back to article Neuralink's looking for participants willing to be part of human trials

That was fast: Neuralink, Elon Musk's brain-computer interface implant company, only received Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approval for human tests in late May, but it's already looking for participants in its first six-year trial program. Then again, Neuralink has been promising human trials of its implant, which is …

  1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    If self-experimentation was good enough for Neil Noakes it should be good enough for Elon Musk.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I note with interest he's explicitly looking for people who have a major problem arguing back. That ought to be supervised thoroughly as it's not like he has a brilliant track record when it comes to respect for human lives.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I can't believe I am going to type this

    But cut the fucking snark!

    I remember the snark about Space X when it started up. But thanks to Melon Suk putting someone else in charge look where it is now.

    So it is easy to take piss out of neurolink turning people into cabbages. But...

    If Melon puts someone else in charge, is it just possible that some good could come out of this?

    I am about to go for treatment for cancer for the 4th time. This time the treatment is experimental. I don't give a fuck. Just do it to me.

    Maybe people who are desperate, like me, will be happy to give Neurolink a go?

    All medical science that we now take for granted was developed from awful happenings.

    1. IGotOut Silver badge

      Re: I can't believe I am going to type this

      So you skipped over all the parts where they cut corners, side stepped regulations, killing and maiming animals in the process.

      The rules are there for a reason. If a medical company ignore these, then I sure as hell wouldn't trust them.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. aerogems Silver badge

      Re: I can't believe I am going to type this

      He didn't really have a choice but to put Shotwell in charge at SpaceX. Moron decided it'd be a good idea to let himself be filmed smoking a blunt. We can talk about the stupidity of marijuana being a Schedule 1 drug in the US among the ranks of heroin and cocaine, but it doesn't change the fact that it is so classified, and that possessing and smoking it is a federal crime. A federal crime Twitler decided to have himself filmed committing while holding a US Security Clearance.

      Condolences on your cancer. Since you read El Reg you can't be THAT bad a person. If there are people in a similar position who are willing to sign up for Twitler's program, I salute their willingness to sacrifice for the potential benefit for the rest of us. However, when it comes to Neurolink, I suspect their sacrifice would be wasted. There are others who have been at this game a lot longer than Twitler and they haven't managed devices that are orders of magnitude less complex than what Twitler's attempting. I'd much rather see volunteers sign up for clinical trials with those outfits. It has nothing to do with Twitler being a raging arsehole, and more to do with the fact that a lot of really smart people have been working on this a long time and they haven't managed to crack it yet, so the idea that Twitler can just throw a bunch of money around and magically achieve the equivalent of cold fusion in his garage, is rather bonkers.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I can't believe I am going to type this

        The issue I have with Musk, is the influence he holds over the US government, if they want to get stuff in to space it's SpaceX, the standard for electric vehicle charging sockets is now the one Tesla own, the donation of Starlink to the Ukraine government is now being funded by the US government after the Billionaire complained at the ongoing cost. Is it not unreasonable to think he, and his companies, may have some influence over the people who do the approvals?

        Oh and while weed is Schedule 1 drug, cocaine is only Schedule 2

        1. aerogems Silver badge

          Re: I can't believe I am going to type this

          While I don't disagree, I believe NASA is still making its own rockets, they just (stupidly IMO) retired the Shuttle program. But the Starlink thing, especially based on some of the things we learned about via the book about twitler that just came out... Twitler basically can watch Ukrainian troop movements in real-time, and he's started spouting Russian propaganda of late, so if he ever gets it in his head to leak any of that info on Twitter it could be disastrous for Ukraine which is literally fighting for its very existence. I'm also not fond of having thousands of additional objects obscuring the view of astronomers, and requiring them to account for each little satellite if they get some unexpected reading.

          I've always been of the opinion that government agencies like the military and NASA should be fully self-sufficient because of the sensitive nature of some of the things they do. Everything from building their own fighter jets to sidearms. Not that my opinion accounts for, anything really, when it comes to those matters.

          Also, noted on the drug classification, which only makes marijuana being Schedule 1 all the dumber. I don't think there's any objective way you can claim marijuana needs to be regulated more stringently than cocaine.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I can't believe I am going to type this

      A thumbs up from me for making a plausible reasoned argument. Still, I have a hard time reconciling the concepts of "Musk" and "the steady hand of a brain surgeon" - I don't consider that an insult to Musk either. Right, he wouldn't be the brain surgeon, but I worry his mountain moving activity might lead to earthquakes in the operating theatre.

    4. xyz Silver badge

      Re: I can't believe I am going to type this

      I've only got one thing to say... FUCK THAT! No way am I plugging myself into a router.

    5. sabroni Silver badge

      Re: But cut the fucking snark!

      FFS, if you want craven fealty to Musk you can go to just about any other site on the web. If you don't like the snark, go elsewhere.

  3. DS999 Silver badge

    Maybe Musk already had this done

    And that's why he's gone off the deep end in the last couple years?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Maybe Musk already had this done

      Beat me to it, but yeah, when was the last time you saw a 360 degree of his head?

      I don't expect this one to end well, let alone in success. But since SpaceX is killing it, it will take it's place on his late phase Howard Huges dumpster fire reel.

      This era will be hard to explain 20 years from now.

  4. Andy Non Silver badge

    I'd fancy that implant

    about as much as a hole in the head. Folks having it must want their heads examining.

    1. Clausewitz4.0 Bronze badge
      Black Helicopters

      Re: I'd fancy that implant

      They are already doing it illegally and destroying people's lives.

      If you were the subject of such an illegal experiment, I suggest you grab your purse and demand your BILLION.

  5. darkrookie28

    This is like a scam to take advantage of the disabled.

    Go to the site. Nothing on how the thing interfaces with the computer on the main page. Nothing on price. Just some picture of a phone on what looks to be a wireless charger. And a whole bunch of how this will help the less fortunate.

    Seems fishy to me.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Or, seems a bit Theranos to me :-)

  6. aerogems Silver badge

    *Hard* Pass

    I cannot stress just how hard of a pass that would be for me. After reading about how many research animals they had to put down as a result of massive infections because of the abattoir conditions of their lab, and how they were transporting biohazardous waste around without proper safeguards.. even if Twitler offered me his entire fortune, I'd tell him where he can stuff it. What good is all that money if I'm a drooling vegetable the rest of my life? Or worse, being completely lucid, but trapped in my meat sack body.

  7. chuckufarley Silver badge

    I might give it a go...


    ...If They Remember It For Me Wholesale.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I might give it a go...

      Is that why he wants to colonize Mars so badly?

      Elon, take the red pill already!

      1. chuckufarley Silver badge

        Re: I might give it a go...

        Elon doesn't want to colonize Mars. He just wants you to remember that he colonized Mars.

      2. aerogems Silver badge

        Re: I might give it a go...

        The whole colonize Mars thing was always just a grift to fund SpaceX. You think that attention starved narcissist could deal with the 6-month trip to Mars without being able to check Twitter?

  8. Winkypop Silver badge

    PRIME you say

    So almost impossible to cancel then?

    I prefer my chips in my mouth thanks.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Didn’t Elmo already do an implant at Neuralink?

    A baby into one of Neuralink’s female executives?

  10. Bebu Silver badge

    If the Neurolink chip does ApplePay...

    Musk's loyal disciples will be lining up.

    Its all a John Lumic / Cybus Industries style conspiracy for Tesla to harness millions of human brains into a network intelligence to drive Teska's self driving cars so as not to T-bone locomotives or home in on emergency vehicle flashing lights. Based on my exposure to the Musk fanbase the raw material (brains) are sufficient defective to sabotage this cunning plan from the outset. It must be galling to be at best a third rate John Lumic ;)

  11. TopBanana
    Black Helicopters

    Life imitates fiction

    Does nobody remember LImetown!? This won't end well.

  12. FeepingCreature Bronze badge

    I for one...

    I think Neuralink's approach is cool, and I'm excited to see how it works in practice.

    Hey, maybe if it turns out well, I can get one in a decade or two!

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