back to article BMW adds games to the 5 series but still ain't the Ultimate Gaming Machine

BMW has announced a new in-car gaming feature available on its 5 series automobiles that allows users to use smartphones as a controller for software running on in-car screens. The German automaker billed the feature as a way to play "so-called casual games" to pass the time while waiting for an electric vehicle to charge – …

  1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    Ir's a 5series

    It has to be a golf game

  2. Paul Crawford Silver badge

    Now if they just could cure the pesky problem of indicators never working....

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      They do work. The "turn signal" add-on pack is just $20/month for the first 3 months or you can get "turn signal ProPlus" for $50 that includes 4 way flashers to give free parking in bus and bike lanes

  3. Dan 55 Silver badge
    Meh

    No point whatsoever

    BMW did it because Tesla did it.

    Tesla did it because... you can preview your next Autopilot crash in GTA?

  4. MJI Silver badge

    But I want...........................

    For gamers not so good, we would want PS XB Nintendo or Steam usablilty.

    Just don't play Gran Turismo.

  5. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Mushroom

    Oh my.

    Purpose of car: get person from A to B

    Car is unable to complete the journey without a long stop to recharge.

    Solution: install video games?

    Really? This is the best they can come up with? For Pete's sake, enough already with the toys and trickery...

    1. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge
      Flame

      Re: Oh my.

      Exactly.

      Adding technology/tricks/toys to cars is a curse. My current car is without doubt the worst car that I have ever driven. Mechanically it's great, but every time I use it, at least two stupid little glitches will occur in the electronic gubbins (whatever the car equivalent of avionics is) which leaves me more angry at the end of the journey than when I started. Always just little annoyances, and very often related to features that I never wanted but which the manufacturer included in the software, seemingly for the sake of it.

    2. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

      Re: Oh my.

      The real problem with your criticism, is not that the journey needs a charge, but the fact you think its accept to make such long journey's to begin with. Not only are the passengers wasting time during a recharge, they are wasting time by doing the ENTIRE LONG journey.

      1. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge

        Re: Oh my.

        So everyone should stay in their own little bubble, huh? Never dare venture more than half their car's range before heading for home.

        And please don't say "public transport" is the answer to longer journeys. It completely is not. If it were, there would be far fewer cars. Myriad reasons why public transport is not a magic silver bullet, from convenience and dependability, through comfort, cost, availability and journey complexity.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Oh my.

          Cost is definitely a big one. I'm leftpondian, and the last train trip I went on cost almost as much as airfare would have. No wonder there weren't that many passengers. (But it was roomier, quieter, and much more relaxing, even if it did take a lot longer.)

          1. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

            Re: Oh my.

            Cost...absolutely, especially when you scale it up for, say multiple family members. 5 people in the car costs the same as a single person, but 5 people taking the plane/train/whatever multiplies the cost by 5. Car definitely wins out for economies of scale.

            1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

              Re: Oh my.

              So live in a place you actually like instead of trying to escape from your current home which you clearly arent particularly found of.

              1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

                Re: Oh my.

                The world is an enormous and fascinating place, why would I want to spend my entire life in just one small corner?

                1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

                  Re: Oh my.

                  > The world is an enormous and fascinating place, why would I want to spend my entire life in just one small corner?

                  Exactly.

                  So why drive a 1000 km and waste a day travelling in each direction ?

                  Why not visit places much closer and trade time in the car with time outside ?

        2. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

          Re: Oh my.

          I never said they should stay in their own little bubble.

          If you have to drive so much and so far, maybe the real question is why do you live in a place you clearly dislike ? If all your friends and family live half way across the country, maybe you should change your priorities and put them ahead so you can actually visit them more often instead of a handful of times a year.

          1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

            Re: Oh my.

            Maybe you should stop trying to dictate to others how they should run their lives. Your way isn't their way. Mind your own business, and stop being such an arrogant nagging little busybody.

            1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

              Re: Oh my.

              > Maybe you should stop trying to dictate to others how they should run their lives. Your way isn't their way. Mind your own business, and stop being such an arrogant nagging little busybody.

              You seem to have a real problem with understanding the concept of free speach and changing a simple opinion into an act of terror.

              Did i hold a gun to anyones head ?

              No i didnt, i simply pointed out with everyone having limited time, rather than waste 10 hours in a car over the weekend, drive less and spend more time outside.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Oh my.

            It's a fact of life that communities evolve, people move in and out of places for social and economic reasons. It's one of the things that make mankind what it is.

            Granted, there are communities where that sort of socio-economic churn doesn't happen but they're few and far between....some f***ing good banjo players though

      2. IGotOut Silver badge

        Re: Oh my.

        @cowhorsefrog.

        Have you tried getting out and, you know, experiencing life, rather than rage about absolutely everything?

        1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

          Re: Oh my.

          I live in a small town you never heard of, clean air, the best beaches in the world, and everything else is paradise.

          I dont need to run or drive or fly away from my home because i already live in paradise.

          Every day im here instead of counting the hours and months for my next holiday or long weekend... im here every day.

          No wonder you need to drive away from your workers paradise you obviously dont have the skills or grasp the concept of living first and not being a slave to your career.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Oh my.

            What a strange view of the world.

            Not everyone can live in your little paradise, for example whatever device you are reading the register on was assembled by people in a factory, it was then transported by people to wherever you bought it from. All of those people had to go to a place of work and had to live close enough to make it financially viable.

            Somebody else then had to install all the infrastructure so you could connect to the internet and connect that back to the nearest major hub which connects to the internet backbone.

            So yes you can live in your paradise bubble but everyone else is working to enable you to do this.

          2. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge
            Facepalm

            Re: Oh my.

            I too live in a rather idyllic little corner of the world. I love it.

            I work from home where I can because I don't want to travel away from here,

            However, I'm not completely blinkered, and am interested in experiencing other environments and cultures. How do I get to experience that? I travel

            I love music, but there's zero chance of any of my favourite big-name bands coming to a village with a population of <300 where the only venue is a tiny church hall. Guess what I do when I want to see a live show? I travel.

            Over time, a number of family and friends have had to migrate to other locales, e.g. because it suits them better for work, study, or because they find some other place more idyllic. I'm not going to sever all ties with them because they've moved away, so and we value our relationships enough not to exist by Zoom alone. How do we maintain human contact? We travel.

            I could go on, but I won't

            To be honest, it makes me a little sad to think that you have such a blinkered view of life and by staying in your bubble you'll rob yourself of so many opportunities to experience so much.

          3. theOtherJT Silver badge

            Re: Oh my.

            Well aren't you a lucky, arrogant, self-satisfied, little jackass.

            Most of us live where we live because it's the best balance we can strike between where we want to be, where we need to be, and where we can afford. Given the option I too would love to live in a pretty little seaside paradise, but I have to stay within a realistic distance of my elderly family who need my support, my friends who can't afford to move to paradise, and my work which requires me to attend it occasionally and isn't located in paradise.

            1. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

              Re: Oh my.

              > Most of us live where we live because it's the best balance we can strike between where we want to be,

              If you want to be there, then why drive for hours to get away ?

              When i say hours i mean 5 - 10 hours which is exactly what so many comments are saying. Over any weekend theres only 2 days, driving 10 hours means you just wasted half of those two day, which doesnt sound very smart given the limited budget.

              > where we need to be,

              Yeh keep telling yourself that when your eighty and look back.

              > and where we can afford.

              Most country or small towns are significantly cheaper than the big smoke, so yet again by your own metrics you failed.

        2. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

          Re: Oh my.

          Can you read ?

          Did you actually read what i said ?

          I simply suggested that rather than be a prisoner in a car for 10 hours and driving a thousand miles, that people should minimize this enclosed time and do anything else like smell the trees etc.

          I never said to stay home. It would appear you dont know how to read and think theres some magical prize for wasting as many hours in a car. Guess what theres not, anything is better than spending 10 hours a in car over any weekend.

          Why couldnt be gracious and say well thats a good thing to do or try instead of being a sore loser, making up lies about how wonderful it is to live in the big smoke and waste hours of your life in traffic because you can pretend your career is so wonderful.

          1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

            Re: Oh my.

            I notice your posts are being liked by all your friends.

    3. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Oh my.

      My last holiday was well in range of about half a tank. But I fill up every 200 miles due to fuel pump issues.

      When we got there the petrol station was shut but lots of charging stations, would have been better off with a battery car.

      Got my diesel 2 miles north of local town.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    BMW aren't losing to Tesla because of games

    It's because both cars are plastic trimmed shit but Tesla's are supposedly less shit in the eyes of the market.

    Maybe BMW should stop charging Merc pricing for Vauxhall tier interiors?

    1. IGotOut Silver badge

      Re: BMW aren't losing to Tesla because of games

      Do Mercs still use a £400 module to flash a light bulb?

      Do they still complain if you stick in a different make of bulb?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: BMW aren't losing to Tesla because of games

        They probably do but at least you feel like you're well off while you're being robbed blind.

    2. MJI Silver badge
      Devil

      Re: BMW aren't losing to Tesla because of games

      BMW are even making F***t (only) wheel drive cars now!!!!

      Sorry about the swearing.

      At least mine are permanent 4x4

  7. CowHorseFrog Silver badge

    Why does the article say Musk owns Tesla but doesnt mention the majority shareholders of BMW ?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The cult of personality....I think I spelled that right :-/

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        His Muskiness has a personality?

  8. that one in the corner Silver badge

    driven while the gaming is on, it will save the session and turn it off

    The joy of the ambiguous "it": when the in-game payments kick in and the sprogs are making BMW more money than your weekly rental for the rest of the car's systems, it will save the current GPS session for you (as by the time the engine turns on again you'll have forgotten where you were going).

    "Come on Kevin, stop playing SuperAddictiveBunnyHunt or we'll never make it your cousins' place for Thanksgiving - what am I saying?! Help me pair my phone!"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: driven while the gaming is on, it will save the session and turn it off

      It's BMW, so you will pay for the car, pay to access the feature and pay for the data to download the games. And advertisers will pay BMW to show adverts to you, and pay BMW for data about you. All while you sit, stationary, in your car while you're paying to recharge it.

      The future sounds rubbish.

      1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: driven while the gaming is on, it will save the session and turn it off

        It will be more fun when musky's neural link thing comes in .... so it can activate your car when you get in....... and spam you adverts both in reality and in your dreams, collect all sorts of data that can be sold and a final twist, your bodily functions as a subscriber service.

        "Looks like you've just eaten a huge curry, pay $5 to start digesting it now, or wait 24 hrs for it to fester in your bowels"

        "Your credit card has been declined, all breathing and heartbeat functions will be terminated within 24 hrs unless you setup a new payment scheme"

        Share and enjoy !

  9. s. pam
    Flame

    Perhaps it will have a game

    To teach its drivers how to stay out of Lane 3

    1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

      Re: Perhaps it will have a game

      "To teach its drivers how to stay out of Lane 3"

      You can accuse BMW drivers of many things, but lane hogging isn't one of them. They're more likely to be behind the lane hogger. 6cm behind. With lights, horn and hand gestures.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like