back to article While we fire the boss, can you lock him out of the network?

Welcome once more, dear reader, to On Call, The Register's weekly reader-contributed column detailing the delights and dangers of working in tech support. This week, meet a reader we'll Regomize as "Alvin" who regaled us with the tale of the time one of his clients told him their chief network engineer was suspected of having …

  1. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

    Never, ever, keep an employee you can't trust. No matter how clever, knowledgeable or productive they are, your inability to trust them will hurt you far, far more than any temporary loss.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Likewise ...

      Never, ever, keep a customer you can't trust.

      Contrary to popular belief, the customer is not always automatically right, and you can fire them.

      1. Catkin Silver badge

        Re: Likewise ...

        I prefer "the customer is always the customer".

      2. Andy Non Silver badge

        Re: Likewise ...

        I had a client like that once, a multi-million pound manufacturing company I had a good working relationship with. Did loads of software for them and they always paid on time. After a number of years they got taken over by an American firm and it became a nightmare getting paid, so many delays, hoops and hurdles to get past, imposed on them from across the pond. The next time they wanted work doing I said "No, I'm not prepared to deal with you any more."

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Likewise ...

          I've done similar, I was the sole IT support person for a business with several offices, (sounds grand but no, they had maybe 10 people per office), their MD decided to retire and hand down the business to his kids.

          About 6 months later it had become *so* difficult to do business with them to meet their unrealistic expectations, the contantly moving goalposts, never mind actually get paid for it, I waved the white flag and walked.

          18 monhs later they went bankrupt, bailiffs at the door, the works.

          Every now and then I have the pleasure of telling the kids to f*$k off when they contact me via linkedin or some other means.

          1. dinsdale54

            Re: Likewise ...

            In my many years in presales I dealt with a - thankfully - small number of really unpleasant organisations and individuals.

            I once suggested a sales incentive where the top sales rep in the company won the right to tell a customer of their choice to go fuck themselves - regardless of the financial consequences.

            I have never seen such enthusiasm from the sales reps for a reward scheme!

          2. VBF
            Thumb Up

            Re: Likewise ...

            Well done for going on your own terms - I have done similar.

            Love your last line - revenge of a sort and you can only imagine that they're desperate for some help...shame!

        2. Roopee Silver badge

          Re: Likewise ...

          > "No, I'm not prepared to deal with you any more."

          Other options: "Yes, but I'll only do it if you pay me upfront/large payment on a/c", or "Yes, but with weekly/monthly stage payments payable, say, 1 week from invoice" (and put it in writing of course)...

        3. Sampler

          Re: Likewise ...

          Have done that, do photography on the side, friend needed some help for her market research company, first few projects, no issue, but then it started to have to deal with the India out source accounts team and the Kafka nightmare of circular arguments that I just told them to lose my number (once I finally got my money).

        4. CompliantChaos

          Re: Likewise ...

          I dealt with a slow paying customer a little differently: Set up a "draw down" account. They were requested to fund it with sufficient funds to pay for about 20 hours at my current rate. As I performed services, I drew down the account. When the credit in the account got low (around 15%), I reminded them to fund it again - and if they did not, no services were performed, even when there was some credit in the account. I did not have to chase them, they chased me. Oh, if they went lagging on funding the account, my fee went up slightly.

          They did not like the arrangement and complained vociferously, and were encouraged to seek the help of other professionals. They did on some occasions, and were gobsmacked that my fee was as much as 30% lower than folks they found. They came back to "the fold" .EVERY.TIME! And funded the account again and again. Once a year I reviewed the work done and reset the funding level I required for me to even begin to work on the next issue. \C-L

        5. Alan Brown Silver badge

          Re: Likewise ...

          > The next time they wanted work doing I said "No, I'm not prepared to deal with you any more."

          I've done something similar - although in my case it was "due to your bad credit record, advance payment is required"

          Which resulted in company owners initially asking wtf we meant - and going ballistic upon finding that an underling was making her stats look good by delaying payments to a raft of suppliers (which in turn had resulted in various "good customer" discounts having gone away, as well as some applying an "asshole tax")

      3. collinsl Silver badge

        Re: Likewise ...

        > Contrary to popular belief, the customer is not always automatically right, and you can fire them.

        The original part of that was supposedly "The customer is King" (I.E. you should be nice to them and give them what they want whenever possible) but it somehow got corrupted to "the customer is always right" which is not the original intention and actively harms business relationships sometimes.

        1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          Re: Likewise ...

          And the quote is "The customer is always right in matters of taste" ie. if the customer wants their Rolls Royce painted gold with flock wall paper interior then they get it ( at a price ) but if they start telling you how they want the engine designed they can fsck off

          1. The commentard formerly known as Mister_C Silver badge

            Re: Likewise ...

            I remember seeing a photocopier joke* back in the 80s of a lady-of-the-night leaning against a bus stop sign. The punchline was "the customer always comes first".

            * A funny distributed by people photocopying your copy and adding it to their collection. We've got email for that sort of thing now.

        2. Arthur the cat Silver badge

          Re: Likewise ...

          The original part of that was supposedly "The customer is King"

          And sometimes you need a guillotine.

          1. Rich 11

            Re: Likewise ...

            "Humanity will not be free until the last king is throttled with the entrails of the last priest."

            (I always forget who said it, but I heartily support it.)

        3. Bebu
          Thumb Down

          Re: Likewise ...

          "The customer is King"

          Charles I or Louis XVI peut-être? :)

      4. M man

        Re: Likewise ...

        Technically the customer is right up until you"fire" them.

        At which point they're not the customer.

        1. bemusedHorseman
          Facepalm

          Re: Likewise ...

          As a retail salesmonkey, I wish we had the authority to "fire" customers for being twats. But apparently, at least in our district, even the Store Manager no longer has the ability to trespass dangerous customers from the premises anymore! Not without a police report, at least.

          1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

            Re: Likewise ...

            Where is this? Because: As a customer can choose a store to do business with, so every store can choose to deny business with a customer. Including denying entry to the premises. I see no sane reason why this should not be the way. This is the first time I hear something like this "world wide", so I am really interested where and what kind of business it is. As for a hospital, for example, I would get that everyone must be able to access, but a hospital is not a normal business with a retail salesmonkey...

            1. bemusedHorseman

              Re: Likewise ...

              Home Depot, and it's a local law that says that a police report of "reoccuring" violence is required to trespass someone, it's not a company-wide rule that management isn't allowed to. ...Actually, there's a lot of fscked up laws in my area targeted specifically at retail employees. Like for example, if you "haven't clocked out for lunch before the five-hour mark", it's not the company that gets penalized, it's YOU for "refusal to take a required lunch". As in, the state labor board fines you personally for the infraction. But only for retail employees! The labor board doesn't give a flip if an Amazon warehouse slave even gets a pee break, let alone a lunch... they only care about and penalize retail employees.

              1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

                Re: Likewise ...

                > Home Depot

                Actually I wanted to know: Which country?

                1. Terry 6 Silver badge

                  Re: Likewise ...

                  I'm guessing USA. It's a chain they have.

                  But also, my experience of Mastodon, in particular, is that posts which don't state their (relevant) location generally end to be USA.

                  1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

                    Re: Likewise ...

                    > I'm guessing USA. It's a chain they have.

                    Ah, I understand. But then it raises the next question: Which USA? There are 50 states, and their laws differ widely from state to state. Even from county to county, from city to city, from town to town, from village to village...

                    > But also, my experience of Mastodon, in particular, is that posts which don't state their (relevant) location generally end to be USA.

                    This is a weird bubble thinking, like those 3.75% population of 8 billion humans on earth are the definition of the world and everything revolves around them. Though, when I hear from Americans living abroad and coming back: The US news is only about US, and all foreign news is only reported when it affects US. One of those many reverse culture shocks, and they all say the same about the news.

                    1. Terry 6 Silver badge

                      Re: Likewise ...

                      ": The US news is only about US,"

                      That would be an improvement.

                      Having visited my cousins in the US ans stayed in their home a few times, you'd be amazed how little national news there is. Most of it is very local, as far as I could see,

                      And of course, this is the nation that thinks "football" defaults to meaning the version only they play ( and even they play the proper version outside the big arenas).

                      And who have a World Series in a sport than no one from any other country plays in against them.

                      1. Hot Diggity

                        Re: Likewise ...

                        Well the World series does also include Canada so it's slightly international.

                        Apparently the World series was named after the New York World newspaper rather than because it was an international competition.

            2. Terry 6 Silver badge

              Re: Likewise ...

              Even hospitals can refuse treatment to a dangerous/violent patient.

            3. Great Southern Land

              Re: Likewise ...

              And even hospitals have zero-tolerance for abusive behaviour.

      5. mistersaxon

        Re: The customer is always right ...

        That ONLY applies to matters of personal taste - if the customer wants a wide-brimmed turquoise hat and a flamingo-pink coat then don't argue with them, let them have it. That's where and why the remark was coined and should not be taken to apply to any other matters in the store, including such things as whether the customer gets a discount, payment terms, is allowed to defame staff or demand "compensation" for imagined slights, etc etc.

        I do hate the way that piece of advice for sales staff has been taken and turned into a cudgel to be used against any member of staff, anywhere, at any time, for any reason.

        1. Terry 6 Silver badge

          Re: The customer is always right ...

          This is also a bit like the "I pay your wages" claim.

      6. Richard Cranium

        Re: Likewise ...

        Some customers are so demanding the cost of keeping them outweighs the benefit. If you explicitly fire them there's a risk they'll badmouth you.

        One solution is to gradually increase your response time and charges.

        If you're a large corporate or a government body the solution is to have a "help desk" behind a "call waiting" system and staffed by morons with a poor grasp of English who are rewarded for a high call closure rate and penalised if they dare escalate a call to someone competent. The problem customers will move elsewhere and become a drain on your competitor's resources - a double win!

        Two flaws with that - there may be no competitor (Government agencies) but they don't give a f*k about the public they're supposed to be serving and you'll also annoy "good" customers (and miss the opportunity to understand and address genuine problems, imagine if initial reports of problems with Horizon had been recognised, escalated and addressed two decades before it escalated into a massive scandal and cover-up).

        1. Terry 6 Silver badge

          Re: Likewise ...

          In your "two flaws" part of the comment you underplay the main flaw in that argument. i.e. that you will piss off *any* customer who needs to interact with you.

          Also, in many cases, currently what helps the exisiting crap companies to retain their customers is that they're all at it so there's seldom any point changing.

          They all seem to do it........

          They hide or remove phone numbers and email addresses. Instead there's a web page with a tab that says "Contact us" that leads to a page of FAQs that have no relevance to anything that anyone would care about. followed, possible only after you've clicked on one of these, by a link that says "Need more help". This takes you to a generic Help page. On that page, carefully hidden, will be a contact us link. Which leads to the FAQ page...

      7. Alan Brown Silver badge

        Re: Likewise ...

        The customer is only "always right" on matters of personal taste

        Much like "Blood (of the Covenant) is thicker than water (of the womb)", it's one of those phrases which has been twisted to mean almost the exact opposite of the original intention

    2. wolfetone Silver badge

      I work for a company who has an employee like this. Everyone is wary of him, he's a massive c**t. But he's still here, still stealing a living.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      And never let that employee suspect that you're planning to let them go until you are absolutely certain that you can revoke ALL their access the second they get called into the manager's office. As proven by this story.

      1. Bebu
        Windows

        Probably equivalent to the halting problem....

        "absolutely certain that you can revoke ALL their access"

        If I were the target or could ever be I would fabricate something that could not actually provide access until you revoked accesses. Fortunately I would never give a rat's at the best of times.

        Vendors ship such a massive number remote access "opportunities" preinstalled in their product that Alvin's protagonist could just retain a list of the installed hardware and software (even just in his head) and keep an eye on the various security lists and in no time at all: "I'm back! Miss me?"

        If nothing else a situation like this is a wakeup call for the organisation to review policies, all facets of security, operations, logging and documentation. Most SMEs are a complete dog's breakfast and that libels canines.

        1. imanidiot Silver badge

          Re: Probably equivalent to the halting problem....

          That's one of the good reasons it's worth it to have the IT team play "red team" every once in a while in a friendly competition. Winner is the on that gets in undetected, prize is something simple (get to leave an hour early, get the easy jobs for a week, a Mars bar from the vending machine, whatever) and the recognition of your coworkers for "being a smart bastard".

          Then afterwards "blue team" the findings and how to close the holes everyone found.

    4. Pete Sdev

      Agreed.

      Recently had to do something similar (revoking accounts, changing server passwords, etc.) because we couldn't trust the recently let-go cow-orker not to be malicious. Fortunately they weren't senior.

      There is also the corollary rule of "Never never keep working for a company you can't trust".

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Except, where you need the pay check to live, until a new job comes along. Pay to buy food for family is an important duty, above other things.

        1. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

          Working for Untrustworthy Companies

          You may not be able to "buy food for your family" if an untrustworthy company -- or untrustworthy people inside that company -- you work for under-records/under-reports the number of hours you've worked, the number of paid sick hours and vacation hours you have accrued, doesn't send in required tax and unemployment insurance contributions on your behalf, mis-classifies you as an independant contractor, or otherwise fucks you out of money you've rightfully earned in their employ.

          Unfortunately, I've worked for two companies like that, but transitioned as quickly and gracefully as I could to a better employer.

          1. gnasher729 Silver badge

            Re: Working for Untrustworthy Companies

            Not sending in the employee’s taxes is in most countries treated as theft. It is serious trouble. It’s not like your salary: Your salary is legally the company’s money until they pay you and it becomes yours. But your PAYE is _your_ money which the employer should send to the tax office. So not sending it is stealing from you.

            1. Great Southern Land

              Re: Working for Untrustworthy Companies

              Not to mention stealing from the Government.

              In Australia, directors of companies that fail to pay PAYE and Superannuation on time, and fail to do anything about it in a timely manner, can be held personally liable for the unpaid amounts.

            2. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

              Re: Working for Untrustworthy Companies

              Last year I was contacted by the tax office saying there was a shortfall in my PAYE and I needed to pay upwards of 4 grand.

              In fact what they ACTUALLY said was: "You owe us 4 grand, and you have 30 days to pay it." Not a joke, not an exaggeration. That's what they said. After contacting them and being given the runaround by a number of tax office telephone support peeps who were pleasant enough but just didn't know the reason, one called me back and told me it was because my client had used the wrong tax code, and had underpaid tax in the previous tax year; which they were reclaiming.

              Luckily (due to years of experience in contracting fuckery) I have a slush fund for situations like this and could pay it. But imagine if I couldn't? Plenty of people don't have 4 grand floating around, and tax offices aren't known for their leniency - so even though it was a client fuckup, they still came to me.

              1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

                Re: Working for Untrustworthy Companies

                That is something that always ticks me: Need one year or more for their mistakes to even notice, but give a month of less to you on the other side. Everywhere the same.

                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: Working for Untrustworthy Companies

                  I'm still waiting for HMRC to even acknowledge receipt of my letter which they signed for back in July - telling them why their demand for additional tax (also triggering the need for on account payments for the following year) was "incorrect". And they've not responded to my request to explain why when I went to fill in my tax return, I found that someone had changed the address on my account - thus making it rather hit and miss whether I'd get (in a timely manner, or at all) their letters (I work on a very large site, where there are a lot of people, but I'm not an employee of the company who's site it is).

                  It'll be interesting to see how far they will go (or not, and just leave it) before I tax it to the tribunal.

              2. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Working for Untrustworthy Companies

                I had exactly the same thing.

                HMRC will get their money no matter what!

                I think I paid it back over a year in the end.

            3. Tony Mudd

              Re: Working for Untrustworthy Companies

              A bit more borderline is when it takes 6-7 weeks for your pension money to appear in your pension account.

              i.e. the employer has paid you, deducted tax and pension, but it takes ages to appear in the account with the pension provider.

              This was with a large employer and a large (nationwide) pension provider, so someone's sitting on > GBP1million and taking the investment/interest from it.

              It looks like there is a regulation about it, but why is it 56 days (I think), in this day of banking and faster payments etc, the payments should go missing for more than a week.

          2. Terry 6 Silver badge

            Re: Working for Untrustworthy Companies

            Ah yes. Reference here the company bosses/owners that don't report and pay forward National Insurance obligations (while deducting them from staff). Leaving a nasty mess for (ex)employees when the company goes belly-up. My late father was a manager ( and victim) in one such. The insolvency company kept him on for several months to help resolve the tangles.

      2. ICL1900-G3 Silver badge

        ?

        What is a cow orker? How do you ork anything?

        1. collinsl Silver badge

          Re: ?

          By nerking it with your cordwangle

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            By nerking it with your cordwangle

            I'm pretty sure that's the usual advice given by Syd's grandson, RFID Rumpo...

        2. O RLY

          Re: ?

          It's an old reference, made popular through Scott Adam's use in Dilbert and books.

          Excuse the unusual source, but better sources are gone.

          https://academickids.com/encyclopedia/index.php/Cow-orker

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: ?

            "but better sources are gone."

            http://jargon-file.org/archive/

            This particular mispleling first appeared on Usenet sometime in the late 1980s. Sadly, the gookids destroyed the DejaNews archive, so finding the actual date and original poster's handle seems somewhat unlikely at this juncture ... although nothing posted online ever truly goes away, so there is hope.

            Hint: Cow-orker first appears in version 4.1.0 of The Jargon File.

            1. Pete Sdev
              Pint

              Re: ?

              I suddenly feel old given that apparently many people here didn't get my "cow-orker" reference (which I personally picked up lurking at the monastery back in the day).

              Thank you to others (fellow old gits?) for providing the references.

              1. jake Silver badge
                Pint

                Re: ?

                "fellow old gits?"

                I resemble that remark. My round, I think.

            2. Displacement Activity

              Re: ?

              This particular mispleling first appeared on Usenet sometime in the late 1980s. Sadly, the gookids destroyed the DejaNews archive

              That was an act of unforgivable vandalism. Some of the old comp.lang groups were priceless, and you could learn an obscure language quickly just by hanging around for a few months (that basically made my career). Stackoverflow is completey useless for these languages. I occasionally look for backups of some of the groups, but haven't found anything.

            3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              Re: ?

              "Sadly, the gookids destroyed the DejaNews archive,"

              I bet they kept a copy. All that data saved, just in case. And then LLMs became popular and needed data from conversations. They keep the Big 8 for their own LLM and sell access to the cess-pit alt.* hierarchy :-)

              1. imanidiot Silver badge

                Re: ?

                I doubt it, the destruction happened before the need for big data sets for LMMs became clear.

                So much knowledge (and smut) just *poofed* and gone.

        3. hedgie Bronze badge

          Re: ?

          Usually involves painting your missiles yellow, your vehicles red and going to WAAAGH.

        4. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: ?

          I generally see it written "cow irker"

          Irking a cow is not hard but do it from the other side of a strong fence!

          1. jake Silver badge
            Pint

            Re: ?

            Why would I want to irk my cows? It makes their milk taste off, which leads to awful viili, yogurt, cream, butter and cheese.

            Cows are actually quite docile. No fence needed. If you irk them, they will likely turn their back to you and move away.

            Unless they have guns, that is.

            I don't actually drink milk ... milk is made for for baby bovines, not adult humans. Have a beer instead. Much more civilized.

            1. Atomic Duetto

              Re: ?

              Came here expecting “Cows with guns”, wasn’t disappointed.. never gets old.

            2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              Re: ?

              "Cows are actually quite docile. No fence needed. If you irk them, they will likely turn their back to you and move away."

              Sometimes, irking them just means being in the same field if the have calves. There's been a couple of case in the year or so locally of people being killed by cows. I don't remember the precise details, but the cases I remember were not kids out messing about, just ramblers passing by.

              1. Toni the terrible

                Re: ?

                Being frrendly they herd up against you, starting to crush you (not always with intent), you fall and they walk all over you. Some bovines are not at all friendly if they dont know you and/or you have a dog if there are calves about

            3. imanidiot Silver badge

              Re: ?

              "Cows are actually quite docile. No fence needed. If you irk them, they will likely turn their back to you and move away."

              Dairy cows? Maybe. Beef cattle that isn't around humans as much? I wouldn't be so sure. Either cattle if there's calfs around? Prepare to get stomped.

            4. Toni the terrible

              Re: ?

              Try Baileys, makes alcoholics appreciate cream

          2. imanidiot Silver badge

            Re: ?

            The fence is not a requirement for irking the cow though, only for surviving what comes after you've succesfully irked a cow.

            1. YetAnotherLocksmith
              Trollface

              Re: ?

              Bull.

              1. imanidiot Silver badge

                Re: ?

                Nah, you don't even have to irk a bull to make it decide you need to go away (permanently). Just being in it's presence can be enough.

              2. Toni the terrible

                Re: ?

                no its true, honest....

        5. Toni the terrible

          Re: ?

          A Friesian?

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        good company vs. good boss.

        "Never never keep working for a company you can't trust".

        except...at least in my world, we don't really work for "companies"...we work for bosses. Good company and bad boss = bad work experience. Bad company and good boss = good (not bad?) work experience.

        I work for a sh**-hoke company. We are running at a huge loss, huge debt, and desperately need to replace existing hardware and software. Stock price has dropped from five digits (way over inflated) to one digit (probably still over-inflated) over the last five years. No business plan to change any of that. The only thing I trust my employer about is their desire to replace all high paid workers with low-paid off-shore workers, and the fact they will probably do that badly.

        I figured out much of that during the interview process. But the guy I was interviewing with seemed like a good boss. And he is. And having had enough bad bosses over the years (and don't get me wrong, I'm not a perpetual whiner...I have had some FANTASTIC bosses, too), I'm not too eager to jump as long as I have a good boss. HIS boss is a jerk, so I'm sure he'll be jumping when he can and I will leave shortly after. But in the meantime, I'm in no hurry to leave. But then, I have a long and good reputation for the things that matter, I'm not too worried about being tarred with my association with this company. If I were young and starting out and building my reputation, yeah, I'd be afraid of association with this place.

        And posting as anonymous coward because, as I said, I've got a good boss, and I'm not in a hurry to be job hunting.

        1. YetAnotherLocksmith

          Re: good company vs. good boss.

          You make the strongest point.

          It's also solid advice for managers.

      4. TimMaher Silver badge
        Coat

        Especially if it’s ICL/Fujitsu.

    5. Jamie Jones Silver badge

      Indeed. It was shocking to read that they wanted to keep him because he'd done good work, but at the same time thought that he'd wreak revenge if let go.

      1. doublelayer Silver badge

        I guess a competent person who was also a bit unstable. For example, building a real backup location on the cheap could have been useful to a company that wasn't going to build a proper one, but you never do that without permission. I could see a scenario under which an employee could do good work and still have to go quickly.

        1. Jamie Jones Silver badge

          Yeah, I'm not doubting his work, but the fact they were willing to keep someone on who they fully thought capable of being such a loose canon is what got me.

          What would he do if during his employment an employee pissed him off, or the boss refused a pay rise?

          It just seems weird to me that you'd want to keep someone on even though you don't trust them!

          1. An_Old_Dog Silver badge
            Joke

            "loose canon"

            Well, this one's kicking around on the Internet: Pachelbel's Canon in D Minor

    6. Sampler

      He's lucky

      Many who think it's a good idea to take revenge on an employer for being let go end up doing time, he could've easily been hit with computer misuse charges here, quite fortunate the company decide to shrug it off.

      I've only been let go the once, made redundant so they didn't have to pay my visa renewal (I'd been warned by three separate colleagues it's what happens, but having saved the company nearly my wage in wasted expenditure I naively thought I might be an exception). They were clearly clueless when it came to IT (hence saving them six figures a year of wasted expenditure) and I could've done several things that would've caused them a massive headache as a fuck you.

      But the boss was a cow bag and figured karma would get them in the end (which it did, saw a news article how they'd "agreed to step down" from their company a year later) and I'd got a new job six hours later, so need to endanger my visa.

  2. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

    Sounds like they were lucky to get away this just that bandwidth throttle , given the picture painted of the culprit and the knowledge / access he would have had.

  3. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge
    Joke

    Dead mans shoes career progression

    Alvin: " We definately have to fire the boss - he's not trustworthy . I'll be at my desk polishing the CV "

    A BOFH is born.

    1. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

      Re: Dead mans shoes career progression

      A true BOFH never want's to be the boss, at least not in title. Manipulating the person in that post, well, that's just the game!

      1. Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: Dead mans shoes career progression

        A true BOFH never want's to be the boss, at least not in title. Manipulating the person in that post, well, that's just the game!

        'strue dat. Being a mangler means you are more visible.

        Being a normal worker means you are less visible, and have more time for shenanigans.

        1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: Dead mans shoes career progression

          Londo, "No, I have no desire to be emperor. No, I prefer to work behind the scenes. The reward is nearly as great ... and the risk far, far less."

          Icon - It's Friday a pint for him & his keeper.

          1. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

            Re: Dead mans shoes career progression

            And he ended up being Emperor anyway....

            Respect to all of the B5 actors who are no longer with us. You are missed.

        2. cob2018
          Angel

          Re: Dead mans shoes career progression

          While your observations are correct ( most times ) I must point out that BOFH and "normal worker" are in the mathematical class known as "disjoint sets".

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Dead mans shoes career progression

            True enough. A "normal worker" actually exists in reality. A BOFH is an artificial construct, invented for Usenet, and never actually seen in the RealWorld.

            1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

              Re: Dead mans shoes career progression

              Are you sure you didn't swap those?

              I've known lits of BOFH, on a bad day I am one, but have never seen a 'normal worker'

            2. Zoopy

              Re: Dead mans shoes career progression

              "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist"

              1. CountCadaver Silver badge

                Re: Dead mans shoes career progression

                Given the world we live in I'd rather say "The greatest trick ever pulled was convincing humanity that god was benevolent"

                I often think the world has it backwards - the "holy teachings" often justify war, handing over your daughter's to a mob, bigotry and worse along with "be miserable your entire life, suffering is good for you, enjoying yourself is sinful"

                The devil/satan/boogeyman on the other hand is do as you wish and a lot more focus on free will....

                1. jake Silver badge

                  Re: Dead mans shoes career progression

                  The greatest trick was convincing the proles that God (or Gods) existed at all, and that I am the only one who can see/speak with him in real time, so give me lots of money and I'll put in a good word for you. And if you give me a little more, I'll tell ask the god(s) to protect you from the devil/satan/boogeyman as well.

                  Of COURSE you can speak to god(s) by yourself, without me. But he's really, really busy, running the Universe and all, and probably won't have time to talk directly to you ... but I am the chosen one who has his ear, so obviously your message will get through better/faster/clearer if you go through me. That'll be another couple bucks, please.

                2. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: Dead mans shoes career progression

                  the "holy teachings" often justify war, handing over your daughter's to a mob, bigotry and worse along with "be miserable your entire life, suffering is good for you, enjoying yourself is sinful

                  I'd suggest that in general, holy teachings (of a variety of faiths) do not do this. If you look into it, it's usually people who want to misuse "religion" for their own ends.

                  Example, in the west, there's a perception that (for example) Muslim teachings say this. AIUI they don't, but as already pointed out, there are those who like to misrepresent them - as we see some extremists corrupt malleable people into performing acts of terrorism (notice how the ringleaders don't do their own dirty work).

                  That's not to say Christianity hasn't had it's bad spells either.

                  As for not having fun, well that has been true - go back a couple of centuries and Christianity went through a puritanist phase, and many churches are suffering badly these days as a result (having pews, which were deliberately uncomfortable) stopped churches being the centre of communities (school during the week, social club on Fri or Sat nights, and church on Sunday). Most successful churches these days are the ones that have managed to put some fun back into things, and those trying to plan a road forwards are generally trying to do the same. In our church, we're looking at getting rid of the pews, make the place suitable for more than just "an hour a week on Sunday morning", and hopefully find enough alternative uses to pay the bills - if we don't then it'll be a case of struggling on till there's no money left* and then close.

                  * While many think "the church" has loads of money, at the parish level it's a different story.

                3. Toni the terrible

                  Re: Dead mans shoes career progression

                  It's the Priests (not all but enough), the original doctrine is often good for the era but after a while with priests manipulating teachings in their personal beliefs and to their own advantage it can be made to justify the Devil. And when that era ends, the doctrine may not be a good fit, and then there are fanatics and fundermentalists....

            3. Scott 26

              Re: Dead mans shoes career progression

              Happy New Year, jake!

              I see you are still collecting those downvotes like some kind of badge of honour

              1. jake Silver badge
                Pint

                Re: Dead mans shoes career progression

                "I see you are still collecting those downvotes like some kind of badge of honour"

                Normally I wouldn't know about votes thumbs, up or down. I drop them as useless. (Remember, adblockers can block more than just ads).

                But just for you, I'll turn them on for the comments in this one article, and see what I see.

                Looks like 129 thumbs up, and 8 thumbs down, or just under 6% of the total thumbs are down.

                Of those, the 4 votes down that you are commenting on (about 4.3% of the known number of total voters in this comment section, and a full half of the total downvotes) are from deluded people who seem to think the BOFH is somehow very real and relevant, and not a tired, aging cartoon leftover from Usenet.

                Even if I gave a shit about thumbs, I could easily live with a result like that.

                Have a nice day. This round's on me :-)

    2. Zoopy

      Re: Dead mans shoes career progression

      Plot twist: Alvin was a BOFH all along. He framed jis boss, and was pocketing the difference on the bandwidth bill.

      And wanted to take over jis boss' apartment.

  4. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

    Sounds like the network engineer ...

    wasn't called Simon. No problems with Windows installs or database normalization warnings

  5. wyatt
    Stop

    Clearly they need an open window, saves identifying all the credentials that need changing.

    1. rafff
      Happy

      "Clearly they need an open window, "

      Maybe it was a Linux shop: no WIndows

      1. Zippy´s Sausage Factory
        Coat

        Re: "Clearly they need an open window, "

        Linux shops. As soon as anyone mentions Windows they start wine-ing.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I remember a few jobs ago I was brought in as a senior engineer looking after exchange and generally helping run the windows and linux environments.

    My senior manager was totally incompetent who hadn't updated his skills and knowledge for years (the reason i was brought in was because he switched the email gateways to open relays and the firm was blacklisted) He was genuinely the most incompetent people I've ever worked with and had an excuse for everything (we once had an issue with a server that was built over a year before, no blame was being raised but when we had a meeting about fixing it his first comment was I was on holiday when that server was built!)

    Anyway, I was in charge of our outdated email archiving server and started doing regular access audits as I knew a few people had access. The system was terrible and had no auditing so I whipped up some SQL to run reports. It turned out mr slopey shoulders had been running searches on the HR director, FCO and CEOs emails. I reported this to our head of security who then took it to the director and he was called in for a disciplinary. I'm pretty sure he must have had leverage on the director as he kept his job and wasn't punished at all! He left a year later and last I heard he'd been hired for a hosting company as their senior engineer which was a total joke as the guy knew nothing!

    1. Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Silver badge

      hired for a hosting company as their senior engineer

      Tsohost?

    2. cob2018

      This is a first for me. I don't think I have ever before seen a single individual described as "the most incompetent people" before today.

      Useful turn of phrase there.

      1. jake Silver badge

        "I don't think I have ever before seen a single individual described as "the most incompetent people" before today."

        You must be very young, and new to the workforce.

        That, or you lucked into the best job in the world right out of school, and have never left.

      2. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

        This means: His incompetence level is enough for more than one.

      3. steviebuk Silver badge

        Thats how bad he was. So bad he was a collection of bad people

    3. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

      Leverage on the Director

      There was a reason he was running those searches ... to dig up "leverage."

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      He left a year later and last I heard he'd been hired for a hosting company as their senior engineer which was a total joke as the guy knew nothing!

      Sounds like he went to the ISP I'm leaving when my contract's up.

  7. Wellyboot Silver badge

    Hot backup servers?

    A guy who has access to all the files... Does anyone think he 'actually' paid for those servers?

    1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
      Holmes

      Re: Hot backup servers?

      ...or that they were solely for hosting the remote backup for the company, and had no other usage?

    2. Marty McFly Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Hot backup servers?

      Hardware costs aside, power & cooling for servers is not a trivial expense. I have a tough time believing this was a truly benevolent undertaking. Was a 'hot backup' actually present, or was that just the cover story?

      Being unauthorized, undocumented, and hidden verges on criminal activity and should have been dealt with accordingly.

      1. rcxb Silver badge

        Re: Hot backup servers?

        power & cooling for servers is not a trivial expense

        Depends where you are.

        Some areas have cheap electric rates.

        Some areas are cold year-round, and remote so there are no city gas lines, only electric. Before heat-pumps became cheap, resistive heating was the thing, so a few servers would just mean a bit less work for your heater, no change to your electric bill.

      2. jake Silver badge

        Re: Hot backup servers?

        "verges on criminal activity"

        Verges?

      3. jake Silver badge

        Re: Hot backup servers?

        "Hardware costs aside, power & cooling for servers is not a trivial expense."

        As long as there is no heavy I/O requirement, the entire thing could probably be hosted on a couple of modern laptops. Headless laptops, at that, making initial hardware cost free.

    3. Bebu
      Windows

      Re: Hot backup servers?

      "they needed a hot backup site, and when they balked at the cost"

      That bit rings true. I suspect a case of the "pot calling the kettle..."

      I suspect many here have seen things while not quite "Universes where the laws of physics were devised by a madman*", have come very close.

      If I were Alvin I would have advised the organisation to have asked the engineer what he actually wanted in toto (everything) and then given it him and then advised these lords and masters to resign en masse. (He who covets the crown often isn't so keen when he discovers it comes with a kingdom.) Not a mess I would want to have ever been identified with.

      This sort of nonsense and worse is still tragically prevalent and without legislative sanctions that place criminal responsibility at door of the C-suite nothing will change.

      *The Rings of Akhaten

  8. J.G.Harston Silver badge

    I had one job where I was brought in after the senior engineer had been fired, taking his knowledge with him. They had recruited a replacement, but he couldn't start for a couple of months. Nothing was documented, everything was in his head. I spent the time getting everything documented with backup printouts, and was confident that J. Random Stranger could walk in and take over and know how the system worked.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    employee of the year

    Many years ago, in France (this is important) a colleague had devised a cunning plan for his career:

    - smoke and drink coffee a lot, all day long

    - scrupulously screw things beyond repair for EVERY of his actions

    It served him well, for years because, with time, any time any kind of work was heading his way, the rest of the team, tired to fix his shit, would just step in and say "Boss, no, I'm gonna take care of this", leaving him with nothing to do.

    Years after, we moved him to another french team, bigger, where his incompetence would be less visible or damageable.

    And no, this being France, we could never fire him ...

    1. adam 40

      Re: employee of the year

      Probably because he was from a "grande ecole"?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: employee of the year

        Mostly because people "think" they can't fire someone for gross incompetence.

        It is done on a regular basis in France, and the fired guy can then appeal to the Prud'Hommes, but with enough documentation it is not a big problem, only lot of time lost.

        1. Trixr

          Re: employee of the year

          Yeah, that kind of narrative annoys me, because it's never so "impossible" to fire someone as is stated. It can certainly be a right royal pain in the ars3 with all the "counselling" and "training opportunities" and "performance plans" that might be required as evidence to get rid of someone. But a year of that is better than multiple years with a useless employee.

          Also, that kind of attitude about its impossibility leads to the increasing reliance on so-called "contract" employees working permanent jobs, essentially. But at least you have the opportunity to get rid of them within 6 months/a year if they turn out to be useless. That just outsources the stress of employee management to the employee themselves. Fine if you like being a contractor and having the stress of renegotiating your employment at $interval, but I could personally do without it.

          Employers could make more use of trial periods as well, But big companies love the leverage that workforce casualisation gives them, even if the quality goes down with the constant churn.

          1. Terry 6 Silver badge

            Re: employee of the year

            " It can certainly be a right royal pain in the ars3 with all the "counselling" and "training opportunities" and "performance plans""

            I've suffered that.

            Some years back we had a totally useless *specialist* teacher in a part of our service, who was just wasting the life chances of the kids he was supposedly supporting. Time after time he'd survived disciplinaries, with all the mentoring and support and targets to meet.

            As far as I'd seen of him his teaching was to just pull out a set of materials that he'd been using year in year out since forever.and take the kids through them- not in any way matched to the kids' actual needs

            The various managers started disciplinary proceedings, set what they thought were targets- which of course he met, because they were all performative. The managers involved were all of the exteachers-who-wanted-to-get away-from-teaching types. So had no idea what targets were meaningful

            Targets set, targets met, Nothing changed. Rinse and repeat. For about 10-15 years!!!.

            One year I was appointed his "mentor"- which is why I knew his targets were just shit.

            Next time round I was the manager prosecuting. I've always taught and refused to join that office-bound type, even as a deputy head. I was always a teacher first and foremost.

            So my targets were all about the quality of teaching and lesson planning with relevance to the target child. Rather than generic "Do planning" "record outcomes".

            I specified that he had to demonstrate how his "planning" referred to the specific documented needs of the specific children on his case load*. That his "outcomes" measured how the child's learning had changed with regard to the defined needs. And so forth.

            He was gone within two weeks ( some deal supported by the union, but with no pay-off or anything) - because I had him bang to rights. No bullying, nothing underhand. I just specified what his job was meant to be. What he was being paid to do. And what the schools/families of those kids had a right to expect. Because he just didn't have the skills or willingness to meet those professional targets (despite years of regular and expensive training!)..

            *You'd have thought this was obvious, wouldn't you?? That's mangers for you, though.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: employee of the year

      "And no, this being France, we could never fire him ..."

      whereas in UK, someone that incompetent would be made a govt minister .....

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: employee of the year

        Oh, that happens in France too.

  10. Bitsminer Silver badge

    ...pith helmet...

    $WORK accidently hired a guy from California. Complete with beard, pith helmet, khaki shorts, leather jesus boots, and Valley Accent.

    He was straight out of a Hollywood stereotype factory.

    We soon discovered he spent too much time actually hacking websites and trolling very illegal porn sites instead of coding for R&D group.

    It took entirely too much time to fire him.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: ...pith helmet...

      Pith helmet? In California?

      As a native Californian, I can honestly say I have never run across anyone affecting a pith helmet for daily wear. In fact, I can honestly say I have never known anyone that owned one, except as an old family heirloom. And then, they only wore it on Halloween. Once.

    2. jake Silver badge

      Re: ...pith helmet...

      As a side-note, how do you "troll very illegal porn sites"?

      Claim to be Marge Green and tell them you're coming in to close them down, after permanently placing all their content in the public record by displaying it in a session of Congress?

      1. Bitsminer Silver badge

        Re: ...pith helmet...

        Why, by posting pith porn. Obv.

        1. Uncle Slacky Silver badge

          Re: ...pith helmet...

          Was he taking the pith?

  11. ShortLegs

    Im guessing Alvin was not working for a UK company, as any long time senior worker knows employment regs would preclude a contractor having any input into the outcome of a disciplinary.74

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Hahahahaha

      If you seriously believe that then you are going to be somewhat disappointed when you find out that despite what 'should' happen, it does happen all the time!

  12. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

    Effective Decredentialization Before Firing

    Our company had an effective decredentialization procedure they carried out before firing anyone.

    It made me very nervous the two or three times I found myself unable to log in, no matter how slowly-and-carefully I typed my passphrase.

    *Beep-beep-boop-beep* ... "Hello, Help Desk."

    "Hi, Julie, it's Mark. Is there any ... uhm ... administrative reason why I seem unable to log in this morning?"

    "*clickety-clickety-clack* *click-click* Hmm ... *click-clack* No, I don't see a freeze on any of your accounts. There've been a few people calling in with the same symptom this morning, and Networks has been looking into it. If it doesn't clear up, reference ticket number 136089."

    "One-three-six-zero-eight-nine ... got it; thank you."

    1. gnasher729 Silver badge

      Re: Effective Decredentialization Before Firing

      A company I worked for laid off people to the day two years after I started. We knew about the layoffs but not who, and I didn’t realise the two years since starting.

      The day of the layoffs, my keycard didn’t let me in. Went to the admin building (open to the public) and they told me for security reasons all keycards stopped working after two years, and they already had my new card ready.

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Effective Decredentialization Before Firing

        We managed to take revenge in ourselves

        One of our most productive employees was rushing to finish up some stuff on their last day and discovered that our corporate overlords had deleted their access to everything at the end of the day in Europe - we're 8 hours behind.

        We have encrypted home accounts and HR claim that for GDPR we can't have access to anything that wasn't explicitly shared cos they might have personal stuff on their local machine

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Effective Decredentialization Before Firing

      "decredentialization"

      I just Googled that because I couldn't believe it was a real word. Apparently it is. Interestingly "Credential revoking" is two syllables shorter and means the same thing.

  13. HMcG

    So this supposed engineer has an entire hot-backup at home, but is simultaneously rummaging around in the live systems where he knows he might get caught out? Why wouldn't he just access the same files on his own, unmonitored copy?

    I call bullshit on this entire story.

    1. Jou (Mxyzptlk) Silver badge

      > Why wouldn't he just access the same files on his own, unmonitored copy?

      Because he was not as good as he thought? He got caught for being stupid enough to leave trails. Some peoples minds work in weird ways, not thinking ahead far enough even though he should have known.

      The "The engineer was very skilled at gaslighting" hints this type of character, Donald Trump style. Maybe you were lucky and never had to deal with those type of people.

      1. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

        Flakey People

        Sometimes people are just flakey. I once had a boss, whom, on termination day after a downsize-fest, locked himself into his office and refused to come out. By the time the creaky chain-of-command had been activated and messages passed up and down, back-and-forth sideways, etc., it had been half a day. When finally Security came and got him out, his paper-shredder bin was overflowing. I never learned why.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    13 days into 2024...

    ...and I've lost the circle game. Fuck whomever picked the picture for this article.

    1. Scott 26

      Re: 13 days into 2024...

      what picture?

      1. Graham Dawson

        Re: 13 days into 2024...

        Main page, scroll down just under the green bar. Or click here.

  15. FIA Silver badge

    "The company took no disciplinary action against me for my oversight, nor their former network engineer for his sabotage, but chalked it up to a lesson learned for everybody," Alvin told On Call.

    What?

    Alvin should not have faced any action, but action against the former network engineer should have been taken.

    Unless you'd not prosecute in other cases of vandalism?

    Just because IT isn't largely ephemeral doesn't mean it should be treated differently.

  16. steviebuk Silver badge

    "hand over the backup servers" erm no. They are mine on my hardware that you wouldn't pay for. I'll wipe them but you're not getting the kit.

    No doubt he'll have made copies.

    1. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

      "I'll Wipe Them" -- Erm, No.

      "You, our attorney, and our designated tech will accompany you from this meeting to your home, where you will provide all necessary keys, passphrases, and other accesses needed for our designated techie to wipe them. You will then provide all necessary keys, passphrases, and other accesses needed for our tech to wipe all backup media related to those servers, after which you will sign a document laying out what you have done, and attesting that you have not failed to provide access to any media, at any location, upon which you or your associates have emplaced or caused to have become emplaced, copies, in whatever form, of any Company X-owned files, in whole or in part, with financial penalties for failure to comply with the terms in the document. If you fail to comply in any part with this procedure, the matter will be referred for criminal prosecution."

      1. YetAnotherLocksmith

        Re: "I'll Wipe Them" -- Erm, No.

        Ah, give them a Horizon style contract!

        And if they say "I'll run that by my lawyer, my hourly rate is £350."?

  17. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

    ""The company took no disciplinary action against me for my oversight..."

    I should bloody well hope not.

  18. Stuart Castle Silver badge

    Nothing to do with IT, this...

    When I was a student, I needed a job. I got a job as a shelf stacker for my local Sainsburys while I looked for something more interesting.

    I used to work Friday and Saturday nights from 10pm to about 3am.

    The money was fairly crap, and the job was awful. The stock was arranged into cardboard pallets, and we had to put out 40 pallets an hour. Difficult to do at the best of times, but made even worse by the fact that our store had shelves half the size of the standard Sainsbury's ones at the time, so every pallet needed to be repacked to fit. I used to go home drenched in sweat and aching, despite being in my 20s.

    In the month or so I worked there, one of my colleagues hit the target once. He went to the manager, who just looked at him and asked "Why are you telling me this?",adding "Instead of telling me, you should be putting out more pallets".

    At the end of the month, Blockbuster opened up a shop about a mile away. They advertised for staff. Being a film buff, I applied for the job and got it. The job still involved a fair amount of physical work, but I was paid slightly more (still a crap wage) and worked with people (including management) who I liked.

    One of the greatest pleasures I've had is when I told my manager at Sainsburys. I didn't just pull him aside and tell him (as I would have normally). I waited until the shop was really busy, took him in to the middle of the area where people used to queue at the checkouts, and in full view of dozens of people, told him to go fuck himself and stick his job up his arse, then walked out during the stunned silence that followed.

    TBH, I'm surprised I wasn't banned.

    1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

      "I got a job as a shelf stacker for my local Sainsburys..."

      That was my very first job as well; experience very similar to yours. Memories of three quarter-length brown coats and the stench of bananas still haunts me to this day...

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    also if you're in the position of being "let go" Make sure you are put on gardening leave and HAVE ALL YOUR ACCESS PRIVILEGES revoked, to avoid any accusations if things go tits up!

  20. Cooper Coopie Coo

    It would be interesting to know what HR files he was looking at and why. I would be surprised if he was not influencing events based on the information he was gathering. I would also be surprised that he was not either altering data, selling it or both with that home backup server. I is hard to believe that he was taking an enormous risk and expense by shear happens pence with zero ulterior motives. I think Alvin missed the bigger picture just like he missed the Internet.

  21. Cooper Coopie Coo
    WTF?

    Missing the Big picture

    It would be interesting to know what HR files he was looking at and why. I would be surprised if he was not influencing events based on the information he was gathering. I would also be surprised that he was not either altering data, selling it or both with that home backup server. I is hard to believe that he was taking an enormous risk and expense by shear happens pence with zero ulterior motives. I think Alvin missed the bigger picture just like he missed the Internet.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Insider threat!

    I worked as ITSM for a switch that processed %80 of card transactions for a certain country, there was a guy who had worked there for over a decade. He was the only person who fully knew how the switch worked at the coding level. He smelt bad, had half his breakfast still in his nicotine stained beard, wore a stained t shirt, had desk piled up with crap, he was rude to everyone, and had a lot of secrets in his personal life, he flatly refused to transfer any information to work collogues, he never took more than a few days holiday at a time. I flagged him as a risk from day two on site. He had so many reasons to be disciplined, but HR and the CEO were scared of him! One day I came across a print out he had forgotten that was for a farm he had purchased at auction, there was no way he could have bought it at the rate he was being paid. I reported it to anyone who would listen, but everyone just kept their heads down and ignored it!

    1. Albatross

      Re: Insider threat!

      Huh, that SAME guy worked at a place where I once worked! His cubicle was piled with garbage, with a spherical indentation into which he could socket his bulk. When his cubicle gets too fragrant the office shuffles the cubicles, which process persuades him to toss some of the trash.

      The first meeting I had with him I asked why a certain set of systems were directly exposed to the Internet, on public IPs. He shouted at me, and I was later told that he was particularly sensitive that "for performance reasons" those systems remain directly on the Internet with no firewall. Still are to this day.

      Garbage guy was presenting during a meeting with me, several others, and one particularly puckish colleague when a question was raised about the "backplane" of a certain switch. Garbage guy started tying "backplane" into his search bar, but when he had typed "back" the searchbar briefly displayed something akin to "https backpages(.)com / City / escorts / redhead /..."

      I exchanged a look with my puckish colleague, who took the next opportunity to ask Garbage guy to explain "the backplane thing" again. Sure enough, Garbage guy repeats the entire process, and the URL appeared again.

      Nothing came of it, Garbage guy is still there and I'm long gone, but... ew.

    2. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

      Interpretations

      I initially interpreted your first sentence up to the comma as referring to Hollerith (punched) cards, not credit cards, thinking, "Wow ... but yeah, I've seen that type of mixed technology levels before."

      In the 1980s, I went to a college where their shiny-new IBM 4330 was connected across the campus to a room with a minicomputer-and-terminals-attached-to-it. Also in that room, was an IBM Remote Job Entry station, which was how we talked with the 4330 mainframe. While the other students did their work interactively via the terminals hooked up to the minicomputer (a Texas Instruments 990/12), we punched our cards offline, then dumped them into the RJE and waited for our printouts.

  23. This post has been deleted by its author

  24. This post has been deleted by its author

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I haven't personally had to fire anyone, but my old boss was.

    We never had any official reason given, or notice. Not that I would expect either.

    Apparently, not long before 5 one friday afternoon, my boss's boss turned up to my boss's office with a large security guard in tow. He grabbed my boss, and took him to his office. I never saw the boss again. My colleagues were ordered to pack up his personal effects for the company to deal with, and also ordered to remove all of his access to our systems. They were told not to leave until this was done. Apparently although they didn't normally get overtime, any overtime required was paid.

    The next monday, me and one of my colleagues were called to see the big boss, who said she'd heard we maintained friendships with my boss outside of work. In my case, that was not true, but in my colleague's case, it was. She said she could not order us to do this, as she had no control of our lives away from work, but she recommended we cut all contact with him. We did so.

    I later heard a rumour that he was selling company equipment cheaply and illegally, but have never been able to confirm that. Nor have I really tried.

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