Tesla goons will buy anything – including these $150 beers When you have buggy, unstable alpha males hanging on Elon Musk's every word, it's only natural to want to sell them two beers for $150. Elon Musk Musky scent? Billionaire launches fragrance: Burnt Hair READ MORE Which is exactly what Tesla has done with the latest addition to its "lifestyle" store, where the aspirational can …
《I think we can be pretty accurate in guessing what Eric Arthur Blair would have thought about his Muskiness and I can assure you it would not be complimentary, not even a little bit.》
I would like to think he might pluck an Aspidistra from the air and implant it in a suitable part of Musk's anatomy.
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And that's after all the plastic surgery he's had done over the years.
Here's a fairly recent photo
https://cdn.wccftech.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/elon-musk.jpeg
And here's one from back when he was at PayPal
https://i1.wp.com/nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2018/07/180724-paypal-mafia-elon-musk-01.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&ssl=1
I mean, there's the ugly duckling story, and then there's this. ^
I thought you were joking, until I had a look at the Cyber-tat store. I suppose at $70 it's good value considering that a cheap furry blanket is $140, and the toy cars are $175.
As for the branding iron, I presume it's for Tesla owners to apply in the bedroom a la 50 shades of Musk. Ladies: Don't go out with Tesla drivers unless this really is your thing.
As for the branding iron, I presume it's for Tesla owners to apply in the bedroom a la 50 shades of Musk. Ladies: Don't go out with Tesla drivers unless this really is your thing.
Now you've put that image in my head I can't escape the thought that with the possibility of infinite realities/universes/the multiverse someone somewhere is actually doing that.
the branding iron, I presume it's for Tesla owners to apply in the bedroom
"Now you've put that image in my head I can't escape the thought that with the possibility of infinite realities/universes/the multiverse someone somewhere is actually doing that."
I wouldn't need too long odds to wager some party or other in this universe is already engaged or soon to engage in these erotic shenanigans without needing the luxury of multiverses or an Everettian Multiworld.
Fortunately I guess the majority of putative Tesla branding iron owners are very unlikely to be accompanied on this perverse escapade or any other.
I have an image of some Aeon Flux* lookalike repeatedly applying the Tesla brand (circle tin tack) to the bare buttocks of an on all fours, naked Musk.
*Thinking of the MTV animated series character.
Looking at the actual iron I suspect it wouldn't be much use for practical branding on a ranch.
> As for the branding iron, I presume it's for Tesla owners to apply in the bedroom a la 50 shades of Musk. Ladies: Don't go out with Tesla drivers unless this really is your thing.
It's customary to brand your "cattle" on your "ranch".
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/elon-musk-texas-town-b2298276.html
...especially when put alongside the LTT backpack. On top of their regular backpack for $249.99 - https://www.lttstore.com/products/backpack - they now have a luxury backpack for $599.99 - https://www.lttstore.com/products/luxe-backpack
I'll admit to springing for the regular backpack (whish I hadn't) but the Luxe version is too bonkers even for me - "All Luxe Backpacks are built to order. Estimated ship date is 6 months after your order (~April 2024). Your card will be charged in full when you place your order." - I think not.
And... get this... "All items will ship together, so any other items in your cart will be held until your Luxe Backpack is produced & ready to ship."
I wondered when I would first see it in the wild - late last week a Guardian columnists referred to someone "posting on X", without immediately following it with the words "formerly known as Twitter". I figured that wouldn't happen until, at the very least, links to X didn't get you to Twitter.com (they still do here in mid-October 2023).
My immediate thought when I saw the bottles was "Shades of Fallout '76..." - Then I saw the bit about the backpacks!
Is young Musk taking a leaf or two out of Todd Howard's book?
Let's watch the delivery stats for confirmation... Musk's record on delivery of promises is surely as good as Todds...
But I can't just go down to the local liquor store, buy half their inventory, and then sell it out of my own home. Even if the spirits were made by a fully licensed operator, and the liquor store I purchased it from was fully in compliance with the law, I can't just turn around and resell it.
No, but you could probably arrange to run a store where you collect payment for their inventory and transmit the orders for them to fulfill. As long as they're distributing it, rather than you acquiring it from them and then distributing it yourself, you may be able to use their licensing. This requires that you negotiate with them to help you do it, but for a cut of ridiculous prices, they can probably help you make it happen.
Belgian beer indeed does go down very well. I remember an enjoyable evening in Brussells sampling the local monk-produced beer (somewhere around the 13% level). Then I tried to walk. Total Inability To Stand Upright Personally. And all for a very small fraction of what the Musk Beer Emporium is charging.
LOL.
That must have been Kwak beer. Was it in a vase-shaped glass with a bulb at the end in a wooden holder? That glass is designed to also ensure you inhale the vapours, and yes, it gets you from zero to definitely not suitable to walk, let alone drive in one to two glasses :).
I believe Belgium has as many different beers as Malta has churches.
Tripel Karmeliet goes down very well, or Bourgogne De Flandres
I remember an evening spent drinking Kwak (I think that was the name - comes in a boot-shaped bottle) beer in France, near the Belgian border. We exhaused the guest houses' entire stock between the 4 of us.
Ironically, we were all on motorbikes though none of us on a Kwak/Kawasaki
(Two on Italian bikes, one on a Suzuki and me on a Honda Fireblade 900)
"...What would Orwell think of Elon Musk?..."
You need to, at least, make the questions marginally challenging, El Reg. There's absolutely no sport at all involved in answering this one--
He'd think the same as most of the people, who are NOT buggy, unstable alpha males, think--Elon Musk is an asshole.
At the very least, make us have to think about how to answer your next question, El Reg...OK?
The sooner we accept that fact the better. The cult is all in on the truck that apparently is a pig to make but his Muskness wants it so... it gets built.
Then there is the Semi. Announced when? From memory, 2017. It was a market leader THEN.
Since then, the likes of Volvo, Mercedes etc have gone large and are selling lots of them while Tesla is faffing around with what 50 units out in customer hands so far?
Then they basically sell two cars, the 3 and Y mostly in Black or White. The '3' was ahead of the game in 2017 but now? What big changes other than a facelift has been done to it since? Very few.
Would I buy even a used Tesla? Perhaps a Model S but now else. At least in Europe, we have a lot of choice and IMHO anyone buying a Model 3 or Y right now are buying the name and the cult.
Downvote this all you like but I'll continue to enjoy my iX3. 0-60 times are not everything on this side of the Pond.
PS
We are just lucky that Elon can't be POTUS. Can you imagine him as Trump Mk2?
I sure hope that bit about 'alpha males' was ironic (the 'buggy, unstable' is correct), because any guys slavishly lapping up everything Elmo does or says, while on their knees, are hardly 'alpha'. I hate the term and the a-holes who use it unironically, but I think this is beyond any interpretation of it.
'buggy, unstable, bootlicking, wannabe alpha males'?
https://twitter.com/Cyber_beer
How long does the Cyber Beers Review page have left?
Can't leave around any evidence that Elon wasn't the first person to think up an idea.
(Although kinda surprised that he didn't use the more obvious name "Cybeer" and then try to bully the makers of the cider/beer combo - after all, Musk clearly has more rights to use the name, it isn't a proper contraction of cider+beer...)
The Flame thrower was a Boring Company product iirc. The same Boring company that was going to make bricks from the dirt it mined out of tunnels, sell them, and become financially self supporting. I understand the planned tunnel from Ontario International Airport they were supposed to dig never happened, as costs spiralled from $45M to ~$500M, at which point, they bailed. At least folks that ordered the weed burners got one.
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