And what is that smell?
Ah yes, bullshit.
Indian tech services giant Infosys has launched a "sonic identity" that The Register's irregular marketing column Logo Watch feels compelled to cover because the outfit has described it as the "auditory equivalent of its blue visual identity and logo." The sonic identity is expressed as a three-second sting that bears more …
Every single phrase uttered by the infosys marketing team, president and VP is utter bollocks. It makes me glad I left the corporate world to do my own thing. I don't have to put up with this total tummy-rubbish.
"sonic identity is needed because stakeholders now spend more time interacting with brands through digital channels, and those channels are getting crowded" - yep, corporate-speak bollocks.
"to amplify human potential and create the next opportunity for people, businesses and communities' – when stakeholders interact with the brand." - word salad, with manure dressing
"The Infosys tune will serve as an auditory reinforcement of our unique brand identity" - marketing drivel
"help deepen the emotional connection our stakeholders have with Infosys by cueing in the promise of opportunity creation that is integral to our brand purpose." - WOW! That is the verbal equivalent of sauteed goat vomit.
"We aspire for the sound of Infosys to signal and be recognized as the sound of opportunity for all our stakeholders, across markets," - the sound of souls dying in agony
Ah, but you have missed the genius of the Infosys sound.
I bet that, if you heard it now, you would be able to identify your company's jingle very quickly. As you should be able to with any decent ident: "Bing Bong - Avon Calling", or the Intel Irritant.
But this noise? It does have a repeat on the piano, which you might learn to recognise, but it is buried until around the 29 second mark! Which is well after the point you've got bored by the plinky: I subjected myself to the tune thrice before I actually noticed that tag, as I'd tuned out by then.
 I was checking before slagging the tune off as having absolutely nothing recognisable in it
 due diligence can really take its toll on your soul, gimme some rock'n'roll to heal this troll
"As you run your hand over the richly textured router shell and release the gentle aroma of our signature perfume 'PacketLoss'"
Or the haptic approach:
"Open the magnesium allow laptop and feel the Tingle of Excitement, tuned to Your Environment" (aka our power supply has a dodgy connection and you get a 50Hz buzz in the UK or a 60Hz in the US).
"The Infosys tune will serve as an auditory reinforcement of our unique brand identity," he marketed. It will also "help deepen the emotional connection our stakeholders have with Infosys by cueing in the promise of opportunity creation that is integral to our brand purpose."
"We aspire for the sound of Infosys to signal and be recognized as the sound of opportunity for all our stakeholders, across markets," he added."
What a complete load of fucking horseshit!
Reminded me of nothing more inspirational the the rubbish muzak loops that "customer service" or "help" lines play while you are waiting for the next available clueless clot.
Complete waste of time as after watching the whole clip I couldn't tell what it was about. Probably wasn't preparation H but I could be wrong.
Yeah, I was skipping through to find the short catchy few notes that was their "identity" before I realised it was the full, entire and hugely overlong thing! I was expecting something like, as mentioned, the Intel Inside thing or the Dolby sound ident.
Sack the writer! That music was far too interesting. We need something far blander.
What? Blander than Moby? I'm not sure that's possible sir! I'm worried that if we make the tune any less interesting we risk causing massive brain damage.
That's OK. We can test it to make sure it's safe.
...one week later...
Sir. We test new audio logo thingymajig on marketing department. Dey don't seem no stupider than dey was last week.
Cool! Then we're got for launchification on the new audio strategolio! Hit it daddio!
The thing is, if everybody is going to jump on the "let's make annoying noises" bandwagon, these annoying noises are going to have to be unique and distinctive, so one doesn't risk confusion between, say Infosys and Intel. Easily done.
Therefore, might I suggest that the sound of a flushing toilet would be a more appropriate, and unique, aural cue?
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If you had read the original story, you'd know that the Golgafrinchan Arkship B crashed on Earth, thus destroying the computer program the Earth was built to run and the survivors outcompeted and extictionised the local inhabitants resulting in us being the descendants of said Golgafrinchans.
The London Olympic logo was a bit awful, but totally less so after it was explained that it was a moving gif (it more less jiggled in place), not meant to be view statically. That is, the billion times it was printed on things wasn't how it was meant to be viewed. So that's why you think its ugly, they explained.
Proving that just because you CAN add other aspects of multimedia to a thing, doesn't mean you SHOULD.
(And not at all mentioning that what it really looked like was Lisa Simpson performing a sexual act on a seated person-with-a-penis)