CERN is training robot dogs to spot radiation hazards at Large Hadron Collider

A four-legged robot dog has successfully performed a radiation protection test at CERN by patrolling and inspecting equipment in a small section of the Large Hadron Collider (LHC). The LHC is built into a 27-kilometre circular structure beneath Switzerland and France that houses all the stuff needed to produce and smash …

[twellys]

What's that robo-Lassie? Robo-Timmy fell in the well again?

[EvilDrSmith]

SPOILER ALERT.

That's not Robo-lassie, that's a prototype of the aliens' robo-dogs from War of the Worlds.

[I ain't Spartacus]

What's that Robo-Lasssie? "Aliens from another dimension have broken through the walls of reality and are roaming the CERN complex eating the brains of anyone they can find?"

[Dr. G. Freeman]

Or as it's otherwise known, Friday

[collinsl]

Was thinking this could be part of a video game where the robots get programmed to attack humans using some sort of lasers or drillbits or something, reprogrammed by said evil aliens.

[Killing Time]

Robodog

The early version was a robocat until they realised it would completely ignore instructions, stare insolently at you until disappearing on a hunt at the mention of superstring!

[Evil Auditor]

Re: Robodog

They did manage to find robocat though: curled up snoozing in a tin box. Still, pretty useless.

[Anonymous Coward]

Re: Robodog

Although they didn't know for sure until they opened the box ...

[IGotOut]

Re: Robodog

They did try several. They all went missing, but turned up at Mrs Miggins' house, as she gave them more food.

[Dinanziame]

Might be useful in low radioactivity environment as well

From what I've heard, they have interns whose task is to go do something very quick in the tunnel and run the whole way, because sooner or later they meet the total exposition-per-year threshold for being next to the slightly radioactive machines; and then they are sent back to their home country.

[Yet Another Anonymous coward]

Re: Might be useful in low radioactivity environment as well

exposition-per-year is a major problem for theatre students. We have to limit the amount of Shakespearean roles they do

[tfewster]

Re: Might be useful in low radioactivity environment as well

I think I've seen that movie. The robo-dog becomes radioactive as well. And develops superpowers to take revenge on its cruel masters.

[JDX]

$2700

I initially thought this must be an error of a missing zero... though the $1000 P&P is rather high.

Still, that's peanuts for this sort of use case. Robot butlers are closer than I realised!

[Paul Crawford]

Re: $2700

Robot butlers are closer than I realised!

As long as you don't mind them peeing on your leg...

[I ain't Spartacus]

Re: $2700

The keyword in order to give verbal instructions to your robo-butler will not be "Alexa!" or "Hey Siri!" though. It'll be "Whosagoodboy?!"

[Evil Scot]

Re: $2700

Don't we all have Japanese robot butler serving us tea?

[Kubla Cant]

Re: $2700

The picture caption says "expensive hound". Have you any idea what a real dog costs? Tomorrow I'm taking my other half to collect a puppy. At £1800 it's towards the cheaper end of the spectrum, and that's before you start feeding it.

[I ain't Spartacus]

I have questions

From the article:

detection of water or fire leaks.

I'm perfectly fine with the water leaks bit. But do they have a particularly special fire main at CERN?

That would make for an interesting training day. "Now normally in case of fire we have these hoses, attached to the fire main to let you put it out. But on no account must you do that here! You see, we pipe fire round our building in order to be able to immediately cover any outbreaks of aliens from other dimensions in flame. We also have a water main, in case they come from a dimension of fire."

"We have a little poem to help you remember:"

Fry the fish people with the fire main

Drown the phoenixes with the water main

But if it's Godzilla, prepare to feel the pain.

[Evil Auditor]

Re: I have questions

Water and fire to fight the aliens. They took that from the documentaries Alien 3 and Aliens respectively.

[Charlie Clark]

We're all going to die!

Checking for radiation, a likely story. We all know it's programmed to check for holes in spacetime caused by CERN's reckless experiments where the beings from other dimensions that intent upon our destruction will be coming through.

[Korev]

Re: We're all going to die!

Does anyone have Gordon Freeman's number?

[Charlie Clark]

Re: We're all going to die!

I'm sorry, Korev, I can't tell you that.

[Dr. G. Freeman]

Re: We're all going to die!

Yes.

[spold]

Senses problems and reports back...

I see the bad muon a-risin'

I see trouble on the way

I see quarks and lightnin'

I see bad times today

(with tribute to Creedence Clearwater Revival)

[IGotOut]

Fully tested?

"iIt did great Bob, all tests were successfully conducted and everything is hunky dory"

"Dave, what's that green glow behind you, and why is all your skin peeling off!"

"Ahhh damn. OK we'll fix that in the next update. However, the subscription has run out, so we'll need to pay for an upgrade licence and sign up for another 5 years maintenance contract, backdated to when the last one ran out".

[spold]

LHC

= Large Hound Collider

[Arthur the cat]

Fetch!

It would be so much easier if you could just train these to fetch the Higgs boson, or whatever they wanted that day.

Good boy! Drop! Drop!! Oh for heaven's sake, it's just buried the top quark in the flower bed!

[Anonymous Coward]

It’s all fun and games

Until someone has to clean up the little piles of nuts and bolts plus the oil stains up the walls.