back to article Celsius feels the heat: Ex-CEO arrested, watchdogs line up to sue bankrupt crypto biz

Alex Mashinsky, the now-former CEO of collapsed cryptocurrency concern Celsius, today faces charges of fraud as prosecutors and watchdogs pile in. America's Federal Trade Commission [PDF], Commodity Futures Trading Commission [PDF] and Securities and Exchange Commission [PDF] all simultaneously launched legal action against …

  1. sarusa Silver badge
    Devil

    yerhonner

    Trials like this should be:

    Judge: 'Blah de blah opening stuff'

    Prosecution: 'Cryptocurrency, your honor'

    Judge: 'Guilty, guilty, GUILTY' *hammering the desk with gavel*

    No fuss, no muss. Well, I guess it would take some time to decide the extent of the jail time and fines. :)

  2. Howard Sway Silver badge

    the company was allegedly a Ponzi scheme like some other crypto initiatives

    "some"

    Haha. Challenge any one to explain exactly how it isn't a Ponzi scheme. They can't.

    1. Yorick Hunt Silver badge

      Re: the company was allegedly a Ponzi scheme like some other crypto initiatives

      Just as with the entirety of the stock market, but their better "connections" keep them out of the poop.

    2. katrinab Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: the company was allegedly a Ponzi scheme like some other crypto initiatives

      I can explain:

      This was a Ponzi scheme built on top of another Ponzi scheme, the crypto coins themselves. A Ponzi² scheme if you will.

      The others were merely Ponzi schemes.

    3. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: the company was allegedly a Ponzi scheme like some other crypto initiatives

      Challenge any one to explain exactly how it isn't a Ponzi scheme. They can't.

      There are many examples of cryptocurrency fraud which are not Ponzi schemes. Not all fraudulent practices are Ponzi schemes, and reducing everything to one is simply lazy thinking.

      Celsius does appear to have been running a Ponzi scheme, particularly in their lending business and issuance of the CEL token. But they also appear to have been conducting other fraudulent operations which were not Ponzi schemes, such as market manipulation and making claims of excessive returns.

      If we're going to criticize the cybercurrency industry – and, sure, do so, because it's a pile of shit – we could at least try to do so accurately.

  3. druck Silver badge

    To sum up

    %s/Crypto/Fraudo/g

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: To sum up

      But I do crypto daily, and I'm proud of it!

      Lots of it, too: ssh, TLS, S/MIME, gpg, LUKS, some in-house stuff wuth HSM. The key management that goes on top of it. It's really my daily grind.

      No cryptocrap though.

  4. Groo The Wanderer Silver badge

    Another failed crypto exchange, another set of fraud charges.

    When are people going to realize the whole crypto craze is just a ponzi scheme that benefits the early adopters and ONLY the early adopters?

  5. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    Roni Cohen Pavon on the run

    You mean this guy ?

    This "Celsius Network Roni" ? Pro tip : if the name you use at work is not the name on your birth certificate, you're either an actor, a porn star or a criminal. You most certainly are not a professional businessman, even if you do wear a suit and a tie.

    So he "assists in the development of sales strategies and the identification of a variety of difficulties and obstacles" at Celcius ? Seems like he mainly worked to find ways to cheat the law, maximize sucker income and sing the siren tune of unbelievable interest rates (because they were not real).

    And now, like the cockroach sent scurrying from the light, he is running from Justice. I'm guessing he may be smart enough to go to a country that doesn't have an extradition treaty with the USA (not guaranteed, but still possible) - which are, for the most part, poor, 3rd-world countries. I'm also guessing the FBI have his accounts frozen, so I hope he had the foresight to stash some funny money into an account that he can still access from whatever straw-thatched hut he's living in now.

    In any case, I'm sure he'll be living la vida loca for $2/day for the foreseeable future, unless he's stupid enough to get himself caught for something (not impossible either). Fugitive from justice sure gives you time to reflect on how not smart you actually were when you decided that scamming people with false claims and newfangled non-tech was a good idea. Of course, it gives you time, but the intelligence to recognize that doesn't come giftwrapped with it.

  6. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Coat

    Didn't The Specials write a chorus about cryptocurrencies back in the eighties?

    Ah, yes, Pearl's Cafe...

    The one with the porkpie hat in the pocket --->

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like