back to article Reg fashion: Here's what the well-dressed astronaut will wear on the Moon in 2025

NASA and its spacesuit provider Axiom Space have revealed what the astronauts on the Artemis III mission will wear if, as planned, they reach the surface of the Moon in 2025. Here it is in all its glory … kinda. More on that below the picture. Artemis III spacesuit Artemis III spacesuit – Click to enlarge Here's the thing …

  1. Rich 11 Silver badge

    Tight fit?

    The AxEMU has also been designed "to fit a broad range of crew members, accommodating at least 90 percent of the US male and female population."

    That's quite an achievement, given that 41% of Americans are obese and 9% are severely obese.

    1. Neil Barnes Silver badge
      Alien

      Re: Tight fit?

      So the suit will fit, but the door might not?

      1. Sceptic Tank Silver badge
        Windows

        Re: Tight fit?

        I think Mr. Incredible had this problem.

        1. Lazlo Woodbine

          Re: Tight fit?

          Or maybe they're using the fabric Elastigirl's suit is made from...

          1. bombastic bob Silver badge
            Devil

            Re: Tight fit?

            I always figured something similar to shoelaces would make this possible

            An emergency space suit, that is 'one size fits all', could basically be a giant ziplock bag with shoelaces for arms and legs and torso to "make it fit". So as air is venting, you crawl in, zip up, pull some laces and hit the O2 bottle. "Space suit"

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Tight fit?

        The female version sports high heels, short shorts and deep plunging neckline. This Lunar fashion trend may change as hemlines are expected to come down for the winter at Shackleton Crater.

        1. Mr Dogshit

          Re: Tight fit?

          Let's hope so.

        2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          Re: Tight fit?

          >The female version sports high heels, short shorts and deep plunging neckline.

          Would this suit be allowed to launch from Florida for women astronauts?

          Is women wearing trousers = drag ?

        3. bombastic bob Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: Tight fit?

          The female version also needs thigh-high socks and opera gloves...

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            Re: Tight fit?

            ...and a built in purple wig :-)

      3. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Tight fit?

        >So the suit will fit, but the door might not?

        Lunar mobility scooters

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Tight fit?

          There's already three of them on the Moon. Sadly they were not parked in the proper charging bays, having been left in random places by the previous "riders". All you have to do is find one, sign up with the app, complete the "captcha" (pick three images with craters in them), register your usage and off you go. Don't forget to wear a helmet and take out the optional insurance.

    2. RockBurner

      Re: Tight fit?

      "One size fits nobody"

      (to quote some author, who's name escapes me at this moment)

      1. Joe W Silver badge

        Re: Tight fit?

        Maybe Sir PTerry? I think he described the equipment of the Watch as "one size does not quite fit anybody" (along these lines...)

      2. yetanotheraoc Silver badge

        Re: Tight fit?

        I remember Heinlein wrote uniforms came in two sizes, too large and too small.

      3. phuzz Silver badge

        Re: Tight fit?

        Possibly Spike Milligan, but I reckon variations of that joke have been made since uniforms were first handed out.

  2. lglethal Silver badge
    Trollface

    I guess Axiom misunderstood the quote from Isaac Newton - "If I have achieved anything, it's because I stood on the shoulder of giants".

    He wasn't talking about the Western Sydney Giants! I mean they haven't achieved anything... :p

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Nasa could just hire Geordie astronauts then just use Aussie football shirts (in black+whtite naturally)

  3. wolfetone Silver badge
    Coat

    Phwoar

    I can't wait for this to appear on PornHub.

    "FakeSpaceShip: Sexy Spaceman In Tight Fitting Suit Can't Pay Fare"

  4. nematoad
    WTF?

    Why?

    "a cover layer … used for display purposes only to conceal the suit's proprietary design."

    So what's the point of showing us this?

    There could be any thing underneath, a Michelin Man, Mr. Blobby or an inflatable Santa.

    Let's hope that the engineering is better thought out than this ridiculous photo-op.

    1. Halfmad

      Re: Why?

      We'll see it when it's in space, they don't want it leaking before and someone (cough) china copying it and using it first.

      1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

        Re: Why?

        We'll see it when it's in space, they don't want it leaking before and someone (cough) china copying it and using it first.

        Hopefully they don't want it leaking at all, especially not when it's in space. Kinda curious what they think they're protecting given they've already got the contract to put US boots on the ground. Existing CDP laws would presumably prevent other media companies from producing unauthorised or unlicensed Moon landing news footage. So perhaps they're just being mean and trying to stop Adam Savage rocking one to a cosplay convention before it's official launch. Or it's because they haven't yet finalised or announced the sponsor's logos that will be on the official suits.

        I am curious what aspects of the design rivals could copy just from a visual image.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Why?

          Maybe just how thick the soles are? As they're going to be on the side that Pink Floyd was singing about the floor is going to be a tad fresher than on the lit side, and I think that required a new approach to insulation. Not that you can see much of it, but that's one of the main differences with, umm, 'traditional' space suits.

          Now, just to throw a stick in the proverbial hen house, semantically they're moon suits, not space suits :).

          1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

            Re: Why?

            Maybe just how thick the soles are? As they're going to be on the side that Pink Floyd was singing about the floor is going to be a tad fresher than on the lit side, and I think that required a new approach to insulation

            Fair point. Or it could just be they're covering the Yeezy logo until they find a new sponsor. Again I guess I'm curious how much you could learn from video, ie if the soles are made from Ultraboost(TM) or just plain'ol EVA or TPU. Or when we'll see the first Lunar citizens being mugged for their sneakers, and which legal system will apply. Creating something as 'simple' as a boot sole must be a fascinating challenge given the way Earth-standard materials like expanded or compressed plastics would behave very different in a vacuum and on lunar surface conditions.. And that's just one element that has to work a very long way from the nearest cobblers.

            1. HelpfulJohn Bronze badge

              Re: Why?

              "...and which legal system will apply."

              Maritime Law. According to Captain Blondbeard that would make heisting boots an act of piracy.

              Also, perhaps, a little risky for the victim.

              1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

                Re: Why?

                Maritime Law. According to Captain Blondbeard that would make heisting boots an act of piracy.

                Hmm.. so that's how the Freman got started.

                Also, perhaps, a little risky for the victim.

                I dunno. I think there are riskier activities. Crocs might be trendy, but inappropriate footwear to wear outdoors on the Moon. Unless you're into scarification and want to demonstrate your brand loyalty on your feet. Or a long time ago, I read another SF story that talked about why walking on frozen gas lakes might be a bad idea, especially if your soles transfer heat. Or you slip and fall so your radiator lands on the ice. Then, alien ice skating might not seem such a sublime idea.

                Alternatively, there might be benefits. Like no need for odour eaters or trainer tamers. Just leave your boots outside the airlock in the shade, and they should be freshened up. Unless your foot bacteria somehow manage to colonise the new planet and turns into toe cheese.

                1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
                  Thumb Up

                  Re: Why?

                  "Or a long time ago, I read another SF story that talked about why walking on frozen gas lakes might be a bad idea, especially if your soles transfer heat."

                  The Forever War, Joe Haldeman. The troops practising "cold manoeuvres" on Charon before deploying. An yes, oddly, your comment triggered the full memory of that, I didn't even have to look it up :-)

                  1. Jellied Eel Silver badge

                    Re: Why?

                    The Forever War, Joe Haldeman. The troops practising "cold manoeuvres" on Charon before deploying. An yes, oddly, your comment triggered the full memory of that, I didn't even have to look it up :-)

                    Aha! Triggered! It's fun the way our brains work. I got triggered by thinking about waking on alien surfaces, but didn't make the connection. But I'd been looking for my copy of that recently due to the way Haldeman's 1970s era, post-Vietnam experiences shaped a view of a future society that's eerily familiar now. Somehow, it's a book that probably won't be turned into a movie or TV show by Hollywood, Netflix, Amazon or Disney any time soon. I really must read it again.

                    (And next challenge.. The Steam release of Dwarf Fortress triggered my memory of the tale of Boatmurdered, and flaming elephants. Which made me remember a historical fantasy novel set in Roman Britain that involved evil sorceror/necromancers and demonic elephants. Can't remember if it was good, but certainly different enough to lodge in my brain. No idea what the title or author was other than being a fantasy novel, was part of a series. My search-fu has failed me finding that one.)

          2. Fred Dibnah

            Re: Why?

            Shirley they are space suits with moon boots? After all, the boots are the only bit that touches the moon (hopefully).

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Why?

              Yup.

              And they will be ..

              .. moonwalking ..

              Yeah, yeah, I know, don't give up the day job..

              :)

              1. An_Old_Dog Silver badge
                Coat

                Badump-kssh!

                (That's your Sting!)

                "Giant steps are what you take, walking on the moon. / I hope my legs don't break, walking on the moon. / We could walk forever, walking on the moon. / We could live together, walking on, walking on the moon."

                ♪ Chi-chang-chang ... ♫

                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Re: Badump-kssh!

                  I'm kinda sad that Sting is losing his voice, but I guess that'll happen to all of us as we get older (but in my case my singing would more be used to keep away birds, not to fill concert halls) - we lose a register or so.

                  That said, that was not in evidence the last time the late Aretha Franklin sang in public. That still manages to make the hair on my arms stand on end, and it wasn't the only spectacularly good performance there either..

                2. bombastic bob Silver badge
                  Coat

                  Re: Badump-kssh!

                  you can't really 'moonwalk' to that...

          3. FrogsAndChips Silver badge
            Facepalm

            Re: Why?

            Duh? Is it necessary to remind on El Reg that there's no such thing as a dark side / lit side of the Moon, and that all regions experience the same day/night alternation as here on Earth, except on a different period?

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Why?

              Yes, yes, but that wouldn't be fun..

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Why?

              but there is... without a moon satellite to relay the radio... it is radio dark... then there is also the concept of it being dark while boots are on the ground... so technically yes there is a dark side of the moon... a side that faces away from us... dark from our visual perception...

              1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
                Alien

                Re: Why?

                To the dark side he has gone.

          4. phuzz Silver badge
            Boffin

            Re: Why?

            As they're going to be on the side that Pink Floyd was singing about

            Sorry to ruin the poetry, but the far side of the Moon isn't actually always dark, it's just always turned away from the Earth*. Also they're not planning to land there, but instead at the Moon's south pole, where there's some areas in permanent darkness (about twenty five Kelvin), and others in permanent sunlight (about four hundred Kelvin), so the suits are going to have to potentially deal with the whole range of temperatures.

            * Although, when the near side of the moon is not being lit by the sun, it does still get some illumination from the light reflecting off the Earth. So it would be fair to call the far side of the Moon the "darker side" of the Moon. Which sounds like the title of a remix album now I think about it.

            1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

              Re: Why?

              "There is no dark side of the moon really; as a matter of fact it's all dark." "The only thing that makes it look alight is the sun."

              1. phuzz Silver badge

                Re: Why?

                Yup. It's really hard to get your head around, but really most of the moon is about as bright as tarmac. It just looks white to our eyes because the sun is so bloody bright.

  5. TheProf

    Looks aren't everything

    I hope the real moon suits like more like the Apollo ones and not like the SpaceX ones.

    Wear a SpaceX one to school and you know you're going to be duffed up.

    1. Arthur the cat Silver badge

      Re: Looks aren't everything

      Wear a SpaceX one to school and you know you're going to be duffed up.

      Wear an Apollo one and they're just going to put you on your back and laugh as you try to get up. Those things had minimal mobility and the Apollo astronauts had to fight them all the time.

      1. cray74

        Re: Looks aren't everything

        Mobility and comfort of spacesuits have definitely improved since the Apollo A7L.

        On the other hand, SpaceX doesn't have space suits. SpaceX has only produced pressure suits for emergencies, like depressurization during launch, and they're not intended for spacewalks or moonwalks.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Looks aren't everything

        So it wasn't an Eagle that landed, but a Turtle? Whoops, there goes the jelly! Least the moon gots less tug, so its easier to jump back up.

        1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

          Re: Looks aren't everything

          You're the burser and you need your dried frog pills

  6. Arthur the cat Silver badge
    Pint

    [Copy Editor's note: No, Simon, it should not.]

    Pint for the copy editor —>

  7. Groo The Wanderer Silver badge

    So the photo is essentially bullshit, right? It doesn't show us the suit, it doesn't show us the proper COLOUR of the future suit.

    Marketing hype to build up press is all it is.

    I'm rather disappointed that NASA would resort to such scummy tactics to garner attention.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It's basically a dummy to show to dummies..

      :)

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. Someone Else Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    NASA Marketing -- who knew?

    Scientifically literate Reg readers will doubtless have noticed that the AxEMU is an unusual color for something that will receive a full unfiltered-by-atmosphere blast of solar radiation. What with dark hues absorbing heat and lighter tones reflecting it.

    Axiom Space acknowledged that by admitting "a spacesuit worn on the Moon must be white to reflect heat and protect astronauts from extreme high temperatures."

    The chic gray and orange look depicted above is therefore "a cover layer … used for display purposes only to conceal the suit's proprietary design."

    In other words, this whole exercise is complete bullshit (or, more accurately, FOMO at its absolute zenith).

    1. yetanotheraoc Silver badge

      Re: NASA Marketing -- who knew?

      Who knew? I thought everybody knew! I know I read about it in Collins' book which was recommended here on El Reg. I'm sure they have a whole pipeline of marketing ploys ready to stream (ha!) out at the most opportune times, such as when funding bills are before Congress.

      https://www.amazon.com/Carrying-Fire-Astronauts-Journeys-Anniversary/dp/0374537763

      1. M.V. Lipvig Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: NASA Marketing -- who knew?

        "I'm sure they have a whole pipeline of marketing ploys ready to stream (ha!) out at the most opportune times, such as when funding bills are before Congress."

        I hate saying this, but marketing is needed There are too many people questioning out investment in space exploration. They'd rather the money be used to bail out students who took 100 grand loans for their degrees in Advanced Uselessness, and were shocked when their degree didn't land them a million dollar a minute career. So, they spent 4 years partying and learning bowbtonburn down cities, and now they want the taxpayers to pick up even more of the bill. Spending money for space exploration means less money available for the loans they don't want to pay.

        Personally, I support this new moon mission stuff. I consider space exploration a much better use of my tax dollars than helping indoctrinated idiots get out of debt. STEM majors generally don't have a problem getting their debts paid.

        1. lglethal Silver badge
          Stop

          Re: NASA Marketing -- who knew?

          I'd agree with you on the fact that NASA needs to market everything to make sure the idiots in Congress keep funding it properly. NASA's budget is a drop in the ocean compared to things like military spending.

          However, trying to put blame on the student loan repayment scheme is beyond stupid. The two have nothing to do with each other. And the vast majority of students do not spend their time doing worthless degrees, you might not like people studying things other than STEM, but people complete degrees in order to try to get ahead with their lives. That the US can even think of charging $100k for a ANY degree is ridiculous.

          I come from a land which is marginally saner on degree prices, but I still walked out of my Engineering degree with $32k in debt, which took me almost 20 years to pay off in full (I was only paying the minimum, because at least we get below inflation interest rates on our loans, but even so). Is that right that you should load up fresh graduates with a life time of debt? Especially when every single one of those politicians got their degrees for free?

          Your comment implies that you come from that era of free or heavily subsidised tertiary education. Since no one who has had to start their working life massively in debt would begrudge others getting some relief from that...

          1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: NASA Marketing -- who knew?

            They had delays on the suit because nobody thought about it until everything else on the rocket was almost ready, probably because giant rockets are for fun boys toys but clothes are for girls.

            They then discovered that the USA doesn't have a giant domestic spacesuit industry ready to leap to the challenge (the Apollo suits were made by Playtex, of girdle fame) so the suit was delayed, fortunately the SLS was so delayed it questions our understanding of time and space.

            So they are desperate to show 'progress' on the suit, even if it's just a mockup

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: NASA Marketing -- who knew?

      Maybe they got it mixed up with the suit for the new Space Force Space Marines super stealth space commando unit?

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: NASA Marketing -- who knew?

        Fortunately the USA does have a giant industry ready to produce logos on badges and t-shirts. Especially if they are just copied from star trek

        1. ian 22

          Re: NASA Marketing -- who knew?

          All of that tat is made in China. The same place MAGA hats are made.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Peeing one’s self in a dark (space) suit

    You get a nice warm feeling but nobody notices.

  10. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That photo was FAKED at Twickenham Studios. A bloke in a pub told me. You can clearly see there's no shadow on the left. Wake up sheeple!

    1. Montreal Sean

      He's right!

      NASA saw me in my Halloween costume and grabbed me for the photos.

  12. martinusher Silver badge

    Re purposed SpaceX?

    When SpaceX showed their suit design the design team remarked that it was actually very difficult to design a suilt that looked the part ("like in the movies") and yet functioned adequately. I don't think they would claim to have all the requirements covered since their suit was designed as a "keep you alive when the vehicle springs a leak" job rather than a "messing around in the vacuum of space" device.

    My guess is that they don't have product.

  13. Gene Cash Silver badge

    It doesn't exist

    The reason they had a cover over "the proprietary bits" is that the proprietary bits don't exist. They don't have an actual suit, but they had to show something.

    1. MachDiamond Silver badge

      Re: It doesn't exist

      "The reason they had a cover over "the proprietary bits" is that the proprietary bits don't exist. They don't have an actual suit, but they had to show something."

      Even IF they had a fully finished suit, who's to care if they allowed a group of engineers in lab coats replete with rulers and drip feeds to go over the whole thing mm by mm? I'm not seeing a "national security" issue with something like this and Abercrombie and Fitch aren't going to bring them out as next year's fall fashion choice for the fully equipped adventurer. It's a item with such a limited customer base that the market can be rounded to zero in the same way as the average population of the universe as figured by the HHGTTU.

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