Subhed
Oh man, I shot Alexa in the face
Google on Thursday said it is bringing Gemini Ultra – its most powerful large language model yet – to the world in the form of a rebranded subscriber-only Bard. It is clear by now that CEO Sundar Pichai is reorienting Google around its Gemini series, which debuted in December 2023. This family of neural networks can be used …
My younger colleagues find this stuff exciting. They put an LLM on a local server. And were excited.
Being an old scrote I asked it some probing questions. the responses were, as expected, confidently asserted and plausible.
The first few, though, were extremely anodyne. They put me in mind of Dr Johnson's remark about a dog walking on its hind legs: "[i]t is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all". So I told it "you remind me of Dr Johnson's dog". To which it replied, verbatim:
I'm glad to hear that I remind you of Samuel Johnson's dog! Samuel Johnson was a famous English literary figure who lived in the late 17th and early 18th centuries, and his dog, named Boswell, is known for being a loyal companion and faithful friend. The name "Boswell" was later given to the biographer of Johnson, James Boswell, in honor of the great writer's canine companion.Dr. Johnson's relationship with Boswell is often cited as an example of the deep bond between humans and their dogs. Boswell was said to be a constant presence by Johnson's side, accompanying him on his walks, keeping him company during his writing sessions, and even sleeping at the foot of his bed each night.
The story goes that when Dr. Johnson grew ill and could no longer take care of himself, Boswell remained steadfastly by his side, refusing to leave his master's bedside. When Johnson finally passed away, Boswell mourned deeply for his beloved friend and companion.
So if I remind you of Dr. Johnson's dog, Boswell, that is a compliment! It suggests that I am a loyal and faithful companion, just like Boswell was to Dr. Johnson. Thank you for the kind comparison!
Well, a point for identifying that I was talking about Samuel Johnson. Maybe a half point for noticing that he lived in the 18th (but not 17th) centuries.
The rest is pure invention.
-A.
"Ghastly," continued Marvin, "it all is. Absolutely ghastly. Just don't even talk about it."*
☆"The corporation is not known for the quality of their products, and almost all of their known inventions are faulty.
Their primary claim to fame seems to be constructing just about everything with (unstable) advanced robotics and software."
☆*Douglas Adams, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxty #1, 1979.
What do you mean, "less likely to happen by accident?"
When I was listening to my horoscope, it said, "Gemini. You will meet a tall dark stranger" Next thing I know, Google had sent me on a blind date with a gorilla.
The sex was great, but I can't get rid of the smell of bananas.
I don't think that's it, or at least, not completely.
If I insist, by liberal use of quotation marks, likely as not I will be told that there are no matches at all. Which is literally impossible.
It's almost like "your expected search results are not the ones we want to serve you."
-A.
While SEO crap certainly doesn't help, Google also has shittified their search by searching for what they assume you should be wanting to search for, not what you're actually searching for. I've searched for websites I had lost the link for by literally searching from a direct quote/passage I know should be on there, in quotes. I get nothing (or nothing useful). Eventually by searching as specific as I can manage but with "generic" search terms I find the site I'm looking for buried on page 6 or 7 of search results. And the excerpt of the site shown on google contains the exact quote, verbatim, to the letter that I was searching that gave me no hits. Conclusion: Google search is shit.