back to article Vote now on who should take the lead in Musk: The Movie

A biopic of Elon Musk is in the works, with Walter Isaacson's authorized biography of the controversial figure serving as the source. But who should step into Musk's shoes? Only The Register readership can advise. We had to check the date on the Variety article a few times to make sure that the announcement of a Musk biopic at …

  1. DJV Silver badge

    Donald Trump!

    Just look at the similarities:

    Has the right physique for cage fights (well, I expect he probably thinks so).

    Had a similar privileged upbringing.

    Frittered most of his money away on bad business ideas (but claims they were all successes).

    Enjoys being sued by lots of people.

    And is also a great actor (what do you mean, he's not acting?)

  2. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    You missed one...

    Danny De Vito in his 'Taxi' days...

    1. Sudosu Bronze badge

      Re: You missed one...

      I was thinking Charlie Sheen.

    2. Denny.Colt

      Re: You missed one...

      I was thinking Nicholas Cage

  3. b0llchit Silver badge

    Himself as Himself

    There is only one Ego big enough to fit his Ego. Therefore, His Muskness will be played by His Muskness himself. The film will be featured containing all footage not part of the film script, filling ten hours of rants, insults and falsehoods depicting His Muskness in the Light of His Muskness Himself in all True Colours.

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: Himself as Himself

      And shades of Austin Powers in Goldmember!

      I'd love to see Musk trying to act, even himself. Probably the closest thing to Tommy Wiseau from The Room if he isn't available to do it!

      1. Jedit Silver badge

        "I'd love to see Musk trying to act, even himself"

        Go watch Iron Man 2 then - Musk cameos as himself.

        For myself, I'm making a write-in nomination for Ezra Miller.

        1. HeIsNoOne

          Re: "I'd love to see Musk trying to act, even himself"

          Also has a cameo as himself in an episode of The Big Bang Theory

        2. heyrick Silver badge

          Re: "I'd love to see Musk trying to act, even himself"

          "Musk cameos as himself."

          He does? Whoa, it must have been severely underwhelming as I have no recollection of him.

          1. Jedit Silver badge

            Re: "I'd love to see Musk trying to act, even himself"

            He's the guy slobbering on Tony Stark's knob in the restaurant. Of course that was 14 years, at least one divorce and lots of fascist ego-tripping ago, so he looked like a vaguely normal human being instead of a half-melted waxwork.

      2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Himself as Himself

        Actually Mike Myers isn't the worst choice ...

  4. Andy Non Silver badge

    El Reg's suggestion

    of Donald Duck seems fitting. I can just imagine his squawking tantrum rages.

    1. Lurko

      Re: El Reg's suggestion

      You're entirely right, and dammit, I frittered my vote on Mike Myers.

      Please, please Regmeisters, can I change my vote?

      1. heyrick Silver badge

        Re: El Reg's suggestion

        I went for Nic Cage because nobody does batshit crazy freak outs quite like Cage.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: El Reg's suggestion

          I dunno, does Musky suffer permanently from piles, and use chili infused Preparation H to treat them? That's the only explanation for Nic's eternal look of pained discomfort.

  5. Nick Ryan Silver badge

    Donald Duck? How about Scrooge McDuck?

    Although Donald Duck's habit of going incandescent with rage, spitting and frothing at the bill are pretty apt.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Scrooge McDuck????

      Wouldn't Glumgold be more appropriate? Scrooge McDuck (at least the Tennent version) is quite a likable and capable character...

    2. aerogems Silver badge

      Scroogle is more miserly than curmudgeonly. He's not a bad person, he's just cheap.

    3. Elongated Muskrat Silver badge

      I'd go with Cyril Sneer, for those of a certain age.

      1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

        Good call - that would definitely work.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Joaquin Phoenix

    Joacquin Phoenix, with his experience of playing mentally unhinged clowns ("The Joker") and monumentally egotistical rulers of the world ("Napoleon") should have the chops to try take on Musk.

    1. RockBurner

      Re: Joaquin Phoenix

      Seconded, first actor I thought of when reading the article.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Joaquin Phoenix

      And JP has got that sinister, complex bad guy vibe down to a tee (Commodus in Gladiator as well as Joker and Napoleon).

    3. Steve Button Silver badge

      Re: Joaquin Phoenix

      Don't forget "Commodus" in Gladiator. Also a mentally unhinged egotistical ruler of the world.

    4. A. Coatsworth Silver badge

      Re: Joaquin Phoenix

      Nah, way too dignified. It would be giving too much credit to the source material, to use such a good actor. Same goes for Christoph Waltz.

      Rob Schneider would be closer to the cringe-worthiness mark needed.

      1. Ace2 Silver badge

        Re: Joaquin Phoenix

        Ooh, I was all-in on Nic Cage but Rob Schneider is perhaps the perfect choice…

  7. Fr. Ted Crilly Silver badge

    May I humbly offer up...

    Ben Stiller, he's irritating enough straight off the bat....

  8. Khaptain Silver badge

    Whoever wrote this article

    It would be much funnier if the El Reg author of the article played the role.. Since we all know how much the San Francisco staff absolutely loves E. Musk.

    1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

      Re: Whoever wrote this article

      Hmm, they must have their heads screwed on the right way around in that part of SF

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Whoever wrote this article

      I'm pretty sure a British reporter wrote this one

      1. Khaptain Silver badge

        Re: Whoever wrote this article

        "I'm pretty sure a British reporter wrote this one"

        Surprising as the rhetoric has much the same bias as is typical of the SF office..

  9. doublerot13

    The whale

    What about that fat bloke in The Whale?

    1. My-Handle

      Re: The whale

      Why would you inflict that on Brendan Frasier?

      1. doublerot13

        Re: The whale

        > Why would you inflict that on Brendan Frasier?

        You're right. Sorry.

    IT Angle

    Ugly bags of water

    AI generated CGI

    1. Benegesserict Cumbersomberbatch Silver badge

      Re: Ugly bags of water

      AI generated CGI of the poo emoji.

  11. Rikki Tikki

    My first thought was the late, great, Benny Hill. Would have to be AI generated, of course.

    Just imagining the closing credits to "Yackety Sax".

    1. Howard Sway Silver badge

      The whole AI resurrected Carry On team would be even better. Carry On Don't Lose Your Investment, starring Sid James as Elon Musk, Barbara Windsor as Grimes, Kenneth Williams as Jack Dorsey and Charles Hawtrey as Mark Zuckerberg in the cage match scene.

      1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge

        Isnt That A Better Cast & Title

        For SBF?

        Icon - "Cor blimey, wheres me bit tokens gorn" /Sid James

  12. gv

    London's finest thespian

    There's only one man for the job: Steven Toast, last seen in Tinseltown.

  13. Locky

    Donald Duck?

    Shirley his uncle Scrooge would be more fitting, he already has the swimming pool full of cash

  14. Jellied Eel Silver badge

    I don't get it

    Surely it should be Brie Larson? Smash the patriachy, bring the cheese! Female tech billionaires are grossly under represented since Elizabeth Holmes, so it only seems right and fair.

  15. lglethal Silver badge

    Nic Cage for the win...

    I had to go with Nic Cage. When it comes to doing batshit crazy, is there anyone better in the industry?

    (But this was a seriously hard choice, there are so many good options!)

  16. MisterHappy

    Kevin Durand

    The Paul Bettany movie "Legion" was on Film 4 last night & when Gabriel kicked open the door to the diner I thought "Oh crap, it's Elon Musk!"

  17. trevorde Silver badge

    Only one choice, really

    Steven Seagal - so that he kicks Zuck's @55 in the cage fight

    1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

      Re: Only one choice, really

      I don't know about that... Steve's in his 70s and unlike Space Karen, Zuck has actually been training.

    2. aerogems Silver badge

      Re: Only one choice, really

      I think he's too busy using his tongue to check Putin for rectal polyps these days.

      Why not go with Van Damme? Sure his accent is French, but like the average American movie-goer is going to know the difference between that and a South African accent.

      1. heyrick Silver badge

        Re: Only one choice, really

        "Sure his accent is French, but like the average American movie-goer is going to know the difference between that and a South African accent."

        You owe me a new keyboard. And monitor. And wall paint. And mug.

        This is surely my favourite comment of the year.

  18. Doug 3

    a vote for Lewis Black

    I was thinking Lewis Black would make a quite amusing Elon.

  19. JoeCool Silver badge

    Kevin Spacey

    A reprise of his character from "Swimming with Sharks".

  20. Tubz Silver badge

    I voted for Nick, only because Gary Busey was not listed, this is not acceptable !!

  21. aerogems Silver badge

    Mr. Bean

    What about the guy who played Mr. Bean? Especially if he's largely mute like Mr. Bean. The guy who played Pee-Wee Herman is dead, otherwise that'd be another good choice.

    1. Elongated Muskrat Silver badge

      Re: Mr. Bean

      I think Rowan Atkinson would rise above this one, don't you, Baldrick?

  22. b1k3rdude

    No one, because WTF needs to watch a movie about this f**king imbecile!

    1. aerogems Silver badge

      This, of course, is the correct answer, but it seems the movie is going to be made regardless.

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Philosophically, if a movie is made but nobody watches it ....

        1. aerogems Silver badge
          IT Angle

          A bear shits in the woods?

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. jake Silver badge

        I have horses. I have absolutely zero interest in seeing a movie about the narcissistic twat.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          I agree because I have a cat![*] :-)

          * No, not a white fluffy one.

  23. Vincent van Gopher

    AI Musk

    AI Musk 'deepfake' ready to go courtesy of ScaredKetchup. Perfect and brilliant!

  24. aerogems Silver badge

    Mel Gibson

    Another thought: Mel Gibson. He's a racist and antisemitic asshole just like Twitler.

    1. Vincent van Gopher

      Re: Mel Gibson

      I see the phantom Musk lover has been along again and downvoted a lot (every?) comment that isn't kind to Musky - there're some strange people in this world that can't see through other's (Musk's, Trump's, etc.) bullshit. Sad.

      1. aerogems Silver badge

        Re: Mel Gibson

        It's an honest day's work. Maybe Twitler's budget has shrunk so they don't get paid enough to actually post a bunch of the bullshit they used to.

  25. Dr. G. Freeman

    I remember a couple of months back a poster promoting this, it had Terrence Howard as Musk.

    Think that was a good choice.

  26. Mike 137 Silver badge


    If myopic means short sighted, does biopic mean seeing double?

  27. DJO Silver badge

    Why live action?

    Hand the whole thing to the Spitting Image production team, they already have at least one Musk puppet and they have the most suitable theme tune imaginable with "I never met a nice South African".

  28. cookieMonster Silver badge

    Boris, yer only man

    Seriously, Boris would be brilliant in this

    1. Toni the terrible Bronze badge

      Re: Boris, yer only man

      Boris is not so competant that he could play him self, let alone Musk

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Tedious snark ..

    They would need to portray deep themes such as absence of humanity.

    Xitter under Musk is the last truly free speech zone, not under the control of the state security apparatus.

    1. Elongated Muskrat Silver badge

      Re: Tedious snark ..


      Not sure if serious or sarcastic here...

      1. JoeCool Silver badge

        Re: Tedious snark ..

        On the one hand he uses Xitter.

        On the other there's the subject.

        I went with downvote.

      2. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

        Re: Tedious snark ..

        Poe's Law is strong with this one.

    2. Vincent van Gopher

      Re: Tedious snark ..

      "free speech zone" - of course it is, unless you're criticizing Musk, Trump or any other narcissistic, dangerous loonies.

    3. JoeCool Silver badge

      Re: Tedious snark ..

      Well it's close race between xitter and truthsocial I guess

    4. Robert D Bank

      Re: Tedious snark ..

      The last free speech zone is whatever Israel decides

  30. Surreal Estate

    Some great options, but I'd suggest Rainn Wilson. Maniacal absurdity assured.

  31. Elongated Muskrat Silver badge

    Suella Braverman's looking for a job

    Why not be an equal opportunities employer? Arseholes come in all genders and skin colours, after all.

  32. Ball boy Silver badge

    I see your Mike Myers...

    ...and raise you Peter Sellers.

    Who could forget his socially inept Clouseau or - even better - the very unhinged Dr. Strangelove.

    1. Elongated Muskrat Silver badge

      Re: I see your Mike Myers...

      The only problem there, of course, is that he's much more dead than the person he would be playing. On the outside at any rate.

  33. Matthew "The Worst Writer on the Internet" Saroff

    Laverne Cox

    Having Elon Musk played by a trans black actress will make him lose his mind.

    It triggers two of his most prominent bigotries.

    1. aerogems Silver badge

      Re: Laverne Cox

      They happen to be Jewish as well, for the Twitler bigotry hat trick?

      But honestly, we could probably just get a bunch of home videos of babies crying and stitch those together for an hour and a half to get the basic idea of Twitler's life.

      1. Matthew "The Worst Writer on the Internet" Saroff

        Re: Laverne Cox

        Not a Jew, she just dates Jewish boys. Says that, "I’d like to think of myself as the nation’s premiere black transgender shiksa."

    2. But seriously

      Re: Laverne Cox

      And your intelligent point is ...?

  34. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

    How about

    Christopher Walken.

    The right amount of smarts, evilness and stupidity for the role.

  35. PJ Von Pootmachen

    Musk: The Pedo, er...Motion Picture

    An elderly, bitter and very, VERY poor Elon (as portrayed by the illustrious William Shatner) looks back on his life with regret. Younger Musk to be entirely portrayed by AI - A Dickensian tale on a life well wasted (Because....BLUNTS!!!!) aka "A Sale of Two Titties". G-d f*** us all, everyone!!!

  36. Old-dog

    Matt Damon

  37. jake Silver badge

    Terry Kiser

    Who else could drag a dead joke of a one-trick pony around for the length of a movie?

    Might even get a sequel out of him.

    In other news, who really cares? Nobody with a brain will be interested in watching it ...

  38. DS999 Silver badge

    ChatGPT should play him

    Because it sounds stoned or brain damaged half the time also.

  39. samsepiol

    Neil Breen

    Call 911. How could you have done this? I cannot believe you've not suggested Neil Breen.

    I can't help you out of this one.

    1. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

      Re: Neil Breen

      First rule of Neil Breen club is, don't talk about Neil Breen.


    2. jake Silver badge

      Re: Neil Breen


    3. Elongated Muskrat Silver badge

      Re: Neil Breen

      or Wallace Breen (with the only "problem" that he's fictional)

  40. But seriously


    Good to see that the West Coast of America continues to carry the torch for enlightened, intelligent conversation.

    Envy is not an attractive trait, even in hipster non-intelligentsia morons, who think they are brighter or better than the (arguably) wealthiest man in the world, who also happens to be well read.

    Keep it up - I am sure you are making some people laugh.

    (And before you write/say that it's all in good humour, it would not be if you were on the receiving end).

    1. Toni the terrible Bronze badge

      Re: Envious?

      Who is envious of Musk, his money perhaps but not him. And as for the post script I gather Mr Musk has long forgotten that himself.

    2. Anomalous Custard

      Re: Envious?

      Being wealthy does not make you bright or better than anyone else

      Being well read does not make you intelligent

  41. YakkingUdon

    Jack Gleeson AKA Joffrey Baratheon

    Unforgettable and unforgiven

  42. Stjohn Roe

    Andy Serkis in full golem cgi.

  43. Mr Army

    If anybody wants a serious answer rather than the suggestions offered by this piss take Kevin Durand would fit the role perfectly.

  44. hoverboy

    Adam Sandler.

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