So who would win?
If they lock the cage and throw away the key, we all would.
It's been quite a week for billionaires doing ill-considered things, but let's not stop with touring the Titanic in a tin can because Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg could be on course to clash in a "cage match." There's no love lost between the Twitter and Meta kingpins especially now that the latter is said to be developing a …
If Mark Zuckerberg wants to beat Elon Musk, he should use what extraordinary strength he has, namely, financial.
He should buy Twitter and turn it into a platform that shits heavily on Musk (or even just reports the truth about him).
That would irritate the fuck out of Musk. Also a 'woke' Twitter would cause few blood vessels to be burst too (woke as defined, naturally, by Musk).
With any luck he might also bring down Twitter & Meta with it. One can only dream.
According to one of his own tweets, his strategy is to basically fall on Zuckerberg and pin him under his weight. Given jujutsu is all about close-quarters unarmed combat, I don't think that will work out too well for Twitler, but it won't make it any less entertaining to watch!
As this story is one of completely immature behaviour by grown adults, I'm just going to say that I hope to see them slam each other so hard they both go down, just before Musk pukes up a half digested tentacle.
His blood glucose curve must be horrific. If he's not yet diabetic, he'll almost certainly be pre-diabetic, but never mind about that, the heart attack or stroke will probably get him first from his blood fat content (I'm willing to bet that "ice cream" is a luxury brand and heavy on the cream).
On the other hand, octopus is both tasty and not that bad for you. I wonder how many you have to eat before Cthulhu comes for you, though?
octopus is both tasty and not that bad for you. I wonder how many you have to eat before Cthulhu comes for you, though?
When eating cephalopods I like to think of it as worshipping The Tentacled One without having to learn all those pesky throat mangling consonant combinations. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh *cough* *splutter* …
[We need an icon for Cosmic Horrors. Maybe a Capita contract boilerplate?]
I certainly feel more guilty when eating cephalopods than when eating chicken or even beef; some of them are remarkably intelligent, you wouldn't see a cow working out how to open a jar and remove items from inside, and the chicken would just try to fight its own reflection. However, this is tempered by just how delicious they actually are, so it's a toughie. Even though some of them may well be more intelligent than Musk, nutritionally, they'd be much better for me than eating saggy billionaire.
"I certainly feel more guilty when eating cephalopod... “
That's why I have heavily cut back on eating octopus myself...
" just how delicious they actually are"
And that's why I have just cut back rather than stopped altogether
I wasn't a big octopus eater but growing up on the coast, I ate my fair share.
Watched My Octopus Teacher a few years back.
No chance I can eat another one.
I know it was heavily anthropomorphised but there's still no way I can eat one again. There is just a little bit too much 'intelligence' there for me.
You can basically smell the testerone from here! Two huge tech titans and giant nerds basically yelling, "Yeah well my Dad's bigger than your Dad!". FFS!
Reminds of Pete on the Friends TV show from the 1990s, where a tech billionaire decides to take up UFC style cage fighting, trains with an ex-assassin ( played by the superb James Hong ) and basically he's so unfit and useless he gets his arse handed to him.
Mr Musk, who turns 52 later this month, also tweeted: "I have this great move that I call 'The Walrus', where I just lie on top of my opponent & do nothing."
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-65981876
That would make Musk's Giant Haystacks to Zuckerberg's Big Daddy
Loser of the fight has to give up control of their respective social media platform. Never again posting any content or having any input on day-to-day operations. Any and all violations will result in a $100K fine to be paid to a charity for some group they despise. So in the case of Twitler, he'd have to give money to an LGBTQ+ charity, and I'm sure we could find something for Zuck. They also wouldn't be allowed to deduct the donation from their tax liabilities. They can retain their respective stakes in each company, but they're just not allowed to be employed by either company in any capacity.
No matter who wins the fight, we all win. And the fact that Twitler is likely to be zucked just means we win in the best possible way.
I would expect Zuckerberg has enough sense not to agree any kind of bet with Musk. Even if the contract is completely air-tight Musk will piss, moan and whine for months while delaying discovery. The only way to win that fight is to do a Twitter: spend Twitter resources on the litigation so Musk picked up the bill when he finally capitulated and bought Twitter (with a pile of legal expenses he/Twitter is trying not to pay).
I used to think that until I did kickboxing. Young lads in 20s who had obviously hit the gym would take one look at me in my 30s and 40s (slim and not very muscled back then) and think it would be easy. I used to win every time, as I'd been doing it for years. It's all about experience and skills.
Pretty similar with BJJ, which mostly beats kickboxing in MMA. Zuck would whip his arse.
Your average cage fight has very few rules (I think maybe "don't kill your opponent," and "don't go for the eyes or groin"), so it's pretty hard to cheat. To be honest, if they start breaking the rules, which are mostly about not making it into a deathmatch, I'm not too bothered.
Yeah, I'm a couple of inches shorter than that, a few years younger, and weigh something in that region, and I'm quite slightly built (apart from the middle-age spread, which, from the pictures I've seen, Musk suffers from more than I do). I reckon we can probably add about 25kg onto that "estimate".
but then again, Musk is "said to be" a genius, which goes to show exactly how much weight hearsay carries (pun intended).
I think the commentards are taking this waaayyyy too seriously. It's just banter. I think it's quite funny actually. I'd like to see more of these light-hearted exchanges. The world has so much heart-breaking shit going on in it at the moment. Let's not make stuff up.
I think El Reg has the right measure of snark and humour in this instance.
Actually watched that for the first time a few weeks ago. My school wasn't one of the ones where they wheeled the telly out in front of the whole class and traumatised the kids with it, but I know plenty of people who did have that inflicted on them.
Also made a visit to Kelvedon Hatch earlier in the year, and I'm now firmly of the opinion now that I'd prefer to be in the blast zone than take the option of slow death underground...
Musk has arranged the time, but ultimately will fail to show, saying he never actually meant it, but if he must, he'll send someone else. If he wins, it's because he is the one that trained him. If he loses, they'll just get fired.
Zuck will turn up and walk through he crowd shaking hands, whilst removing the wallets and purses with the other. He will say the fight was all his idea and no one else was involved.
Ultimately it will be like the two blokes in the street that rip off their shirts shouting "c'mon then" over and over until their tiny trophy girlfriends grab them by the ear and drag them away.