back to article Google silences Bard, restrings it as Gemini with optional $20-a-month upgrade

Google on Thursday said it is bringing Gemini Ultra – its most powerful large language model yet – to the world in the form of a rebranded subscriber-only Bard. It is clear by now that CEO Sundar Pichai is reorienting Google around its Gemini series, which debuted in December 2023. This family of neural networks can be used …

  1. Ace2 Silver badge

    Subhed

    Oh man, I shot Alexa in the face

  2. Mike007 Silver badge

    "Hey Google, when will LLMs be good enough to do my job for me, without my boss knowing?"

    1. captain veg Silver badge

      LLMs

      My younger colleagues find this stuff exciting. They put an LLM on a local server. And were excited.

      Being an old scrote I asked it some probing questions. the responses were, as expected, confidently asserted and plausible.

      The first few, though, were extremely anodyne. They put me in mind of Dr Johnson's remark about a dog walking on its hind legs: "[i]t is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all". So I told it "you remind me of Dr Johnson's dog". To which it replied, verbatim:

      I'm glad to hear that I remind you of Samuel Johnson's dog! Samuel Johnson was a famous English literary figure who lived in the late 17th and early 18th centuries, and his dog, named Boswell, is known for being a loyal companion and faithful friend. The name "Boswell" was later given to the biographer of Johnson, James Boswell, in honor of the great writer's canine companion.

      Dr. Johnson's relationship with Boswell is often cited as an example of the deep bond between humans and their dogs. Boswell was said to be a constant presence by Johnson's side, accompanying him on his walks, keeping him company during his writing sessions, and even sleeping at the foot of his bed each night.

      The story goes that when Dr. Johnson grew ill and could no longer take care of himself, Boswell remained steadfastly by his side, refusing to leave his master's bedside. When Johnson finally passed away, Boswell mourned deeply for his beloved friend and companion.

      So if I remind you of Dr. Johnson's dog, Boswell, that is a compliment! It suggests that I am a loyal and faithful companion, just like Boswell was to Dr. Johnson. Thank you for the kind comparison!

      Well, a point for identifying that I was talking about Samuel Johnson. Maybe a half point for noticing that he lived in the 18th (but not 17th) centuries.

      The rest is pure invention.

      -A.

  3. Lee D Silver badge

    Remember... Genisys is Skynet...

    I mean Gemini...

  4. Bebu
    Facepalm

    Embryonic Sirius Cybernetics Corporation☆...

    "Ghastly," continued Marvin, "it all is. Absolutely ghastly. Just don't even talk about it."*

    ☆"The corporation is not known for the quality of their products, and almost all of their known inventions are faulty.

    Their primary claim to fame seems to be constructing just about everything with (unstable) advanced robotics and software."

    ☆*Douglas Adams, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxty #1, 1979.

  5. Charlie Clark Silver badge

    Three syllables better for voice recognition

    I suspect this is just a prelude to the "Gemini" assistant with three syllables chosen as a good basis for invoking it: complex enough to be reliable and less likely to happen by accident. Right, Alexa?

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Three syllables better for voice recognition

      What do you mean, "less likely to happen by accident?"

      When I was listening to my horoscope, it said, "Gemini. You will meet a tall dark stranger" Next thing I know, Google had sent me on a blind date with a gorilla.

      The sex was great, but I can't get rid of the smell of bananas.

      1. Charlie Clark Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Three syllables better for voice recognition

        Have one of these. After all, it is Friday.

        Still, I think Gemini is probably quite a good brand name for a digital assistant.

  6. imanidiot Silver badge

    No thank you.

    Not for me.

  7. Arthur the cat Silver badge

    Image generation

    Many tech news outlets a few days ago: Bard can now generate images!

    Small print in Google announcement: Except in the EEA, Switzerland and UK.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    AI from The Borg? No thanks. Chat GPT for me.

    1. captain veg Silver badge

      Which Borg? Choose wisely.

      -A.

  9. captain veg Silver badge

    A question

    Search is totally rubbish now. It doesn't seem to matter who you ask* the results almost (or altogether) completely ignore what you actually searched for.

    Why is that? I really don't get it.

    -A.

    *If you know otherwise, do tell.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A question

      Search results are mostly shit thanks to ecommerce and ad farms (and malware sites, and everyone else) SEO-ing the crap out of search engines so you're shown stuff you never wanted to see.

      1. captain veg Silver badge

        Re: A question

        I don't think that's it, or at least, not completely.

        If I insist, by liberal use of quotation marks, likely as not I will be told that there are no matches at all. Which is literally impossible.

        It's almost like "your expected search results are not the ones we want to serve you."

        -A.

      2. imanidiot Silver badge

        Re: A question

        While SEO crap certainly doesn't help, Google also has shittified their search by searching for what they assume you should be wanting to search for, not what you're actually searching for. I've searched for websites I had lost the link for by literally searching from a direct quote/passage I know should be on there, in quotes. I get nothing (or nothing useful). Eventually by searching as specific as I can manage but with "generic" search terms I find the site I'm looking for buried on page 6 or 7 of search results. And the excerpt of the site shown on google contains the exact quote, verbatim, to the letter that I was searching that gave me no hits. Conclusion: Google search is shit.

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