back to article NASA engineers scratch heads as Voyager 1 starts spouting cosmic gibberish

NASA's veteran Voyager 1 spacecraft has stopped transmitting engineering and science data back to Earth. The issue appears to be with the Flight Data System (FDS), which is not communicating correctly with one of the probe's subsystems - the Telemetry Modulation Unit (TMU). Rather than useful data, the TMU is simply …

  1. b0llchit Silver badge
    Alien

    Excelent design - aliens must be proud

    Talk about resilient design, (severely) remote operation and mind boggling distance. If I had a hat I'd take it off in awe while still making that big bow to the designers and maintainers. And that is regardless if they manage to fix the current problem or not. However, I bet they'll find yet another fix to extend the mission.

    With that said, I'm almost sure that the current problem of gibberish is caused by aliens taking a sniff at V'ger and are actively contemplating its future as a new probe on a path to find its creator(s). Cheers to that! ;-)

    1. Sub 20 Pilot

      Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

      Could you imagine Voyager 1 and 2 being prepared for use these days ?

      Would need billions of gigabytes of storage for any onboard software, would need to upgrade online very few days with a billion times more bandwidth that V1 and V2 have, would need constant rebooting and troubleshooting with at least half the time not working. Would be filled with useless shit and nagging adverts.

      My humble respect for the engineering skills of the people who put the kit together in the 70's. It would be just fantastic to have their skills and work ethos in all software design now as opposed to the total clusterfuckery that has been allowed to proliferate.

      1. MachDiamond Silver badge

        Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

        "Would need billions of gigabytes of storage for any onboard software, would need to upgrade online very few days with a billion times more bandwidth that V1 and V2 have, would need constant rebooting and troubleshooting with at least half the time not working. Would be filled with useless shit and nagging adverts."

        I'll give you one guess why NASA doesn't use Windows as a basis for spacecraft software.

        1. Kurgan

          Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

          Hope they don't even use the pile of shit that the modern linux has become, since systemd and cloud init and network manager and such.

          1. psychopomp

            Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

            IIRC (and I do - checked!) Torvalds published the first Linux kernel in 1991? And the voyager missions launched in, oh, 1977? Please explain (with diagrams to aid the hard of understanding...) how they could be programmed using an OS which would not exist for fifteen years? FYI, I use Slackware and derivatives but - please tell me - what's the point of your post?

            1. TheWeetabix Bronze badge

              Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

              They were commenting about spacecraft in general, including ones that are presumably being just launched like the James Webb. Tell me what is the point of making a reply when you clearly didn’t read the original thread?

            2. Zolko Silver badge

              Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

              using an OS

              I doubt that Voyager computers use any OS at all. I rather think the programs are coded in assembly (or even machine language probably, as that would save a couple of kB) to the bare metal

              1. captain veg Silver badge

                Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

                Assembly is simply a notation for machine code. Once assembled the output is machine code. No bytes saved.

                -A.

                1. jake Silver badge

                  Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

                  I've seen output from assemblers that contain copyright info and all kinds of other useless corporate lawyer-speak. The spacecraft contain none of that cruft.

                  Note that a lot of the code for Voyager was initially put together for the Viking program's CCS (Computer Command System), which Voyager shared for cost reasons. They were hand-built by JPL.

                  The code for the CCS was initially developed in Fortran IV, then ported to Fortran 77. These days, they mostly use C.

                  Strangely enough, I have never seen the braying fanbois calling to port it all to Rust. I wonder why ...

                  1. Stork

                    Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

                    Are you sure the lawyer-speak can be omitted? What would the interstellar legal desk say?

                2. Zolko Silver badge

                  Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

                  Assembly is simply a notation for machine code

                  not according to wikipedia:

                  Unlike high-level languages, there is a one-to-one correspondence between many simple assembly statements and machine language instructions. However, in some cases, an assembler may provide pseudoinstructions (essentially macros) which expand into several machine language instructions to provide commonly needed functionality

              2. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

                Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

                A better choice would have been to use Forth (perhaps they did), as compiled Forth code is more-compact than machine code, though at the expense of some speed. (If you disbelieve this is possible, I refer you to Byte magazine, Volume 5, Number 8, August, 1980, which was dedicated to threaded interpretive languages in general, and Forth in particular.)

                1. CatBoy

                  Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

                  Byte magazine

                  I'd forgotten all about that till I saw your post... loved it .. was a fortune to buy for a young teen back in the day from the big W.H.Smiths in the next town over... special bus journey once a month.

                  I suppose I've dumped them all due to house moves etc as they aren't in the loft anymore.

                  Must see if they are online anywhere... be nice to see some adverts for things like Tandy (who,what ?. say the youth of today) adverts.. Used to drool at those pages..

                  Excellent job all at NASA. Certain my crappy coding won't be around in 50 years .

                2. jake Silver badge

                  Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

                  "as compiled Forth code is more-compact than machine code,"

                  However, FORTH has a relatively large run-time memory overhead, negating the advantage.

                  1. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

                    Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

                    @jake: However, FORTH has a relatively large run-time memory overhead, negating the advantage. As with many things, "it depends." There are things you can do to reduce the size of the dictionary. Program functionality is another factor. If you're looking at straight x86 assembler of a "Hello, world" program, vs the Forth version, the straight assembler's machine code probably will take less memory than the Forth version. If your program has a lot of functionality, things change. YMMV.

                    1. jake Silver badge

                      Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

                      I was talking about the CCS, as shipped on Viking and Voyager.

                3. rajivdx

                  Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

                  Umm... Forth gets compiled into machine code.

                  If its machine code is more compact than your machine code then it just means you're writing crappy machine code.

                  I remember when I was writing assembly/machine code, we would use techniques like XORing a register with itself to zero it rather than loading 0 which took up more space - modern compilers all use tricks like this.

          2. rcxb Silver badge

            Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

            modern linux has become, since systemd and cloud init and network manager and such.

            Network Manager works great. If you've got a number of different interfaces that come and go (whether Wi-Fi or wired, whether automatically or something you just want to toggle off/on), the old method doesn't handle that well. nmtui makes it easy to set them up and manage. My only big problem with NMTUI is that it doesn't have a simple check-mark to send response to incoming packets on the same interface they arrived on. Gotta do a couple long "nmcli connection modify" commands to get that.

            Systemd is a nice improvement too. Simple service file syntax, single line change for different types of processes (daemon/foreground/etc.), and a one-line config change to restart services when they quit... no need for some other service manager/monitor in parallel. It also has several features I find anti-useful, but still a plus.

            1. Zolko Silver badge

              Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

              Systemd is a nice improvement too. Simple service file syntax, single line change for different types of processes (daemon/foreground/etc.), and a one-line config change to restart services when they quit...

              you know very well that the problem with SystemD isn't the "init " part of it, but that it integrates many other stuff that have nothing to do with "init " (udev, login ...), and thus violating the very Unix principle of "doing one thing and doing it well ". And also that it's pushed down the throat of every Linux variant by BigMegaCorp (RedHat/IBM) making life hard for everybody else. This looks like a classical Embrace, Extend, Extinguish method used by Microsoft in the past. And guess who does the maintainer of systemd work for ?

            2. KSM-AZ

              Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

              (Off Topic)

              Systemd is growing on me. Early implementations were abysmal. The general network configuration stuff is pretty bad, and I would say the state of network configuration in Linux in general went from simple to abysmal starting with 'predictable' interface names, which are just the opposite, solving a problem that did not exist. net.ifnames=0. RH variants with /etc/sysconfig, and slackware with its script file, debian and ifup-down, netplan.io. . . Networkmanager solved a problem for mobile / desktop, but I find it a tad arcane. I figured out how to create a portable bond/bridge/vlan configuration with systemd after getting rid of the bizarre 'predictable' names. Want to talk complicated, from a single file with a handful of stanza's with ifup-down to a bowl of vegetable soup. Then and upgrade broke it, I fixed it, and an upgrade broke it, and I fixed it.

              To configure 4 interfaces bonded with 5 vlans on bridges to run with KVM/QEMU you'll need to build this stupidity, we won't even go into the contents of the files:

              <304>lf

              bond1.1099.netdev bond1.1101.network bond1.4001.netdev br0.1099.netdev br0.1101.network br0.4001.netdev

              bond1.1099.network bond1.1102.netdev bond1.4001.network br0.1099.network br0.1102.netdev br0.4001.network

              bond1.1100.netdev bond1.1102.network bond1.br0.network br0.1100.netdev br0.1102.network br0.netdev

              bond1.1100.network bond1.3001.netdev bond1.netdev br0.1100.network br0.3001.netdev br0.network

              bond1.1101.netdev bond1.3001.network bond1.network br0.1101.netdev br0.3001.network

              OTOH, It did actually solve existing problems, and they took a somewhat modular if rather complex approach with it. Not thrilled with the journald logging either. Systemd-resolved/resolvectl is very good, hopefully they won't break it. I try and use the parts that work the best, but the biggest problem I have is they keep breaking things. 'systemctl edit' is a nice idea, but we keep changing how the overrides work, and at the moment I'm not sure if it adds on to a section or completely replaces it. It has done both in the past.

              1. John Robson Silver badge

                Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

                If it does several things well then it completely fails at the basic "do one thing well".

                If there are better ways to do those several things then write something to do each of them - not something to do all of them, and a whole pile of other things - such that no person needs more than 30% of what's there (even if on aggregate 90% of it is used).

        2. anthonyhegedus Silver badge

          Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

          Can you imagine? "Something went wrong" or "Please activate your software" or even a situation where updates are downloaded and installed followed by a reboot in the middle of a transmission.

          Seriously though, the whole thing is going to be still severely limited and won't be based on modern systems. It needs to be able to run predictable, tight, code. It needs to use as little storage as possible for everything else and it needs to have redundancy.

          We can do all of that stuff now - better and more reliable than before. I doubt it would use anything from Enterprise or general computing though. At least not anything current.

          1. ThatOne Silver badge

            Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

            > We can do all of that stuff now

            [citation needed]

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

            > Can you imagine? "Something went wrong" or "Please activate your software"

            Or: "we're sorry, your science package is only licensed for use within the solar system. Telemetry indicates you have passed the heliopause. Please contact sales for a quotation on an update to the Pro level package."

            1. Jaybus

              Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

              Headline: Malicious code found in a popular JavaScript library allows hackers to pwn Voyager 23 and demand a record $100 billion ransom from NASA.

          3. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

            "We can do all of that stuff now - better and more reliable than before"

            Nope, we can't. Any modern processor will be toast in hard space in hours and we don't have any factory left which could make same style of processor Voyager is using. Some laboratories can but that's basically hand made then.

            Whole thing boils down to component size and hard radiation. Old chips have huge components by modern standards so random cosmic ray hitting them just makes a hole, it doesn't break whole component.

            Modern chips have very small components (circuits) and one unlucky ray breaks whole thing. Enough circuits dead and whole chip is dead. Also making smaller components means they are inevitably *less* reliable.

            1. BinkyTheMagicPaperclip Silver badge

              Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

              You'll need to cite details on that. At least going back not *too* long, IBM could still provide radiation hardened PowerPC processors.

              Also, whilst it's true there's now only two large players in the latest processor fabrication, I suspect they could still fabricate to older technology, and even if they can't there are smaller fabs that could produce e.g. pentium III level technology or earlier. Obviously that's rather out of date by modern standards, but you don't necessarily need all modern tech for a space craft.

              1. Spazturtle Silver badge

                Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

                "IBM could still provide radiation hardened PowerPC processors."

                BAE Systems purchased that division from IBM, and these days they also offer radiation hardened ARM CPUs in addition to PowerPC.

              2. Alan Brown Silver badge

                Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

                "At least going back not *too* long, IBM could still provide radiation hardened PowerPC processors."

                There are several rad hardened CPUs available. They're not the latest tech but they're not ancient history either

          4. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge
            Boffin

            Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

            What is the Enterprise you are referring to?

            XCV 330?

            NX 01?

            NCC 1701?

            1. ravenviz Silver badge
              Terminator

              Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

              Federation Timeship Relativity NCV-474439-G

              Ooh, tsssss!

          5. ITMA Silver badge
            Devil

            Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

            "Seriously though, the whole thing is going to be still severely limited and won't be based on modern systems."

            In case you hadn't realised, the hardware designs of spacecraft, especially deep space ones, is frozen many many months if not YEARS before it is launched and end up "on mission".

            So of course it will be "out of date".

            "We can do all of that stuff now - better and more reliable than before"

            We could do it all back in the 60's when the Voyagers' design was started. As for "better and more reliable" - show me ANYTHING today which has been working without having to be physically repaired or touched for 45+ YEARS and still working

            The fact these 60's technology spacecraft have is utterly remarkable.

        3. HelpfulJohn

          Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

          "I'll give you one guess why NASA doesn't use Windows as a basis for spacecraft software."

          Because they are all nerds and prefer Unix?

          Because Congress won't give them funding for a licence?

          Because they live in bunkers and windows would be a blast hazard?

          Because they live on energy drinks and Apple is the only fruit they get?

          Oh, that's more than one, sorry.

        4. FuzzyTheBear
          Pint

          Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

          Just the small matter of windows freezing on the USN battleship leaving it totally vulnerable to attacks.

          Never use commercial off the shelf Windows if you need a stable reliable military grade OS or anything mission critical.

      2. DS999 Silver badge

        They would design it for small updates

        Even if it had gigabytes of software on board they'd set it up so things are updated in small chunks like 512 bytes or 4K or whatever at a time. That would allow making changes without downloading the whole thing. Sure it might be kind of ugly spaghetti code over time, but they'd have test systems on Earth and have multiple banks so they could make a change to one bank and if it didn't work it would automatically switch back to the previous working bank.

        1. ITMA Silver badge
          Devil

          Re: They would design it for small updates

          When only 9 days from Pluto the NASA New Horizons mission suffered a "computer glitch" which caused it to switch from the primary to the backup computer system.

          They also lost contact for what seemed an excrutiating length of time.

          When back in contact they found what had happened and that all the careful programming for the Pluto encounter, done over a considerable length of time, had been lost in the switch over.

          So with less than 9 days to go the New Horizons mission team had to rebuild and upload the whole thing again - which they did successfully.

          The one absolute hard rule in deep space exploration - the planets do NOT wait.

          https://news.wttw.com/2018/05/17/chasing-new-horizons-untold-drama-behind-pluto-mission

          https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7uv9wq

      3. vekkq

        Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

        i'm waiting for DRM on rockets. What could possibly go wrong ..

        1. bombastic bob Silver badge
          Trollface

          Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

          and don't forget 2FA if you have not sent commands in a while. For something out where V'ger is, it could double (or maybe triple) the delay as it sends a code to a phone dedicated to receiving text messages from spacecraft, and then you send the code back up to the spacecraft to prove it's you.

          1. katrinab Silver badge
            Alert

            Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

            And the 2FA code is only valid for 10 minutes ...

    2. TDog

      Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

      Well as all the prior literature tends to sugest "Anal Probing", for probes, (or maybe that is just too much of sexstories.com) could I please request that we melt the gold disc showing them where to find us. And if we can't do that, could we please melt the bit that shows the invitingly present USB(456231 C (Version 278/56/021), insertion point.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

      While I'm in awe of the 1970s technology I can't help but notice this in the article "return it to the state it was in before the issue began"... so who changed what and broke it?

      I also feel there's a lot of hyperbole here. People, apparently need to read decades old documentation... how is that any different to reading documentation from 10 minutes ago? Other than the fact that the old documentation has probably had the bugs ironed out.

      It is old hardware but I assume they've had simulators around for a while so any change can be tested out, even taking into account the large distances involved. I would have thought all of this would have been done many years ago.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

        " People, apparently need to read decades old documentation... how is that any different to reading documentation from 10 minutes ago?"

        Really? Have you ever tried?

        First, it refers to organizations and procedures which won't exist anymore. Not even documentation of them existing at some point doesn't exist. Secondly, it will refer to tools, hardware and software which won't exist anymore. Third: Most probably it will also refer to personnel who have died 20 years ago for assistance.

        I had a nice p-Pascal compiler for university's AmSys microcomputer (8080) on a 8" floppy. Having a bunch of code written for it on paper does not help a lot, even when I wrote it myself.

        And you do not understand why old *technical* documentation is a problem?

        1. Bebu Silver badge
          Windows

          Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

          "And you do not understand why old *technical* documentation is a problem?"

          Just a taste of the joys of old documentation have a shot at the Multics documentation https://www.multicians.org/biblio.html About the same era as Voyager 1 and the last running Multics site was decommissioned in 2000. They knew how to build to last.

          I can not imagine Voyager 1 built by anything involving Musk making it to Mars let alone the outer solar system.

          1. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge
            Coat

            Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

            Could the Tesla sent in space by EM have hit Voyager?

            1. jake Silver badge

              Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

              No. Musk's car doesn't have the range.

              Not by several orders of magnitude.

        2. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

          Old Tech Docs Rendered Less-Useful by the Passage of Time

          "The following are special purpose registers that were used for missile guidance. Since we are lacking the radar system and missiles, they are of no real use, as of yet.

          Steering Register

          Acceleration Register

          Discrete Register

          Vernier Register

          ... on the lower portion of the console there are quite a few push-button lights and switches that are useful. These will be discussed as they appear on the console from right to left. IGNITION SWITCH - A key is required here. The key may be obtained in the Computer Center, Kidder 130. Turning the key to the right turns the computer on. POWER ON - After the ignition key is turned on the Power On switch is depressed. This turns the computer on and the drum begins to rotate. When the Power On switch turns green the drum is finally up to operating speed and the computer is ready to operate. POWER OFF - This light should be on whenever the motor generator is on. If this is not on the motor generator must be turned on before the ignition switch is of any use. Someone in the NEBULA room should be able to turn the motor generator on if necessary."

          From, An Introduction to the ATHENA Computer, by Brian Dumont, May 16, 1969.

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Excelent design - aliens must be proud

          Yes I have worked with old documentation and for a "live" project like this it tends to be kept up-to-date... it's not like they haven't been communicating with Voyager all these years and had to go to the basement with the beware of the leopard sign!!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Have they tried

    Turning it off and on again,?

    1. snowpages

      Re: Have they tried

      From the article: "This past weekend the team tried to restart the FDS and return it to the state it was in before the issue began", so YES.

      1. AVR Bronze badge

        Re: Have they tried

        Sounds like a lot of standard support; you start by telling them you have turned it off and on again, then they ask you that question, then they get you to turn it off and on again. Try a few more things, then you get shunted to the next level which starts exactly the same way...

    2. DJO Silver badge

      Re: Have they tried

      Turning it off and on again

      How 1990's/IT Crowd.

      We "power cycle" equipment, "turn off and on" indeed (shakes head sorrowfully). Actually "power cycle" has been around for while, does anyone have an exciting new 2020's term?

      1. MrDamage Silver badge

        Re: Have they tried

        I use "give it a kick in the guts". Works for computers, and belligerent users.

        1. MachDiamond Silver badge

          Re: Have they tried

          "I use "give it a kick in the guts"."

          We'll let nobby kick it in the fork.

          1. Kane
            Pint

            Re: Have they tried

            "We'll let nobby kick it in the fork."

            .

            .

            .

            "Corporal Nobbs," he rasped, "why are you kicking people when they’re down?"

            "Safest way, sir," said Nobby.

            - Terry Pratchett, Guards, Guards!

            GNU

        2. Cynical Pie
          Joke

          Re: Have they tried

          guts... nuts... its a fine line with some users :)

      2. hittitezombie

        Re: Have they tried

        Have you migrated it to another K8 node?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Have they tried

          > Actually "power cycle" has been around for while, does anyone have an exciting new 2020's term?

          Initiating a zero-going potential impulse and recovery.

          1. Richard 12 Silver badge

            Re: Have they tried

            Readjust the air gap

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Have they tried

              Setting the finite state machine model to a known state ( O F F )

      3. TheRealRoland
        Devil

        Re: Have they tried

        I'm sure we can have some focus group sit together, funded by some venture capitalists, just for this purpose. Where do i send the bill to?

        1. bombastic bob Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: Have they tried

          the Ministry of Edgy Terms and Acronyms

      4. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

        Re: Have they tried

        Not 2020, but an older term that I've not heard in ages...

        IPL

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: Have they tried

          Hard start or cold start.

          1. An_Old_Dog Silver badge

            Re: Have they tried

            "Deadstart" (Control Data terminology).

        2. Admiral Grace Hopper

          Re: Have they tried

          In my internal monologue I still, "key the box".

          I was lucky enough to be invited to IPL the ICL 2900 at Bletchley Park on my last visit. Felt quite like old times.

          1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

            Re: Have they tried

            Perhaps it's time us old fogies and gals start re-introducing these terms into our work environments, before they (and we) die out completely (when we can no longer be re-IPL'd)

          2. el_oscuro

            Re: Have they tried

            In the Army in West Germany, we ran a mobile datacenter with an IBM 360 in the back of a pair of deuce in a half trucks. And we had an IPL tape. The comment written on it was very reassuring: "Might work, might not". It actually did work. And the other backup software we had for that system was grenade proof. Fast Dump Restore sets the standard for every backup program I have seen in the 35+ years since. One time, I needed to restore a critical file and the only backup tape was an old one that had expired and was in the scratch pool. But it hadn't been overwritten yet, so I mounted it and started the restore job. It started reading that tape, then started getting I/O and data check errors on it, dumping all sorts of diagnostic messages on the console. But it kept going past the bad section on the tape - and restored my file from a section on that tape that was actually after the bad section.

        3. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Have they tried

          IPL

          #cp IPL 430

          (sad that I can remember how to start a TPF test machine from my short and inglorious mainframe programming career 30 years ago.. Can't remember the command to mount a (virtual) tape library though)

      5. ravenviz Silver badge

        Re: Have they tried

        "does anyone have an exciting new 2020's term"

        Woke it off and on again.

        1. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

          Re: Have they tried

          Careful now. Our MPs are already complaining about “Woke Archeology” this week, “Woke Physics” can’t be far behind.

          1. YetAnotherLocksmith Silver badge

            Re: Have they tried

            They'd have to have at least a middle school education level to know what physics is, or even heard of it, so I think we are safe for a good while yet. At least until the next election.

            1. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge
              Joke

              Re: Have they tried

              Physics?

              It is done by Physicians, right?

        2. psychopomp

          Re: Have they tried

          'Turned it off, now it's woke'?

      6. Dagg Silver badge

        Re: Have they tried

        "power cycle"

        Actually power cycle in NZ used to be the term the ministry of transport used for a moped. Especially something like a C50 Honda.

        1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Have they tried

          Especially something like a C50 Honda

          My first bike was a Honda C70 step-through. Comprehensively pre-disastered by my 3 older brothers. Riging at night was interesting as it was a choice of "charge the battery" or "have the headlight on"..

      7. Ahosewithnoname

        Re: Have they tried

        "reinitialised the node" used to look good on the helpdesk tickets

      8. Steve Jackson

        Re: Have they tried

        Spontaneously Scheduled Hard Reset

        1. Mast1

          Re: Have they tried

          Isn't there a scale that tops out at "Hard Reset", depending on footwear?

          Eg

          Hard Reset = "Totectors"

          Power cycle = "cycling shoes"

          Soft Reset = "sneakers"

      9. Scott 53

        Re: Have they tried

        I remember someone taking the p*ss out of IT by saying all we do is tell people to "turn it on and off again". They were quite put out when I pointed out that left you with a device that definitely didn't work because it was turned off.

        1. a pressbutton

          Re: Have they tried

          I do that because it seems to reliably end with the object in a known state

      10. Korev Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Have they tried

        We "power cycle" equipment, "turn off and on" indeed (shakes head sorrowfully). Actually "power cycle" has been around for while, does anyone have an exciting new 2020's term?

        You mean a current term?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Have they tried

          Round here, no-one says "power cycle", we call them electric bikes....

          I'll get my coat....

      11. GioCiampa

        Re: Have they tried

        I call it "Solution #1"

      12. UpHill

        Re: Have they tried

        Yes, we say "bounce" the service/application/host

      13. bombastic bob Silver badge

        Re: Have they tried

        "does anyone have an exciting new 2020's term?"

        'Hit the Big Red Button' maybe? But even that has been around for a while...

        1. captain veg Silver badge

          Re: Have they tried

          BRST.

          I still use it to mean a hard re-IPL.

          Rig Red Switch Time.

          -A.

      14. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge

        Re: Have they tried

        Factory Reset?

      15. Groo The Wanderer Silver badge

        Re: Have they tried

        I remember Flipping The Big Red Switch. The power switch on IBM's original PS/2 line-up made the most satisfying "thump" when powered off.

    3. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

      Re: Have they tried

      One cannot fix a machine by power cycling it without first knowing what is wrong.

      Once they figure that out, power-cycling will work fine.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Have they tried

        That's an old AI koan ...

        A novice was trying to fix a broken Lisp machine by turning the power off and on.

        Knight, seeing what the student was doing, spoke sternly: “You cannot fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding of what is going wrong.”

        Knight turned the machine off and on.

        The machine worked.

      2. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: Have they tried

        As I see on a regular basis, when a user does it by himself, it doesn't work, because the user doesn't know what is needed.

        When they call an IT professional and the IT guy does it, it works, because the IT guy doesn't know either what is needed but he is a professional.

  3. John_Ericsson

    "Patch Tuesday" broke our outlook. Probably the same thing.

    1. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

      When Voyager 1 was launched (1977), Microsoft as an incorporated entity did not even exist (1981 - although Bill and Alan had been creating Basic under the Micro-soft name since 1975), and the UNIX kernel could run in under 56K of memory!

      It really puts it into context when you realize this.

      1. jake Silver badge

        "Bill and Alan had been creating Basic"

        They did not create BASIC, they .... uh ... err ... "borrowed" it.

        BASIC (1963) was created back when Gates (1955) and Allen (1953) were children.

        1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
          Joke

          Microsoft has "borrowed" quite a lot of things

          1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            Microsoft has "borrowed" quite a lot of things

            But sadly not the concept of morals or ethics (and no - I don't mean the county to the north-east of London)

          2. Alan Brown Silver badge

            Including the computer time used to produce their BASIC port

      2. jake Silver badge

        "and the UNIX kernel could run in under 56K of memory!"

        To be fair, it didn't have as much hardware to contend with back then, and networking was right out.

        1. YetAnotherLocksmith Silver badge

          I'd argue it's a WAN. A very, very W one!

      3. Kurgan

        It does indeed. At that time software was much better made than today. This is why it still works. Or maybe "worked until now"

  4. Dr. G. Freeman

    It's hit the side of the fish bowl, and is incoherently swearing and muttering.

  5. mevets

    V'Ger?

    Will it be repaired by a race of living machines?

  6. TheSirFin

    Petunias

    I think its trying to tell us about the bowl of Petunias its just passed to starboard but can't quite find the right words.

    #agrajag

    1. TheRealRoland
      Angel

      Re: Petunias

      One '1' for No, two '1' for Yes.

      I don't get it? They're all 'No', sir?!

    2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Alert

      Re: Petunias

      Surely, its "Kingons off the starboard bow"

      1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

        Re: Petunias

        or even Klingons!

    3. DJO Silver badge

      Re: Petunias

      Oh no, not again.

  7. that one in the corner Silver badge

    A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

    Having reached The Edge, it is trying to send back a picture of what it has found there: the Fine Structure is revealed to be almost a black and white chequerboard. Theoreticians are waiting with bated breath for the full release of the data, which will be pored over in detail, looking for the slight changes in the pattern 0,1,0,1 which will finally answer that hotly debated question:

    Is The Fabric of The Universe gingham or houndstooth?

    1. HuBo

      Re: A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

      or 42?

      1. TheRealRoland
        Coat

        Re: A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

        Shirley you mean "101010" ?

        1. The commentard formerly known as Mister_C Silver badge
          Boffin

          Re: A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

          E5 ftw

        2. bombastic bob Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

          you know it is worse when the binary response is: 00100 00100

        3. KSM-AZ

          Re: A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

          Actually it's 11001001. The Bynars needed the computer core for a bit. Hopefully they can reset and come back to life.

    2. jake Silver badge

      Re: A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

      "Is The Fabric of The Universe gingham or houndstooth?

      Gingham is a type of fabric, while houndstooth is a pattern ... so the fabric of space could be gingham with a houndstooth pattern.

      It's not, though. Clearly it must be denim.

      1. imanidiot Silver badge

        Re: A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

        While you are technically correct (The best kind of correct) nowadays gingham is nearly universally used to refer to the duotone checked cotton fabric. It's rare to find other patterns advertised as a gingham nowadays.

      2. that one in the corner Silver badge

        Re: A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

        > so the fabric of space could be gingham with a houndstooth pattern

        That happens often enough in Science: two competing hypotheses battle it out for years, then the observations reveal that Reality is a combination of both.

        1. HelpfulJohn

          Re: A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

          I have, for decades, had this uncomfortable feeling about Reality.

          That both Relativity and Quantum describe it but that they are fundamentally slightly incompatible because that is just the way the cosmos works.

          That they *can't* be unified into one Grand Unified Theory because the universe doesn't have one.

          That all the String Thheories and such are futile.

          That this is what we have and we just have to put up with it.

          It's sort of like how public transport and timetables are incompatible. Only worse. And bigger.

          As I said, uncomfortable but it would fit into my jaundiced view of the cosmos and it would explain a few things.

          1. Mooseman Silver badge

            Re: A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

            "I have, for decades, had this uncomfortable feeling about Reality."

            I seem to be having this tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle.....

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

        > Clearly it must be denim.

        Ah, so we can blame the French for the absolutely everything? Sounds good to me.

        1. captain veg Silver badge

          Re: A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

          Though strangely enough timetables are a fairly reliable guide to public transport over here.

          -A.

    3. Cynical Pie

      Re: A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

      If you squint you can just see the head of the Great A'Tuin

    4. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

      Re: A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

      If it's discovered the fine structure constant, then it's a division by 137 error.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

        Perhaps the 8-track tape has finally stretched to the point of not being worth listening to, and this is Voyager's way of complaining.

    5. An_Old_Dog Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

      You're reading too much into this. It's doing this because the Voyager's Zyxel Space Modem overheated (as they so often did). They should have got a genuine Hayes.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: A repeating pattern of ones and zeroes

        Unfortunately, Hayes launched at roughly the same time as the Voyagers ... far too late to be included in the Voyager program.

  8. Jan 0 Silver badge

    The distress signal is working!

    The Space Pirates have arrived to capture it, but they're having a battle with the Space Binmen who have already marked it as scrap. Space AA say there's a 20 hour delay and no hotel available.

  9. HuBo
    Angel

    Poem poem company

    A very wise probe indeed! It is most likely at the end of the known universe, attempting to prompt engineer the ultimate LLM into revealing the deep learning secret knowledge of its all encompassing training dataset! ( https://www.theregister.com/2023/12/01/chatgpt_poetry_ai/ )

    1. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

      Re: Poem poem company

      Then maybe it is sending the pattern of ones and zeros because it keeps bumping against the crystal sphere in which the fixed stars are embedded.

  10. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    So, Voyager 1 is reaching the end of its useful life

    Guys, it had to happen one day. Voyager 1 is one of the top achievements of scientific discovery. I would hardly be surprised if the famed NASA engineers managed to eke out some more usefullness from its tired frame, but maybe, if that doesn't happen, it would be time to let it rest.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: So, Voyager 1 is reaching the end of its useful life

      Seems to me that naysayers have been hoping for that since the end of 1980 when she passed through the Saturn system and her mission was officially mostly over in the eyes of the public.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So, Voyager 1 is reaching the end of its useful life

      Which reminded me that Amsat Oscar-7, launched in 1974, is still working on sunny days (as far as I know). Well at that age, who'd want to be doing the night shift eh?

      1. imanidiot Silver badge

        Re: So, Voyager 1 is reaching the end of its useful life

        Still operational according to Amsat reports (https://www.amsat.org/status/)

        Interestingly it stopped working due to a battery failure (internal short), then started working due to the same battery failing again as the internal short was stressed enough by the continual sunlight power from the solar panels that it went open circuit and the panels could directly power the internal systems.

    3. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: So, Voyager 1 is reaching the end of its useful life

      not quite ready to do 'The Parrot Sketch' for V'ger

  11. MachDiamond Silver badge

    Where are the Pythons?

    With all of the great Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett references, we need the remaining Pythons to get together and write a space opera to extend the reference universe we can draw from. I've got Eric's address around here somewhere, I should send a letter.

    1. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Where are the Pythons?

      Are you asking us to 'spam' Eric? (or maybe his pet fish)

      1. MachDiamond Silver badge

        Re: Where are the Pythons?

        "Are you asking us to 'spam' Eric? (or maybe his pet fish)"

        Well, yes.

        Now I'll need to see if I can add a viking helmet logo to my envelope program.

  12. MajorDoubt
    Go

    It's out in a sea of cosmic radiation

    It's lucky to have lasted as long as it has, in a sea of gamma ray radiation, the energy hitting it would kill any of us in minutes

  13. Kev99 Silver badge

    There's nothing wrong. Mictosoft just forced Voyager to install copilot.

  14. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
    Pint

    Obligatory

    https://xkcd.com/1189/

    1. KarMann Silver badge
      Angel

      Re: Obligatory

      Ah, I was wrong, I expected it would be this one.

  15. Dagg Silver badge
    Alien

    Xmas

    It has run into Santa Claus on his way to earth...

  16. Doctor Tarr

    Science History

    I wonder how long it will be before we’ve collected the Voyagers and put them in a museum?

    1. teneriffe trail

      Re: Science History

      I'm guessing about 5,000 years. But I wouldn't bet money on it.

    2. Kurgan

      Re: Science History

      This would be the coolest thing in the world. We somehow invent FTL spaceflight and in a 2 day mission we go to recover the old probes and take them home.

      1. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: Science History

        Better still, leave them flying and make them space-tourist destinations.

    3. Big_Boomer
      Alien

      Re: Science History

      Alien spaceship rocks up and announces to Planet Earth that it has been found guilty of interstellar littering and has been fined ψ3,000. This is reduced to ψ1,500 if paid within 28 standard Antarean days. Crypto-currencies are NOT accepted. They also warn us that we are in danger of a 2nd fine if Voyager 2 is allowed to proceed.

      1. Mooseman Silver badge

        Re: Science History

        "Alien spaceship rocks up and announces to Planet Earth that it has been found guilty of interstellar littering"

        What do you mean, you've never been to Alpha Centari?

        1. imanidiot Silver badge
          Alien

          Re: Science History

          Not our fault you couldn't be bother to invent faster than light space travel!

      2. jmch Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Science History

        "...fined ψ3,000"

        which due to a terrible miscalculation of scale is equivalent to 1 small copper coin

      3. Strahd Ivarius Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: Science History

        I thought Earth was to be obliterated for sending pornography to the stars?

        (and the real name of the probe is Voyeur-1, by the way)

  17. tip pc Silver badge
    Alien

    Voyager mission status page

    https://voyager.jpl.nasa.gov/mission/status/

  18. imanidiot Silver badge
    Pint

    I hope this isn't it

    but if this is it, the Voyagers have both already had one heck of a run. It's a bit of a miracle they're still functional to begin with.

  19. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    Voyager is transmitting the chorus as it was before it was written

    https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/kate-bush-song-too-big-for-her/

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7QCtPZ3pTg

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Extended warranty?

    Just a thought.

    1. MachDiamond Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Extended warranty?

      "Just a thought."

      After spamming Eric Idle, I suppose I could send a letter to JPL letting them know that the warranty on their spacecraft will expire soon and they should call to renew. (All popular gift cards accepted)

  21. Bebu Silver badge
    Windows

    "does anyone have an exciting new 2020's term?"

    On the wake/(a)woke theme.

    "The poor beastie needs a wee lie down."

    More probably "temporary remedial cancellation."

    Shocked when I realized I knew what IPL meant - not subcontinental cricket either. Seems like another world now.

    Could "gaslight it" which begs the question where did this generation of prats get this term from as even I have never seen a working gaslight. I have seen defunct fixtures and the tin pipes embedded in stucco(splaster) walls in very old terraces but that is it.

    1. HelpfulJohn

      Re: "does anyone have an exciting new 2020's term?"

      A cruel guy living with a nice girl used to vary the brightness of the lighting in their house then deny the variations were happening so he

      could drive her nuts in an effort to inherit her money.

      The lighting was made by burning gases in little thingys sticking out of the walls. "Gas-lighting".

      The term got co-opted for the technique of torture.

      It's a movie. Maybe a book and theatrical performance, too.

      Due to Hollywood overlaying its culture onto everyone else's "gas-lighting" has been used sporadically in other movies and TV serials. This keeps it

      alive in our milieux.

      Other inappropriate technological terms also survive the demise of their physical relevance: "footage" is still commonly used though actually film is not.

      Not as often as it once was. "Footage" makes very little sense in terms of electronic video files but the term survives.

      1. Mooseman Silver badge

        Re: "does anyone have an exciting new 2020's term?"

        "Other inappropriate technological terms also survive the demise of their physical relevance: "footage" is still commonly used though actually film is not."

        Spam is constantly used, yet I have never been swamped by a pile of tinned pork shoulder and ham either.

    2. The Organ Grinder's Monkey

      Re: "does anyone have an exciting new 2020's term?"

      I knew that there was one small sidestreet in London that is still gaslit, but I couldn't remember where it is. Googling suggests that there's actually quite a few with around 1500 gas lamps still in service.

      https://londonist.com/london/maps/an-interactive-map-of-london-s-gas-lamps

  22. Skwn

    Format

    Looks some bypasser tried the C:\FORMAT command. Next will be sending messages back.

  23. Wyrdness
    Joke

    Satellite repairs

    I sometimes see vans with ‘Sattelite Repairs’ written on the side. Couldn’t they just send one of those to fix it?

    1. Anonymous IV

      Re: Satellite repairs

      > I sometimes see vans with ‘Sattelite Repairs’ written on the side. Couldn’t they just send one of those to fix it?

      First they should fix their van signing...

  24. Watashi

    DLC

    Voyager 1 now requires NASA to create an account and provide a credit card number.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: DLC

      More like Congress wants Voyager to prove it's age by providing a picture ID to NASA, which offers the service for free but needs a credit card number in order to process the data.

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