back to article BOFH: We've made a big mesh, Boss. That's what you wanted, right?

BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns "I need you to find it!" the Boss snaps. "I...  Nope... nothing.." I say, perusing my phone screen. "It was there a minute ago." "Yes, but it's transient. It might even just be too far away." "It was there when I was walking over." "Well let's just pop outside the office and check …

  1. Terje

    Ahh, A generous dose of BOFH was just what the doctor ordered for me today!

    1. b0llchit Silver badge
      Coat

      Was that a "doctor" of the trade or someone you know?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Doctor of mixology sciences down at the local.

    2. Mark 85
      Thumb Up

      I think this is something we all needed today in light of what's going on around the world. Well done, Simon. Thanks for the laugh and the distraction.

  2. Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    This is a good day, even if it is the 13th...

    Onwards to chailatime!

    And the weekend!

    1. wolfetone Silver badge
      Coat

      From one of the 3 pubs within 110 yards of the weekend...

      1. tezboyes

        That was of course necessary, for proper triangulation.

  3. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

    Ah. It must be Friday Praise the $Deity of choice.

    And I'd just like to say that my boss isn't a gobshite.

    Not the present one......

  4. DJV Silver badge

    HR Department

    "Where there's a particularly dense mass – like the lift well, the services risers, or our HR department"

    Yeah, I've worked in places that had HR Departments like that. Any denser and they would have become singularities.

    1. theOtherJT Silver badge

      Re: HR Department

      Everyone has worked at a place with an HR department like that.

    2. My-Handle

      Re: HR Department

      I'll have to have a chat with my brother, he started working in HR a couple of years ago.

      I've always wanted to know what's on the other side of the event horizon.

      1. Mark 85
        Pirate

        Re: HR Department

        I'll have to have a chat with my brother, he started working in HR a couple of years ago.

        I've always wanted to know what's on the other side of the event horizon.

        Very quietly and with low volume, tell him "you really don't want to know". Give a knowing look and wander off to the pub.

  5. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Brilliant episode, once more

    "And the new SSIDs are saying you're not a gobshite."

    Lovely touch. Malicious compliance turned proactive

  6. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
    Happy

    Ahhhh the

    BoFH, just the thing to give me bad ideas if I'm allowed access to our wi-fi router, and also the thing to take my mind off a very serious work problem.

    The fact that I am feeling 2 very conflicting emotions over our esteemed PFY, Pride in that she's learned her training well, and fear because she's learned her training so well.

    You see friday lunchtime is taken in the pub, and friday afternoon I wander back to the office in order to 'review' the week's production and list any problems(this is best done with eyes closed leaning back in the chair, snoring optional)

    However last friday, after a dispute earlier in the week with the PFY, I wander back to the office worse for wear and a 7th sense stops me from shutting the door.

    On closer examination of the door I find contact glue has been smeared around the door frame and on the edge of the door, and the door handle has been unscrewed inside so that if I'd slammed the door in my usual way the door would have glued shut and the handle fallen off when I tried openeing the door to go home.

    Ahh but what about the burglar alarm sensor in the corner of the office, that would have tripped if the last man out set the alarm... only it would'nt... because its been disconnected leaving me stuck in the office all weekend......

    I think I better make sure I have the high ground whenever I have to talk to her

    1. My-Handle

      Re: Ahhhh the

      Sounds like a fun place you work. Let me know if there are any vacancies? I've got a couple of evil ideas that's be great for someone else to try.

    2. Bebu
      Windows

      Re: Ahhhh the

      fear because she's learned her training so well.

      I think she has graduated summa cum laude from the Hadian academy of system administration. One might suspect a little cribbing or plagarism from this column. ;) To round out her skills she should probably do a research thesis on constructive defenestration.

      I would advise the two of you to have current wills.

      1. Hot Diggity

        Re: Ahhhh the

        Surely having current wills just increases the number of people who want you dead?

        1. WonkoTheSane
          Trollface

          Re: Ahhhh the

          Where there's a will, there's relatives.

    3. Giles C Silver badge

      Re: Ahhhh the

      Moral high ground or physical high ground.

      If the latter don’t do it from the top of a ladder or on a mezzanine. You might find some strategic weakening if she gets an idea of where it is going to happen.

    4. This post has been deleted by its author

  7. cookieMonster Silver badge
    Pint

    Gobshite

    Nows there's a word you don’t hear enough of these days.

    Pint? ,cause its Friday…. Ye gobshite….

    /joke icon also /

    1. steelpillow Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: Gobshite

      Well, there was that Father Ted episode where Father Jack actually sobered up briefly and proffered his opinion on the eponymous lead character.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Gobshite

        "Father Jack actually sobered up briefly"

        Really? I may have missed that one. Or maybe I just blinked and missed it :-)

    2. Ken G Silver badge

      Re: Gobshite

      You obviously haven't been discussing Irish politics.

  8. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    A breath of fresh air

    After visiting three pubs?

    I always thought this new-fangled wire-less stuff would come back to bite.

  9. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

    It's the fiction reflecting the reality of LEO procedural drama fiction inventing an IP address.... and coming up with 382.27.915.12 that I liked.

    You see it so often on US based crime dramas. You would have thought that their technical advisers would pick this up, but it seems not. I also recollect seeing 192.168 addresses, and I'm sure that I saw a 10.something address once being used for a supposed internet address.

    Maybe it's the same thinking as 555- prefixed telephone numbers.

    The only thing you could have also included was two people typing on the same keyboard!

    1. www2

      > The only thing you could have also included was two people typing on the same keyboard!

      If i think with scene from NCIS you mean my idea is that this is a parody.

      And the best thing the leader that in true is a Walking Techbane pull the plug.

      The scene in question:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msX4oAXpvUE

    2. doublelayer Silver badge

      I'm sure it's because they think someone will try to use any IP address they show on the screen, so they go with ones that can't be connected to anything. I've heard that, when they used phone numbers that weren't theirs and were valid, that the people who had those phone numbers received unnecessary calls. I don't know how many people who would do such a thing would also do it with IP addresses, but the writers probably don't want to take a risk. I'm not sure what I would do in their place, since using any invalid address is likely to look wrong when I know the rules, but using a valid one would probably also look wrong when it's identified as coming from a network where the events of the plot couldn't happen, for example routing to the wrong country or a corporate network that's not supposed to be involved. Maybe that's one advantage of IPV6 addresses: it's very unlikely that a random one will be routable because they've only got a few in a 64-bit block for each assigned prefix and they're long enough that identifying valid ones is rather difficult anyway.

      1. www2

        And beside this any address that are not start with a 2000::/3 with the expectation of 2001:db8::/32 can be use on a TV, streaming, movies.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Correct. The same goes for any credit card numbers that are shown (which, btw, a bank will supply you if you're testing systems that accept credit cards - provided you can prove you're doing that for real).

      3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        "I've heard that, when they used phone numbers that weren't theirs and were valid, that the people who had those phone numbers received unnecessary calls."

        I'd imagine it's the same in many countries. It might fail if the fake number shown on screen happens to be valid when it's shown on TV in a different country that uses similarly structured numbering systems. The UK has a number of phone numbers allocated for fictional TV use too. Sometimes they use an invalid number, sometimes they use a reserved and unallocated number as shown by those two Doctor Who examples.

        1. Big_Boomer

          An appropriate message?

          Why not use a real phone number, and record a message for all who call it starting with hysterical laughter and then saying "Get a life you sad loser!" ?

          1. WonkoTheSane

            Re: An appropriate message?

            Sometimes they do, and record a message saying "Watch the show!"

          2. doublelayer Silver badge

            Re: An appropriate message?

            Because that show will still be there for people to stream years from now, but will someone still be paying to keep the phone line open? It's not that they can't afford to, although having a low-use number isn't as cheap as I'd like, but it's work and people often don't want to go to the effort. If you're not going to still have that number online in five years, maybe don't put it in the show now.

  10. ShortLegs

    Some of them at least try... nmap output scrolling down the screen for example. Often used in "hacking" scenes.

    Lets not think about DOD 128bit encryption, and the positive effects of a shot and a blonde :)

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Back in the day, it was often MS-DOS debug output scrolling up the screen :-)

      I've seen C code, Java, Python, DOS batch files and even on one or two occasions bash scripts scrolling up the screen too, amongst other stuff like boot sequences from generic PCs:-)

  11. This post has been deleted by its author

  12. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

    I read that as

    "We've made a big mesh[mess], Boss. That's what you wanted, right?"

    The words could have been uttered a year ago by Kwasi Kwarteng to Liz Truss

    1. herman Silver badge

      Re: I read that as

      Didn’t Kwasi used to work at Barings Bank?

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I know what I'll be setting my car bluetooth to

    lets see what pairing requests I get

    1. Anonymous Anti-ANC South African Coward Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: I know what I'll be setting my car bluetooth to

      Also use "free pr0nz"...

      Do let us know.

      Should be interesting.

  14. Blackjack Silver badge

    So... how is that used M1 laptop you got in a trade working for you?

  15. Alan Brown Silver badge

    Simon's behind the times. I was able to localise rogue APs easily with my managed WiFi network - and more importantly, spin up those boss trolling SSIDs in a couple of seconds in random locations

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