back to article Meta cranks Zuckerberg's personal security budget to $14m while cutting everything else

Facebook parent company Meta is slashing costs practically everywhere, but it's not cutting founder Mark Zuckerberg's considerable personal security budget – that's actually getting a $4m boost. In an SEC filing published yesterday, Meta said Zuck's personal security budget would be increased to a pre-tax allowance of $14 …

  1. NoneSuch Silver badge

    Like the US military budget, most of that 14 million is being diverted into a black ops account to turn Zuck from a cyborg into a real man.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      .. and like most military budgets, that is a waste of effort, money and time on a hopeless task.

      1. Black Label1
        Black Helicopters

        ".. and like most military budgets, that is a waste of effort, money and time on a hopeless task."

        This applies to the bloated USA Pentagon only.

        Other countries with better scientists use their budget better, to actually produce functional, quality military hardware and software.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Let's just say that I have inside knowledge. I beg to differ..

    2. msknight

      Nah... they probably need the extra security to protect him from all the staff he just fired.

      I thought about putting, "Joke alert," but concluded that it's not that funny.

    3. 4d3fect

      Personality implants have failed--so far

    4. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      $14M is probably cheaper than what it would take to teach Zuck not to be an asshole, I suppose.

  2. Snowy Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    I wonder

    Where and to who all that money went given they are spending so much more than everyone else...

    1. Throatwarbler Mangrove Silver badge

      Re: I wonder

      Countermeasures to protect the world from the Zuckerbot in case it exceeds its programmed parameters and goes on a berserk killing rampage.

      1. zuckzuckgo Silver badge

        Re: I wonder

        > a berserk killing rampage.

        I'm more worried about a berserk software rampage, considering what he has "accomplished" with it so far.

  3. captain veg Silver badge

    how about

    I don't need any kind of security budget.

    This is because I'm generally a nice person.

    Maybe Zuck should try that. It's cheaper.


    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: how about

      Ah, but you don't have closets of identical clothes to protect.

      Also, it's impressive just how much he is willing to spend on his OWN privacy, no?

    2. doublelayer Silver badge

      Re: how about

      I like the idea, but if you were still a nice person but with tons of money, there still might be a need for security. I don't have a bunch of money, so I don't know this personally, but I can imagine the possible rewards drawing in risks from people who wouldn't target a normal person. Either that or all the rich people are just paranoid.

      1. Zolko Silver badge

        Re: how about

        But this would be a negative budget then: people would pay for a bunch of kidnappers to hold Zuck captive and spare the rest of the world his "ideas "

        1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

          Re: how about

          So a sort of negative ransom? Interesting idea.


          1. El Bard

            Re: how about

            Someone should start a GoFundMe campaign for this project.

            Obviously not us, in case the Zuckerbots are reading.

      2. captain veg Silver badge

        Re: how about

        I don't have tons of money, it's true. Maybe a hundredweight.

        I do, though, pay my taxes.


    3. Potemkine! Silver badge

      Re: how about

      I'm generally a nice person.

      That's why you'll never become a billionaire.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: how about

        .. unless you inherit big time.

        Quite a few never had to work to gather that loot..

  4. Mark 65

    He wouldn't need to spend anywhere near that if he wasn't such a c*nt.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is it just me

    or does it look like he's stored by hanging him from his ears when he's not needed?

  6. TM™

    All the layoffs are an attempt to push back on rising wage costs produced by a lack of skilled people. A lack created by the slashing of western education budgets at the behest of the rich and powerful, because money wasted on educating people should be spent on making rich people richer.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It's kinda ironic that they created their own problem here.

      Don't pay tax -> no funds for decent education -> only the inbred get sort-of educated (they have to buy the dumb ones their way through college) -> shortage of competent people -> those damn foreigners are better at industry -> quick! ban the crap out of them because we can no longer compete -> lose money anyway because now you can't abuse the lower wages in said countries.

      Personally I think that anyone who has more than $1M in a bank somewhere should be made to spend at least three weeks every two years helping really poor people survive. And by that I mean physically be there in the misery with just as few resources, not send a cheque to assuage whatever residual conscience they have.

      Now for the good news: there are some people who are well off that actively do this and use wealth and fame to try and help. It's the entitled lot that annoy me.

      1. BartyFartFast

        But that's not the American way, you can't be rich unless you know you're grinding the faces of the poor into the dirt, anything else is communism surely?

  7. El Bard

    Funny how all comments seem to assume that money actually goes to security-related purposes.

    There's lots of ways to get creative with definitions. Travelling on airplanes with the plebs? Too dangerous, he needs a private jet for "security". Hotels? Are you out of your mind? He needs to rent a private mansion everywhere he lands. You know, it's way more secure that way. Actually, you know what? Renting exposes to way too many risks. Much better if he owns a mansion wherever he happens to be for more than 5 hours.

    Moreover, pretty much the same thing appeared in the press years ago. And I just selected a random date range. There's a couple of paragraphs in there that will likely give you a chuckle:

    p.s. regarding the $1 salary:

  8. TeeCee Gold badge

    "...because of the importance of Mr Zuckerberg to Meta."

    Yes, just think. If you didn't have him, you wouldn't just have hosed a load of cash on a pointless corporate rebranding exercise and be chucking everything else you've got down the bottomless plughole of VR.

    I'd save the $14m and paint targets on the backs of his jackets if I were you.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "...because of the importance of Mr Zuckerberg to Meta."

      Given that all his jackets are identical I think painting it one one could be enough, it could spread to the other ones all by itself.

      Not that I would advocate harming Zuckerberg. First of all, Cyberdyne diapproves of anyone exposing the metal under the tissue, and secondly I'm convinced there's a clone waiting to take over anyway.

      Joking aside, I'm just wondering how you can blow $14M on security for one person. That's almost $40k/day - for what?!? It feels a lot like ego polishing - in a world context he's not that important IMHO.

      Zelensky, Biden, OK, those people matter, but Zuckerberg? Nah. Doesn't register.

  9. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

    Prince Harry

    And the family could move in with the Zuckerbergs and split the security bill

  10. Anonymous South African Coward

    What if Zuckbook folds, and there's no more money for security etc... what will Zuckboi do?

  11. anonymous boring coward Silver badge

    Zuck must be very loved?

    Or just paranoid.

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

      He's almost certainly loved by his mother

  12. Winkypop Silver badge

    The Law of security

    The less benign a person is the greater the required security.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Heaven forfend something might happen to the Zuckerborg.

    I remember when Steve Jobs died, such was his importance to Apple that they were forced to declare bankruptcy shortly after.

    Oh, wait, that didn't happen, because a company is more than one man and if Zuckerborg wants to feel safe in his bed then maybe he should realise that.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like