back to article Clippy-like AI at forefront of Windows update previews

Microsoft has rolled out updates for Windows 10 and 11 in the form of KB5031445 and KB5031455, respectively, which fix bugs in both and turn on new features in the latter. The update previews include several bug fixes, including memory leaks in ctfmon.exe and TextInputHost.exe, and represent a preview of the non-security …

  1. Natalie Gritpants Jr

    Wish they'd unfuck the taskbar. I don't have admin on this work laptop and the lack of toolbars and only having grouped window icons is driving me nuts.

    1. elsergiovolador Silver badge

      and the search that can't find most apps you have installed...

      or that you can't change the order of windows within a group...

    2. aerogems Silver badge
      Boffin

      Someone hasn't checked the taskbar settings lately.

    3. Lurko

      "Wish they'd unfuck the taskbar. "

      That's what Open Shell is for. Straight back to 2001, and logical menus just like they should be,

    4. phuzz Silver badge

      IIRC the fix to the taskbar was released last month. I know that because it was the main problem that was putting me off upgrading, all the other little 'foibles' aren't big enough to stump me.

  2. b0llchit Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Or, as a cynic might put it, an attempt to ram AI down the throats of Windows users.

    I'm not sure you need to be a cynic to classify the tactics as "ramming AI down your throat".

    Maybe they should add a pop-up window on every mouse click with the question: "You are trying to select something. Please consider Copilot to click for you and improve your productivity. Would you like to continue >>[yes]<< / [no] and install Copilot?"

  3. KarMann Silver badge
    Alert

    Dammit

    Just yesterday, I was mentioning to my wife about Word's 40th birthday, and she asked if Clippy was there. I confidently answered in the negative, but it seems I may have been mistaken. Or if not Clippy proper, at least his ghost, back to haunt us.

    1. aerogems Silver badge

      Re: Dammit

      I hated it back in the day too, but now that even low end computers tend to have at least 4-cores, something like Clippy could actually be somewhat useful. Tone it down a little and make it easy to dismiss if you don't want it there. It could be kind of handy for helping find functions in Office apps that you use maybe once every few years, so you don't remember where it is. Could be handy. Sort of like the floating dynamic toolbar Microsoft had on the Mac versions of Office v.X and 2004.

  4. mobailey

    Wait... autosaving NotePad?

    re: "yet more tweaks to the veteran Notepad applications in terms of autosaving."

    That sounds like a nightmare. I'll be switching off that option.

    Imagine using Notepad to type a new line into a website's Web.Config file. You're halfway through typing it, and NotePad thinks "this is a good time to save the changes so far"....

    1. Filippo Silver badge

      Re: Wait... autosaving NotePad?

      Yeah. Well, it's not a nightmare, but autosave on a plain text editor is the kind of feature that you either specifically want, or you specifically do not want, depending on the use case. Given that the main use case of Notepad is editing configuration files, I'd classify it as "nice as an option, but it should be disabled by default". I've fairly often relied on Notepad not autosaving.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @Filippo - Re: Wait... autosaving NotePad?

        Wait! You're telling us you are editing directly on the production version of the configuration file instead using a copy ? Man, you really like to live dangerously!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @Filippo - Wait... autosaving NotePad?

          "Wait! You're telling us you are editing directly on the production version of the configuration file instead using a copy ? Man, you really like to live dangerously!"

          It is only dangerous if you save ..... hence autosave is *Dangerous* and stupid. !!!

          :)

          Process to follow .... when working on Production system(s):

          1. Copy config file to [Original]<config-filename> .

          2. Copy [Original]<config-filename> to [WIP]<config-filename> .

          3. Edit [WIP]<config-filename> .

          4. Check you have permission to change production version of <config-filename> ..... again.

          5. Check you have permission from step 4. in writing ..... again :)

          5a. Check you have up to date C.V.

          5b Ensure output from steps 5 & 5a are now off-site.

          6. Copy [WIP]<config-filename> to <config-filename> .

          7. Wait 60 seconds and listen for screaming !!!

          8. If screaming .... copy [Original]<config-filename> to <config-filename> and be happy you followed step 5b

          9. If no screaming ..... Job Done !!!

          :)

        2. Filippo Silver badge

          Re: @Filippo - Wait... autosaving NotePad?

          No, why would you think that? Ending up with an unexpectedly half-edited file is annoying in development too, not just in production, you know?

        3. Blade9983

          Re: @Filippo - Wait... autosaving NotePad?

          Who's using notepad in this day and age?

          Notepad++ was released 2003/11/24

      2. Wade Burchette

        Re: Wait... autosaving NotePad?

        This is the new Microsoft. Everything that should be disabled by default is enabled, and to disable it you must navigate through a confusing menu or hack the registry.

  5. martinusher Silver badge

    Stick to the basics, Microsoft

    Just yesterday there was a discussion about how a recent Windows 11 update had stopped an application working by screwing up the audio drivers.

    This is becoming routine. I don't care about auto-this and bells-and-whistles-that, I just want whatever was working last week to continue working this week. Unfortunately the developers of this particular application are wedded -- aggressively, defensively, pointlessly -- to Windows, they will not support anything else (and judging by its appearance its build with MFC so they're not exactly with the state of the art) so users are stuck with trying to run it on a buggy, unstable, platform. I can't be bothered......

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Stick to the basics, Microsoft

      Did the update break the audio drivers? Or were the audio drivers so badly written that an update to an unrelated component (that they shouldn't have been using) broke them?

      Sometimes it seems like some drivers are written by people who would have been rejected even by Microsoft. "Programming guidelines? API documentation? I don't need any of this!"

  6. Matthew "The Worst Writer on the Internet" Saroff
    Mushroom

    Death to Clippy

    That is all

  7. Lurko

    Laughable

    If Copilot is the best offer from the world's second highest valued company, then I think we can reasonably conclude that AI/LLM is a complete waste of time that will never deliver anything other than impressing the VERY easily pleased.

    I tried asking Copilot "how can Microsoft justify paying it's CEO $48m a year?", and what i got back was:

    According to The Register, Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella's compensation is performance-based, with more than 95 percent of his annual target compensation goal being performance-based and 70 percent of the annual cash incentive being related to meeting pre-established financial metrics . Nadella's compensation is determined by the board of directors and is based on a variety of factors, including his performance as CEO, the company's financial performance, and market trends . It is important to note that executive compensation is a complex issue with many factors at play. Companies often use compensation packages to attract and retain top talent, and executive pay is often tied to company performance . In the case of Microsoft, Nadella has been credited with leading the company's transformation into a cloud computing giant, which has resulted in significant growth and increased shareholder value . The company's revenue grew by 11 percent to $211.9 billion in fiscal year 2023, while operating income increased to $88.5 billion from $83.38 billion .

    I hope this helps answer your question!

    Hopefully the Reg is getting their cut from being part of this bilge-engine?

    1. NeilPost Silver badge

      Re: Laughable

      That little short of a search and summary of results.

      No real insight. No intelligence - artificial or otherwise.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A speculative conversation with Clippy-AI :o

    Me: I want to die Clippy-AI.

    Clippy-AI: Assuming your insurance covers it, I'll put you through to MAID (Medical Assistance in Dying).

  9. JWLong

    Rectify11 and OOSU10 (works on 11 too)

    Rectify11 will smooth out your WinWhore visual issues, issues like improper scaling or using dark/black theme mode and not being able to set a lock screen image (plus other issues). Seems Micros~1 can't hire anyone to deal with issues such as these.

    OOSU10 will lock down system settings using a lot of GP.

    I just did the today update and haven't seen any of the new "Want to be Clippy of Today" shit.

    Fine with me, If it wasn't for security updates I would have updates locked down and blocked forever.

    1. Diogenes

      Re: Rectify11 and OOSU10 (works on 11 too)

      I just did the today update and haven't seen any of the new "Want to be Clippy of Today" shit.

      At least the windows version seems to stay dead after updates. The Edge version - I have to kill it and that dopey right hand side taskbar after every single update. -

      Work computer , no admin rights Chrome/Firefox/Opera etc etc not allowed.

  10. Tron Silver badge

    Another advert for W10.

    And any version that MS no longer make worse. Designers and [virtual/near] monopolies really don't mix. It's like having a twisted, malevolent deity ruin your life on a whim every now and again.

  11. mcswell

    Clippy says...

    It looks like you're making paperclips, can I help?

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