back to article We challenged you to come up with tech predictions for 2024 (wrong answers only) – here are some favorites so far

The other day we challenged our fine Register readers to share their top technology predictions for 2024 – though with wrong answers only. The best suggestion will win an old ugly Microsoft-themed Christmas sweater. You can check out that contest here: it's got about a couple of hundred comments already, and we'll pick the …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I don't know about the sweater... i want some of that magnificent space Lego... Is that the Saturn V?

    1. Aladdin Sane

      Looks like, and the Discovery shuttle

    2. A. Coatsworth Silver badge
      Holmes

      During the pandemic mr Speed went a bit nuts with Legos and knock-off Legos. Those are indeed a saturn V, a Saturn 1B and the Discovery among many others.

      This is one example

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Downvoted for using 'Legos'

        1. Pixel Green

          Up voted to adjust for irrelevant pedantry.

          Regarding the made up convention on the plurality of 'lego' - which brings to mind the old debate surrounding GIF - keeping track of the general inconsistency of the English language becomes a tired charade in edge cases such as lego, although at least there is precedent for the singular matching the plural in idiosyncratic ways (moose/moose vs goose/geese).

          My opinion stands that there is not enough time in the world to care about these kinds of grammatical and phonetic exceptions. It is, after all, pronounced GIF.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Singular

            The singular will be deleted and all companies will be known by their plurality such as Legos, Microsofts and IBMs.

            Anons

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Downvoted for not capitalizing Lego.

            Seems to be a day for pedantry. :)

          3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            The "bits" in a Lego set are not legos. They are bricks, pieces or parts. Never "legos", often preceded by the term Lego is case of a need for disambiguity between the One True Lego and other cheaper plastic knock-offs :-p

        2. A. Coatsworth Silver badge
          Headmaster

          ODFO, mr. Coward. The Cambridge Dictionary uses "Legos" in one of its examples, so I'll take their word over some rando's on the Internet.

          1. Pixel Green
            Holmes

            If we were to truly go above and beyond in nit picking, the technically correct use of Lego is LEGO in all caps, or LEGO™ or LEGO®

            And is only ever an adjective, not a noun, if the company had its way.

            I'll happily take the down votes on the chin for being an ass in my first sentence. But hold my opinion that language is not a static affair and evolves over time; policing it to this extent, in my opinion, is a waste of time.

            1. zuckzuckgo

              Agree. It is time to just lego.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Optional

    A few years ago, when people were banging on about Web 2.0 - everyone can create content (write), I predicted that Web 3.0 would be when everyone writes and nobody reads. This seems unsettlingly close to what has happened.

    1. Anonymous IV

      Re: Optional

      > I predicted that Web 3.0 would be when everyone writes and nobody reads

      You are probably thinking of Write-only-Memory - WoM...

      1. Mast1

        Re: Optional

        I used to call it WORN memory.

        Write Once, Read Never.

        1. Montreal Sean

          Re: Optional

          I use WORN as well.

          Write once, remember never.

      2. Herring` Silver badge

        Re: Optional

        We have write-only systems. Sharepoint for one

    2. Vincent Ballard
      Terminator

      Re: Optional

      Isn't it "Everyone asks ChatGPT to write and nobody reads"?

      1. GoneFission
        Devil

        Re: Optional

        I'm sure they'll cash-flow-optimize a way to make it much more terrible than that. Everyone will be required to have a subscription-only barely working personal AI assistant that talks to other people's barely working AI assistants. All the "consumer" solutions will feature built-in advertising and absolute minimum viable product levels of reliability, or you can fork over several grand a month for the "enterprise" version to avoid the ads and feverish microsecond interaction tracking.

        Of course they're all proprietary. Got GoogleAI? Sorry, it can't "effectively" talk to AppleAI or AmazonAI. We can however sell you enterprise middle-ware negotiator AI that claims to render them compatible at least 10% of the time. Getting a job anywhere will require you to sign up for a subscription to whatever branded AI model they managed to get themselves sold on because everyone is now sending 5000 pointless AI-optimized emails and holding 50 AI-summarized meetings per hour, and you don't want to be the "underperforming" Luddite in the corner having to review all those manually.

        Yay future!

      2. 43300 Silver badge

        Re: Optional

        That's Web 4.0

        5.0 will be where AI 'assistants' have endless conversations with each other, achieving absolutely nothing in the process...

  3. Jamesit

    "What, me worry?" is a Mad magazine reference to Alfred E. Neuman.

    1. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

      Simpsons v Mad magazine

      Ah yup, you're probably right - slip of the tongue. I had Ralph Wiggum in my mind saying it.

      C.

  4. RedGreen925 Bronze badge

    X will still be alive and thriving in 2024 and of course the perennial, 2024 will be the year of Linux on the desktop. Just a couple of predictions pulled directly from my nether region.

  5. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

    - There will be no actual material progress for any Hyperloop.

    - Cybertruck will not be available except in maybe insigifniciant qties.

    - Commuting will continue and nothing will change.

    1. katrinab Silver badge
      Alert

      We are looking for wrong opinions so those don’t qualify.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Final version of Windows

    Windows 13

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Year of Linux

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    CRQCs for the win

    Cryptographically relevant quantum computers will be built in 2024!

  9. A____B

    This definitely will happen [not]

    A completely bug free, secure, spyware free version of Microsoft software will be developed using AI and available as an NFT using a n environmentally sustainable blockchain. There'll be no comment from Elon Musk as he will have taken a vow of silence, or from Google as they'll be devoting energies into long term support of products 'resting' in the google graveyard.

    On a non technical front: the UK government will actually work to learn and understand about technologies before making sweeping pronouncements. Or, if you want something more likely, peace in the Middle East / Climate Change solved / Cure for cancer.

  10. uncredited

    Still not here but...

    I bet we'll have flying cars by then!

  11. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Angel

    Boris Johnson will tell the truth

    So will Donald Trump

    P.S.

    Vlad Putin will apologise.

  12. Stringer
    Alien

    After 25 years of trying, Aliens will make contact.

    Their first request will be how to pay the WinRar licence fee without an Earth-based credit card.

  13. Uplink

    Some coding AI will be asked to write code that deletes the AI platform itself (exploiting a bug only the AI knows about), it does so, and it actually works.

  14. Homeworkjunkie

    iPhone Hand

    Apple release their latest mobile device called the iPhone Hand. Early adopters pleased with new device, and happy with loss of one hand due to phone connecting directly to the wrist.

    1. Montreal Sean

      Re: iPhone Hand

      That could lead to some awkward accidental calls...

      Or awkward Siri moments...

      Siri: "I see you are looking at porn, would you like me to turn on haptic feedback?"

  15. JLV
    Megaphone

    stale coffee

    Java will take over the world!

  16. Spanners
    Alert

    Passwords

    People will finally pay attention to the "experts" who advise them to use their product instead of an ever longer passphrase and 2fa.

  17. xyz123 Silver badge

    Everyone will decide GIF is actualy pronounced Geef. JPG is pronounced GeePug, and DOCX will be pronounced as sh-t. (so no change there)

  18. xyz123 Silver badge

    Facebook will be replaced by comments under Pornhub videos. This goes on for 2 years as facebook etc all go bankrupt. But then teenagers abandon pornhub when their parents start to post stuff like "if you keep watching this hot threeway girl on girl action, I'll NEVER be a grandmother!"

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