Re: Are these pervy doorbells mandatory?
Leila walks into the room and sees Fry seated in front of the video phone. The display shows a series of sideways-scrolling advertisements and is playing a Muzak'd version of Paul Simon's Greatest Hits. "Hey, Fry, what are you doing?"
Fry: "I'm on hold with Blamazon. I'm trying to order one of their video-camera doorbell answering things. The call it, The Ding. I'll put the camera over our front door, and the control unit in the bathroom."
Leila: "In the bathroom?!"
Fry: "Yeah, it's the one spot here I can't easilly answer the door from. My pants are around my ankles and that makes me take really-small steps."
Leila: "Do you realize those devices record video and sound from both sides of the conversation? And then sends it all to Blamazon's computers?"
Fry: "So?"
Leila: "Do you remember what happened when you forgot to put on pants before you answered the door?"
Fry: "Not really. I sort-of remember seeing Mrs. Ridgewick's purse up close, and that it was very heavy."
Leila: "Those Dings are an invasion of everyones' privacy."
Fry: "I don't care. It makes me feel safer at night knowing that if the Boshamsky brothers show up at our front door, I'll know about it."
Leila: "I know a way to make you feel safer at night, and you won't have to spend any money."
Fry: "Really? Okay, what do I have to do?"
Leila: "Just close your eyes and stand still." Leila rummanges around in a toolbox, then pulls out a roofing hammer and holds it up.
Dr. Zoidberg enters the room. "Hold it, Leila. I think I know what you're about to do, and it would be wrong. If you knock Fry unconscious with that hammer, he might dream, and in that dream, he might feel unsafe. Your method is not guaranteed to relieve Fry of his anxieties."
Leila: "I can fix that." Leila puts the hammer back in the tool box, rummages some more, then pulls out a sledgehammer, and holds it up.