBs, one search per KB, to make sure they are all applied before applying the latest?

See icon. May or may not be dripping with irony.

[Kev99]

Mictosoft hasn't know what quality control is since w3.0. Every update that comes along seems to be mostly to fix errors that the original code or updates have caused. And in win11 so secure why does mictosoft keep spitting out security updates/patches?

[ldo]

This Is Why They Say ...

... Windows is a great OS — if your time is worth nothing.

[Little Mouse]

KB5001716? Again!?!?!

That little fucker cause me no end of pain a year or so ago.

They keep releasing newer versions with the same KB name. My machine wouldn't update at all because that patch refused to apply, because it thought it was already installed.

I forget the exact fix process, but basically you need to fool your PC onto thinking it both is and isn't installed, depending on what stage of the patch process you're at, by manually inserting/deleting the unpacked contents of the manual install files (old and new versions), as appropriate.

[Roger Greenwood]

Re: KB5001716? Again!?!?!

Wow, what a pain!

Makes me think of the phrase told to me many years ago "Life's too short to stuff a mushroom". Some things are just not worth it.

[Ken Moorhouse]

Re: They keep releasing newer versions with the same KB name

Are they worried they might exceed the largest integer that the KnowledgeBase can handle?

Who here remembers the problem with PST's going oversize?

I think I've just answered my own question.

[Bebu]

Re: KB5001716? Again!?!?!

《basically you need to fool your PC onto thinking it both is and isn't installed》

Very quantum superposition of installation states.

MS is/was into quantum computing before going all in on AI.

Although in their case you just know the cat is dead without needing to look. :)

[cosmodrome]

New version, same shit show

They want you to use W11, not W10 so they can better stuff you with advertising and monetize your data while having to support just one version, so WIndows 10 will start to crackle. I remember that behaviour from last time. A million tiny bugs like external monitors no longer recognized, updates failing and various network problems will accumulate until you give in and update.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: New version, same shit show

until you give in and update...

or switch.

[Nick Ryan]

Re: New version, same shit show

The exact same thing is happening to the desktop version of Microsoft Outlook. All in favour of the shit-show feature-incomplete unstable and barely usable mess that is "new" Microsoft Outlook.

[Zibob]

Just forgetting the past now?

"However, the issue speaks of a greater malaise within Microsoft and the Windows team."

This has been a constant problem since XP.

This isn't odd, this is "the way its done".

A change in behaviour would be notable, but this isn't that. Its been this way for over a decade. This is just standard operating procedure, no one has done anything about it in that time, so why would Microsoft feel pressured to do anything about it.

[navarac]

Pop Up

"a pop up notification or two warning them of problems stopping the operating system from keeping itself up to date."

What it really means is, ""Are you really sure you don't want Windows 11?""

[Stuart Castle]

FFS. Another Windows Update that is failing? I'm thinking Microsoft need to look at their testing process.

[Michael Wojcik]

And it's not just the individual updates. Windows Update itself is a huge piece of crap, as is the overall update process. The nagging and eventual forced installation. The world's slowest, most opaque installation technology. The utter lack of usability or useful diagnostics — has anyone ever seen an error from Windows Update that wasn't just the hex exception code? Most of those are regular Windows error codes — call your own goddamned FormatMessage function, Microsoft! The multiple reboots. The way Microsoft has made it progressively harder to figure out what's in a given patch.

I had grudgingly gained some appreciation for Microsoft in the Vista timeframe, when they made a serious effort to improve security and fix some of Windows NT's worst failings. They squandered that long ago, and Windows Update is a good example why.

[DJV]

Re: I'm thinking Microsoft need to look at their testing process

I'm thinking Microsoft need to look FOR their testing process - it's got AWOL!

[Nick Ryan]

Re: I'm thinking Microsoft need to look at their testing process

A few years ago Microsoft let the majority of their QA teams go. The impending plummet in release quality was the predicted outcome and it's getting worse - it's directly being felt in their in-house mess of Microsoft 365 infrastructure and not just the external victims.

[43300]

The still haven't fixed the update from the January Patch Tuesday batch which won't install on large numbers of W10 / Server 2022 machines / VMs.

Patch Tuesday again next week. Will they get round to sorting it this time?

[Rich 2]

Lucky escape if you ask me

Error code 0x80070643 eh?

Blimey. Good job it wasn’t 0x80070644 - that’s a right one, that is

[Paul Herber]

Re: Lucky escape if you ask me

<Milligan> They don't make numbers like that any more.