"but cannot estimate the duration or extent of the disruption at this time"
After reading this it turns out I am not actually having a bad day after all. It seemed sub-standard at first, and then I saw that the pharmacy infrastructure for much of the country is in ruins and it's not on my desk. So thanks for that, unfortunate Unitedhealthcare engineers, I appreciate the perspective. Well, time to turn off the machine and go upstairs to make dinner. Good luck, guys!
(Seriously, would anyone in IT object to any sort of penalty limit in these cases? Super infuriating to even read about, much less deal with in person. A genuine good luck gang to all working on this.)