Zoom pushed the irony level to 11
Wipro: Get back to the office for three days a week or else
Indian outsourcing titan Wipro is mandating a return to the office for three days a week and there will be repercussions for staff that fail to comply. The Bengaluru-based biz indicated in a leaked email that around 55 percent of its staff worked in-person on site for the requisite three days a week since May. The IT giant …
COMMENTS
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Wednesday 8th November 2023 10:10 GMT elsergiovolador
Letter
Dear Team,
In an exuberant celebration of corporate visibility, we are excited to announce a return to the golden age of managerial oversight. Recognizing the immense benefits of in-person collaboration and innovation, we are now taking the next step in our workplace policy evolution and requiring all employees to work from the office three days a week, effective November 15, 2023.
It's not that we don't trust you, but there's something ineffably reassuring about seeing your diligent faces, tirelessly working away in the natural habitat of your designated desks. How else could we possibly ensure it's you delivering those impressive productivity metrics and not your tech-savvy nana?
We strongly believe that in-person interactions are critical to the professional development of our talent as well as to our success in driving ongoing innovation for clients. Plus, let's face it, our managerial staff has been feeling a tad uneasy with all this "remote trust" business. They miss the comforting certainty that only comes from peering over your shoulders to witness creativity bloom in real-time (and ensuring no one has replaced you with a cardboard cutout).
We look forward to welcoming all our employees back to the office. After all, there's nothing quite like the collective sound of typing and mouse-clicking to set a manager's heart at ease.
Warmest Regards,
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Wednesday 8th November 2023 10:14 GMT Michael Hoffmann
Re: Letter
Sorry, but this was written way too positively. This would have been much more honest:
"We need to control you, or people will find out that most, especially middle, managers are utterly useless. And we have the power to save our own jobs, trumping your life and happiness. Also, we're stuck with these insanely long office leases"
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Wednesday 8th November 2023 14:51 GMT CrazyOldCatMan
Re: Letter
most, especially middle, managers are utterly useless
Oi! As a low-level middle manager I resemble that remark! I mean, restfull that remark! Restrict that remark! Reshambles that remark!
Oi - you - yes you - finish this post for me or the lashes will continue!
[screams off camera]
"As a low level middle manager I resent that remark"
Very good. Now hold still while I put your leg-chain back on.
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Wednesday 8th November 2023 11:53 GMT Anonymous Coward
It's the boardroom community working together
All of us on boards and in executive positions have substantial investments in commercial property portfolios. Covid and the trend for WFH have decimated these investments but if we work together we can bring this back from the brink and save our dividends. So lets all force our staff back to the office together, we can all agree some corporate claptrap about positives from group working but really we just need those property values to stay up. Those little workers are fine; don't worry about their screams about the cost of living crisis, fuel costs, parking limits and a near absence of effective public transport. They'll make noise but you know we can gaslight them (thanks Daily Mail) into taking below inflation pay rises for another 25yr until we get them working for food stamps and paying with savings for the privilege of staying in a warm cubicle for their 20hr shift.
So my fellow execs lets work together, lets get those minions back in the office and lets get our dividends back.
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Wednesday 8th November 2023 12:42 GMT Anonymous Coward
Getting into my 50s everything aches, I make odd noises when I get out of bed at 4am for my second pee of the night and my damn kids don't call me enough, but after 35+ years of working life so far and I know I've only got around 10 years left to go dealing with this moronic corporate bullshit!
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Wednesday 8th November 2023 15:00 GMT CrazyOldCatMan
Getting into my 50s everything aches
I wish I'd got that far before they started. Turns out that developing psoriatic arthritis in my late 20's wasn't optimal. Who knew?
9 years left for me until state/work pension time. My wife can already take her work pension but, the longer she leaves it, the higher value it has when she does take it (it's a final salary pension).
People tell me that I'll be bored once I retire. I very highly doubt it.
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Wednesday 8th November 2023 14:08 GMT Tron
Office work may become a necessity for security.
Governments (China, UK, EU) are implementing laws that tap online activity. The only way to avoid being monitored by the state may be to work in an office on an intranet. Any data that touches the public internet may be decrypted and tapped by governments. If you have staff abroad, you may not want their government to monitor your industrial secrets and IP.
This is more important now that governments are treating the business community as a threat to their power and a free revenue stream to patch over their economic failings.
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Wednesday 8th November 2023 15:23 GMT unbender
WFH is good for the bottom line and reduces staff churn
DXC seem very happy that virtually everyone is working from home, the other advantage is that the days of people working on client sites have all but gone. Getting kit for home office is devolved to line manager and the budget is surprisingly generous.
That said they don't have so many offices as they had pre-covid and middle managers have experienced a bit of a housekeeping.
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Wednesday 8th November 2023 16:21 GMT The Oncoming Scorn
Re: WFH is good for the bottom line and reduces staff churn
I'm all but gone (Required to be on-site for mine, fortunately not a long commute) thanks to a client changing MSP's, I've seen a manager switfly "deep sixed", his replacement has only emailed two words to me since August.
Nobody knows what the heck is happening in this transition period.
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